Welcome to the first (as far as I know) Discworld Message Board RPG!! If you are going to read this, please leave your insanity at the door and pick it up on the way out (though, why you'd want it back is beyond me) This was done by the good people at the Terry Pratchett Books message board, and they deserve all of the credit. For easier reading, the posts will be labeled so you know who's talking and when, the members are as follows (any not labled means that this is something that a subcharacter is doing):
Eskimo: played by Eskimo (E)
The Priest: played by Max aka helicopterpassoverhead (TP)
Gigio: played by Gigio the Guard (G)
Mrs Wizzard: played by Mrs Wizzard (me) (W)
Gaspodea: played by Jinzu (GP)
Mrs Pin: played by George:TheAllSeeing (MP)
Jeannie: played by Jeannie (JA)
Jake: played by Jake (JU)
Patrick: played by Thumpy (P)
Barrucadu: played by Barrucadu (B)
All other characters mentioned are a copyright of Terry Pratchett (the ones not owned by him were made up on a whim)
(Don't worry, our writing gets better as the story goes along, and since each chapter is so long, I'll update only once a week to give everyone the chance to finish reading them)s
(Also, thanks muchly to the boardies for letting me post our masterpiece -^_^-)
(E)
Greetings,
Uvunga C.M.O.T. Eskimo, i am an entrepenuer who believes that all may be bought or sold for a profit... well.. at least to sell at the break even mark... well... i will not go hungry as i can always eat what i sell...
*spit* *cough* hack *
note to self... never ever try to eat what you sell... ever...
i am new to the line of selling meat (well mostly meat... well mostly meat coloured... well... mostly cooked meat coloured... well...) onna bun* where i come from no one knows... not even me... but i will tell you this... i am a mystery to most (including myself) and that my first calling hasn't been trying to poiso... i mean feed the masses...
MEAAATTT ONNAAAA BUNNNNN 1/2 price... and i am cutting my own toe... believe me... (that just doesn't have the right ring to it... does it?!)
i have just arrived to the beautiful city of Ankh-Morpork and have met the lovely ...
*have since changed from a dwarf fighting bread to a less deadly pastry type... retalliation from customers hurt less this way
-----------------------------------
(TP)
Blessings be upon this, um, house. I am a Opportunist Religious Priest (points at various religious symbols on robe). In my spare time I sometimes help outg Death with his job. He has become like a second personality for me. Ask me anything, I know the answer! I have been everywhere, you name it! And the constant switching to the more powerful religiouns has granted me lots of wisdom and a new perspective upon Life. May the Great God Om bless you!
-----------------------------------------
(E)
I awake in a daze... never ever.. (this time listen!) eat your own product after drinking (especially after drinking!)... not even this weak looking imported clear beer... whats a FunnelWeb spider gots to do with beer any way..?
in the darkness i hear a moan... and turn to the sound... fumble in a pocket for a match... and interestingly enough I find one... wonders how many beer and meat inna bun I did have*...
quikly makes a mental and physical count of body parts... in case an igor found me and thought i was dead and still usuable... all present and accounted for. *phew*
in the glare of the weak match light... i notice across from me is a _______________
*does not want to remember the fact that I invented a new product... never wants to taste a seal pie flaoter again... esp. not today going the opposite direction!
--------------------------------------------------
(G)
Gigio is a guard of the city watch, who enquire "Do you need help? Aren't you C.M.O.T. Eskimo? I'm Gigio, learning to be a watchman under the training of Sgt. Colon and Cpl. Nobbs. By the way have you noticed any unlocked shop doors? I don't know why, but the Cpl. Nobbs always asks about them (must be a security thing)"
-------------------------------------------------
(E)
ahhh an officer of the watch... i have heard of them... are they to be avoided or should i get him to help me?
does the reason i am in this city require assistance...?
as i try to stand... the young guard reaches an arm out to steady me...
---------------------------------------------------
(W)
G'Day!
I am wife to the incompetent wizzard, Rincewind. As we *attempt* to stay in the city I earn my living by taste testing C.M.O.T. Eskimo's various things inna bun. How do I earn a living from this? Thanks to that incident with a big stick and a box of marbles, I have no feeling left in my own stomach. Thus, allowing me to street perform by eating Eskimo's stuff inna bun. People pay and wager on how many I can eat before it/me ends up a big mess all over. I split the money with Eskimo, (and by "split" I mean Eskimo gets off with most of it), and head for *home*. I watch as my employer is brought to his feet by a watch guard.
"Are you all right, sir?"
-------------------------------------------------------
(G)
All you all right Mr. C.M.O.T. Eskimo?
Have you heard that some bald monks on top of the Ramptop have a special recipe that can make edible almost anything?
I'm very keen on security by the way, when have you last update your ketchup & mustard? They seem quite old, at last try to patch them (with some vinegard?) you can run to the new shop in the corner 'dressingupdate' I think it was...
------------------------------------------------------------
(TP)
Blessings
be upon this ... house! I'm sure you're all pious, honest and
god-fearing folk? Of course you are, course you are! Well then, ahem
*reads some passages out of The Holy Book Of Om so fast, you cant
even understand a word.*
Phew! Now, I am sure some good,
law-abiding, generous
folk like you will be able to donate a few coins as a substitute for
my lack of breath. *stares
expectantly*
-------------------------------------------
(E)
the voice of the guard seems to be coming in clearer now...
ahh yes, the memories of the Funnelweb... never ever bet the taster of *fine* cuisine that you can eat more seal meat floater pies than she can... NEVER...
yes guard, i am fine, just let my assistant and yourself take me to the watch house... i am needing directions to the Post,,, i am expecting a parcel. i have a new ingredient coming in from Lancre!
onwards Mrs. Wizzard, and do give some coins to the beggar! what, no coinage left, well then give him some free samples of our fine wares!!
---------------------------------------------------------------
(W)
Here you are, beggar. *drops a piece of unidentifiable meat into the begging cup*
Shall we be off, then? *follows the guard and
Eskimo down the road*
----------------------------------------------
(G)
Here you are, mr. Eskimo, Aly the postwoman is due to pass in a few minutes, you can ask her if she got your parcel, or you can follow her to the postoffice.
Mrs. wizzard, may I ask you how you know that your husband is going to be back, when you see him sprinting away at that speed? Are you as fast as him?
---------------------------------------------------------
(W)
After all of the things that we've run away from together I can catch up to him pretty easily. And Ankh-Morpork is our homeland. He'll do everything he needs to do in order to get back. And right now he's just running away from a drunken mob. He probaly said something that he shouldn't have said in the Drum. Nothing new, he should lose them in nothing over 15 minutes.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
(GP)
"Damn!" I peer surreptitiously at the group that currently walks down the street towards the watchhouse, my body pressed tightly against the wall. "What the hell do i do now?!"
I sniff at the air and take in the sharp, pungent smell that emanates from C.M.O.T. Eskimo. I bite my lowerlip, revealing canine teeth. Mhm..i will have to fill my belly before i decide what i should do next...and my canine senses tell me that food is only a watchwatch house away...i peer hungrily at the bit of meat that dangles invitingly from Eskimo's pocket. Yum...i begin to follow them...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
(TP)
*The
priest follows Mrs Rincewind, Eskimo and Guard with a totally
innocent expression on his
face*
------------------------------------------------
(W)
*peers behind* *nudges C.M.O.T. Eskimo*
Uh..Eskimo? *signals behind us*
That girl's following us.
