Wow! Okay, guys, sorry about that--my author notes for some reason didn't make it in here like they should have. Argh.

Anyway, this fic? Is my Valentine's Day contribution for the year 2008. I was requested to write some Wright/Edgeworth fics by my best friend, but here's the problem: I despise this pairing with every part of my being. I really, really do. However, I love my friend, and I aim to please (I love writing comedy), so...hopefully you guys will get a kick out of this. It's of a younger Phoenix and Miles, and I'm most certain that they are OOC many a time.


A Hot Not Date

Phoenix made sure that he still smelled like his dad's most expensive cologne before knocking on the front door to the Edgeworth household. He never asked his father if he could borrow any, but he did not think his father would mind, and just to make sure that he smelled nice all day, he used half of the whole twenty-ounce bottle.

Of course, when the young Miles Edgeworth opened the door, the first thing he did was shield himself with the door and pinch his nose with his fingers, twisting his lip in disgust at the smell.

"Phoenix, you stink!" he blurted out. Phoenix smiled and stuck his arms out wide.

"I'm just giving off my…um…irresistible manly odour!" he answered.

"I don't know what you're trying to do, but the only thing I can't resist right now is a set of nose plugs," Miles choked, "…what do you want, anyway?"

Phoenix's eyes lit up—he had nearly forgotten! He reached into his backpack and pulled out one of the fake flowers from the table vase in his kitchen, and handed it out to Miles as he said, "Oh…flowers for you!"

This called for a long silence. Phoenix anxiously waited for Miles to squeal and take the flower, but all Miles did was twitch his eyebrow and take another step back from the door.

"W-what is this?! What are you up to, is this some kind of joke?!" and with this, Phoenix disappointedly lowered his head.

"No, Miles. It's Valentine's Day."

"……But what are you doing?!"

"I…I'm asking you out on a Valentine's Day date, what else?"

Again, another long pause was shared between the two of them. Miles let go of his nose and stepped out on the front steps, closing the door behind him carefully.

"Phoenix,that's what older men and women do. If you want to do something for Valentine's Day, hand out cards or something!" he growled, hoping that no one would see them like this. Phoenix just stuck his lip out in a pout, though.

"But everyone does that! I want to do something funand really Valentine's-ey…just like in the movies!"

"But why with me?! Go find a girl or…your dog or something!" This only received a sad frown from Phoenix.

"None of the girls want anything to do with me…and I'm not going to ask Larry because he's…you know, Larry. But you're not doing anything for Valentine's either, are you, Miles?" he asked.

Miles twitched his eye again and looked around him. He then turned back to Phoenix and shook his head.

"Phoenix…just…no. No," he answered as quietly and calmly as he could.

"But I got a movie all set up at my house and everything! Come on, it'll be fun!"

"No, I'm not going on a…a date with you."

"Well then just come over and watch a movie. Neither of us are doing anything today anyway, right?"

Miles had to admit, he was not really doing anything important that day besides math and writing homework. He stared at Phoenix, who decided to try out the sad puppy eyes on him, which were not working on him, by the way…no, not at all, it did not matter how long he stared at him like that and made him feel like a bad friend—Miles Edgeworth did not get guilted into anything like…

"Alright, fine," he answered and Phoenix let out a, "Yay!"

Way to go, Miles. Way to go.

After telling his father that he was going to spend the day at Phoenix's, Miles and Phoenix started off down the street together. Phoenix grabbed Miles's hand, but had it promptly slapped away and was told, "No!"

Phoenix had to admit, he had no clue what to do. People in the movies never usually had this much trouble…then again, it was Miles. And it was only the beginning of the date, afterall. After Phoenix's house came into sight, they marched up to the front steps where Phoenix felt the need to open the door and give a small bow to Miles as he stepped inside.

As soon as they were inside, Phoenix grabbed for Miles's hand again, and like last time, was slapped away.

"I already said no!" he snapped, feeling a bit more uncomfortable.

"I'm just taking you down to the basement, though!" Phoenix shot back defensively. Miles rolled his eyes at him.

