Nothing says I love you like a spy spoof

Drew coughed, winced slightly, and spat out sand. "Bring it, " he stated, eyes flashing emerald fire.

"Pity you won't live to regret that! " Harley laughed before bringing the robot's fist with earth shattering force on the spot where the agent had been laying. But Drew was running, sand spurting up behind him, drawing his gun knife. He fired a couple shots, then a metal fist whooshed by him, the wind knocking him down and the metal arms painfully knocking his weapon out of his grasp.

Drew bit back a few choice curses, jumping swiftly in the air as the arm whizzed by again, this time landing on it and dashing up the arm. He got about halfway to the elbow before the opposite arm brushed him off like a mosquito.

Harley laughed, a shill and immensely irritating noise. "I'll continue my monologue now. "

He cleared his throat meaningfully, still swiping at Drew absently as the agent ran for his life. "Hear that sound? It is the sound of inevitability. "

"How DARE you quote the Matrix! " Drew panted as he ran up a rock spur, back flipping off the top and charging Harley, landing a few nasty blows before the giant Cacturn swatted him to the side.

The agent half skidded, half rolled across the sand before another craggy boulder stopped his progress. He heard several somethings crack, then decided to switch tactics.

Harley smirked coldly as Drew groaned, then flopped back down onto the sand, spitting out blood. "Tired, my little friend? "

Drew kept his eyes down, thinking fast. "Ah well. Take a break, and enjoy the fun. " Harley flipped a switch on his suit, and a metal panel slid back on the robot Cacturn's belly. May could been seen inside, palms on the glass, mouth screaming silent insults as Blaziken repeatedly Blaze-kicked the sides of their Prison and Roselia was subtly storing energy.

Drew watched his friend's demeanor change, then he could make out the water filtering in quickly. "I though they'd be very thirsty after being in this desert and all. You, I'll let live to take a message back to your little friends. Harley shall reign supreme. "

The purple haired man stalked over to where Drew still lay on the sand, blood oozing from his side. "Aren't you going to watch the show, my little friend? Enjoy your last look at May, because a player like you will never settle down. You can't defeat the cliche. " Behind him, May pounded at the glass, bubbles forcing themselves out of her mouth.

Drew's hand had been franticly grappling in the sand for a weapon this entire conversation, and when his hands touched his salvation, he couldn't resist one last remark.

"I'll break this one, and kill you myself. " He jumped up, and swung the shovel with all his might at Harley's head. There was a sickening snap, and Harley stared at his marvelous creation before his sight died, and Drew caught his collar quickly. He forced the corpse into a sitting position, a sudden Solar beam erupting from the now seated Cacturn's belly.

Roselia stumbled towards the victorious Drew, waving her partner over weakly with her rose hands. "Roee roseeel... "

Drew was instantly kneeling beside May's limp form, pushing down on her chest with desperation. "No... don't you dare die on me now. "

May coughed up water weakly. "Blaziken..? "

Behind her, there was a cloud of steam as the fire bird emptied his lungs with a few barking cries. "Bla-hey-hey-haze! " I-I'll be fine.

A platoon of vehicles suddenly whipped around the corner. Max leaped out of the head one, waving over a few medics.

"What about the PPP? "

"They figured that a gigantic robot capable of world destruction would disturb the desert pokemon more than a few vehicles. Let's go, Mr. Rose. If we hurry, you can enjoy the last two hours of your paid vacation! "

"Thanks, " Drew stated dryly.


Max leaned back his chair, hitting the speaker phone button. "I got to say, Mr. Rose, I had my doubts about you a few times. "

On the other side of the line, Drew mildly sipped on a glass of ice water in his apartment. "Really? That's funny, because I've had doubts about you too. Tell me, do you really have a social life? "

"Shut up. " Max's eyes narrowed behind his glasses. "Must you always be a pain in the neck? "

"Just returning the favor. " Drew laughed lightly.

"Hah, hah. Your bonus check is in the mail. "

Drew's emerald gaze slid over to a figure leaning in his doorway. "Is that so? I think I've already got my bonus. "

Max froze, then whipped out his cell phone, speed dialing May. On Drew's end of the phone, he distinctly heard a verse from 'White and Nerdy' playing faintly in the background. May's ringtone for him. His jaw dropped.

"No... I swear Drew, I'm going to freaking- "

Drew snapped the phone shut with his hand, cutting off Max's tirade abruptly.

"It would a lot easier to resist taunting him if he didn't leave around big shiny buttons for me to push. "

May crossed her arms, faking a frown. "Be nice. You're going to have to get along now. " She slid her hand behind Drew's neck, diamond ring catching the light. "I think it's the end now, Drew. "

He smiled, resting his forehead against hers. " me Mr. Rose. "


Roselia sighed as Blaziken typed the last few words and copied the whole into an e-mail for May. Behind them, Drew stirred, rolled, and fell abruptly onto the floor. "Ayah? Oww... "

Roselia slammed her rose hand down on the send button, and drug Blaziken into the closet, covering his mouth with her hand. Drew sat up groggily, hauling himself upright with the help of the desk.

"What is this...? Mr. Rose? Shonen-ai? Harley?! "

Blaziken's eyes watered, pollen from Roselia ticking his nose. Suddenly, he sneezed, Roselia yanking her hand out of the way just in time as a huge fireball exploded out of the closet door to dissipate in the open air.

Drew stared at the pokemon through the hole in the door, then pointed to the floor beside him. "Come here. NOW. "


May paused in her reading of poems when a message popped up. You have new mail from Drew. Read now?

May's eyes grew wider and wider as she read the story, at last gasping at the note at the end.

XXOO From your Mr. Rose.

You free tonight?


Drew drug Blaziken along the hallways by the fire birds wrist, Roselia following him with her head down but her eyes dancing with mischief. "I swear, Roselia, once Blaziken is back with May, we will have quite the conver- huh? "

May's door flew open in front of him before he could knock. "Oh, Drew, that was the most amazing story I've ever read! Of course I'm free tonight! Do you really feel that way about me? You must! " She grabbed his shirt collar, planting a kiss on his shocked face before dragging him inside.

"We'll talk later, " he gasped before the door shut in the pokemon's faces. Roselia sighed happily, and Blaziken turned to face her.

"Blaze iken blaz blaz?! " I though you said it was a prank.

"Ro...roseli? " Um...gotcha?

The fire bird paused, then lightly punched her in the shoulder and churred, a birdy laugh. "Ken blaziken zi. " Yeah, I guess you did. Let's go grab some Leichi berries. I'm starving.



At last! Lavae wants you to press him, do not deny him! Thanks for reading!

Saro, out!