--------------------------
(E)
throw
aside the meat and run for it! the other ones got SHARP
TEETH...
-------------------------------------
(TP)
*Hides in alley, takes out holy water of Offler, just in case*.
----------------------------------------
(GP)
I stared at the hurrying figures with annoyance and disbelief. "What the heck..even in this bloody form..." I rushed towards the lump on meat on the floor and held it lovingly in my hands.
"Dang
wizard..." I mumbled under my breath, gnawing at my prize. The
wizard had taken off immediately after a close up look of my face,
yelling "Bloody hell!". I had risked looking at my
reflection in the puddle of rain water on the cobbles, and had
thought: 'Amateur
wizard...'
--------------------------------------------------------
(W)
*starts running and turns around* Hm..you'd think at least the watchman would be able to keep up. *sees husband running from the Thieve's Guild out for training. shakes head and slows down as Guard and Eskimo catch up* Here, this should speed you two up. *pulls out a small bag of powder from contents of robe and throws it on them* I never said I was a failed wizard.
---------------------------------
(TP)
Oh
no, a dead end! And the wol...dog-woman is right behind me, savagely
devouring a lump of meat! Its gonna be me next! Best act now, while
shes off guard. *does holy horns sign*.
,,Perish, ghastly
Netherdog! *sprays with holy
water*
-------------------------------------------
(GP)
"Gah! What the heck!" I turned around swiftly and found myself facing a priest.
"Excuse me! Nearly all of my life I've spent without a bath..(mumble..ok sure there that point in time in 'Men at arms' where i did get one..mumble) and some priest tries to give me one?! What heck did you think you were doing?!"
---------------------------------------------------
(TP)
Do
not think you can fool me, foul netherbeing! Your foul lies will not
draw me into the Dark Side! Your foul temptations wil not
succeed!
*looks for second bottle of holy
water*
------------------------------------------------------
(E)
*sniffs the powder bag handed to me by the lady wizzard... oh no... super sneezing powder* both giglo and i look at the grinning wizzard wife (who is one herself apparently) while she faces us in the direction we were just running from... "get ready!" she yells while seemingly lining our rear ends up for some complicated triple-bank human pool shot!
"to the left, to the left" the guard screams as i feel the sneeze develop deep inside of me.. "to the left or its the shades for usssCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo............."
the lady wizzard soon realizes that travelling as a passenger powered by sneezes is not the best (or hygenic) way to go.
i hear the guard moan in desperation as we bounce off the rimwards wall of the guard house and continue a maddening arc towards the heart of the shades...
---------------------------------------------------
(W)
*hits a pole in the center of the shades* OOF! "Damn, I've really gotta start labeling my pouches of powder. I thought that was my speed powder, not my get-yer-enimies-to-sneeze-themselves-away powder." *turns and sees Eskimo and the guard upside down and against a wall* "Damn!" they shout in unison. "Oh, get over it." *helps them up* "You didn't hit that hard. And it's only the shades. Do you know how many times that I've been chased into here? C'mon, we might as well get a drink in the tavern while we're here. And, Eskimo, do try and pull that troll head off of the guard, will you?" *turns and leads them into the tavern*
--------------------------------------------------------
(GP)
*raises hands in front of me in defence* Hey, hey, watch it! What dark side are you talking about?? Only the males do that sniffing to the females where the sun don't shine..and damn! I appear to be of the female persuasion at the moment i believe..bloody ugly one though, so i think you are safe from any temptations you might have..listen, do you think you could bring me to one of your wizard friends..only i saw you with this she wizard..and you know, women are more sympathetic with girls and all..I said put that bottle away and i need her to change me back to a dog again..only don't tell her i'm really male..and do you also happen to have any bits of meat with you?
-----------------------------------------------------------
(MP)
"My dear... um... girl. If you are need of medical attention why don't you come see my husband?"
My name is Georgina Pin, I'm a retired seamtstress and have since taken up needlework. In fact that was how I met my husband, Igor. We run a family business now.
-------------------------------------------------------
(GP)
*jumps in surprise* erm..not so much as a miracle ma'am..*looks at Georgina suspiciously* 'You sure you've retired as a seamstress? I mean..you ain't trying to force me into your guild are you..cause i've heard it ain't just sewing they do there..mumble mumble? Only that i'm really a dog, and no really, i am..wait a minute..you don't look surprised! Bloody wizard..well, it's either someone changes me back, or an extreme makeover from Igor for me...'
--------------------------------------------------------------
(G)
meanwhile
in the tavern...
What are we doing in the 'troll head' in the
shades... I'm going to have my uniform ruined... and you know how
much it takes to sew a rip, in the back, large like a medium throwing
knife blade... and it's really hard to find a 'real' seamstress these
days... can we leave...? now... please... PLEASE....
---------------------------------------------------------------
(W)
*hiccup*
"Dn't worry, G'gio. The p'ple 'ere know mee. They ain't gunna
hurt ya s'long as I'm 'round." *takes another sip of beer* "And,
Esk'mo, I just wunna tell you, yer meat inna, inna bun, alm'st tastes
like real meat." *turns* "....Okay, Gigigio, if yer gonna
*hic* turn inta two spinnin' people I guess we can go." *gets up
and sways in her spot* "Let's
go."
--------------------------------------------------------------
(E)
*spins*
whoa...
if i keep drinkin' like that we will end up where i started... dang
Wizards... who needs a library and L space... want to time travel...
some good ol Funnel web will do it... just gets u so
Knurd...
stagerring out thru the night... elbowing the guard...
now... where is the watch house again?
-----------------------------------------------------
(MP)
No, no, dear. I used to be seamstress, now I'm a... needlewoman. If you'd like to meet Igor - oh woops,I mean Igor, my husband he tends to hang around the Troll's Head this time of night, he gets good business there.
*takes the .. girl by the arm and steers her towars the TH*
What was your name again dear?
---------------------------------------------------------
(GP)
"Whoa! Uh..right, my name's Gaspode..no wait...uh..i mean, Gaspodea! Right! Gaspodea!"
*gets dragged along by Georgina*
"Your husband's Igor...uh sorry i mean "Igor", did you say? Got lots of spare meaty bits does he then?" *hangs out tongue subconsiously and begins to salivate*
----------------------------------------------------------------
(G)
I never tought we were leaving the shades alive..
But out we are
mr. Eskimo, now we just have to pass these two menacing
trolls...
They seems to be very angry.... did you sell them
something mr. Eskimo?
Hello guys... Sgt. Detritus send his
salutations... and may be here soon to give them personally (I hope
so...)
You are really good at looming... what a shining
smiles...
Mrs Wizzard, have you an invisibility spell around
yourself? Just asking... Just asking...
what about a teleporting
device? It's just not my lucky day than...
Capitain Carrot always says that in most cases violence can be avoided (I'd like to know 'HOW'). What's the hell you sold them Mr. Eskimo???
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
(W)
Oh, boy. *roots around in robe again and produces another small pouch* Be'r 'ope this one works. *throws powder on herself and shakes her head* Wow, I got the sobering powder right this times. *pulls out yet another pounch and inspects the powder inside* Okay, this is defineately the teleportation powder. *throws poweder on them and all three disappear and reappear outside of the watch house* Looks like I spilled some on the ground back at the tavern. No matter, only enough to teleport a couple of humans. Not nearly enough for trolls.
