Disclaimer: Jake and Rory's apartment are mine, the rest of the characters and places I'm just borrowing.

A/N: Yes! Finally, the next installment in the 'Ridiculous' series is up. It's the sequel of 'Pulling out a Mondler' and takes place two months after that on. Take note that this was not beta-ed so I'm sorry if you find any mistakes. I tried my best but I really suck at beta-ing my own texts. Anyway, enjoy and please don't forget to review. Love, Héla.

Red shirt and Apple Pie (or the best ways to Push Rory's buttons).

Two days and half of incessant pouting and watching torn between amusement and compassion how his eyes would cloud over with anger and determination.

Three days of not talking to him, a Gilmore record.

Four nights in a row of mind blowing, earth shattering -answering all of his desires- nights of sex. (Ok, that one she did not mind that much)

Reading The old man and the see without frowning or mocking, the hardest thing so far.

She did it all. She had tried everything she could, yet he still refused to grant her the only thing she asked for.

When her mother had first talked to her about it, she had known it was going to be a difficult task to accomplish, but the optimist in her had believed that he had changed enough to accept, albeit reluctantly but accept nonetheless. She had forgotten how much of an uncooperative jerk he could still be sometimes.

For him it was very simple and absolutely out of the question. It was too soon for them to face a hurricane of that magnitude. She did not see it as what it really was but for him it was indeed a catastrophe.

He knew it would happen eventually but as far as he was concerned, the later it did the better. He was in no hurry what-so-ever. That calamity/catastrophe/doom (he had come up with tons of names while she pretended that not talking to him for three days had very little effect on her) already happened once and he was smart enough not to repeat his past mistakes. They only had been dating -again- for four months, doing what she wanted him to do could only jeopardize what he knew was the best thing that ever happened to him.

He would not let her win, not this time, no matter how hard it had been for him to see her pout or how much he had missed her voice when she had decided that the silent treatment was the best way to punish him. She seemed to know how to really get under his skin and this past week, it had been irritating him more than he liked to admit.

He had to acknowledge though, watching her come up with ridiculous ways to get him to cave was more entertaining than he thought it would be. The woman sure was determined and very inventive.

"You're being irrational," Rory stated calmly on Thursday evening, at dinner. It was a ten days after Lorelai had called and all the begging had begun. They were in her apartment in Hartford sharing a meal he had prepared hoping it would make her forget about the mission she had been on for the last week.

"I think I'm being the more rational of the two," Jess replied just as calmly, not affected by her act just yet. He knew she was about to burst (he was surprised she did not already) so he had to remain collected, knowing fully well that when she would finally explode, he would lose. "Wait, aren't I always?" he smirked and she glared at him.

"It's just dinner, I'm not asking you to do a vasectomy," she mumbled angrily.

"Might as well."

"You're such a drama queen," she all but growled at him.

"That's where you're wrong; I'm trying to prevent the drama from happening. A drama queen is by definition someone who loves drama and a girl," he paused for good measure and smirked smugly at her, "I think you and I agree I wasn't such a thing yesterday night when you-"

"Jess!" she warned her cheeks flaming and holding a knife menacingly in his direction. "I'm in no mood for your misplaced cockiness right now," he chuckled and she threw a piece of bread to his face.

"Hey now, wasting away food isn't gonna make the situation any better," he scolded with that infuriating smirk still in place, after having picked up the fallen piece of bread.

"Maybe, but it certainly makes me feel better!" she crossed her arms over her chest, the food forgotten. She was simultaneously pouting and throwing daggers at him. She knew it would not make him change his mind (the jerk was too much of a stubborn ass as well) but she also knew that it still tortured him.

He knew her too well though, "I'm still not going to dinner with your grandparents."

"This is really getting ridiculous!"

"What's ridiculous is you considering the possibility that I will get back into that house to spend an entire evening with that woman."

"Hey, that woman is my grandmother, show some respect!" she finally snaps.

