Rating: R for language.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to their rightful owners. I own nothing.
Summary: Faith tries to find a Valentine's gift for Buffy, her non-girlfriend with potential girlfriend possibilities.
Note: Written for Crazy E's Valentine's Day Challenge. Check it out! crazyoneofoz dotcom
Let's face it: Valentine's Day is a gimmick created by corporations to make money offa lovesick fools and horny pervs. You go out, buy your honey the same flowers and box of chocolates that ten thousand other people bought before you, and hope you get a bit of nookie in return. Basically, you're shellin' out about fifty bucks for somethin you should get for free anyhow.
Not exactly my favorite holiday as you can probably tell.
I was the kid at school that never gave out valentines. Fuck, once I got old enough, I skipped school on that day altogether. Just watching everyone pining over each other and pretending that little pink cards and chocolate hearts actually meant something felt like such bullshit.
You want your girl to know you love her? Show her how just knowing her has affected and changed your life. Show her how you're a better person just for having met her. Show her that – despite fucking up in the past – you're in it to win it now. That you're gonna stay on the straight and narrow and do what you're supposed to, just cos you wanna do right by her.
Show her that there's no one else in the world like her. That there's no one that could replace her in your life, or in your heart.
How you're supposed to do that? Now that's where I'm fucking clueless.
I've been standing here in the holiday aisle at Rite Aid for the past half hour, trying to find something – anything – that I can get for Buffy for Valentine's Day. It all seems so cheap and meaningless though.
Now, B's not my girlfriend, let's be perfectly clear on that. But we've gotten closer since we left California, that's for sure. Everyone seems so crazy busy these days, working for the Council and all. But me and B? We're kinda just chill, taking life one day at a time.
On Halloween, she took me to a costume party in the city. She didn't' ask Willow; she asked me. We ended up sleeping in her car til 8:00 in the morning cos we were too hammered to drive. When we woke up, she took me for breakfast and sprung for it too.
On Christmas, we went skiing with the Scoobies. She let me stay in the cabin with her and Dawn. Even got me a present: a new leather jacket like the one I once had. Dawn complained that it was better than her present, and honestly? Totally was.
On New Years Eve, she let me kiss her at midnight. And I don't mean a little peck on the lips. I mean an 'everyone-was-too-busy-partying-to-notice-us-kissing-all-sexy-and-slow-in-the-corner' kinda kiss.
Yeah, it was knock-em sock-em hot as hell, too.
Course, she went all shy afterwards and could barely look at me. I told her it was okay, no big deal or whatever, but she insisted on doing the blushy girly thing. I didn't wanna smother her . . . well, okay, I totally wanted to smother her in a slightly more than friendly way . . . so I let her have her space. Figured she'd come around once she got over it.
And really? It didn't take long. We were back to our normal selves when we saw each other the next day.
But things have changed since then. She's been looking at me different. Kinda like she's got something to say, or like she wants me to say something to her. And shit, I don't wanna scare her off or anything. I just keep waiting for her to make the first move. Figured that if she wants more, she'll go for it.
'Cept Valentine's Day is today and I can't exactly sit back and do nothing. I gotta give her some kinda sign that I'm here, ready and waiting for her to signal me home. As far as cheesy commercial holidays go, I guess that Valentine's Day is the perfect time to do it.
Problem is, I haven't been able to find jack shit yet. There's no way in hell I'm getting her chocolates cos it's way too fucking clichéd. There ain't gonna be no dozen roses either, so scrap that from your plans too. Jewelry is nice but too couple-y, and hey, she's not even my girl yet.
The day that I shell out $500 for a pair of earrings that she's just gonna lose while patrolling anyway is the day that I get some serious sexin. I'm talkin an all day sex-a-thon.
After one last desperate attempt to pick something special or unique off of the jam-packed shelves, I abandon the idea of getting something easy. This one is gonna take brains.
I pull my cell phone out of my pocket and call Andrew. He's a geek, so I figure he's gotta be pretty smart.
"I'd go with a nice box of chocolates and some roses. Throw in a nice bottle of wine if you'd like the perfect Valentine's Day trifecta."
My only response is to make a choking noise into the phone and hang up on him. Shit, I had high hopes for him coming through for me. No wonder the kid can't get a girl. Although . . . the bottle of wine is a nice touch. That could come in handy.
I leave the store and hop on my motorcycle – compliments of the Council after a bit of pissing and moaning by yours truly – and head down to the nearest liquor store. The parking lot is jam packed with cars, which makes me pretty damn happy that my bike can fit pretty damn much wherever there's a bit of space.
