Paper Airplane Fiend
Today the lucky recipient was him. Yesterday it had been some guy named Verne and the day before that, an ecstatic female named Shirley. Wufei frowned as he looked at the blue paper airplane that flew from the window, past Trowa's right shoulder, to land in front of him. About a week ago, if he remembered correctly, a yellow paper airplane nearly crash landed on Trowa's head as it made its entry from the same window to land gently on his office desk. These have been the only times he almost caught the source of these distractions - these wonderful distractions as most people in the office liked to call them.
This was his sixth. Wufei wondered who was so passionately and foolishly in love with him that they would send eloquently prepared love notes through paper airplanes. He had his suspicions that it might have been Sally Po, but he was loathe to think that Sally had some kind of thing for him. That was a disgustingly imprudent thought. This whole 'love' issue that had been plaguing the office was turning serious Preventer officers into wussies. It was intolerable. He wanted a stop to it.
Pausing midway through typing his report, he regarded the blue projectile still awaiting his attention. It was made of rich, linen paper, he could tell from where he sat. The edges were covered in embossed golden vines that made him curious no matter how many of them he'd already gotten. The paper airplane, as inanimate as it was, cried out for his attention. Then again, it may have just been his curiosity screaming at his ears.
"Why not read it?" Trowa voiced across from him, not once taking his eyes off his own computer monitor. "It might be something interesting."
Wufei scoffed at the piece of paper as if it had been the fiend that goaded Trowa to encourage him. There was no reason not to check it. If he was lucky, it might just be a manly death threat this time.
"Fine," he muttered.
The afternoon sun and the pollen-filled air coming in through the God-forsaken window did not fail to remind him that it was spring, the ripest season for love. As he unfolded the carefully prepared airplane, he spied the familiar handwriting within.
'To my dearest friend,' it read. Wufei was already starting to get uncomfortable. 'Although I can only watch you from afar, know that I think of you always.'
"Then why the hell don't you show your face, you coward," Wufei muttered loud enough for Trowa to hear.
"I can phone Sally Po if you want," Trowa suggested with a poker face.
"You think this is funny?" Wufei demanded louder than necessary as he stood. He felt his face burn and his hands shake. These were symptoms he associated with anger. By no means was he embarrassed and by no means was it because of the name Sally Po.
"Pretty much," Trowa said with a shrug before turning his attention back to his work.
Wufei huffed to himself. This was getting out of hand. He had to find out who was doing this. When he does, he would beat this person to a bloody pulp.
Carefully folding the linen paper back to its original shape, Wufei placed it atop his table next to paper airplane numbers one through five. And no, he did not think it was strange or cute that he kept all of them.
A trip outside his shared office proved more bothersome than Trowa's poker face as he realized that the water-cooler had become the newest hotspot for discussing the appearance of these paper airplanes. He knew he was not the only one receiving them. He heard that there were a few others, but during the last week, the amount of officers receiving these love notes had grown exponentially. Everyone seemed to be in love. Hook-ups were becoming more frequent. Everyone suspected everyone else of being their admirer. Questionable activities in the broom closet became more commonplace. In other words, Wufei felt that the integrity of the organization was depleting. How could it be? Did these notes not have any negative effects on anyone aside from him?
Irritated and inexplicably curious, Wufei made his way to Sally Po's office to get it done and over with.
"Sally," he said upon entering without giving her the courtesy of a warning knock.
"Yes Wufei," she responded.
Wufei was just about ready to snap at her for taking part in the nonsense that had been plaguing the office when he realized that she was reading a golden vine lined note in her hands. He instantly felt nervous and told himself it wasn't because she would suspect him. It wasn't because he was hoping for that either.
"Sally," he said again. "Someone also sent you a note?"
"Why yes," she responded, taking her attention away from the linen paper. "I do deserve a little love every now and then."
Wufei felt his ears burn as he made his sudden declaration.
"I'll have you know that I sent none of those," he said before crossing his arms over his chest to look as dignified as possible.
"Hah!" Sally responded while throwing the note into the air and placing her booted feet up on her desk. "...Like you could even come up with half the amount of subtle romance in that note."
Flabbergasted, Wufei defended himself when he should have just kept silent.
"I can be romantic when I choose to be," he said.
"Prove it," Sally said with a challenge in her eyes. Even her twin braids seemed to mock him as they bounced.
"Over dinner tonight," Wufei said, again without thinking first.
"Then it's a date?" Sally tried to confirm.