-------------------------------------------------------
(E)
thankfully that sobering powder sprinled on me a lil... whew!
*looks up to the guard house*
finally... i am here... now where is that post girl with my package!? it holds a vital part of my mission here! oops.. i guess it is now our mission eh guard and Mrs wizzard?!
*enters the watch house behind the guard*
--------------------------------------------------------
(MP)
*Now standing outside the Troll's Head with Gaspodea*
Huh, that's odd *looks around* Igor must have gone somewhere else. Sorry, Gaspodea. I suppose we could try the Drum... Oooh! What's that shiny powder down there?
*I scoop up the powder lying in the gutter
outside the pub and throw it over me and Gaspodea. Suddenly we are
outside
_________*
------------------------------------------------------
(GP)
"The Watch house? Oh great! Wait till Angua sees me in my new get-up...mumble mumble..just when i thought i couldn't appear less appealing in front of her..."
*sniffs the air*
"Some people were just here recently...i smell the female wizard! Hey, she's been here...*sniff, sniff* and she's in the watch house! We have got to get in there, Georgina! She might be able to change me back!"
--------------------------------------------------------
(G)
...and that sargent, is all about our today's adventures..
*Mrs Pin enters followed by Gaspodea*
Good day Mrs. Pin have you taken
an assistant?
an... 'intresting' girl... a little skinny, but a
good personality, I'm sure... and what a beautiful smile (Although,
must do something about the breath, I must add)
Have you seen Aly the postwoman? She wasn't here for the last mail delivery and she is always so precise... I hope nothing bad happened to her (It seems she was carring a precious item for mr. C.M.O.T. Eskimo here...)
--------------------------------------------------------------
(W)
Yeah,
and if Eskimo here doesn't get his package his buisness could be
ruined. And if his buisness is ruined I would have to go back to
doing parlor tricks *shudders at thought* to random people on the
street to make money. *notices strange girl* Er..Mrs. Pins, it seems
your assistant is having..er..flea
troubles?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
(GP)
*looks about myself* "Flea troubles? Yeah, it's troublin' alright. I had twice as many fleas in the past...this is pathetic! I swore i'd never be clean like this again...er..wait a minute, you're the female wizard right? You can help me, yes?"
*scratches behind
my ear absently, causing the people about me to draw
away*
---------------------------------------------------------
(MP)
Gaspodea
here is hoping for a ... new look. Maybe you could help her a little
more than I could, Mrs Rincewind? My skills as a needlewoman can only
go s far.
------------------------------------------------
(GP)
*glares
at Georgina* "Yeah right, i don't have feelings at all..just a
common dog by the street, hanging out by lonesome self and all..
humans
*rolls eyes*..just turn me back into a dog, alive preferably, and i
won't be a bother..poor old me..whine bl**dy
whine."
------------------------------------------
(W)
Yeah, I figured you weren't really a human. *snaps fingers and her staff appears in her hand* I almost made Ridcully cry by being able to do that. Anyway, *clears throat* Animas Changious Caninious! *purple light emerges from staff and hits Gaspodea who morphs back into a dog*....*reaches into robe and gives Gaspodea a biscuit out of an uncontrollable urge* There ya go, little doggie.
---------------------------------------------------
(GP)
*yaps
happily* "I'm back to normal again! Er...woof woof?
D*mn...*hastily* er it's just a side effect of being a human! Woof,
woof? Give the doggie another
biscuit?"
---------------------------------------------------
(G)
WOW That was a trick I never saw before.. (excluding during the full moon when Corporal Angua is about) a girl turning in to a dog, or better reverted to a dog...
How are you mrs. wizzard? do you need to
lay down? I know real magic can make you really tired... do you want
something to eat? Mr eskimo may be has got something suitable...
Or
Corporal Nobby can give you the 'mouth to mouth brathing' thing... He
wolud like so much... When we tried with the dummy when Nobby
approached the dummy run away...
----------------------------------------------------------------
(W)
*wobbles a little* Corporal Nobbs? Um, no thanks I think I'll be fine. *shudders* Um, the post woman hasn't been seen in a while. Perhaps, she left the package in the post box?
-----------------------------------------------------------------
(E)
wakes from a hypnotic gaze as if someone was trying to enter my mind... shakes head and shudders...
"no... never again foul fiend... i will never do your bidding..."
*takes off rather thick and furry looking jacket... rips lining and removes a small parcel wrapped in cloth...*
looking at his 2 new friends... " i am sorry to decieve you... i am noty really a purveyor of fine foods... i really am an officer of the watch, bback in my home country, i have chassed an assasin here. i believe that his brother was recently incarcerated by mr Vimes... i think his name was carcer... his brothers name is Farcer..."
*Eskimo proudly shows his new friends his highly polished miniature shield... his watch badge!*
--------------------------------------------------------------
(W)
*looks blank*....Damn! Talk about your plot twist. So, does this mean we can't keep conning people into buying cheap food for stupid bets that I always win? *looks down* ....And can I keep the doggie?
-----------------------------------------------
(GP)
*looks
at Mrs Rincewind* "Woof woof, take me with you, woof woof, this
cute little doggie can't speak, woof woof, and he could use another
one of your
biscuits..woof?"
-----------------------------------------------------
(W)
*gives Gaspodea another biscuit* You're so cute!" *kneels down and cuddles Gaspodea*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
(GP)
*munches the biscuit desperately* "Mm..woof woof!"
------------------------------------------------------------------
(MP)
Huh,
I tune out for a few minutes and this is what happens; my companion
is transformed and becomes someone's pet and the vender of fine...
edibles is really a watch officer?
Well, does anyone have any work
that they need a needlewoman for? (great line, that)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(GP)
*glances
sympathetically at Georgina and whispers to her* "It must have
been the history monks at work..haven't you heard of the famous line:
"Where did all the time go?
Er..woof!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
(W)
*gets
up* Well, now that's been dealt with, what do we do
now?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
(TP)
AHA! I found...*hic* you guysh! *waves beer bottle* Thatsh not nishe, runnunnunning 'wai ... like that! After all...we gotta go shlay... the badgerer....er.. dragon! Yersh! A Quest to shave mankinds! Wheee... *colllapses*
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(E)
an eveil hiss is heard as if someones discovered how to launch an irate rattle snake at terminal velocity...
eskimo staggers... holding his shoulder... blood oozes from between his fingers...
"its...it... Farcer... get him..."
eskimo staggers to the cobbles in front of the watch house...
he presses his badge to the palm of the young guard...
with his other hand... he desperatly tries to show the group that he has signed his igor doner card...
------------------------------------------------------------
(W)
*stares even blanklier* "....Damn. I open my mouth and, the next thing I know, a drunken priest and my employer are on the floor. Well, Gigio, I guess we should, for goodness sake, Mrs. Pin, he's not dead yet! I guess we should bandage him up and keep him in a spare room here. *picks up Eskimo*
*One hour later....*
*closes door to spare room behind me* "Well, he's patched up and asleep now. For now, I suggest we go and try to stop that assasin." *turns around* "And I think that we should take Mrs. Pin with us before she dismantles Eskimo like a model dragon. How's the drunk one, Gigio?"
------------------------------------------------------------
(G)
Mrs
Wizzard haven't you got any of that sobering powder left?
