Sub-Title: The Super Secret Chocolate Defence Against Pigheaded Boys Society
By: Luna Mae
Published On: 14 February 2008
One-Shot: Valentine's Day Special ♥
Disclaimer: Pre-Deathly Hallows…and I still don't own anything.
"Eh, it's here. Lost it for a second, sorry,"
The girls sighed in relief.
"That could've been disastrous," said Ginny, sitting back in her chair.
"Sorry," Hermione apologised again.
"You very nearly destroyed the core foundation of this emergency meeting," Ginny informed her unhappily.
"I thought it was because we didn't know when we'd be able to hang out as just us girls again as our imminent doom is fast approaching," Luna said in her usual eerily detached tone, gesturing to the three of them sitting at a small round table in the back of the library.
"Er, that too," Ginny admitted uneasily. She began to unwrap their rather large stack of chocolate that Hermione had somehow managed to nearly misplace in her school bag.
Hermione and Ginny briefly shared a wary glance at each other.
"So," started Ginny.
"So," said Hermione.
"Os," said Luna.
"It's 'so' spelt backwards," she clarified.
"Agreed," went the same order of replies.
"So," In fear of their conversation running around in blatant circles Luna bravely delved further, "Boys," she decided.
Luna wiggled her nose like she had seen in a muggle black and white television show about a witch.
"Harry," sighed Ginny in defeat.
"Ron," sighed Hermione tiredly.
"Elliven," declared Luna.
"Neville spelt backwards?"
Nose wiggle response.
"He's got a hero-complex that could over-take England," Ginny complained in frustration flexing her fingers as if to imagining Harry's neck between them.
"He's head is thicker than a muggle Webster's Dictionary," Hermione muttered bitterly and then spat out something that suspiciously sounded like 'Lavender witch'.
"Neville's become rather tall, I'm afraid. The snorksnoffs must've bitten him during his infancy."
That familiar awkward pause that seemed to stick to Luna like nargles on mistletoe settled in again.
"Well at least you know that Harry would to anything to save you," supplied Hermione to Ginny helpfully as she pulled out three butterbeers from her satchel and passed them around the table.
Ginny scoffed, taking one and snapping off its lid, "Yes, but that also means we have to stop every time there's an old woman who wants to cross the street,"
"It was only one time, Ginny," said Hermione comfortingly, opening her own.
She rolled her eyes and looked at Luna, "And all you've got to worry about is Neville being to tall,"
"Ron's taller!" Hermione threw in.
Luna nodded calmly, "True. But Neville's grandmother has also forbidden him from seeing me during the holidays. She mentioned something about the emptiness in my head able to rival the emptiness of space,"
"Oh," said Hermione, taken aback.
Luna seemed hardly bothered, "And Ronald…?" she offered.
Hermione opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by Ginny scoffing, "Out of all of the billions of people in the world," she said distastefully, "You choose to fall for my idiotic brother."
"It wasn't intentional, I can assure you," Hermione said with a taste of bitterness, "You brother is a prat,"
Ginny rolled her eyes, "I could've told you that much,"
"I mean," Hermione practically spat, "What on earth does she have that has him so utterly captivated? Other than cobwebs and real empty space," she directed this towards Luna who (very nearly) beamed, "between her ears?"
"Boobs," was Ginny's ready-made answer.
Hermione stared at Ginny before discreetly looking downwards.
"Well, I suppose in comparison…" she trailed off.
"Only I'm sure yours aren't full of toilet paper," Luna said innocently, biting off the foot of a chocolate frog as she leaned back in her chair.
"Really?" said Ginny interestedly.
"How do you know that?" Hermione demanded, leaning nearly halfway across the table.
Luna waved it off as nothing, "I have a habit of overhearing things I shouldn't,"
"I thought that growth spurt over the summer before fifth year had been suspicious," Hermione said darkly, practically steaming in her seat.
"And I even told you that they looked lopsided!" Ginny added.
"Oooh, if only I had pointed it out to Ron…" she trailed off darkly.
"What about you and Neville, Luna?" Ginny asked, attempting to pull Luna (who was twirling her quill around a strand of hair) back into the conversation, "What's he do that makes you tick?" Ginny vaguely wondered I anything could make Luna tick.
"Is Neville, um…?" Hermione started off for her unsurely.
"Going to appreciate the fact that I won't have to change my initials once we're married," Luna finished for her decidedly.
"Exactly what I was going to say," mused Hermione with a suppressed smile tugging at her mouth.
A common silence passed between them as they observed each other.
"We should do this more often," said Ginny in a pleased tone, sitting back in her chair.
"Yes," agreed Hermione, in a tone that suggested she was quite surprised that their impromptu meeting had been a success.
"Will it involve more chocolate?" inquired Luna.
"Of course," said Ginny immediately.
"Always," affirmed Hermione.
"Good," agreed Luna. Pause. "Then will we be doing this often?" she asked.
They girls looked amongst each other.
"I don't see why not," Hermione shrugged with an open expression.
"It could be easily arranged," added Ginny.
Again, Luna voiced another question, "Will we be requiring a name for our unique organization?"
"Mm, The Chocolate Club?" suggested Hermione as she looked at the empty wrappers on the table.
"Lame," dismissed Ginny immediately.
"It should be The Secret Chocolate Society—no! Wait!" Ginny paused, a quick thought rushed through her mind, "The Super Secret Chocolate Defence Against Pigheaded Boys Society!" Ginny declared loudly. Any louder and it might not have been a secret for much longer, "No boys allowed, of course," she finished.
"Can't argue with that," said Hermione.
Luna smiled serenely, "Agreed,"
Suddenly, there came a great disturbance to the delicate environment the young women had set up between the shelves and around their table.
"Ginny? Are you in here? Are you all right?"
"Er…Hermione? Didn't you say you would go over my Transfiguration homework?"
"Um, Luna? Are—are you in here?"
The girls shared frantic looks (or as frantic as Luna could ever be) before snapping their eyes back to craning their necks around bookcases to where the voices came from.
"Harry!" gasped Ginny.
"Ron!" gasped Hermione.
"Elliven," Luna noted lightly. She suddenly frowned as she glanced at the table and addressed the others present, "Girls," she said, a strange sense of worry leaking into her usual surreal voice as she motioned the contents on the table in front of them.
The two other girls looked down and gasped.
"HIDE THE CHOCOLATE!"
A/N: Seriously, those poor girls put up with a lot of crap those Gryffindor boys put them through. I salute you, ladies.
(…even thought technically Neville marries Hannah Abbot –ahem-)