"I only show respect to people who do the same with me. Emily Gilmore never respected me and she never will," he stated still calm but she could see the anger in his eyes. Her eyes softened instantly as she willed herself to not think about the only time Jess and her grandmother met.

He was looking down at his pasta and she thought with a sad smile that he looked like a puppy. A lost and angry puppy and that thought only made her stomach squirm. He definitely would not like the comparison but that is how he looked like when he was truly upset.

"Hey, now," her voice was soft making him look up from his plate, "she was always polite to you." she half smiled but it faltered when she saw that for once it was not rewarded by a crocked smirk or a smile of those deep brown eyes she loved so much.

That was when she realized how much he did not want to go and she understood why. It had taken her a week but she got it and she decided to not push anymore. She never wanted to see him look like that ever again.

She got up from her seat and slowly made her way to him. He looked up, almost curiously, and understood in time what she wanted. He moved his chair back and she sat down on his lap, burying her head in his shoulder and inhaling his sent. One of her arms came to rest on her shoulder while her other hand made her way up to his neck where she traced small circle with her thumb. A gesture, she knew, always comforted the both of them. He enveloped his arm arms around her and sighed.

"I'm sorry," she whispered and he tightened his arms around her back.

"No need to apologize, I know why you want me to go. I'm glad you want me to be part of your family," he was whispering for reasons he could not understand but he knew that it was soothing her so he did not raise his voice. When he paused she kissed his neck softly. "It's just-,"

"It's okay, I'll call grandma and find an excuse," she lifted her head from his shoulder and smiled while caressing his cheek, "you are, after all, a very busy person," her smile widened when he chuckled heartedly.

"That I am," he said before kissing her tenderly.


The next morning, it was raining hard on Hartford and the sun was not willing to even try to make an apparition. The rain drops were making loud noises on the windows, the light was gray in her purple walled bedroom and the wind made the branches of the tall tree outside the window dance lazily. She woke up long before he did; he always was a heavy sleeper. Throughout the weeks, she had learned that there were only three things that could wake him up: his loud and awful alarm clock in his New York apartment, her absence when she left the bed before him, and what she was doing right now: deposing soft butterfly kisses on his shoulder. He stirred immediately and let a moan escape him. He shifted just enough to wrap his arms around her naked waist and she started kissing the side of his neck she could reach. He smiled lazily to himself and turned around, pulling her naked form to him.

"Morning sunshine," he smiled and she giggled at the greeting.

"Morning baby," she cooed and he groaned disapprovingly. She kissed his lips softly and he finally opened his eyes. She grinned at the sight of him; disheveled hair, eyes still full of sleep and the shadow of a smile gracing his soft lips.

"Too early to mock," he reprimanded lightly, his voice laced with sleep, causing chills to run down her spine. What a freaking cliché. You would think those little details would go by unnoticed by now but they did not. He still made her shiver with want every time she heard his deep husky voice in the morning. She scooted closer and pressed the length of her body to him, suggestively.

"Yes but is it too early for other stuff?" she whispered, her left eyebrow rose cockily contradicting with the shyness in her eyes and the light blush creeping on her cheek. That should not affect him anymore either, but it did and he wondered how much time it would take before he gave in and confessed how much he loved... well, her.

He let his hand travel up her back and nuzzled her neck with his nose. "You know my policy; it's never too early," he paused to nibble softly at her earlobe and she gasped lightly, making him smirk against her porcelain skin, "for stuff," he finished with an opened mouth kiss making her forget what day it was and what she was supposed to do for the next few hours.

It took her two hours and three attempts to finally get out of bed and take a descent shower, because no, Jess barging in the shower pretending he had lost something in there did not count as a descent shower. It only ensured more dirtiness to occur. Wet dirtiness. They were already late and she knew her mother had already come up with hundreds of filthy jokes to explain their tardiness.

Finally dry and dressed, she headed to the kitchen where she found a coffee mug waiting for her along with pancakes and eggs on her blue table. He was reading the morning paper while drinking his Earl Grey. Her drawers were full with all different kinds of tea but, in the morning, nothing could replace Earl Grey for him, it was a quirk of his only she knew about. She remembered with a smile how his eyes had lit up when he had found the wide selection of tea in her kitchen one morning and how sweetly he had kissed her afterward for the kind gesture.

