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Galaxy's Most Wanted: Ranma and Kasumi
Evangelion/Tenchi Muyo
by Shinji the Good Sharer

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story. If you think I do then you're out of your mind. This is a free fanfic and will NOT in ANY WAY generate money for my personal use.

It was another beautiful day in Nerima, Japan. The sun was shining and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. So as you can imagine Ranma was wondering how he got roped into carrying things for Kasumi as she shopped. It wasn't that he really minded helping her; it wasn't even that he wanted to be somewhere else. It was the fact that he was sitting outside the women's dressing rooms in a clothing store covered in bags of clothes and foods, while all the other men gave him sympathetic looks.

Next week was the first week of summer vacation and the Tendo family had decided to take a trip to the beach with the Saotome family. So Kasumi was shopping for a new swimming outfit since her old one was a little too tight in the chest area lately. Ranma just sat there baring it all with good graces; however that was when Kasumi came out in her new swim outfit. "Ranma-kun? Does this look ok?"

Staring blankly he didn't answer as his eyes roamed over the curves of her body. 'She was hiding THAT under that apron?!' All the men, even those currently being smacked by their girlfriends stared. One man walked up to Ranma and smiled. "Damn boy, you've got a hell of a girlfriend. Good job." He then shook Ranma's hand and walked off leaving a blushing pigtailed boy and girl in a swimsuit.

The outfit was a rather surprising choice for Kasumi. It was a white one piece but the sides were gone and it had a neckline that plunged to her belly button. The straps that held it up covered her breasts as they came over her shoulders and down her front to the thong style bottom of it. Kasumi kept blushing as all the men drooled over the sight. Noticing Ranma was about to state they weren't together she placed her hand on his stopping him from saying anything. He looked up into her eyes questioningly causing her to blush more before going back into the dressing room.

Ranma sat and sighed figuring Kasumi just didn't want him to get into a fight especially with her things in his arms. He ignored the jealous stares of the men directed at him, and the women's own jealous stares directed at Kasumi's figure. After a while Kasumi returned in her normal clothes and turned to Ranma as he spoke. "You should get it. You looked really nice in that one." Both blushed softly once again before they went to the counter and Kasumi got the swimsuit. After lunch at a ramen stand they began to head home.

"Ranma prepare to die!!!" Those simple words echoed as Ryoga Hibiki: eternally lost boy and pervert of the porcine type appeared. Striking with his umbrella. For a long while they fought, with Kasumi chasing after them in worry for Ranma's safety. She had heard of the fights, even seen a couple of Ranma's duels but this had been different. He had been attacked out of nowhere with that heavy looking umbrella, and from how those bandannas had cut through that light pole Ryoga was really trying to hurt Ranma.


Kasumi caught up just outside the city limits and saw a slightly ruffled Ranma watching Ryoga run off into the woods. He turned to her as she ran up then suddenly she fell into a hole that broke away under her. Rushing to the hole, Ranma looked down seeing her looking dazed but sitting up he jumped down. "Are you alright Kasumi-chan?" At her nod he looked around wondering how a cavern of metal had gotten here. "Where are we?"

Helping Kasumi up Ranma Kasumi looked around as well responding to his question. "I'm not sure, let's look around Ranma-kun. It looks like nobody's been here in a long time from all the dust." He nodded after considering taking her out of there, but he realized he just couldn't say no to her. Slowly walking the metallic halls they soon found a large room filled with strange controls. Kasumi and Ranma walked over to them and began looking them over.

Kasumi giggled drawing his gaze as she started pushing buttons at random. "Um… Kasumi-chan I don't know if you should do that. You know the luck people have around me." His words didn't seem to deter her as she kept pressing buttons, happily, the lights came on and she stopped then shrugged and kept pushing buttons like a happy schoolgirl.

"Come on Ranma-kun, it's just a building. Hmm… I wonder what this does." Pushing the button a light on the monitor came on. But otherwise nothing happened. Looking disappointed she kept pushing buttons, little did she know what that button had done.


"Sir a strange signal is taking over all our satellites, the frequency is so powerful it's blocking out our own signals for T.V. and radio." At hearing that the President of the international communications commission rushed to the controls trying to discover how that was possible. All the workers rushed about following the president's orders as they tried to regain control of their communications network.


Nabiki, Akane, Soun, Genma, and Nodoka stared in shock as both Ranma and Kasumi showed up on the T.V. screen at the Tendo Dojo. Watching as Kasumi kept pushing buttons, and Ranma watched in nervous paranoia the silence was broken by one single shriek. "My son's a manly T.V. star!!!!!!!!!"


