It was about two hours later when the withdrawal symptoms started to kick in. The cold flashes were coming and going, one minute she was fine and the next she was shivering with cold. She got up from the bed as carefully as she could so she wouldn't wake Scott, and then headed out into the hallway to get an extra blanket. She felt bad about having Scott spend the night, but he seemed like he was sleeping just fine and she wanted to do everything she could to keep it that way. As she reached the linen closet in the hallway another cold flash hit her. She opened the door and pulled out a quilt that her mother had made for her when she was bedridden a few years ago. She pulled it around her shoulders and stumbled back into the bedroom, shaking so hard she was almost convulsing.

She sat back down on the bed, and flipped to the preview channel to see if anything good was on at midnight. She was looking for a comedy to watch, anything funny to take her mind off the detox process. She reached over to the nightstand with a shaky hand and pulled a cigarette from the pack. She lit it and then set the lighter back down. She looked over at Scott who had started to snore just slightly and she chuckled softly to herself. He really was adorable. She was starting to feel nauseous but she was the kind of person who would fight vomiting to the very last second. She hated to vomit more then anything and she guessed that if she really wanted to she could prevent it from happening all together, but on the other hand she knew it would make her feel better.

She took another drag from her cigarette and exhaled slowly. She picked up the remote and flipped the channel to watch South Park. She didn't really plan on watching it as much as she planned on completely zoning out and pretending that this wasn't happening. She supposed if she got really desperate she could go down to the bathroom on the first floor and get a needle out of the trash, but was she really that desperate? Besides she thought she was in love with Scott at that point and didn't want to betray him.

Another hour passed and the nausea was getting close to unbearable. She snuffed out her third cigarette of the night and got up and walked over to the vanity. She was shaking horribly, and she knew she was going to puke sometime soon. Since her hair was down she wanted to pull it back so it wouldn't get in the way when she did purge her system. She opened a drawer and pulled out a scrunchie and pulled her hair up into a ponytail. She looked in the mirror and sighed slightly, all of the color had drained from her face she looked positively snow white. A moment later she felt a gag rising in her throat and she raced to the toilet in the bathroom, nearly tripping as she did so. She landed on her knees in front of the toilet where she vomited twice.

"Dear god that's gross." She muttered to no one and leaned back slightly trying to get her breath back. She suppressed another gag and then got up and headed over to the sink. She picked up a bottle of mouthwash, opened it, and took in a mouthful. She swished it around in her mouth for a bit then spit it out and ran the water in the sink to clear everything.

"You okay?" Scott asked from the doorway. She turned to look at him.

"As good as I'm going to get." She replied and then laughed slightly. She untied her robe, tightened it, and then re-tied it. "Sorry I didn't mean to wake you."

"Don't worry about it, do you need anything?" He asked her. He was so sweet, how could she resist him? She picked up a glass from the side of the sink and filled it with water then headed out of the bathroom towards the bed. Once she got there she scooched over to her side and set the glass of water down on the nightstand. He followed her and sat back down on his side of the bed. Her whole body ached, she could feel it in her bones. What she wanted to do was go get a demoral fix just a little one, it would take all the symptoms away.

"I'm fine. I forgot to tell you that my house keeper should be here in the morning. She'll make you breakfast if you want. I don't think that after tonight I'll be able to get out of bed, the pain is almost excruciating." Amber said as another cold flash hit her. She grabbed the quilt she had gotten from the closet and wrapped it around her shoulders, holding it closed tightly. "Her name is Emily."

"All I usually have in the morning is coffee anyway." Guber said to her and then got under the covers. Amber smiled at him and then shakily reached for the glass of water she had set down. She brought it to her lips and took a few sips before setting it back down. "Do you want me to call in sick for you too?"

"That would help, especially if I manage to fall asleep tonight. If I am asleep in the morning don't wake me, please for the love of god don't wake me." Amber said to him. He pulled the blanket up around him and closed his eyes.

"Don't worry I won't." He said after yawning, "Goodnight Amber."

"Goodnight Scott." She said and then picked up the remote for the TV. It wasn't even close to the normal time that she would wake up. She sighed and laid back on her pillow and started to channel surf. There was nothing good on at that hour and that really pissed her off. She hardly ever watched TV, she only had one in her bedroom so if she was sick she wouldn't have to get up to see the news. She sighed again and reached for her glass of water, it was going to be a long night.