She approached the table and deposed a soft kiss in his hair. He was shirtless and she passed a hand across his bare shoulders while wondering how he could cook like this.

"I'll go take a shower and then we can go," he said before folding the paper and gulping the last of his tea. She sat down and sipped her coffee happily.

"Told you packing yesterday would have advantages," she said smiling cheekily at him while he put his plate in the sink. He nodded smirking and kissed her gently when he got near enough again. He was quieter than usual; he always liked to irritate her with soft teasing in the morning but today something was off and she guessed what it was. She saw a look pass the depth of his eyes and she recognized it. Guilt. He did not handle guilt very well.

He was about to leave the kitchen when she caught his wrist, preventing his departure. He turned around with a quizzical expression.

"I'm not mad, you know?" she said seriously, referring to his stubborn refusal, looking right into his eyes. She saw how they shifted uncomfortably. She got off her seat, stood close to him and placed a hand on his cheek, causing his eyes to focus back on her. She did not need to ask; when she was this close he could not ignore her, especially not when she was obviously seeking his attention. She tip toed and brushed her lips to his. He quickly wrapped his bare arms around her and they lost themselves in each other. She broke away first but leaned her forehead against his to remain close. His breathing was hectic and he had yet to open his eyes. She hugged him and kissed his bare shoulder.

"I'm not mad, I understand and I'm sorry I pushed you. You will get there, I know you will," he felt himself connect to her, probably like never before and instead of speaking the words that threatened to fall out of his mouth any second now, he just tightened his hold on her and buried his head in her hair.


"So you'd rather whip tables and deal with Kirk than spend an evening with my mother," Lorelai smirked as Jess poured her, wait for the shocker, another cup of coffee. Rory had taken Jake for a walk and Luke was in the diner kitchen yelling at Cesar for a reason or another.

"I'd rather spend an entire week with Kirk and his children alone in a far away forest than deal with you mother."

"Huh, it occurs to me that we really do have stuff in common," she said and they shared a smirk.

"I'm not sure that's a common point your daughter wanted us to have," he deadpanned.

"Well, she's just jealous; I got my man to go to those Friday night dinners."

"Only occasionally and he still dislikes them,"

"Now you're just being nice, he still hates them but the legendary Gilmore pout always gets to him."

"It almost did with me too but I guess Rory is more understanding than her mother," he remarked and she glared at him.


"My middle name."

"I thought your middle name was Zachary," she grinned as his eyes widened in distaste.

"Liz is going down!"

"Leave your mother out of this, Jake told me," she sipped her coffee and missed his blank stare.

"How... you know what, never mind, I don't want to know. Have fun tonight," he threw at her over his shoulder while heading to the stairs.

"She really wants you there with her tonight," she told him, her tone soft and he stopped his hand on the curtain. "She needs you there and," she paused making him look at her over his shoulder, "I'd love it if you could come... you know to keep Luke and Jake company" she smiled softly and he nodded not really sure why.


"Lorelai thinks I should come," Jess said still staring at the book he was pretending to read for the last half hour. Luke acknowledged the information with a blank stare but did not comment. "It clearly proves that she is insane," Jess carried on with a frown.

"Nothing new there," Luke agreed closing the case for the night.

"Still, it's strange."

"Strange is my wife's middle name."

"Stranger than usual. I mean she must know it won't be good. Emily Gilmore and I under the same roof, it can only cause devastation." Jess said finally putting his book down and turned to face his uncle who was now putting the chairs up. Cesar was out of town and Lane was sick so he had to close earlier to go to Friday night dinner.

"Things change, Jess" Luke replied with a meaningful glance toward his grown up nephew.

"If anything, the fact that you're closing up earlier to have dinner with your in-laws is proof of that statement," Jess snickered.

