A Word Is Worth A Thousand Feelings
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. To Iori Junpei, that phrase couldn't have contained a deeper meaning. As of the moment, he was currently in his dorm room, sitting on the edge of his bed. Held gently in his hand was Chidori's sketchbook, a memento of her untimely death.
He wasn't sure where the phrase came from. He was sure that some dead guy was the first to say it, but all Junpei knew was that it seemed like the phrase was there from the very beginning, traveling from the lips of one to the ears of another, finally resting on Junpei.
As the phrase kept repeating itself in his head, Junpei could help but think that whoever invented the phrase, obviously knew a lot of words to describe art. He was sure he couldn't even come up with at least 20 words to describe any piece of artwork, since academics was never really his strong point. and he was pretty sure vocabulary fit in with academics somewhere.
Although, even with his select few words to describe artwork, Junpei still looked at each page of the sketchbook intently, seeing the words that represented the feelings Chidori never voiced to him. The sketchbook he possessed contained countless well drawn portraits of himself, and yet although each depicted the same person, Junpei knew each and every picture was special and different, despite their many similarities.
As he examined each picture carefully, he found the word Patience first. He didn't know why he described the artwork as patient, but the feeling just came to him. It fitted after all. Chidori had always possessed a great deal of patience to have drawn all of these portraits. Junpei smiled at the thought of himself attempting to draw something. He'd probably give up within the first ten minutes or so.
Next, Junpei found the word Desire. Although he knew Chidori never expressed many emotions around people,
the way she drew his lips, and his cheeks, seemed to show the intense desire to touch him. Junpei's cheeks reddened slightly as his lips pulled back in a grin at the thought of Chidori's soft, pale hands caressing his face.
Junpei also found the word pain. Chidori never feared her own death. And she never backed down from pain. But the pain in her heart was new to her. The pain of losing him. This feeling of pain was what had driven her away. Junpei bit his lip to prevent his emotions from pouring out. Despite the fact that he had already passes his period of mourning, the very thought that he has driven her away to her death clutched tightly at his heart, and choked the joy out of his soul.
But the last word that Junpei found drove his feelings into turmoil far more effectively then the pain he knew Chidori felt. The word that was seen more clearly then the rest. The word Love. Love was evident everywhere in the sketchbook. It flowed through the pages and was appeared in each drawing. It was the deep love that Chidori held for Junpei that allowed her drawings to truly shine and become something special.
So even if Junpei couldn't come up with a thousand words to describe Chidori's drawings, he didn't care.
He still loved her the same. So what if he could only come up with four words to describe her drawings? One doesn't need words to show their love for another. Junpei knew himself, better then anyone, that although a picture may be worth a thousand words, a single word can be worth a thousand feelings. And the word Love evoked thousands of feelings within Junpei. Feelings, that he could never describe. He was sure he would never forget these feelings, even if his memories of her faded or he loved another woman, those feelings he felt, he would hold onto, forever.
Finally closing the book, Junpei set it down gently on his bed, as he fell backwards and spread out on his bed, tired.
Staring at the ceiling he suddenly reached his left hand upwards, as if he were reaching for something dear. Something that was close to him, and yet far away as well. Unsure of his actions, but feeling comfort in them, his other hand clutched his beating heart, that only moved because of her. A smile graced his lips as he said the words he had always wished to say, but never could.
"I love you."he whispered to the ceiling, not feeling foolish in the least. Even though his eyes told him there was no one there to recieve his words, he knew, that she was close. She would always be close to him, seeing through his eyes, feeling with his hands, and living his life with him, always.