The liquor store itself is packed with people, trying to get their last minute booze to liquor up their honeys. Nothing says I love you like a nice bottle of Tequila, or at least that's what it seems like judging by the half-empty shelf. I'm not worried about it though, cos there's no way I'd make B drink Tequila. You know that saying, "One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor"? Well, with B, it's more like, "One Tequila, Two Tequila, barf on Faith's boots and fall over."
Not exactly what I've got in mind.
When I reach the wine selection, it's big and vast and instantly intimidating. There are bottles upon bottles of stuff that I'm sure tastes exactly the same, but range in price from $5 a bottle to $200 a bottle.
I must look pretty intimidated cos within two minutes of my standing there with a frown, the salesperson, Josh, is leading me around and helping me out. He asks if I'm looking for red or white, and my only response is to ask why I can't get a bottle of both and just mix them together.
What? It's not like I'm some kinda wine connoisseur. Put it in front of me and I'll drink it. I'm not picky.
But I wanna get it right for B, so I tell him to find me something that's pretty mild and likable. He smiles and picks out a nice-looking bottle, promising me that I'll enjoy it, most ladies do. Hey, that's good enough for me. He takes me to the register and skips me past like seven people waiting in line to ring me out.
I almost feel bad cos this guy is about two seconds away from asking me out. Sure enough, just as I'm handing him some cash to pay for the wine, he asks if I'd like to share the wine with him. My first response is to laugh at him, but I go for nice since he was pretty helpful and stuff.
"I've got plans, my man. Maybe some other time," I say. A nice and easy blow off.
He looks disappointed, but that doesn't stop him from being friendly to me. He even gave me a little bag of those candy hearts before I left.
I hop back on my motorcycle with the bottle of wine stashed safely away when I reach into my pocket to grab one of the candy hearts. I'm seriously jonesing for some sugar.
I pop a couple in my mouth, then look down at the remaining candies in my hand.
There's no stopping the laugh that comes from me. Crafty guy, that Josh. Persistent too. The candy hearts read, 'Josh 555-0120' 'Call me' 'You won't be sorry' 'Parents love me'.
Cheesy as it seems, it's given me a great idea. I reach into my pocket again and pull out the bag the candies came in. Eileen's Custom Candies, 212 Brown Street.
Time to make a visit to my new best friend, Eileen.
I get back to find what looks like a surprisingly empty house. No cars, no vans, no junior slayers running around all crazy-like. Everyone must be out getting their Valentine's Day groove on. I get out my keys to open the front door, but it opens before I have the chance to try to unlock it.
No blaring radios. No girls showing off their slayer skills. No Scoobies trying to keep the peace.
In fact, the only sound I hear is the soft hum of the television on in the front living room. I grab the packet of custom-made candy hearts and hang my jacket up in the closet before making my way into the front room to see B.
Yeah, I know it's her. I can feel our connection.
"What's up?" I ask as I plop down on the couch next to her, stirring her from her lazy daze.
"Hey," she says with a smile before turning back to the TV. "We have five glorious hours of peace and quiet before the troops get back. I'd suggest you take advantage. I've decided to watch the movies I've always wanted to that I know Dawn and Rona will spoil for me if they're here."
I can't stop looking over at her. She's all curled up with a pillow on her lap, wearing the most ridiculous pair of slippers I've ever seen.
"And the Scooby Doo slippers?" I ask her, flicking Scooby's nose.
"The most comfortable yet embarrassing slippers ever. They normally don't leave my room. Tonight, they get to run free."
I can't help but chuckle.
"Mind if I crash the party?" I ask her, hoping that she won't mind if I hang around. How else am I gonna get to spend Valentine's Day with her?
"Sure. And you're more than welcomed to wear the Smurf slippers I saw hiding out in the corner of your room the other day," she says with a sideways grin, trying to avoid my gaze.
I raise an eyebrow at her.
"What you doin peekin around my room, blondie? Am I gonna need to rough you up?"
I'm joking of course, and she knows it too.
"Maybe after my movies," she says, stealing a glance over at me.
We're smiling at each other like two idiots. Oh man, something's gotta give.
"Wine?" I ask her, the first thing that came to mind.
"What? I'm not complaining. You'll get no complaints from this girl on this glorious free night," she says with a bit of confusion.