I'd hate
to left the priest here in the cell now, we have no time to fill a
report... The trail is still hot, and when Commander Vimes is going
to know that a cop has been
wounded...
-----------------------------------------------------
(W)
*throws sobering powder on the priest* "I'm gonna go fetch a cup of water. Be right back." *walks down the hall in the direction of the kitchen*
*A few moments later....*
"Hm..I was sure the kitchen was this wa--OOF! Oh, sorry, sir, I should have watched where I was goi--Oh, crud, not you."
IS THAT ANY WAY TO GREET SOMEONE?
"Yeah, not too many people are really happy to cross paths with Death. What're you doing here, anyway?"
OH, I'M HERE BECAUSE OF THAT *points behind me*
"Huh?" *turns around* "Oh, damn...." *collapses with knife in arm* "Rrgh..w-well?"
WELL, WHAT?
*weakly clutches arm* "I-I just got s-stabbed. Ain't ya s'pose to c'llect my s-soul or s-something?"
YOU'RE NOT DEAD YET. I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL YOU'VE COMPLETELY DIED, FIRST
"I-I'm not givin' up that eezly." *faints*
--------------------------------------------------------------
(G)
Mrs
Wizzard... what...
MRS. PIN HELP!! Can you sew her, or find your
husband and let him help her???
Here!!! How they dare!!! Vimes would go spare!!! He's gonna really go spare!!!
-----------------------------------------------------
(TP)
Here, Im sure that for a voluntary donation to the church I could patch the wizzard-lady up with some of this blessed holy-water healing wossname! *raises eyebrows expectantly*
-----------------------------------------------
(W)
*standing over own body with Death*
"Hmm..Well, does this mean I'm dead?"
TECHNICALLY, NO. YOU'RE JUST UNCONCIOUS.
"Then why am I in this transparent, no-one-can-see-me form?"
EVERYONE HANDLES COMAS IN A DIFFERENT WAY.
"S'pose there's no harm in that. So, how long do I have left, anyway?"
*Death pulls out a life timer* OH, YOU'VE GOT SOME TIME LEFT.
*shrugs
and leans against a
wall*
---------------------------------------------
(MP)
*sniffs*
Pew! Who poured malt whiskey all over the wound? Drunken Priest,
I am looking in your direction.
*looking over the body*
Well,
she doesn't look good... Gigio, is there a clean
table or bench where we could put her?
No?
Relatively clean you say? Well it'll have to do. Incidently, how does someone get stabbed in a watch house ? Tsk tsk.
*lifts the wizard up with the help of Gigio and
carries her to the reltively clean table in the cafeteria*
Don't
worry, Mrs Rincewind, you just need a little patch up. You'll be on
your feet in no time.
-------------------------------------------------------------
(W)
"At least her husband isn't coming in." *follows group into cafeteria* "If it wasn't for that damn assasin sneaking around this place I wouldn't be in this condition..Ugh..I didn't even know I had that much blood in my body." *turns head away from scene* "Hmm?" *notices Death has gone and looks blank* "Great....I've been talking to myself for the past ten minutes...." *shakes head and waits to wake up*
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
(G)
Well Mrs. Pin your stitches are very good... but was really necessary to embroid "Don't take this towel home, it belongs to the Riviera Hotel" all across the wound???
Anyway the blood has stopped flowing and she is no more in danger of dying...
-----------------------------------------------------------------
(TP)
All praise the Great God Om for his healing powers! But he is angered because of your lack of faith! a small donation would fix the problem..
-----------------------------------------------------------
(W)
*snaps to conciousness and sits up* "...." *recalls the last half hour* "AHH! We gotta get that assasin before he tries to kill anyone else!" *looks at wound* "And why am I now labled as a towel belonging to some hotel!?...." *pays priest to stop chanting*
-------------------------------------------------------------------
(MP)
Well it seemed a waste not to use the ret of the string... Wait, did you say assasin?! Surely it was a mistake? Why would an assasin be here?
-----------------------------------------------------------
(W)
"....Were
you listening when Eskimo explained the whole thing? Oh, well.."
*takes a few moments and explains everything to Mrs. Pin* "So,
now we have to catch Farcer before he tries to kill anybody else. So,
where should we start on this
case?"
------------------------------------------------------
(G)
I've looked in the records we have on criminals, It seems that the guys come from Sto Lat and there are four different brothers...
Carcer
(must be in the cell)
Darcer (unknow)
Earcer (unknow)
and
last but not least Farcer (who was involved in Eskimo's enquire)
(no big amount of fantasy for names in the parents)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
(W)
"Hmm..These records come with iconographs..This one! Darcer! He's the one who attacked me. They must be looking for the where Carcer is. Farcer's running around somewhere, too, with the other two. I put a spell on Eskimo's room so no one can penetrate it. Not even through the windows. But first we have to check with the Assassins' Guild to see if they've got the proper membership and liscence."
---------------------------------------------------------------
(MP)
What
imaginative parents they must have had to be given names like
that.
*sighs*
I've never liked the Assasins' Guild, my fingers
itch whenever I walk past. Still, if we must...
*follows Mrs.
Rincewind and Gigio out of the Watch house*
----------------------------------------------------------
(W)
*walking up to the Assassin's Guild door* "For the last time, priest, I don't care if Blind Io needs glasses, so stop begging me. And put that holy water away! Gaspodea isn't a demon. *sigh* C'mon, let's just get this over with." *knocks on door*
-------------------------------------------------------------------
(TP)
Let
me handle this madam as an excuse for my earlier mistakes and
innapropriate behaviour! *assassin opens door* Good day! I.. HA!
*sprays holy water into eyes of asssassin* *dramatically* The triumph
of faith! *kicks assassin in the unmentionables* Proceed, brothers!
oh, and
sisters!
----------------------------------------------------------
(W)
"....What the hells have you been smoking, priest!? These people can legally kill us! You can't just walk up to someone who's allowed to kill you and kick him like that! Ye gods, I hope that guy is just a client." *helps the man up* "I'm really sorry, sir, it's just that-*man's hood falls back*- Vetinari!?"
-------------------------------------------------
(TP)
*Pulls hood over head, hides behind George:The Allseeing*
-------------------------------------------------------
(G)
I've just remembered my patrol turn is going to start in just about 3 hours ago...
Ok... Ok, we will try to sort this mess, first!
I
just hope he will not be 'ironic' about what just happened.
You must have really surprised him, I can't think a reason why the patrician want to be hitted in the unmentionables by a drunk priest... unless...
THIS IS NOT THE PATRICIAN
is just a mask and not really good, without the hood you can notice it.
*removing the mask*
this man is Earcer one of the brothers, bind him with your 'holy rope of penance' we must discover what he was doing here disguised as Vetinari...
I've better send a pigeon to the watch house.
have anyone of you seen my pigeon???
--------------------------------------------------
(W)
"Ooh!
Ooh! I got it!" *removes hat and chants magic words* *reaches
into hat and produces Gigio's pigeon* "I've always wanted ta do
that" *smiles*
-------------------------------------------------
(TP)
Oh and Im not drunk, Mrs Rincewind was so kind to sober me up with some pagan sobering up magic.
-------------------------------------------------------------
(G)
Let me tie this message for Commander Vimes to the pigeon's leg, he must be warned of the danger from the brothers...
*release the pigeon that flies away*
Have you Mr. priest bound his hands to the pole of the 'absolute no parking your cart, no you can't even for 5 minutes' signal, in a secure way?
