Can you believe I have to spend Valentine's Day alone?

Celebi: Aw, why?

Boyfriend's working. (groans)

Pichu: Sucks to be you. (kisses Munchlax)

Four letters, Pichu, S-T-F-U.

Pichu: ;-; (runs)

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used. All characters are copyright of Nintendo. The only thing I DO own is the name of this one shot. It's actually the name of one of my poems.

P.S: I'm not telling you who's POV this is until the end!

Avenge my Valentine's Day

Typical Valentine's Day. Just a pathetic excuse for lovey dovey losers to make out all day. I really hate it.

Just passing people in the hall is enough to make me sick. I already had walked past Fox and Krystal kissing it up. I ended up in the kitchen and found Zelda and Marth shoving their tongues down each other's throats. The living room was no better either, which I found out too late when I accidentely "peeked" in on Peach and Ike exchanging saliva. Needless to say, it was a little awkward.

Which is exactly why I'm in my room. And I'm. Not. Leaving.

Knock Knock

Oh what the hell? Who's gonna bug me now? If Ike came by to give me crap about being a fucking "peeping tom", I'm going to shoot his head off so fast, his body will still be standing long enough for him to see it.

"Who is it?"

"It's Sonic," a muffled voice called from the other side.

I breathed a sigh of relief. Sonic was a good guy, someone I personally respected and was friends with. Maybe we could both sympathize about each other's fates on this crappy day.

I opened the door and saw the spiky blue hedgehog looking up at me. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah, sure." I opened the door wider and he walked in, heading straight for my personal fridge. "Hey! That's my beer stash!"

"Works for me," Sonic said, taking out a can and popping the tab.

"Sonic, aren't you only fifteen? You're not suppose to be drinking," I sweatdropped.

"What Master Hand doesn't know won't hurt him," Sonic replied, taking a sip.

"So what do you want? Don't tell me you're just here to take my stash of beer," I asked, folding my arms.

"Nah," Sonic replied. "I came to hide out."

Didn't see that coming. "Hide out? From what?"

"One word: Amy."

"You mean that pink hedgehog you told me about? What's she got to do with this?" I asked.

Sonic rolled his eyes. "Today is Valentine's Day. The day of mushy gushy love and junk. Amy decided to come to the Mansion and try and make me her valentine."

"Ooh...sucks to be you," I said sympatheticly. I knew, from all of Sonic's stories, how annoying Amy was.

"Glad you agree. Can we play Super Smash Brothers Brawl?" Sonic asked, pointing to the Wii.

"Yeah, sure. Anything to pass the time and make this day end faster," I said, plugging in the game.

We spent hours playing against each other and we also took turns on one player mode, unlocking new things and spending some time online. We won five games, lost once and had three sudden deaths. We were just about to start another round when Master Hand called for dinner. I realized I was starving.

"You go. I'm not leaving until Amy is gone," Sonic said, flat out.

"Want me to bring you anything then?" I asked.

"Nah. I'll just zip down and grab something later," Sonic replied, his eyes never leaving the TV. I shrugged and decided to bring my grub up here instead of eating downstairs with all the lovesick freaks.

So I disconnected and left the room. When I left, I was disgusted at all the big pink and red hearts that were plastered to the wall and hanging from the ceiling. And who's dumb idea was it to make Cupid a little naked baby with arrows?

I didn't stay in the hall for long. Who would? I ran down the hall and into the Cafeteria, passing Ike and Peach going at it again. God, don't they ever stop to breathe?? Ike tried to yell at me again, but Peach got him off my back. Not before I gave him the finger, though.

The Cafeteria was a bit better. Nana, Ness, Young Link and Popo were running after Pichu, trying to stick a red ribbon on her. Pikachu was arguing with Kirby and Lucario was meditating in a corner. How he manages that in a room with screaming kids is absolutely amazing.

I got a plate of food and was just about to head back up to my room when someone bumped me, causing me to spill my food over both of us. Feeling a bit pissed, I couldn't help but yell at that person.

"Watch where you're going!!"

"Me?! Try using your eyes for once, moron! This is the way in the line, not the way out!"

Huh? I looked up to see people walking past me instead of walking the way I was suppose to go. Oops.

Feeling embarassed, I looked up to see who it was I bumped into. In return, Samus Aran was staring down at me with steak juice running down her hair and barbeque sauce dripping down her...sensational body...wait, where the fuck did that come from?

"Thanks a lot, you insensitive bastard. I guess this is what I should expect on Valentine's Day? I hide out in my room, come out only to eat and I get splattered with food. Just my luck," she snapped.

"That makes two of us, sister," I snapped back.

"Meaning?" she retorted.

"Meaning I've been hiding out this whole time too. All these hearts and little naked arrow shooting babies make me want to puke my guts out."

"Well..." she softened a bit. "I guess it does make two of us."