"You're a dork, B," I say as I shake my head and chuckle. I hold up the bottle of wine for her to see, "Wine. Ya want some, or am I drinking it alone?"
"Mmm, yes please," she coos as she pulls the blanket up tighter around herself.
"Kay, I'll go pour some and you cue up the movie."
Buffy nods in agreement and I stand up from the couch, ready to head to the kitchen. Then I remember something.
"Oh, I uh . . . I got ya something," I stutter out before I reach into my pocket and pull out the small bag of candy hearts. "Sweets for the sweet."
She catches them just before they woulda knocked her in the side of the head. Hehe. Oops.
"Thanks. I got you something too but it's upstairs and I'm all snuggly. I'll get it later?" she asks and bats her eyelashes.
"Sure thing, B." I say with a smile and haul ass outta the room as quick as I can. The hard part is over; I gave her the hearts. Now all I gotta do is deal with the aftermath. This is where the wine will help out.
A couple of minutes later, I make my way back into the living room with two wine glasses and the opened bottle of wine. I'm gonna have to get back into the kitchen eventually and block up the window that I broke with the cork. Never give an impatient slayer a bottle with a cork in it. Bad things happen. Later will do though. A bit of fresh air never hurt anyone.
I watch Buffy's face as I enter the room, waiting for some kinda recognition about the candy hearts. She doesn't even spare me a look though; she's too focused on the infomercial for some cooking thing on the TV.
"I bet that I could learn to cook if I had that," she says blankly, her eyes fixated.
"I highly doubt that," I say back under my breath as I plop back on the couch. I sit forward to pour a glass of wine for myself and for B, and now she's looking at me.
"I could cook if I put my mind to it," she says almost defensively.
"Sure, and I might grow wings and fly around the house in celebration. Chances are that ain't gonna happen though. The sooner you accept the fact that you're a shitty cook, the sooner we can get on with our lives and bask in the 'glorious' five hours we've had so blessedly bestowed upon us," I say as I hand her the glass of wine, offering her a big toothy grin.
It looks like she's gonna pout for a minute, but then she accepts the glass of wine and sits back and relaxes once again.
"Fine, but only because I'm jonesing for a nice buzz right now," she replies quietly. She takes a sip of the wine and hums happily before resting it on the end-table to her side. "That's got to be one of the best things I've ever put in my mouth," she says happily.
"I'm sure there's a joke to be made about that, but I'll let it go in exchange for your silence on the Smurf slippers," I say before taking a small sip of wine as well.
She's right, this shit is GOOD. Josh needs a raise.
"Deal," she says and offers me her hand. We shake on it, then settle in to watch the first movie.
I look around the room for any sign of the candy hearts, but I can't find anything. What the hell did she do with them? I'm brought out of my thoughts when I hear the music from the movie start up. Hmm, it's oddly familiar. Wait a minute . . .
Kill Bill Vol. 2?
I look up at the TV to see if I got it right, then look over at Buffy with my eyebrows raised. This is SO not her kind of movie.
"I thought you might be home, and I wanted to get something you'd like too. Andrew hooked us up with the sneak preview. He has mad pirating skills," she says, then offers me a soft smile.
"You seriously rock, B. Hardcore. I've been waiting for this movie forever," I say excitedly. "What'd ya get for the second movie?"
Her smile wavers slightly.
"I had to balance the kung-fu assassin with something more my style, so we'll be sitting through The Notebook."
I can't help but cringe a little. Sappy lovey dovey films? Not my favorite. But for B, I'll do it. Hell, so long as she lets me hang with her, I'd watch just about anything.
"Ah, and there's the catch. I guess I can sit through it," I say and she instantly smiles at me.
We sit back to watch the films, wine glasses in hand, our legs touching softly the whole time.
Kill Bill Volume 2 comes and goes and Buffy's just about to put the next movie on. When she stands up, I anxiously look around for the bag of candy hearts again. What the hell, man . . . where the fuck did she put 'em? Did she throw them out when I wasn't looking?
When she sits back, I know that I can't sit through another whole movie without knowing if she saw the hearts or not.
"Hey, I'm feeling kinda hungry, B. Toss over them hearts, I need some snackage."
"I ate them," she replies easily, not looking away from the TV.
"You ate them? The whole bag of 'em?" I ask, confused.
Does that mean she didn't see the messages on them? Or did she see the messages and she's avoiding the subject?
"Yeah, they were really good. Ate them all up. Thanks, by the way," she says and looks over to me, flashing me a quick smile before looking back to the TV.