"Says the man who baby sat Jake two weeks ago so his girlfriend and her mother could have some alone time," Luke shot back without missing a beat and with a smirk of his own. Jess laughed, rounded the corner and started helping his uncle.

"We're doomed."

"I've known worse."

"Me too," Jess nodded. Both men were thinking about lonelier days when the only interaction they had with the Gilmore girls were either polite and frustrating conversations or no conversations at all. They finished working in silence, both lost in their thoughts.

Whoever said that Jess and Luke could not really be related because they were too different had obviously never seen them interact. It was in moments like these that their familiarity stroked the most. Their lives had been as different as day and night and their common tastes were as numerous as the ones between Miss Patty and Kirk but it was obvious that they shared a bond that not even a son and a father could share. Each of them had truly loved one woman; both were called Lorelai Gilmore and that fact had brought them closer and closer over the years. Of course, there was more to their relationship but it was funny enough to be pointed out first in the list of things that made their relationship work.

"Well, I better start getting ready," Luke announced when he had checked for the last time that everything was where it was supposed to be.

"Yeah, we wouldn't want that tie and shirt to keep waiting," Jess smirked.

"It's when you talk like that you remind me of Jimmy the most," he uncle shot back gruffly.


"I don't know how Rory can put up with you," he saw his nephew's smirk grew and decided to stop him from saying something obscene. "Just, shut up, will ya?" Jess chuckled and headed toward the door.

"Have fun tonight," he threw over his shoulder. Just as he reached the doorknob, Luke spoke up.

"What do you plan on doing tonight anyway," Jess turned around and stared at him. "I mean you refused to work here, thanks for that by the way," he glared at his nephew who rolled his eyes. "You don't want to get your poor ass to Hartford, not even after Rory and Lorelai asked you to. What do you have to do tonight that is so important?" He asked crossing his arms and gazing at Jess like only he could.


Later that evening, the Gilmores and the Danes were seating in the living room of the Gilmore mansion waiting for the maid to announce that dinner was finally ready. Conversations had been easy and drinks had been drunk but Rory's mind was back in Stars Hollow with her boyfriend.

"Rory, your last article was a delight," Richard praised her granddaughter who smiled genuinely, focusing back on the people around her.

"Thanks, Grandpa. I'm glad you liked it."

"Him and twenty of his employees," Emily nodded with a smile of her own.

"I agree, it was brilliant," Luke added before taking a sip. The rest of the group turned to look at him with matching blank stares. "What? I read!" he said clearly offended.

"Now, you see honey, following a recipe isn't exactly the kind of reading we're talking about here," Lorelai patted his arms with a smirk.

"Says the woman who thinks that good reading material can be found in Glamorous," he shot back without missing a beat. Lorelai and Rory giggled and he glared.

"Glamour, baby," Lorelai corrected before kissing his cheek.

"Whatever, I read Rory's stuff and I like it."

"Thank you Luke," Rory smiled warmly.

"I didn't know that," Lorelai frowned at her husband.

"That's because you don't pay attention," Luke and Emily replied at the same time, causing the room to get silent again, shock evident in all of the faces.

"That was…odd," Richard finally remarked making Rory and Jake giggle.

"I need another drink," Lorelai said looking back and forth between her mother and husband before getting up to prepare herself another martini.

"Make that two," Luke and Emily said in unison again, this time causing everybody to burst out laughing.

"What did you put in their drinks, Grandpa?"

The moment was interrupted by the doorbell ringing and the hurried steps of the maid rushing to answer it. Muffled voices were heard and the small group gathered in the living room looked up to see the maid approach with a perplexed expression on her face.

"Miss Gilmore?" she said in a small voice.

"Yes?" Rory answered.

"There's someone here to see you."

"Who?" Emily asked.

"He didn't tell me. He just told me to tell Miss Gilmore that he was waiting for you in the library," the maid replied, her tone shadowed with fear.