We better try to speak
with Sir Downey...
but I don't think the brothers are associates,
they have no style, and also some years ago they killed 19 people,
because they left the exact description of the victim home and are
known to have killed not only without being payed , but also without
any apparent reason
----------------------------------------------------------------
(TP)
Yessir, bound up the sinner, sir, have also blessed the ropes for more protection sir. May God Bless you sir and I am sure that the Watch is inclined to reward such law-abiding citizens like me for theyre brave deeds with a small donation..
---------------------------------------------------------------------
(W)
"Okay, Priest and Mrs. Pin, you stay here and watch Earcer. Gigio, you come with me. We need to talk to Lord Downey..Plus, I'm a total coward and would like some protection." *smiles innocently*
*walks
inside Assasin's
Guild*
---------------------------------------------------------
(G)
It
is almost an hour that we wait for lord Downey...
I hope in the
meantime someone from the watch come to collect Earcer... the priest
is a good fellow and his rope was strong and very blessed...
but...
*summoned to the head assassin presence*
So my lord you assure us that the brothers have absolutely no connection with the guild...
I see from the record they were discharged
from the guild school for usless cruelty to animals...
They also
failed the 'inhume ONLY the target, without destroy a large part of
the city' test...
Mrs. Wizzard we better see about the
prisoner and be back to the yard...
Thank you for your time, my
lord, I know how much busy you are...
I almost forgot, have
you any clue about the presence of Earcer deguised as the Patrician
inside the
guild?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(W)
Lord Downey shook his head grimly. "I'm afraid not. He came in and tried to steal away with out weap--sorry 'assasination tools' when I caight him and commanded that he remove his mask. He turned around and made a break for the door. He would have gotten away if your wizard friend here hadn't bumped into him and knoced him out." He got up to show Mrs. Wizzard and Gigio out. Opening the door he turned to the pair. "By the way, may I know the names of our saviors of the day?"
"My name is Gigio," said the guard.
"I am Mrs. Wizzard." Lord Downey looked blank.
"..May I ask what your first name is?" he inquired.
Mrs. Wizzard looked a bit startled by the question. "..First name?"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
(G)
What we have until now...
We know there are four brothers... One is in the jail waiting for the trial (Carcer), the second one (Darcer) was last seen when he assaulted you (Mrs. Wizzard), the third (Earcer) must be still o/utside with the now sober priest (hopefully still tied to the pole) and was here on mission to recover some weaponary (will this be true???), the last brother was involved in some investigation that was made by Eskimo.
Well Mrs Wizzard let us join the priest and the prisoner...
--------------------------------------------------------------
(W)
*laughs nervously* "Yes, let's get off the subject of my first name, and go check on those three." *ruses oustide and sees everything is, thankfully, exactly how they left it*
-------------------------------------------------------
(G)
Here they are Constable Visit and Sargent Detritus with the cart to collect the prisoner...
Visit just filled the beggin bowl of the priest with his phamplets, I hope that will not start a war of religions...
Luckyly Detritus has the custody of Earcer, removed the pole from the street and loaded the cart with the prisoner like it was a 'pig on a spit'
-----------------------------------------------------
(TP)
*shouts
at visit in uncrompehensible language, gesturing wildly; sees Mrs
Wizzard and Gigio* Greetings, i am sure the generous Lord Downey has
given you a small donation for me...er...my god, for I am sure you
didnt forget to mention my...um...gods valuable help in capturing the
vile evil
villain!
--------------------------------------------------------------
(W)
*rolls
eyes and saerches recesses of robe* *produces tuppence and drops into
begging bowl* "Now, that that matter is settled, we should
really get back to the Watch house. I imagine that Darcer is still
stalking around there looking for Carcer."
*hops onto cart*
"Well, c'mon guys, we might as well take the fast way back to
the Watch
house."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
(G)
We are back to the watch house, the place was searched from top to bottom, but there was no trace of Darcer...
*Gigio takes some coin from the tea cash and put them in the beggin bowl*
Thanks
for your help Mr. priest...
(so now he will not beg for whole two
minutes!)
Sergent Detritus is questioning the prisoner...
"YOU
DONE IT! GIVE UP! WE KNOW YOU DONE IT!"
May be he will be
more effective when Earcer wakes up...
---------------------------------------------------------------
(W)
*scribbles on makeshift check list* "Lesse, now...." *reads off list*
Carcer: captured
Earcer: captured
Darcer:
supposdly sumware on premisis (last seen inn thee hallway)
Farcer:
free inn thee streets (last seen outside of thee Watch
house)
--------------------------------------------------------
(G)
*returning
in the room*
There are news Mrs. Wizzard, tomorrow there will
be a meeting to start the trial for Carcer...
Commander Vimes
thinks it can be used to set a trap for the remaining brothers.
The
watch will be on 'guard'. We will have Colon & Nobby at the gate
being obvious and seeming to be the only cops looking at the people
caming in.
Vimes and Carrot are going to be present officially for
the trial (also is very difficoult to make them 'invisible' they are
too well known).
Many other cops will be placed in plain-clothes
between the people that will assist to the trial and outside the
courtroom.
There are any way your talents can help us?
Some
binding spells will be nice...
----------------------------------------------
(W)
"Hm..binding
spells? Lesse what I can find...." *reaches into the endless
recesses of her robe and rummages around* *muttering to herself,*
"Hm..sequens, cards, spray on wossname, fly paper - hey, where'd
my giant mutant, fly go? Oh, well - ....Ah, here we are"
*produces a small leather bound book titled Ayncient
Magik Spells Ande Wossnames*
*flips rapidly through the pages* "....Here we go, now. Yes, I
have some spells in here that should be efficient. It's getting
rather late. Gigio, would this place happen to have anymore spare
rooms? I saw my husband running out of town before we got back. He
shouted something to me about not being back for a couple 'a
days...."
------------------------------------------------------------------
(G)
Yes, there is a spare room, is the second on the left Cherry used it as a lab sometimes, so be carefull, check that the bed is free and that the air is back to breatheable...
I'll be up and about, if you need me just ask to the deskman
goodnight
----------------------------------------------------
(W)
"G'night Gigio," Mrs. Wizzard walks into the room to find it, on the contrary, to actually be quite an inhabitable place. It was a bit of a mess. She liked it. It gave the room a homey feel to it. Mrs. Wizzard flops onto the bed and pulls the brim of her pointy hat over her eyes. Quickly, she falls asleep. Just by looking at her, you could tell it was not easy to wake her up. She slept so soundly that a thunderstorm couldn't stir her. The wizzard moves gently in her sleep as a dream drifts into her head....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile the two remaining free brothers are preparing for the trial...
Farcer: Earcer, was almost out of the guild, when he was catched from a watchman and some others interfering B******S!
Darcer: One of them was that female magician (how that can be! Magic and women dosen't mix well, everybody know that) that I stabbed in the watchouse. Next time I'll have to kill her.
Farcer: Don't fret brother, we'll have other chances.
Let's talk about tomorrow, surely the watch will be present and I
want no surprises.
Was Earcer able to do all before he was
arrested?
Darcer: Yes. We are now able to do as we like, we have the man word.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
(W)
Mrs.
Wizzard stirs. She sits up and lifts up her hat's brim. Rubbing her
eyes, she peers at the clock on the wall. 5 o'clock in the morning.