Okay, I can't let this sit. I need to know if she saw them.
"Some of them were pretty funny. Did ya even read 'em before ya scarfed them down?" I ask lightheartedly.
"Umm, not really. Just kinda popped them in and chewed them up. Like I said, they were really good. Really satisfied the sweet tooth."
"Oh," I say, somewhat disappointed. "Glad to hear that."
Shit. Now what the hell am I gonna do? Sit back and let her make the first move? I'm gonna be here til I'm old and gray.
Seriously though, who doesn't read the messages on the candy hearts? That's one of the best parts. And hell, I put lotsa thought into those things.
Okay, not so much thought. But I did have to tell the candy lady what to write on each of them. That used up a few good brain cells that I ain't getting back any time soon.
I'm pulled from my thoughts when I hear soft crunching.
I look over at B, who's trying to inconspicuously eat something.
Uhh, hello. Slayer hearing here.
"Whatcha got, B?" I ask, getting a bit closer.
"Nothing," she mumbles through almost closed lips.
"Bullshit, show me what's in your mouth," I tease her, my thumb on her chin trying to pry her mouth open.
"Hey, hands off, it's my candy!" she squeals, grabbing my hands in hers and pulling them away from her face.
"You suck!" I say, using the upperhand position to swing her onto my lap.
She's laughing and struggling, trying so hard not to open her mouth more than a tiny little bit.
"You want candy?" She asks as we battle for dominance. There's a daring look in her eyes and there's no doubt that I'm taking the bait.
"Yeah, gimme some, B," I answer with a grin, my fingers laced through hers as we push and pull one another, effectively killing our balance.
She wriggles one of her hands free and reaches into her pocket, then quickly brings her hand up to her mouth and places something inside. By the time she moves her hand away, I see that she has a little pink heart with 'B Mine' written on it in place between her lips.
Yeah, it's not spelled wrong. B Mine, You Slay Me, Sex Me, Free Gropes, Sexy Slayer, No Clothes Allowed . . . all phrases put together by yours truly.
Personally, the 'B Mine' one is my favorite, probably because I want her to be mine.
Buffy raises an eyebrow at me, daring me to take it.
It's all the go-ahead I need.
I disentangle our fingers and move my hands to Buffy's hips, holding her in place as I lean forward with a smile on my face. She has exactly five seconds to back out.
I count backwards, five, four, three . . . ahh, fuck it.
Her lips are just as soft and as sweet as I remember from New Years. She kisses me soft and slow at first, her fingers taking the opportunity to slide into my hair and hold me to her gently.
All I can taste is the wine and the candy and something that is distinctly Buffy. I don't know how to describe it, other than to say that it's sweeter than the candy and more delicious than any wine I've ever had.
She moans softly into my mouth as our tongues finally meet. It's probably the sexiest noise that I've ever heard.
A minute or so passes before I finally pull back, looking like the cat that got the cream. I munch annoyingly loud on the candy heart which makes her smile as she runs her thumb across my lower lip.
"Pretty good, right?" she asks.
"Yeah, that's some wicked good candy, B."
She hits my arm playfully and laughs.
"I meant the kiss, you goof."
"Ahh," I say with a grin. "Yeah, that was pretty good too. Thinkin we can do better though."
"Oh you do, do you?" she asks, leaning forward to give my top lip a quick kiss.
That right there mighta been the sweetest thing anyone's ever done to me. Fuck, I need this girl more than I can say. I wanna do the same things for her.
"Yeah, I do." I pause for a second, just smiling and basking in how comfortable she seems to be. Time to go for the gold. "You wanna be my Valentine, B?"
She just kinda giggles in response.
"Well, duh. Isn't it a bit obvious? I've been waiting for you to make a move on me since New Years. I thought I was gonna have to draw a map or something."
Haha. Yeah, that's B, always waiting on me to make my move. It's cool though, I'm really glad that it ended up this way. Kinda like . . . a mutual decision that it's our time.
I watch as B reaches into her opposite pocket and pulls something out, holding onto it for just a moment before placing it in my hand and closing my fist around it.
"Come on," she says as she stands up, holding onto my free hand. She turns off the TV and starts leading me toward the stairs.
I'm a bit puzzled and I think she notices it. She grins all sly at me and looks down to my clenched hand, then back up to my face and winks.
I furrow my eyebrows before opening up my hand to find a candy heart resting in my palm.
'Sex me,' it says.
Hot damn. Have I mentioned that I love Valentine's Day?