The next thing she knew she was waking up, in an empty bed. She rolled over and looked at the clock on the nightstand, it was almost noon. Her whole body was aching and she found that she was freezing even now that she had two blankets over her. She knew Scott was long gone and wouldn't be back for a few hours. After a moment of debate she decided to get up and go take a nice hot bath, it would probably help with the pain she was having. She kept the quilt tight around her as she made her way into the bathroom, and started running the water in the tub. Once she had it hot enough she closed the drain and walked over to the sink to look in the mirror. She had dark circles under her eyes, it was almost as if she didn't get any sleep at all.

"Great, I look like shit." She said to herself and put a hand on her face. She rolled her eyes at her reflection and then dropped the blanket to the floor along with her robe, she was still completely nude under it. She walked over to the sunken bathtub and got in slowly, the hot water felt absolutely amazing on her body. She leaned up against the back of the tub and closed her eyes for a moment. She took in a deep breath and let it out before reaching up to her hair and resituating it in the scrunchie so it wouldn't get wet in the water. Then she leaned forward and turned the faucet off.

Somewhere in the house she thought she heard a phone ringing. She opened her eyes and sat up in the tub and looked around. If the phone was ringing then Emily would get it and bring it to her, that is if she knew that she was home. Amber assumed that Scott had told Emily that she was staying home because she was sick. She hoped that Emily wasn't told the real story. The ringing stopped and Amber tried to hear if the phone was answered or not. A moment later there were footsteps in the bedroom and the bathroom door opened.

"Call for you Dr. McKay, it's a Scott Guber, you want me to get rid of him?" Emily asked from the doorway, keeping her hand over the receiver so Scott couldn't hear the conversation. Amber turned and looked at Emily. She didn't really care that she was naked in front of the woman, it wasn't like she didn't know what an unclothed woman looked like anyway.

"No, I like him, give me the phone." Amber said with a smile and then held out a hand to take the phone. Emily walked over to her and handed her the phone. "Thanks Emily."

"No problem, I'll be downstairs cleaning if you need me." She replied and then walked over to the towel rack and pulled off two towels. She set them down by the tub so Amber could easily get to them when she needed to. Amber put the phone to her ear and smiled at Emily in thanks for the towels.

"Scott? Hi, how are you doing?" Amber said into the phone and then sank back into a more comfortable position in the tub.

"Fine, I wanted to see how you were doing." He replied.

"I'm okay, my whole body hurts though. Having cold flashes, no more vomiting though." Amber replied. She tried to sound upbeat but she really was feeling trashy. Another cold flash hit her, even though she was in almost boiling hot water, and she started shaking again. She leaned forward and turned the water back on to add more hot water to her bath. "You don't need to check on me."

"I know I don't need to, I want to." He said and that made her smile, "Emily made me a very nice breakfast this morning. I'm barely hungry for lunch." Amber snickered slightly.

"Yeah she'll do that to you. She knows I'm on a strict diet so she basically just makes me what's on my list but she can make anything and it's always good." Amber said. It was true, she stayed on a diet 99 of the time but every once in a while she wanted something unhealthy and Emily could make it. She didn't even think she could name something that Emily couldn't whip up on the spot. That's one of the reasons she kept her around, she knew she didn't need a housekeeper, she wasn't very messy, but the woman could cook and that was a bonus.

"Well I have to get back to work. You want me to come over tonight too?" He asked, she leaned forward and turned off the water.

"You don't have to but it would really help me out." Amber replied and then laid back.

"I'll see you later then, bye."

"Bye." Amber said then pulled the phone away from her ear and turned it off. She set it down next to the tub and closed her eyes. She didn't think she could ask for a more perfect man then Scott at that point.

About 15 minutes later she got out of the tub and walked slowly into her bedroom. She knew what she was going to do next and she didn't like it. She had the phone in one hand and was ready to dial the number to one of the five pharmacies that she frequented. What she would do was call in a prescription for herself under a fake name and use a fake ID to pick them up. When she told Scott that she could buy everything she ever wanted, that included a few fake ID's. She called in a prescription for Oxycontin under the name Leila Bell and then hung up the phone. She then went to her huge, walk in closet, and started to pick out what she was going to wear that day.