"Yes, woman, it's a date. How can you be so dense?" he nearly screamed and fled her office. He did not witness the look on Sally's face but he sure saw the look on the face of the person she was sharing the office with. The expression of shock on her was enough to make him run for the hills. He didn't know what had taken over him and he blamed it all on that blasted paper airplane fiend. For now, it was back to the office for him and his discomforting defeat.
"So, did you get the tally?" Trowa asked when he entered.
"Tally of what?" Wufei questioned as he took a seat and tried to forget how dim-witted he'd been only moments ago.
"The tally of people who've gotten paper airplane notes," Trowa said while leaning back on his chair to regard him.
"Trivial facts are none of my concern," Wufei responded before shaking his mouse vigorously to get the silly screen-saver Duo installed on his monitor to cease and desist.
"I hear Sally hasn't gotten one yet," Trowa said, his face eternally lacking of any expression.
"If you're into this sort of nonsense then I will inform you that Sally got one just today."
"Oh," Trowa said in that irritating way that made it sound like he was curious.
"Not from me," Wufei barked.
"Hmm," Trowa hummed quietly.
"What? What is it this time?"
"Then that means I'm the only one who hasn't gotten one," he said.
Wufei's brow rose. He thought he saw a look of disappointment in Trowa's verdant eyes, but that may just have been a trick of the light. Waving his hand in dismissal, Wufei went back to work.
About a week later, Wufei saw the tally of paper airplanes received by the people in the office and in Lady Une's posting board no less. On the left were the employees' last names and on the right were the number of these mysterious objects received. He sniffed in a dignified manner upon realizing that he was in the lead. But of course, who would not want someone as venerable as him? Surely it was a travesty that he was already taken and by a doctor he'd managed to woo with his skill.
Punishing his egoistical thoughts with a bit of reprimand, Wufei left the tally board only to realize that there was but one name missing points. It still was Barton he realized as he frowned. That was, as much as he hated to admit it, a bit sad. Surely this paper airplane fiend was an honorable individual who took Trowa's sentiments into account. It was surely awful to be the only one left behind.
Witnessing Trowa's usually nonchalant demeanor turn into one of extreme detachment to the situation was a bit painful to see. Denial was all over Trowa's face as he proclaimed with a shrug of his shoulders that it was no big deal. It was a big deal alright. He'd been chewing on a bite of his sandwich for ten minutes.
"I will find the root of this evil," Wufei broadcasted to their too-small office like a revered knight. The only response Trowa gave him was another shrug.
It took Wufei another week to study the pattern of appearance of these paper airplanes. Several interviews with his co-workers had yielded commendable results. First of all, everyone admitted that they did not send any of the paper airplanes made of linen paper. A few admitted that they did make a few themselves but with regular copy paper and nothing special. The second finding was that the paper airplanes, if someone did witness its landing, always flew in from the windows. Plus, the authentic, linen paper airplanes were only received by the people situated close to the windows. Finally, the third discovery yielded the most fruitful lead. The airplanes were always delivered within a forty-five minute time frame once a day.
A few engineers in the next department over had graciously, or grudgingly, depending on the way one looked at it, helped him figure out where these airplanes could have come from if they were coming from outside. All the angles pointed to the helipad located in the building next to theirs. The fiend would surely make his or her appearance there, so Wufei had happily skipped lunch to be within the vicinity for a period of fifteen minutes before and after that forty five minute time frame.
Unfortunately, Wufei had also become a victim of the broom closet and after a discreet 'encounter' with one Sally Po, he made a mad dash for the next building's helipad. He felt smug as he realized that the place was not empty when he arrived.
"Fiend," Wufei whispered to himself as he looked at the helicopter resting quietly on a landing marked with a big X. "I have you now."
Somewhere near the head of the helicopter was a conveniently placed picnic table where a man in a suit sat facing away from him. His head was bent down as his hand held on to a fountain pen. He looked to be concentrated. On either side of the table were two men dressed in black from head to toe with communication devices inserted professionally into their ear buds. They were eyeing him suspiciously but made no move to disturb the seated man.
"What is the meaning of this commotion you are causing us?" he said to get the man's attention.
For a moment, Wufei thought he was being ignored, but the man eventually turned around with a look of confusion plastered on his face.
"Wufei?" he said as if he'd just woken up from a dream or rather, disturbed from his concentration.
"Quatre?" he said with disbelief. "You're the paper airplane fiend?"
"How dare you call Master Quatre a fiend!" voiced the black-suited man to the right.