In the Nekohanten, Cologne, Shampoo, and Mousse stared at their own T.V. watching the same thing. Kasumi played with the buttons and eventually found a microphone before starting to sing her favorite American song karaoke style to Ranma's amusement which happened to be Evanescence: Bring me to life. Out of the silence in the room as Ranma started singing along with Kasumi Shampoo finally spoke up. "Airen is big T.V. star, Shampoo so happy!!!"


At the U-chan, Ukyo and Konatsu stared in shock as the song Ranma and Kasumi were singing drew to a close. "Wow Ukyo-sama, I didn't know they were such good singers. Ukyo-sama?" Hearing the loud thump behind him Konatsu turned back to the screen. "Must have been too much for her."


"Ohohohoho, Ranma-sama is truly worthy of my hand, I must have him sing for guests when we dine." Kodachi danced about happily cackling like a witch. Tatewaki simply twitched in anger that his rival for Akane and the pigtailed girl was on T.V. enslaving another girl as he saw it. Principle Kuno was a little more level headed wondering if he could get better press for the school from this whole performance.


Kasumi and Ranma sat laughing not knowing that everyone else was watching them or even that they were broadcasting all over the world. Kasumi stood and put the microphone back and started pushing more buttons. Seeing a large blinking red button Kasumi pushed it, the whole room lit up startling them both as a computerized voice spoke. "Beginning start-up process. All systems functioning within normal parameters, two life forms detected, State names."

Ranma being used to these types of things spoke first. "Ranma Saotome, who wants to know?" Kasumi gave her name after noticing the machine was waiting for her response. After that the whole ship seemed to come online, beeps and other sounds echoing slightly as everything began to make small noises. Ranma put Kasumi behind him protectively as he watched the whole room for any movement.

After all the sounds died down the voice spoke again. "Registration complete, welcome captain Ranma Saotome and Crew member Kasumi Tendo. I am the pirate ship RX-1179384 codename Shadow Slight." Kasumi and Ranma stared as everyone around the world watched or listened in confusion. The NWC just shook their head and sighed knowing this was just more weirdness from Ranma the chaos magnet.

Kasumi spoke up after a few moments. "It's nice to meet you Ship-san. You are telling us that you are a space ship and Ranma-kun is your captain?" Receiving an affirmative answer Kasumi sat and thought a while; she then turned to Ranma and smiled brightly. "Let's run away Ranma-kun."

In Nerima an echo of screams were heard all over the district. Looking at her Ranma felt nervous, he knew it wouldn't be so bad to run away with her, after all they had all the food and supplies they'd need for at least a month and she was an amazing cook but he was worried she might not want that. "Why do you want to Kasumi-chan? You have a nice home, a family, a nice life, and even a guy who loves you if that guy ever gets off his Kasumi-syndrome situation. Why would you want to run away, especially with a guy like me?"

Kasumi smiled and shook her head. "People take us both for granted. My family leaves all the work to me and treats me more like a servant than a family member. You father treats you like currency and all of your fiancées treat you like a prize while my sister abuses you. Neither of us wants the life we have. Let's just go, let's just find somewhere we won't be slaves to what others think we should do or be."

All the people who knew these two people were shocked and angry. Akane ranted about her sister trying to steal her property. The fathers both shivered that they might have to actually do work again. Nodoka stared in horror at finding out the truth of how Genma and the fiancées had treated her son. The fiancées fumed at being talked about like that. Finally Ranma spoke after thinking long and hard. "I'll go on one condition Kasumi-chan."

Looking up to him in worry she nodded and watched his eyes. "What is the condition Ranma-kun?" The response she got was the warm feel of his lips on hers. After freezing and looking shocked for a moment she molded her body into his arms kissing back with all the passion she could muster. His arms wrapped around her hips and drew her closer. All over the world women swooned and watched starry eyed except for the fiancées who ground their teeth.

"Ship, lets get out of here. We need to find a better home." The ship confirmed the command and had them sit in a pair of chairs before closing the broadcasting channel in preparation for take off. The engines fired and the ship began to lift up out of the ground. The earth it had been buried in breaking away as it lifted up into the air. All the people of Nerima rushed out of their houses and stared at the ship.

It was a huge black and red ship, roughly the size of a mountain with level upon level of lights coming from windows on each deck. The massive size shocked everyone including the new captain and crewmember. The sleek sloping design arched around the curved wide girth of the ship while weapons seemed to dot the armor. A large red two-tailed scorpion design rested over a large panel of black as the huge flying fortress lifted into the air. The hatch they had fallen into the ship through closed as well as all other open hatches as it lifted up into the sky, reaching into space it kept going as Ranma and Kasumi both watched the earth for a moment. Soon they turned and neither looked back on the tiny blue planet as they headed for the deep reaches of space.