Mrs. Wizzard staggers to the full length mirror, and looks herself,
up and down. Perhaps she should dress a bit nicer for the trial.
"Nah, what's a wizard without her robes, anyway?" Deciding
she looks good enough, she sits on her bed, pulls out a book, and
reads as the dim morning light spills in from the
window.
---------------------------------------------------------------
It's
seven in the morning, Ron and his friends are selling the Times of AM
in the streets and the trial for Carcer got the headline. AM's
citizens are heading for the courthouse, they aren't missing a good
show. CMOT Dibbler is on the plaza in front of the courtouse selling
his goods (or better he is trying to sell his higly suspicious
sausages in a bun). The watchmen are watching, sgt Colon and cpl
Nobbs are at the main entry and have at last both eyes open, some
gargoyls are on the roofs around the plaza, others cops are around
less evident, but also watchfull.
Cmdr. Vimes and cpt. Carrot are
entering the building giving a nod to the VVW (Very Visible Watchmen)
---------------------------------------------------------------------
(W)
"That
was fun, guys, but I've gotta go now. See ya later, Dibbler."
Mrs. Wizzard enters the courthouse, leaving many a groaning man and a
very happy looking Dibbler, holding a small wad of money in his
hands, behind. Supressing a burp, she spots Gigo and takes her seat
next to him, on the prosecuting ((or defending, I have no idea)) side
of the court room. Out of the corner of her eye she thinks she sees
something moving in the shadows, but quickly dimisses this suspision
as the trial
begins.
---------------------------------------------------------
The
trial is on... Carcer isn't cooperating at all, he dosn't want to be
hanged it seems.
The Judge General is listening with a big grin in
his face. He is happy when he sees the opportunity to hang someone.
(and he also get some percentage of Mr Dibbler profit for such
occasions) In AM they have introduced lawyers only recently and only
cause they are nastier than the mob, when there is a trial, but for
now the people in the hall is listening with interest at the list of
Carcer's crimes.
Suddenly there is an empy space where Carcer was
till a minutes ago and then the real mess starts.
Some people the
ones in the front rows try to flee outside, others, the ones in the
back want to see what's happening and try to go forward, most of the
watchmen are blocked from the sheer mass of citizens.
---------------------------------------------------------------
(W)
"Ohsh**ohsh**ohsh**ohsh**!" Mrs. Wizzard frantically tries to follow Gigio out of the courthouse but loses site of him in the mass hysteria once she gets outside. Quickly, she tries to escape the crowd but nearly chokes as she is grabbed by the neck of her robes. She's dragged into an alley and sees the faces of Farcer and Darcer. Mrs. Wizzard tries to scream but a sack is quckly shoved over her head and her hands are bound behind her back. Struggling to escape, she flails her legs before being hit over the head and knocked out....
*Later*
Mrs. Wizzard wakes up to find the sack has been removed but she is now bound to a chair in a dark room. In the darkness she can just barely make out the faces of the two brothers. She's so frightened, that she is temporarly at a loss for words....
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(G)
After that most part of the people escaped from the hall Gigio emerged from the some overturned benches, Vimes and Carrot are on the spot where Carcer was and Gigio quickly join them.
Gigio: What happened here Commander?
Vimes: We don't know yet. But I'm gonna to find, damn it, I smell burning, if this was an inside job there will be 'consequences' I can tell you
Carrot looking down: There is something here on the floor, but I cannot smell anything strange Commander, if you want I can fetch Angua, you know she can smell very well
Vimes sighing looks closely to the floor, takes a dagger from its armor and carefully insert it between two boards on the floor
Vimes: don't worry about your nose Capitain, help me here.
There is a 'boing' from a spring and a square of darkness opens itself on the floor
Vimes, inserting his head on the hole: A trapdoor! There are tunnels here, they can lead anywhere in the city
Carrot: I will go with Gigio looking into the tunnels, you have to check the last brother on the watch house Commander, I fear they also tried to free him
Gigio: I was with Mrs. Wizzard I hope nothing bad happened to her
Carrot: No time for that now, Let search the tunnel
----------------------------------------------------------------
(W)
Mrs. Wizzard sturggles to get free as she mutters the famous line for a captive to say.*
"You'll never get away with this!" Farcer approaches her.
"Come on, now," he says. "We thought you'd be quite happy to see us, Ma-"
"I told you to never call me that ever again!"
"You've gotten quite touchy since last time," says Darcer. "Didn't you miss us?"
"You tried to kill me, you b*****d!"
"Tried. Failed. Formulated a new plan."
"You wouldn't!"
"Oh, yes. That guard is bound to come looking for you, eventually. And when he does, we'll be waiting. Until then, enjoy yourself." Mrs. Wizzard tries to scream again but a piece of duct tape is slapped over her mouth.
"Mhh Mh Mhh Mh Mhhmhh!"
*Mrs. Wizzard has always been one for the classics
-----------------------------------------------------
(G)
Carrot
and Gigio are searching the tunnels under the courthouse.
Carrot:
There is a lot of 'mud' the track are easy to follow
Gigio: I hope
no new 'mud' will came, the place is already stinking, I didn't know
AM got a sewer system
Carrot: some of this tunnels are really
ancient, how very intresting
Gigio: the track end at this door,
there is a grate on the celing, if I can climb onto your shoulders I
can check where we are
Carrot: Ok, let's do it
Gigio: Capitain,
there is a little problem...
I think we are under the assassin
guild, I can see the training ground, better be carefull around
here...
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Carcer enters the room.
"Hello, brother. Did you make sure Lord Downey got his 'summons' to see the Patrician?"
"Yes, Farcer. He'll never find us hiding here, in the guild. Have you and Darc- What was that?"
"It sounded like the trapdoor," said Darcer. The brothers look over to the trapped Mrs. Wizzard who's eyes widen. Farcer smiles.
"Well, then," he says. "It appears they've found us. Brothers, you know what to do."
"Yes, Farcer. If they come in, we'll teach them a lesson that they won't soon forget."
Carcer
warns Mrs. Wizzard "Darcer is going to slith your throat open if
we are leaving in a hurry madam, we can't take any 'dead' weight with
us.", the eyes of Mrs Wizzard are at this point big as two
saucers, "They have found us too quickly... Farcer have you used
the 'peppermit bomb' to cover our smell??? You know there may be a
werewolf in the watch!"
"Sure brother, but the smell of
peppermint in the sewer is not usual"
"Obviously, but is
better then your smell, if there is a werewolf he can smell when last
you changed your shirt!"
"WOW! can he smell two mounth
ago?"
"sure he can, Darcer you opened our little dam to
wash our tracks?"
"Ops! brother I kinda forgot"
"YOU
SILLY THING! What did I prepare our plans for?? When a bloody a*****e
like you can't remember the stupidest thing. Let's end the
preparations for our surprise
party!"
---------------------------------------------------
(W)
Oh, no, thought Mrs. Wizzard. This is it. I'm gonna die, and if I die, all my spells disappear and Eskimo's room will be unprotected ((I really miss Eskimo )) Wait!, she thought, Yes, almost.... For the past hour Mrs. Wizzard had been licking at the adhesive on the piece of duct tape that was over her mouth. Now, the glue had given way and the tape fell off of her mouth.
"Gigio, run! It's a trap!*" she yells. A knife blade is held to her throat. On the end is a most furious looking Darcer.
