A/N: I'm Edge-ing again. Be afraid. Be very afraid. Actually, apparently it's cool when I Edge it up, so maybe this will work.
This is a request-slash-birthday present for Kaitlyn aka Doulykhamsandwich. Yes, she is the one that I rant and rave about that story with. Again, this is what happens when people request things from me. If you would like one as well, don't be afraid to ask. I'm not some bitch like everyone thinks. I will rarely turn a fic down.
This is in kayfabe (yay for Spiffy!) so real life is nonexistent. Word.
The loud, rhythmic drums and guitar riffs…
The single pyrotechnics concussion…
The smoke rising from the stage, covering the entrance…
On this day…I see clearly…
The first figure seen is quite a sight to see hidden behind the smoke screen. As it clears, a tall man appears, pushing a very angry looking lady in a wheelchair. Her neck is bound with a neck brace. Not far behind those two are two more men who oddly look alike, even though they aren't brothers. They are wearing matching wrestling pants that don't even have their own names on them.
Everything has come to life…
The girls and children start booing.
The men start cheering.
The cheering outweighs the booing.
A bitter place…And a broken dream…And we'll leave it all behind
The next person to step out of the smoke screen seems to be the main attraction. The World Heavyweight Championship belt is slung casually over his right shoulder, and he has a microphone in his left hand.
On this day…It's so real to me…Everything has come to life…
Once everyone was in the ring, the five people stood in the ring, taking in the reaction from the crowd. The Edgeheads just stood there, admiring their leader. Teddy Long looked bored, and as if he wished he was elsewhere. Vickie Guerrero was staring at Edge with adoring eyes. Edge was the center of all attention, standing directly in the middle of the ring with Vickie in her wheelchair at his side.
Another chance to chase a dream…Another chance to feel, chance to feel alive…
The music cut, and the crowd was still mixed, with the cheers being louder than the boos and snarls. Edge turned around, giving a cocky look to the crowd. He was the shit, and he damn sure knew it.
"You people are in for a very special treat tonight. You get to hear the love of my life, Vickie Guerrero, make a very important announcement. So all of you jerk faces better show her the respect she deserves. After all, she is the General Manager of SmackDown," Edge said, bending down on one knee to get to Vickie's height. "Go ahead, Vickiekins." He held the microphone up to her mouth and she grasped her hand around his.
"Thank you, Edgie pie. I have an announcement to make. There is a new member of Team Guerrero. Unfortunately, Chavo couldn't be here tonight, seeing as he is still sick from that hooligan, CM Punk, rudely tossing him into the Gulf of Mexico." The crowd cheered at that remark. Some of the fans may have liked Edge, but no one really liked Chavo Guerrero because they all adored CM Punk. "Teddy, this doesn't concern you. Could you please go and fix me some coffee for when I come back?"
With a slightly angry look on his face, Teddy simply nodded and said, "Of course, Mrs. Guerrero." As he turned around, Teddy smiled and sighed, relieved that he no longer had to push that hag around on her wheelchair while he was bossed around like a dog.
"Anyways, back to my announcement. The new member of Team Guerrero is not related to any of us, but she shares the same philosophy as the rest of the Guerrero family. I decided that we needed more woman power in Team Guerrero. I just simply cannot do this by myself, although my darling Edge is a great support system for me." Vickie leaned over to Edge and they nuzzled noses before she continued on with her announcement. "After many hours of searching, I believe that we have found the right woman for the job. She is our new WWE Diva that I signed just this morning. I want you to treat her with the same respect that you would show me." The crowd's boos got louder as they traveled throughout the arena, the crowd just wanting to be defiant and spiteful. "She may look familiar to you, but looks can be deceiving. I can honestly tell you that she has never been in the WWE before. So here she is!"
A tall redheaded woman came out through the curtain. She was wearing a tight fitting "Rated R-Superstar" tank top and destroyed light blue jeans with a studded belt around her waist. A collective murmur of "Lita?" was running throughout the crowd. Once she walked into the ring, she stood on the other side of Vickie's wheelchair, opposite of Edge. "Honey, why don't you introduce yourself," Vickie said, taking the microphone from her boyfriend and handed it to the mystery woman.
It was now that the crowd could see that she resembled Lita, but didn't look much like her. It was mostly the hair and clothes that caused them to believe that. "My name is Kaitlyn. No, I am not Lita, because I am better than Lita ever was. She had to retire because she was afraid of the new competition that was coming in. I am dedicated to the service of Edge and Vickie. If anyone wants to get in their way, then they have to go through me. I may be a girl, but I'll kick anyone's ass on the roster."
Vickie called for the microphone back. "To prove it all to you people, Kaitlyn is going to prove it. I have a special match in order. Jamie, would you come down here, please?"
Jamie Noble's music hit, and he came down to the ring with an air of confidence. When he got in the ring, the Edgeheads rolled out. Jamie snatched the microphone from his boss. With his kind of southern accent, Jamie said, "Vickie, I knew you liked me. I'm so glad that you gave me this tune up match since I've been off lately."
Kaitlyn snatched the microphone back from him with an equal amount of rudeness that Jamie had used against her team leader. Imitating his voice in a cruel way, and oddly on target, Kaitlyn replied, "Well, look what we have here. It's Jamie! Jamie Noble!"
"Are you pickin' on me or something?"
"No, but I am going to pick you up and slam your ass down on the mat."
Vickie got the microphone back and said, "Referee, once I get out of this ring, call for the bell and start the match, please."
Edge stood up and shook Kaitlyn's hand. "Welcome to the family, Kaitlyn." He helped Vickie out of the ring and the bell rung.
Jamie wasn't afraid of beating up a girl…or at least trying to. He wanted to prove to Vickie that he could be an asset to the company. Besides, he just wanted Vickie to like him, but he didn't realize that she wouldn't like him if he beat her new team member. Jamie charged at Kaitlyn, but she reacted too quickly and gave him a rough hip toss. Jamie stood up and looked shocked that a girl just took him down. Kaitlyn drop kicked him in the face and retreated to the corner, bending down and grabbing the middle rope with one hand. When Jamie stood up, she gave him an Edge caliber Spear since she was on Team Guerrero, and everything wrestling wise in that team revolved around the leading man. Kaitlyn hooked Jamie's leg for the three count. The Edgeheads jumped in the ring celebrated with their new lady friend. Edge, however, stayed with Vickie on the outside of the ring so that she wouldn't have to waste time going back in the ring. Vickie slid her microphone under the ropes to Kaitlyn. She picked it up and said, "If anyone else wants to take me on, I'll gladly kick your ass, too. Take Jamie Noble as an example."
Michelle McCool's music played and she rushed down to help Jamie. When she found out that he was okay, she stood up and took the microphone out of Kaitlyn's hands. "That was really mean. You've been here one day and you're already acting like you own the damn place. You're no Trish Stratus."
Edge rushed over to where Justin Roberts was sitting and grabbed an extra microphone. "Hey, Michelle, get the hell out of here with your trailer trash boyfriend. You're way out of your league, darling. You can't even wrestle. Do you want to take Kaitlyn on? Because she'll willingly kick your ass for being so cheeky with her."
"Yes, I'd like to take her on next week."
"Then it's set. Better start planning her funeral, Jamie."
A/N: Before I get more hate mail, I LOVE LITA. She is my favorite Diva of all time. I only had her say those things because it's in her character to be conceited.