I stood up, trying to get the french fries and ketchup out of my hair and suit. Jeez, if there's one thing I hate more then mushy love crap, it's laundry. But while I was trying to clean the red gunk off me, I heard something strange.

Light giggling.

I looked back at Samus, who had her hand covering her mouth and was turning pink. Her eyes were twinkling and the giggling was coming from her.

"What's so damn funny?" I asked rudely.

"You. You look like you came out of a french fry war."

Okay, that was weird. "Well you look like you came from a butcher fight," I remarked.

THAT was even weirder. But it made her giggle even harder and got a laugh out of me too. Soon, we were both laughing our asses off, and even the kids got weirded out enough that they shut up.

"Okay..." I gasped between laughs. "I'm still hungry...damnit, I can't believe I ended up wearing my food instead..."

"Don't forget about me. I got the butcher's end of it," Samus replied, splatting some BBQ sauce at me. I made a face and wiped it off.

"I'm going to get cleaned up. Tomato scent just isn't right for me."

"Neither is smelling like a dead cow. Say..." Samus looked at me. "After we both get cleaned up, how about we eat together? I'm kinda tired of being alone in my room, and I'd prefer to spend the rest of the day with someone who hates that lovey dovey shit as much as I."

"Sure, you can come up to my room. Son..." I suddenly saw a pink hedgehog with a red dress run in, screeching Sonic's name.

Samus looked disgusted. I honestly couldn't blame her, either. I lowered my voice to a whisper. "Sonic's in my room, hiding from the pink rat. You can play Brawl with us. I'm going to grab my food and wash up."

"Sounds good, but why are you whispering?" Samus asked.

"So Amy doesn't hear me and maul Sonic," I answered and went back to the caf line.

Fifteen minutes later, I was standing upstairs in my room and trying to explain to Sonic what had happened, all the while searching for a clean suit. Did I mention I hate laundry?

I could tell that Sonic wasn't too thrilled about the idea, but I assured him that Samus was just bored. I also convienently added in that he could leave at any time...especially to the cafeteria. He shut up, and started playing Soul Calibur Legends.

Luckily, I found my last clean suit under my bed. Don't ask me how it could stay under my bed and remain clean. It just was. I got changed and washed my face before coming out. Samus was already in and battling Sonic on the game. It looked like she was winning too.

We spent a few more hours goofing off and drinking a few cans of beers, but not enough to get crazy drunk. It was around nine when Sonic said he was gonna head back to his room. Here's hoping that Amy left...

"SONIKKU!!"

Obviously not.

Samus and I snickered and kept playing. Ten minutes later, we were both bored.

"So why do you hate Valentine's Day?" I asked, hoping to start a conversation.

Samus looked at me strangely. "Why do you want to know?"

"Conversation starter," I answered.

Samus looked away. I was afraid she was going to get mad. She IS a tomboy, and gets offended a bit easier then Zelda and Peach.

"I just hate it." She answered. "I'm always alone, and I always feel like a misfit. Plus, all the guys see me as 'one of them' sort of girl. No one would want to date me. It's just as good, because I don't care.

"But enough about me. What about you? Why do you hate Valentine's Day?" she asked.

"I'm not one for sappy love crap. With the business I'm in, you also have to close yourself off. I prefer it this way, too," I answered, gruffly.

A silence hung over us for about a minute. This was beginning to get a bit awkward with the silence.

"You know, I didn't expect a girl like you would even exist, Samus," I said.

"What?" She snapped. "What's that suppose to mean??"

"I always thought all girls were romantic fantasy lovers. That girls were just looking for a good time and dying to be kissed. You're probably the only girl I've met with an actual brain in her head," I said.

...WHAT THE HELL HAD I JUST SAID?

Samus looked surprised. "You must have not met many girls in your life then, or something."

"Well, that too," I answered.

I looked at her and found she was looking straight at me too. Her eyes...those green eyes of hers were...

...captivating...

I suddenly wondered what it would be like to kiss her. I wondered how soft her hair was. I wondered...

...if she was feeling as stupid as I was.

"You do know what this is like, don't you?" she interrupted my thoughts. "This is like one of those stories, where two love hating people start to talk and eventually realize they have feelings for each other."

I didn't say anything, but my face was growing hotter by the second. She could see it too.

"I have never felt more awkward in my entire life."

"Neither have I..."

"But you know what?" I suddenly said. "I don't regret letting you come here. It actually made me feel a bit better on this day."

"Yeah, I agree...it helped avenge my Valentine's Day. I'm not alone," she replied.

"Mine's not really avenged..." I said, moving closer to her.

"Oh yeah? Why's that, Snake?" she challenged.

"Because I can't stop thinking about what it would be like to kiss you," I said, and kissed her.

&&&

BOO YA, GO NEW COUPLE! The first SnakexSamus ever!

...I think. o.O