*Yet another famous
captive line....
-------------------------------------------------
(G)
"Silence
her Darcer, but keep her live for now, she can be usefull"
Carcer yells "You are the most useless thing! You wern't able to
keep a woman silenced"
"Everybody know is not so
easy..." Darcer tries to defend itself "QUIET and be ready"
snaps back Carcer
*five minutes ago*
Carrot and Gigio
are studing the gate that block their progress...
"It's never
easy to enter the assassin guild uninvited, Gigio" says Carrot
"We'll find tons of traps, I just hope we will find them
all"
"What I'm asking myself is how they have made their
lair in the assassin guild" replayed Gigio "They were cast
from the guild and normally you don't have access to the guild
property any more"
"Gigio, run! It's a trap!"
Gigio
tries to move forward, but a big Carrot's hand on his shoulder stops
him.
"Mrs. Wizzard!!! We have to help her capitain"
"Don't
rush headfirst in a trap!"
-------------------------------------------------
(W)
Darcer puts his hand over Mrs. Wizzard's mouth to silence her.
"....Ow! She bit me!" he cries out. Carcer rolls his eyes.
"You dolt!" Farcer yells. He turns to Carcer. "You'd think that by now he'd know that his own- What the-?" Hearing a loud thump behind him he sees Darcer cowering on the floor, holding his head. Standing over him is Mrs. Wizzard, holding her staff.
"How the bloody Hell did you do that?!" Carcer yells.
"I
told him that the ropes weren't properly tied and that if he undid
them then I'd be more than happy to help him redo them." said
Mrs. Wizzard. "I'm actually quite surprised, myself. Usually I
can't make my staff appear like that for very long." Mrs.
Wizzard holds her staff up, ready to battle the brothers. Suddenly,
there is a 'POOF!" and the staff disappears in a puff of smoke.
"....Oh,
bugger."
---------------------------------------------------------------
(TP)
Ha! *jumps out of shadow in corner* Curses unto thee! *flails around frantically and jumps around excited, spraying holy water into all directions*
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
(G)
Carrot
and Gigio are still examining the gate when there is a WHOFFF!! sound
and the gate explodes in a thousand burning small fragments...
"It
seems to me that they were able to make Mrs Wizzard very angry
indeed" says Gigio "she isn't normally good with
fireballs!"
"We don't need to worry about traps on the
gate any more" replays Carrot "be ready Gigio, we are going
to enter!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(W)
Mrs. Wizzard begins to cough as the smoke clears. "That'll teach 'em not to piss off a female wizard." She looks down at the three brothers, cowering in the fetal postition in the corner. They look up, take one look at her, and run behind Gigio and Carrot for protection. (The priest was still throwing holy water everywhere) Feeling quite satisfied with herself, she walks around the two guards and looks at the brothers. Making a bad mistake by forgetting Gigio and Carrot are standing right beside her, she gloats. "Maybe, now, you'll think twice before trying to kill your little sister-" She remembers the guards and turns around to their horrified faces. "....Oh, sh**...." she says slowly
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
(G)
"It is better to signal for the cart" says Carrot to Gigio "We will try to understand something about this mess at the watch house!"
Gigio runs away
Carrot stands with his sword ready "Will I have trouble from anyone of you?... I hate to drag somebody to the cells, I like when the prisoners are able to walk by themself and have 'all' their bits"
------------------------------------------------------------------
(JA)
(hello all , I'm Jeannie. Have recently arrived in Ankh Morpork from Uberwald..the dwarfs mining silver again back home has spurred me into trying life in the city. I have a *ahem* allergy to the stuff......mumble...because I'm a werewolf...mumble)
*her attention attracted by the noise, Jeannie arrives at what is left of the entrance. She sees Gigio leave at speed. She decides it's nothing to do with her and she really needs to find the lodgings at Mrs Cake's, but as she is about to leave, one of the brothers shouts "NOW!" and the three of them try a half witted attempt to make a break for it out of the gateway, Carrot grabs two of them but Carcer gets past him.....*
Carcer " you idiots, you can't even escape properly! well, I'm not hanging around, I REALLY don't want to be seeing the Duke anytime soon....oh sh**!"
Jeannie "GGGGRRRRRRRRRRR!"
Carcer retreats back into the room "Nice..er..wolf.......damn it, you never said Sergeant Angua was with you!"
Carrot looking slighty surprised "She's not, thats not Angua...but, er, I suggest you don't make any sudden movments. The cart will be here soon and you can explain yourselves back at the watch house"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(W)
Though
she's aware of the werewolf somewhere in the back of her mind,
pulls the brim of her hat over her eyes and, very
nervously, sidles to the back of the room, afraid to face Carrot and
Gigio, once he came back from signaling the cart. She tried to avoid
the gaze of Carrot and her older
brothers.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
(JA)
*still in wolf form, Jeannie is distracted by the strong yellowy orange smell of anxiety coming from the lady Wizzard, which stands out among the soap smell from Carrot and the distinctive lack of soap smell from the brothers.
Carcers attention falls on the numerous, and most noticably silver religous amulets adorning the priest. With the were-wolf distracted, Carcer makes a grab for the silver. The priest is too shocked by the events of the last few minutes to react quickly enough, Carcer throws the amulets at Jeannie and a silver chain manages to catch around her neck*
"whine.....yelp.....(bloody silver! ow, it burns!!)"
With Mrs Wizzard trying to fit inside her hat to avoid the awkward questions that she knows are going to be asked, Jeannie incapacitated and Carrot temporarily distracted , there is a opening for the brothers to make a break for it........
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
(W)
Mrs. Wizzard hears the howls from the werewolf and becomes fully aware of its presence. Being a dog..wolf..canine lover at heart, she lifts up her hat and casts out an arm. Suddenly, the silver around the werewolf's neck turns into copper. (If she could turn it into gold, she'd be in buisiness) The wolf falls to the floor, panting heavily with relief. Mrs. Wizzard turns and casts out her other arm towards her escaping brothers. They are raised off of the ground by a magical force and brought back to Carrot, where they are tied together by an unseen binding. Then, as if nothing had even happened, she went back to hiding under her wizard hat in the corner of the room and hoped that Gigio would hurry with that cart.
---------------------------------------------------------
(JA)
Jeannie
: "When I can change back into human form, I'm gonna buy that
Mrs Wizzard a drink...actually make that several drinks....ugh, I
don't feel so good....I wish I could tell that priest that holy water
has no effect on werewolves, I'm gonna smell like wet dog all day
now!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------
(G)
"I don't know what the future holds, Mrs Wzzard, but I think I have to thank you" says Carrot
Gigio is back and reports that the
cart is outside with Colon and Nobs, the brothers are lead out of the
room, closely tailed by the werewolf, Mrs. Wizzard follows them and
last is Carrot... out of the room they found an host of assassins and
the most eminent Lord Downey
"What's happening here
Capitain?"
-----------------------------------------------------------
Carrot explains to Lord Downey about how the brothers tricked him, snuck into the guild, captured Mrs. Wizzard, planned to kill him and Gigio, stole from the priest, and nearly killed the werewolf. Lord Downey is held back by Carrot as he tries to kill the brothers.
"Sir, I understand that you're angry, but, they must first be tried and, then, justly punished!" Carrot says. Lord Downey relaxes a bit.
As everyone piles into the cart, Corporal Nobbs notices the werewolf and Mrs. Wizzard's charred robes.