Each girl felt her heart break as the flying fortress disappeared into the sky. They quietly all went to their room to cry. Nobody could feel the emptiness in their hearts, or take away the realization that they had betrayed Ranma all this time. The fathers stared in horror as their meal tickets both blasted off into the sky. Finally the last thing was a mother; one who was now broken because her son, the only thing she lived for any longer was gone. In that moment she knew, it was time for her to move on and leave the bastard who had hurt her son. Holding her sword she quietly left the Tendo Dojo not even looking back as she headed from her fathers shrine in Okayama.


Four hours later, Kasumi and Ranma sat in the large arboretum by a small lake watching the stars as Ranma rest his head in her lap. Planets and other ships passed before the window as they watched thinking about what they want to do. "Ranma-kun? We've both realized that our families have been foolish and we have been as well by trying to live up to higher standards while everyone else just did what they wanted. We need to decide what we're going to do for money and food and things. So I think we should stop doing that."

Sitting up slightly Ranma turned his gaze to his girlfriend curiously. The light of the stars glittered in her eyes as they made eye contact for the first time in almost an hour. Ranma blushed a bit as he watched her wondering what they should do before turning to the beautiful girl beside him. "What do you suggest?"

Kasumi smiled, she had known for a long while that she loved him but had never had the nerve to act. Now that she had she felt she could do anything. Leaning in and kissing him he snuggled up to his chest and said something nobody would have ever expected of her. "Let's pillage other ships." At his shocked stare she giggled and hugged him tightly.


"Hello everyone, I'm Kasumi and I'll be holding you at gunpoint today while the rest of the crew takes all your stuff. It's a pleasure to meet you." Kasumi stood before the whole crew of the captive ship with a large pulse rifle. Women of all kinds from reptilians, cat girls, and androids, to shape shifters and elementals ran about taking things and moving them into the larger fortress. Each wearing sleek tight outfits that showed off their amazing bodies just as Kasumi wore.

The crew just stared as a young man walked in from the larger ship drawing all the looting women's gazes as well as the gazes of the women being held captive. Followed by a large group of men in flight jackets showing them to be fighter pilots down the stairs he came back carrying a huge crate by himself. Several of the captive women rushed over and took the crate from him and fussing over him much to his confusion. "Oh don't worry about this, you just go relax and we'll take care of everything."

Kasumi smiled a little at the new addition to the crew. With each raid more women would come on as new crewmembers to be around Ranma even if he never seemed to understand why. The huge pirate ship already had ½ the crew barracks filled with the best pilots Ranma had been able to find and all the women who flocked to her boyfriend. She wasn't jealous; she trusted him and knew he was more than loyal.

The captain of the captured ship smiled his smoothest smile standing up then turning to Kasumi. "Excuse me Kasumi-chan. Please, why are you with these pirates. You could always just come with us. Maybe we could have dinner sometime?" He came closer smiling with confidence, as Kasumi stood as serene as ever.

"I'm sorry captain, I already have a boyfriend." The captain's smile twitched just slightly at being refused. Before he could say a single thing to try and convince her he saw the muscular young man step up to her side with his right hand glowing a pale red. "Captain, this is my boyfriend Captain Ranma of the Shadow Slight."

Backtracking the captain sat down. For the last 2 months rumors of the legendary undefeated pirate ship once again stalking space had been on the news and in every bar. They claimed the captain was young but could match an android in strength and a cat person in reflexes. As he sat he sighed watching the young man escort the crew of his vessel and almost all of the women from the captured vessel into the large pirate ship he realized he never stood a chance and vowed revenge. "Goodbye everyone, thank you for all your stuff. It has been a pleasure robbing you and please feel free to drop by again."

Sitting in their ship, the pirates had a huge party to celebrate another raid. Kasumi and Ranma stayed for a short while before retiring to the arboretum. They sat drinking their sake for a time before cuddling up and watching the stars as they did that first night. The crew celebrated their victory, but in this quiet time where it was just the two of them, both were content to celebrate their new life, together.




Author's Notes:

Well here's my new update. I'll be going on with my other fics as well. My fic collection shall be my life's work, so never think I'll stop updating so long as I am alive.


"AHHHHH!!!" Ranma ran as fast as he could carry Kasumi through the halls of the underground passage while lasers and traps went off all around them. "I told you not to touch the buttons!!!"

Kasumi shrieked each time a laser or trap went off. She clutched him in terror and sobbed. "I'm sorry Ranma!!!" And all around the earth people laughed watching them scramble from the machines.

A week later they got a contract with several comedy shows on T.V. Nabiki became their manager and naturally got 60, Ranma's ½ of the money and 10 from Kasumi. Thus was Ranma doomed to a life of humor and misadventures till the day he died.