A/N: Valentine's Day fluff. Lemon. If this offends you, go away! (And tell me why in God's name are you reading anything by a guy called Lick My Thermometer?)

Cameron caught him at the door. "Hey," she said, resolutely ignoring his attempts to dodge around her. "Happy Valentine's Day. Got any plans?"

"Yep. They involve me, a bottle, and a lot of pornography. You?" He put his hat on without even looking at her.

"About the same. Do you want me to come home with you?"

That got his attention, all right. House blinked, cocked his head. "Um…" He couldn't possibly have heard right.

"It's sad enough that neither of us has a date for Valentine's Day," she explained. "It'd be even sadder if we didn't at least get to have sex. Come on – I promise I won't get weird about it. I've already slept with Chase and it went fine."

He made a face. "You do realize you have issues? An attractive, successful young woman can take home any guy in the world… and you zero right in on the cripple."

She let him push past her through the door, but followed him outside. "Believe me I'd rather have you without the limp," she said. "Do you think I don't know how much extra hassle it's going to be? But I'm not in the mood to spend half the night flirting and pretending and impressing. I want someone I know… someone convenient. Someone I can trust."

"Try Chase or Foreman. Or Wilson - you know he'll throw down with anything th-"

"Foreman and I have enough trouble getting along as it is," she said over him. " Wilson's too nice, the cute radiology tech is a huge gossip, and Chase is the type to fall in love with me no matter how many times I ask him not to. That leaves you." By now he'd stopped trying to escape her, and they stood looking at each other in silence for a moment. "It's not a hard question, House: if you want me, here I am."

An hour later they were sitting on his couch. Star Wars was on TV, hot chocolate was on the stove, and a box of condoms was on the table. Cameron snuggled close to him, under his arm. "You know, there's something to be said for a Valentine's Day with no drama. No expectations, no possibility of getting hurt…"

He gave her a squeeze. "Welcome to my life."

She curled up a little further against his chest and kissed him. Within seconds they were making out with enthusiasm. She started groping him first, and he reciprocated. After a bit, she eased off him so that he could open his pants.

House could remember a time when nice girls hesitated to put it in their mouths, required a while of cajoling and hair-petting before the idea could be suggested… but fortunately Cameron was a newer model and plenty adventurous. She bent over his lap without hesitation, even holding her hair off her face as though she knew he'd want to watch.

Her mouth was wet and warm. House made a noise, which seemed to please her. She licked and smiled, flashed her eyes up to his and then started sucking in earnest.

He usually hated people who squirmed and breathed fuck every two seconds, but today he couldn't seem to help himself. She was good, and she was hot, and her throat vibrated around him every time she laughed at his whimpering. She was using one hand on his balls – skillfully. He gathered up all her hair for her and held it out of the way, so that she'd have the other hand free too. The sight of her on him was fucking phenomenal. It felt so good that at first he just lay back and let her work, but eventually he found himself guiding her up and down by the hair…but gently. She moaned and rubbed his balls to show that she didn't mind.

Just when he realized he'd soon have to decide whether it was impolite to come down her throat on the first date, a loud hissing came from the kitchen.

Cameron jumped up fast, ignoring his No! and headed for the kitchen. "Hot chocolate's boiling over," she realized. "You stay here."

When she got back, she found he had tried to make himself a little more presentable – his shoes were off and his cock back in his underpants. But the way he was watching her…

It was different than his usual pretend-lecherous staring. It was cool, almost amused. "Take them off," he said quietly, with a glance at her pants.

She shrugged and tried to match his tone. "Okay, hold this." She handed off her mug and then stripped for him, down to her underwear and tank top. He just sipped and watched.

She settled back down on the couch. While she got busy with her cocoa, House said: "You know, you are very good at that."

"Thanks." She flashed him a quick wicked smile. "I hope I'll be saying the same to you at some point…?"

House rose to the challenge, as usual. He put their drinks down on the table, and kissed her with authority. His hand went to her inner thigh and squeezed, then skimmed over the crotch of her panties. He didn't do more than tap and tease, not even with she spread her legs and arched up for him pleadingly. After a while she glared at him. "You don't need to be coy – we're not seducing me here…"

"No, but we are giving you a Valentine's Day fuck you'll remember. Scoot up." He pulled her hips to the edge of the couch, and knelt down on the floor.

That couldn't be comfortable for him, with the leg, but before she could say anything he'd pulled her panties aside and swiped her tongue over her clit roughly.

"House!" she gasped, sounding almost outraged.

His head came up at once, and he smirked at her while spreading her open with his hands. "Sorry – I thought for a second there you were getting impatient…"

He kept his eyes on her face while he pushed a finger inside her, then two. When he figured he had a read on her he sped up a little, rubbing the spot she liked best and bending down every now and again to lick at her.

She was soon flushed and panting, breathing his name and grabbing at his hair.

And he was damn smug about it. "How am I doing?" he asked innocently, three fingers twisting slow and deep inside her.

She gave a short breathless laugh. "Yeah," she gasped, urging with her hips for him to go faster. "Please…?" When he obliged she squeaked, then pressed her mouth closed as though embarrassed to make noise.

House sat up on the couch beside her, without removing his hand. "Go ahead, Cameron," he breathed into her ear. "Whatever you need."

He kissed her and touched her while she thrust up against his hand, rolling her hips until she found what she was looking for.

It turned out she was a loud one, like he'd always suspected.

Afterwards as she lay against him waiting for her heart to slow down, he broke the silence with: "This would be a good time to bust out with the praise and worship."

"You smug son-of-a-bitch," she laughed throatily. Her eyes opened just enough to shoot him a look, a look so hot it hurt. "It was great. And in a minute I'm going to screw your brains out."


I never do H/Cam, but it's actually turning out to be quite a lot of fun. I'm not sure whether I'm going to leave it here or write the rest…

Mleh, we'll see. If the muses speak to me up it goes. Otherwise, my next M-rated piece is a House/Wilson/Amber threeway. No, I am not kidding. Believe it or not it actually works without too much OOC-ness…

Leave me love!