"What happened, here?" he asks, pulling out the stub of a cigarette from behind what could possibly be called his ear. Mrs. Wizzard sighs.
"It's a long, long story," she says. The corporal and the seargent shrug and steer the cart towards the watch house. They arrive about fifteen minutes later....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(JA)
...and proceed inside, Carrot and Nobby take the prisoners down to the cells. (After Nobby had 'searched' them for any loose change or anything remotely valuable)
During this time, Jeannie manages
to locate some clothing from the locker room (we werewolves are very
resourceful when it come to locating emergency clothing) and returns
in her human form. She finds Mrs Wizzard and Gigio in one of the
rooms leading off from the main
office...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(W)
Mrs.
Wizzard has, at this point, resumed trying to make herself at home in
her hat, knowing that, sooner or later, she'd have to come out,
whether she wanted to or not. Loose threads made for poor company,
afterall. She could feel Gigio's stare and tried to figure a way into
the pointed bit of the
hat.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Vimes and Carrot join the others*
"We are trying to start to
understand the beginning of this kaos!" Vimes says... "Even
if eight different storytellers from the remotest lands od the disc,
blind and deaf mind you, write completely randoms letters for two
years, no one of them will be able to compose a so sensless tale,
Nobby please came in with the visual support..."
Nobbs enters
the room with a huge blackboard with some marks on it...
There is
a circle with four men drawn inside, one of them got a pipe, with
some smoke curling out of it, a cane and a very strange and deformed
hat.
"I see you have enanched the graphic corporal"
Vimes says to Nobbs "This is Carcer the eldest" Nobbs
replays "Carcer was already in our hands..." continues
Vimes "and now we got also the other three brothers. There is a
relation to the assassin guild" and he points to a line that
from the circle goes to a sketch of a building inside another circle.
"We also know now that there is a sister" he points to a
third circle with a wizard's hat inside, another line joints this one
with the circle containing the four men
"I know from Capitain
Carrot that you helped the watch, but, you can call me a old
suspicious b*****d, I don't belive you got nothing to hide"
With
the Vimes Glare aimed in her direction everyone watches Mrs Wizzard,
waiting for the explanation she is trying to hide from having to give
by doing her best to take up dwellings in the deepest recesses of her
pointy hat...
-----------------------------------------------------------
(W)
Mrs. Wizzard looks up into Commander Vimes' face. It was hard to not be afraid of him when he was like this, but, she did her best to keep the fear from showing with a solemn expression.
"You want to know the whole story, Commander?" she said. "Then, I'll tell you." she sighs. "My first name is Marcer. I was born in Sto Lat with my parents and my elder brothers. Growing up, they weren't very fond of having a little sister. So, they did everything that they could to try and get rid of me. I often locked myself in my bedroom, and studied magic to help protect myself from them. I was able to protect myself by placing a magic shield around my bedroom. But, one day, a fire caught in our home. My parents were killed. My brothers and I survived, but, I ran away before they found out that I was still alive. I escaped, here, to Ankh-Morpork, and enrolled in Unseen University. (I had to prove just how good I was at magic before they would let me in) I never heard from or about any of my brothers again, until the other day when Eskimo was attacked. I imagine that they were surprised to see me alive, again. But, they are my siblings, and because of that, I have some love for them, even if I don't want to. Regardless of how many times that they've tried to kill me. So, Commander, if these men are sentenced to death, you'll understand that I won't be present at the execution." Mrs. Wizzard leaned her head down. She wasn't sad. Nor, was she afraid of Vimes, any longer. She had told the truth that she'd kept hidden for years, and now she was just..done telling it....
----------------------------------------------------
(G)
Gigio, after listening Mrs Wizzard's tale, asks "Aren't you by any chance an eight son, or better daughter? Cause in that case there are other three brothers around. Do you know what Carcer and the others were trying to obtain with their infiltration in the assassins guild, and the patrician disguise?"
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(W)
Mrs.
Wizzard turns to Gigio. "No, I'm not an eighth so..daugh..child.
One day, I ran into the backyard shed to get away from my brothers,
and I found that an elderly wizard had taken up refuge in there. He
was sick and hurt so I secretly took care of him for a few weeks. One
day, he told me that he didn't have much longer left to live and he
wanted to pass on his powers before he died. He said that since I was
so kind to him that he wanted to pass his powers onto me. He told me
to take his staff and I obediantly followed his wish. I took the
staff and felt its power surge through my body as he died. Suddenly,
I could see him standing with Death and I knew that I was now a
wizard. He thanked me and passed onto his afterlife. I kept the staff
well hidden from my brothers. As for what they were doing in the
Assasin's Guild, I imagine that they were trying to steal some
weapons and wanted to use it as a hideout." Mrs. Wizzard turns
back to Commander Vimes, the solemn expression is still on her face.
"So, Commander. What will befall my brothers?" She kept her
voice level with her current lack of
emotions.
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"They will have a trial and the Judge will decide their destiny" answers Vimes "You don't committed any crimes, for what I know (obviously you committed some, like everyone, but I'm not aware of them), and you are free, Capitain Carrot told me you and Jeannie helped us, and so you have my thanks, if Jeannie is willing in a few hours Angua is due back to the watch house and can take her to Mrs Cake, I will be in my office if somebody needs me"
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(W)
Hmm, this is new territiory, Mrs. Wizzard thought. No one was chasing her, no one wnated her dead, (who could currently get to her, anyway) Well, that was just fine for her. But, something still felt odd. She felt empty inside. She wasn't hungry. This whole affair had resulted in the loss of her appetite. She was still feeling no emotion. She wasn't sure what to do now, but she felt that she could do with a good nap. Without looking to Gigio or Jeannie, she stalks into the hallway and down to her room. She flops down onto the bed which creaks threateningly. Mrs. Wizzard closes her eyes and tried to sort her thoughts. The hangover should subside once she wakes up.
---------------------------------------------------------------
(JA)
Jeannie
wanted to sleep, it had been a long journey from Uberwald.
But
there was somthing she had to do...
*knock knock* on Vimes office door
"yes?" replies a testy voice
Jeannie groans inwardly, this was not a good time to be bothering Vimes but she really had to talk to him
She opens the door and enters.....after a few minutes and a brief yet important conversation she emerges from the office, and sets off out to find Angua.......
----------------------------------------------------------------------
(W)
Mrs. Wizzard wakes up to find that the sun has gone down. It had been a very tiring day. She found it hard to believe that just the other day she was happily challengeing men to sausage-inna-bun eating contests with her friend, Eskimo, who was now in a coma under a magic shield in the room down the hall. She suddenly felt very homesick for the life of making grown men lose it all over the street. Wait..she felt homesick. Yay! She was feeling emotions again. What had caused that emptiness, anyway? she thought..Oh, right. The whole spilling-my-lifelong-secret thing. *sigh* Oh, well. It was out now. She swung her legs around and off of the bed. Now, she was wondering what she should do next. It was too late to be up and about, but, she just woke up, so that ruled out going to sleep. "Unless, I have some sleeping powder," she mutters, going through her robes. She stopped as she caught something on the edge of her vision. Her eyes swiveled towards the window by the bed, looking out into the night. "Who's that girl talking to the troll?" Mrs. Wizzard dismisses the thought as a sudden need for the privy overcomes her. She leaves the room in search for it