She decided to wear some jeans with a tight black t-shirt. It was spring and it looked nice out, besides if it wasn't she could always throw on a sweatshirt of a jacket. She finished getting dressed and then walked over to her vanity and sat down on the stool in front of it. She pulled her hair out of the scrunchie and picked up a brush and started to brush it. She then brought it up to the top of her head and clipped it up so it would be out of her face. Her whole body still ached and it was such a chore just do to her hair, but she knew once she got the Oxycontin she would start to feel better right away. It wasn't demoral but it was close and besides it would be in pill form and easier to hide from Scott.

She got up from the vanity and went to the closet and pulled out a sweatshirt and tied it around her waist. She then went to her dresser and opened the top left drawer where she kept her fake ID's. She found the one that said "Leila Bell" and tucked it into her back pocket. Normally she would have put on some makeup but she wanted to get out of the house and to the pharmacy fast, putting on makeup would take way too much time. She shut the drawer, walked out of the bedroom, closing the door behind her. Things were starting to look up.

The next day Amber was back at the school, seeing the students again. She knew that she shouldn't choose favorites but out of all the students, Monica Edwards seemed to be the most interesting to talk to. She hadn't cut herself since the first time they had met, and Amber really thought she was making progress with her. Her Oxycontin was safely tucked away in a small box in her bag, she wasn't taking them all the time, just when her withdrawal symptoms would pick up. She figured she could slowly stop using them in a few weeks. She had picked up smoking again and was searching through all of her things for a cigarette so she could go outside and smoke since she had a small break. Monica had also given her a mix CD and she wanted to listen to it. As she was looking for her lighter there was a knock on at her door and it opened slowly. Scott was standing there, he looked a little worn down.

"Hey Scott, what's up?" Amber said and then found her lighter and pulled it from her bag and stood up. She didn't think it would be so great for the students to see her smoking outside so she planned to go sit in her car and smoke. "I was just heading out to have a cigarette."

"Do you have any aspirin? I'm out and I have a headache." He said to her.

"Yeah there should be some in my bag, feel free to search around." Amber said and then headed out of the door. "Feel better." She called behind her and then headed out into the hallway. The cigarette was tucked into a closed fist along with the lighter so no one could see what she was about to do. In her other hand was the mix CD that Monica had given to her. She doubted it would be the kind of music she liked but she promised she would listen to it and get back to Monica with her thoughts on the music.

About ten minutes later she headed back inside. It was quite chilly outside, even for spring, and she was glad to be back in the heated building. The bell rang and students started filing out of their classrooms into the hallway. Amber had listen to a few songs on the CD, the music wasn't bad at all, in fact she thought she might just have to buy an Evanescence CD for herself. That's what the music was, Monica had told her. She was humming the first song as she made her way back into her office. Once she was there she sat down behind the desk and opened her laptop. Just as she was doing that her door flew open and Monica burst in there looking panicked.

"Monica? Is everything okay?" Amber asked, a bit surprised at the suddenness of her entry.

"No, something….something's wrong with Mr. Guber." She breathed, it sounded like she had run all the way to Amber's office to tell her this. Amber looked at her and stood up immediately, "He was talking to me…and…and…his speech was slurring, and then…he just collapsed. You're a doctor…you can help him." Amber felt her heart drop into her stomach. She quickly went into her bag and pulled out the box that held the Oxycontin. Instead of finding six pills in there she only found four, Scott had accidentally taken two.

"Oh shit." Amber said and then ran out of her office, heading for the main one. Once she got in there she grabbed the nearest person, "Call 911 tell them we have an overdose!" she shouted at the startled office assistant.

"An overdose of what? Who overdosed?" She said as she headed for the phone. Amber ignored her and went right to Guber's office.

"Mr. Guber did and I don't know what." She heard Monica call behind her before also following her into the office. Scott was on the floor and he wasn't conscious. Amber got down on the floor next to him and took his wrist in her hand. At first she was panicking that she couldn't find a pulse, but she checked again and it was there.

"Oh God Scott I'm so sorry." Amber breathed through eyes full of tears. He was breathing but it was very shallow.

"Dr. McKay what's going on here?" Monica said with a shaky voice. Amber took Scott's hand in hers and squeezed it tightly.

"I—I had some Oxycontin in my purse, he took it thinking it was aspirin. He took two, which means he got 360 milligrams of it." Amber explained, "This is my fault all my fault….where is that fucking ambulance!" She screamed. She brought Scott's hand to her face and started to kiss it gently. At that point she didn't really care who knew about their relationship. They were both adults, and even though she was his subordinate she didn't think anyone would make a big deal out of it. She wiped the tears away from her face with the back of her hand and then started to pray.