"He?" Rory smiled and the maid nodded. The younger Lorelai all but jumped to her feet and run to the library. She entered the room and found him leaning against her grandfather's desk, arms crossed over his chest and a satisfied smirk playing on his lips. He was still wearing his black coat and scarf. Next to him, on the old wooden desk, a mysterious white package was laid and as she approached him she swore she caught the familiar sent of cinnamon and pie coming from it.

"Well, well, well, look who's here," she smiled playfully, mirroring his posture.

"There was nothing good on TV," he shrugged.

"I thought you were all for literature and its virtue."

"I've already read all the books that you keep in your old bedroom."

"So you're joining us," she grinned.

"It was that or joining Miss Patty and Babette on their weekly gossip meeting," he winced and she laughed.

"Oh it wouldn't have been that bad, there was lot of new things to gossip about this week," she said mocking seriousness.

"Please, this town didn't have anything new to gossip about since we decided to go public," he rolled his eyes.

"You mean when we were caught making out in Doose's."

"That was purely intentional," he smirked and she smiled. She took his hand in hers and stepped closer to kiss him. He put his free hand on her hip and brought her closer deepening the kiss, a kiss he needed to confront all the Gilmores waiting for them in the other room.

"Thank you," she whispered when they pulled apart.

"Don't mention it."

"We better get back before Grandma comes find us," he nodded and started taking off his coat. "Why did you want to see me privately?"

"Oh… I just thought he'd be easier if we were together when I arrived. It's how it should have been anyway. Plus we need to find a good excuse to justify my apparition…" she was not listening anymore. He had finally got rid off his coat and her eyes were glued on his chest. He looked down worriedly but did not understand what was provoking the staring paralysis. "Rory?" he called and her head and snapped back up. He saw a blush staining her cheeks and got even more confused. "Is everything ok?"

"Uh… yeah sure, of course. Why do you ask?" she rambled trying to focus her eyes on his.

"Well firstly you seemed mesmerized by my chest and secondly, you're blushing."

"I'm fine, now let's go." She grabbed his hand again and led him to the living room. He entwined their fingers and took a deep breath preparing himself for a long evening. When they reached their destination, Rory squeezed his hand reassuringly and she cleared her throat causing the group to look up. "Grandpa, Grandma, I suppose you remember Jess my boyfriend," she said with a nervous smile. As expected, Emily smile froze in some sort of polite gesture but her eyes showed all her disdain. Thankfully Richard who knew Jess Mariano the author more than he knew the boyfriend got up and came to shake the younger man's hand.

"Hello Jess, it's really nice to see you again," he said with a genuine smile. Jess shook his hand with a matching smile and returned the greeting.

"I thought you were on a business trip," Emily pointed out coolly.

"I was Ma'am but I got back earlier than predicted," Jess lied with a curt nod while Emily eyed him.

"What about Kirk?" Lorelai broke the tension with a fake pout and Jess glared at her.

"He's doing just fine without me," he answered, sarcasm lacing every one of his words.

"Would like something to drink?" Richard offered.

"Sure…whatever is easiest for you to prepare."

"Martini it is then," Richard nodded before heading to the drinks table. Rory and Jess came to seat next to Jake who smiled at Jess.

"Be careful with the drink, they're making Dad and Grandma act crazy," the boy whispered and Jess smirked.

"Nothing new there," he replied, whispering as well.


Despite Emily's cold behavior, the diner was going rather smoothly. The food was great as per usual, the conversation never ceased but that was only due to Jake and Lorelai, and although he seemed tense at the beginning of the meal, Jess seemed to relax after a while thanks to Richard, Luke and Rory who were keeping him sane. When Emily had tried to bring up the black eye incident, Lorelai had changed the subject all the while throwing daggers at her mother. That was the only time the past had been mentioned, for the rest of the evening the young couple accomplishments and happiness was all that mattered. Jess took Richard's praise with humility and they spent a good part of the evening talking about literature (good literature that is) and Rory smiled happily to herself. She could not begin to express how glad she was that he had showed up.

