Author's note- What happened to turn poor Jess so sour towards the gorgeous Edward Cullen? Valentine's Day can't be fun for everyone. Submission to eternitys charm's topic off of sillybella's Twilight Challenge forum. Thanks for the idea EC!

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters, plot, location, etc are property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.

I got this idea for a challenge from one of my fanfics.
Challenge Topic: Jessica Stanley, flirting with Edward...
Genre:Romance or Humor, or both
Length:500-1500 words


Jessica Stanley stood in front of her school's bathroom mirror, smearing a thick layer of gloss onto her pucker. A head of spindling curls and dark eyes stared back at her, demanding some kind of reform. She settled for rearranging the positions of some of her curls and pinching her cheeks.

The jumpy girl had sworn after her freshmen Valentine's Day disaster that every V-day following that she would have a valentine. There was only one thing missing from the equation this year…a boy to be that valentine. Being of the typical naïve sophomore type, Jess had fallen for this meathead of a senior who had dumped her three weeks before the Hallmark holiday.

And then, a week before the dreaded day, opportunity had flown through the door in the form of Edward Cullen, a dreamy and equally standoffish boy in her first period English 10 class.

She held in a squeal just at the thought of him. She swooned over his mysterious persona and perfectly messed hairstyle. It was pathetic really, she could probably tell you exactly how many inches across his shoulders were, having stared at them every single English class since he had seated himself in front of her.

Her daydreams were as fantastical as they were immature. And as if her lust could have been any less concealed, she insisted on wearing low cut sweaters and leaning forward in her seat, pressing her breasts together and hoping desperately that he would turn around and notice her purposeful cleavage.

Jessica was set on the fact that he would be her valentine and had an abnormal box of candy hearts in her pocket, peculiar in the way that every heart said the same thing, "Be Mine".

Irresistible, right?

She practically fainted with excitement as the bell rang, signaling the beginning of first period. Her waltz to classroom 4b was comical seeing as her head was stuck in dreamland and her adrenaline peaked, meaning she could barely walk straight.

She pushed through the door, shaking out the long head of hair and pretending that she hadn't noticed Edward. He was in the seat in front of hers, where he sat every day. He was distractedly chatting to his adopted sister to his right, Alice. For some reason the sister's smile was wide as she eyed Jessica at the door, biting her lip hard to disguise a giggle.

Jessica grabbed her books and swayed through the aisle of desks. As she passed his she set the box of hearts on his table, making a shaky sound.

She barely had time to sit down before he turned around.

"I don't eat candy hearts."

"It's Valentine's Day! Everybody has to eat candy hearts," she replied, her heart beating wildly.

"Not me," he answered shortly, setting the box back in front of Jess.

"Well, why don't you like them?" You had to give the poor thing credit for at least being persistent.

"They make me feel sick."

"That's silly! When was the last time you had one?" Her persistence was getting on Edward's nerves. But he decided to be honest.


"See! That's the problem," Jess poured a few into a cupped hand and motioned for Edward's, "just try some!"


He had spun back around in his seat, but Jessica hadn't daydreamed for nothing. This Valentine's Day would be great, she vowed.

"Maybe we could get something else to eat then," she said, leaning over Edward's shoulder. His lips were turned up in what can only be described as an impatient snarl.

"No, thank you, Jessica."

He had barely maintained his gentlemanly manners.

The sprite to the right of him was slumped over her desk, her shoulders quivering in humor. He shot her an enraged glare but then refocused on the front of the classroom.

Although this rather straight-forward reply would have deterred most, Jessica didn't seem fazed. She grinned and began pushing her hair over her shoulders.

"What? Do you not like food either?" She laughed, a pathetic attempt at flirtation, accompanying her burst of girlish delight with a bat of eyelashes.

"Nope," he said beneath his breath, crumbling the pencil in his hand beneath marble knuckles.

Alice sat next to Edward, shaking her head in response to a question that no else had heard. Her brother seethed where he sat, wondering if they could have picked a worse town to move to and how long it would take to die of annoyance. Pretty long, he mused bitterly, considering he was immortal.

He thanked God and rectified in his seat as the teacher stumbled in, frazzled as always. But his relief was only temporary as his sister tapped him lightly on the shoulder, offering a folded piece of notebook paper to him.

He growled lowly in his throat, a sound only Alice heard, and grabbed the note.

It's a date then.

He slapped his hands over his brow and drew them slowly down the flawless features, cursing in Italian.

He didn't need to know who it was from; her mind was practically shouting intimate snapshots of them together.

The vampire resisted the urge to retch and scribbled the last words quickly.

No, thank you, Jessica.

He tossed the note to the desk behind him but knew the second she opened it that the conversation was not over.

Let me guess, you don't date either?! LOL

He hated Forks.

Unfortunately, no.

Edward dropped the note behind his back and rested his chin onto his hand, whispering inaudibly to Alice.

"You're dead."

"You should be flattered," his sister hummed.

"I hate you."

"No, you don't," she smiled brightly, winking playfully.

"Revenge is sweet, sis," he insisted, throwing her an equally brilliant smile.

"Good luck ambushing me, Ed," she quipped.

He heard the crumpling of paper behind him and hoped desperately that his brusqueness had persuaded Jess to never pursue him again.

But unfortunately for Edward, Jessica Stanley was a very determined young woman.

Author's note- I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading! Leave a review if you feel so inclined, tips appreciated. :)