"I know where your basement is, Phoenix." And really, he had no clue. He still did not want Phoenix holding his hand, though. He followed as Phoenix lead him down to the basement where the walls were decorated with pink and red hearts, and pillows and blankets lay sprawled around on the floor in front of the television. Miles scoffed as he took note of the teddy bear designs on said blankets, and the fake candles around the scene.

"And how long did this take you do?" he asked as Phoenix ran to pop in a movie.

"I've been working on it all day, actually," he replied as he randomly pulled a movie from the family's shelf and stuck it in the vcr. Miles took a seat by one of the pillows and Phoenix sat down beside him and the movie began.

They had not gotten even five minutes into the movie when Phoenix let out a long, obviously fake yawn, arms stretching out far over his head and as they came back down, he wrapped one of them tightly around Miles's shoulders. Without hesitation, Miles slapped Phoenix's arm away and jumped a foot away.

"NO! I said no, Phoenix!" he yelled. Phoenix could not help but look slightly hurt, but he smiled anyway.

"Sorry, Miles. I still think it'd be fun, though." Miles rolled his eyes and they continued watching the movie. Another moment or so later, and Phoenix started scooting closer to Miles again. Miles moved further away, and Phoenix kept following. Phoenix slowly tried to rest his hand on Miles's, and in response Miles folded both of his hands under his arms and glared at the television.

Another moment later, he felt a hand crawl up his arm and he shook himself to try to give Phoenix the hint to knock it off. Phoenix stopped and stared back at the movie, utterly confused. Everything he was trying was not working, which he thought was a real bummer because the people in the movies always looked like they were having fun. He remembered one thing that he had failed to try yet, though, and he looked back at Miles, almost as though he were studying his every move. Miles obviously felt uncomfortable because he kept taking glances back at Phoenix the whole time. But he was making eye-contact…and what was it that people in the movies did when they made eye-contact like that?

Without putting much thought into it (almost like everything else so far), Phoenix leaped on Miles, wrapping his arms around him tightly, and tried to kiss him on the floor. Miles let out a shriek and punched Phoenix in the jaw, and kicked and squirmed his way out from under Phoenix and pushed him away as soon as he could.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Miles screamed as he leaped to his feet, and, not finding anything else to really say, turned and stomped back upstairs. Phoenix quickly sprung to his feet and followed him.

"Miles! Miles, wait, where are you going?" he called after him. He was almost thankful that Miles stopped at the front door to turn around and give him the angriest scowl he had ever seen from him.

"HOME, that's where I'm going!!!"

"B-but why?!" Phoenix asked, already knowing what Miles had to say. He had not meant for him to get so upset, though, he was just trying to have a bit of fun.

Miles took a few angry steps toward him as he responded, "BECAUSE! Because…because you're acting like an idiot! I told you I didn't want you doing anything like that, and you don't listen, you keep trying to grab my hand and I hate that, I hate that movie we're watching, and you trying to kiss me—you're even doing it all wrong to begin with!"

And with that, Miles suddenly grabbed both of Phoenix's hands and pulled him into him, smashing his lips into his. And there they stayed, not doing anything else for a long, awkward time. And then they realized that they should probably close their eyes, and so they did. After some moments, Miles let go and again, they stood there in complete silence.

"Yeah, that's…that's how you do it," Miles mumbled as he looked away. Phoenix remained totally speechless for another moment or two, though.

"Wow, Miles. You do that better than I've seen my mom and dad do…"

"Don't get into that," Miles snapped before Phoenix could go on. He coughed and the two of them continued to stare awkwardly at each other for another minute. Phoenix toed at the floor.

"Um…so, are you leaving? Or…actually, do you want to go finish the movie?" Phoenix finally asked. Miles snorted when he mentioned the movie, but then he started back toward the basement, holding his hand out for Phoenix to hold if he wanted to.

"Yeah, I guess."

Phoenix smiled and took his hand, and closed the basement door on their way back downstairs.


Hush up, my ending is made of win. Actually, it isn't, but I like to think it is. Review this sucker, then.