The only thing causing trouble was Jess' shirt and it was only bothering Rory. He was wearing his red shirt, the one that fitted his body perfectly, the one that was made for him and should not be worn by anybody else. She loved it very much but unfortunately for her there was nothing she could do about it now. She would have to wait to be back home to be able to rip it off…with her teeth.

"Dinner was delicious, Mrs. Gilmore," Jess said when the maid started to clean off the table.

"Thank you," she nodded with again one of her all too polite smiles but he did not care. He was here for Rory and she seemed to be happy. Moreover, the evening had gone by pretty well and he was pretty proud of himself. Rory kept looking at him strangely, he even caught her looking at him dreamily once but she had just shaken her head and had resumed eating.

"Desert will be served in a few minutes," the maid said with a smile.

"Thank you Marina," Emily said with a nod.

"Muriel," her husband corrected and she just rolled her eyes.

"What's desert?" Jake asked excitedly.

Emily was about to answer him but was caught off by the unannounced guest. "Apple pie."

"That's funny, I thought we were serving chocolate cake tonight," Emily said, raising one of her eyebrows.

"Uh, well I brought apple pie with me to apologize for my tardiness and the maid said she'd serve it," Jess explained and had to restrain from rolling his eyes when he saw the way Emily's eyes widened in horror.

"Um, will you excuse us, I have something I need to talk about with Jess," Rory said standing up.

"What about desert?" Jess asked.

"We'll be back soon enough," she said and he noticed her agitation so he got up as well. They headed back to the library.

"Poor Marina," Lorelai shook her head and Luke chuckled.

"Muriel," Jake and Richard corrected at the same time making themselves laugh.


Rory and jess entered the library, she switched on the lights and he closed the door behind them.

"So what…" Jess started but was interrupted by Rory who had pushed him hard against the door and was attacking his mouth with her own. She crashed her body to his and lopped her arms around his neck; obviously wanting him closer. She kissed, licked, sucked, nibbled; hungry for him and he was more than happy to reciprocate the favors. It lasted a good five minutes before she finally slowed down and broke away. Their breathings were heavy, her eyes were still closed and he was smirking lazily.

"Not that I will ever complain, please feel free to pounce on me whenever you feel the want to, but what was that for?" he asked huskily before kissing her cheek. It took her a few more minutes to regain the control of her breathing.

"You came and you brought apple pie," she answered softly, her voice full of emotions. He felt himself cave under the sound of her voice and at that instant he wish to be able to hear her talk like that for the rest of their lives. He kissed her lips softly, just a brush of lips, and when it ended he reveled on feelings she was causing in him. "You were polite, you got along with my grandfather and did not pick up on my grandmother's rudeness," she carried on with a tender tone. She dropped her gaze and looked down at their connected chests. "And you're wearing the red shirt."

"The red shirt?" he asked surprised, a confused smile appearing on his handsome face.

"You know it's like my silky brown tank top, the one you like so much," she said with a small smile and he nodded.

"The ultimate turn on," he added with a smirk.

"This shirt," she said pointing at his chest, "is my ultimate turn on," she whispered and his smirk widened.

"Remind me to wear it more often," he murmured in her ear, his voice low and tempting. She shivered in his arms and buried her head in his neck.

"You're gonna be the death of me," she mumbled against his skin, making him chuckle.

"Right, because maintaining an adult relationship with you has been a piece of cake," he drawled sarcastically and she giggled.

"Oh don't be such a baby, what we have is good," she smiled while lifting her head up to look at him again. His eyes softened and he nodded.

"I concur," he said looking at her intently. She must have lost herself in the depth of his eyes because it took her a few seconds to realize that he was now kissing her. Thorough, passionate and knee-weakening, the kiss literally took her breath away and she found herself gripping his shirt to remain standing still. When he released her she realized how good things really were and she could not imagine kissing anybody else.

"I love you," she declared as if realizing it herself. She smiled and repeated the words to taste them again. It definitely felt good. He chuckled because of the expression of amusement and curiosity she had on her face. He pecked her smiling lips and nodded in agreement.

"I love you too."

A/N: well, this is it. Hope you liked, please review :).