"It's fine. He's a friend," Quatre assured before standing up to approach him.
"It's been a while," Quatre said. Wufei was still unable to speak. "I heard that you and Trowa work here now."
Blinking, Wufei looked past Quatre to see the golden vine lined linen paper of different colors on the picnic table. No doubt about it, those were the same that were being sent to him and his co-workers.
"About those love notes," Wufei started. To that, Quatre's eyes grew to disproportionate levels. "Why have you been sending them?"
"I… um," Quatre said as he looked unable to form sentences. "I… They're meant for someone."
"Someone specific or someone as in anyone?" he tried to confirm.
"Trowa, specifically," he whispered as if the manner in which the revelation was revealed would make it less embarrassing.
Wufei sent him a comical look of disbelief as he waved his hands around in a random fashion.
"All those notes and Trowa still doesn't end up with one?" he said.
It was absurd. Trowa was located right next to the window, giving him an excellent opportunity to receive such notes. To think that they were all meant for him, it made the matter that much more unbelievable.
"Oh, so Trowa has never gotten any of my notes?" Quatre asked with a hint of disappointment.
"No," Wufei said, still with amazement. How unlucky could a guy get? "Everyone - and I mean everyone in the office - has gotten one of those airplanes except him."
"How horrible!" Quatre said as he put both hands over his mouth. Wufei thought he looked like he was on the verge of crying, but that may have been just the way those gigantic eyes made it look.
"But why not just call him or visit him at his place or in the office? It's not that hard," Wufei suggested. Really, there were so many ways to tell Trowa without going through the trouble of courting the entire Preventer organization. Heck, Quatre could have even stalked him after work.
"I don't know his number," Quatre admitted, looking very much deflated. "I don't know where he lives. I just know that he works here. I asked Lady Une if I could get in contact with him and she said that she didn't give out Preventer officer information, but she did mention that his desk was right next to a window. She also said that my access is restricted to the helipad. That's the reason why I visit here during lunch."
That woman was evil! She had the tally in her posting board. He had his suspicions that she was behind the tally in the first place. Was she testing how successful Quatre would be given that single piece of information? She was probably laughing her ass off seeing as the results pointed to zero paper airplanes under Trowa's name. Now that he thought about it, Sally may have been in on it too. He shuddered at the thought.
"Quatre," he said. This was uncalled for. This woman had made a mistake messing with a man. He would do everything in his power to make things right. "Do what I say and I assure you that he will get all your love notes."
Quatre couldn't be happier.
It took a few days, but his plan had finally come together. Everyone in the office agreed to take part in the operation with no protest. Most of those who heard about the story thought it was romantic. A few even had the gall to cry. Again, Wufei thought they were wussies who deserved to be fired, but that was to be ignored for the time being.
On that eventful day during lunch break, Wufei felt proud of himself for his handiwork. Trowa had gone out to pick up some take-out from a fast food nearby and things were going according to plan. As he saw Trowa enter the office lobby, he almost snickered at the sight of one aloof Trowa Barton valiantly struggling to hold together everyone's take-out order. He muttered and cursed and found himself paralyzed in the middle of the lobby for if he moved, everything in his hands would fall.
"Just my luck," Trowa said and looked toward the heavens as if asking for help.
Wufei gave the signal to his co-workers from his position on the second floor overlooking the lobby. It was show time.
The readied agents watched as Trowa tried to get his bang off his face without using his hands. He was almost on the verge of dropping everything altogether when he blinked. A paper airplane was thrown at him and it landed head-on. In fact, it landed and lodged itself on his bang.
"How quaint," he said with sarcasm.
Wufei let out a shrill whistle. Trowa was then bombarded with multitudes of paper airplanes all coming from above. All he saw were hands, no faces, as love notes were thrown at him. There were so many that it looked like a rain of paper and it seemed like minutes before it finally stopped. Dropping everything on the floor after figuring that this was one sick joke directed at him, Trowa picked the airplane out of his hair with an indignant tug. He was just about to kick the ones that landed just below his feet when a gold paper airplane landed gently in front of him. Gold had a way of making one look because the color was so striking it was remarkable. He picked it up and opened it meticulously as if he knew this one was finally the one meant only for him.
'Trowa,' it read. 'It seems my blundering attempts to woo you have instead turned your office into a love nest. While everyone else may have benefited from my most heartfelt words, know that each and every one of these before you now was always meant for you.'
"Because I've always loved you," a voice concluded the note.
Trowa looked up, surprised as he heard the admission out of the last person he thought he would see standing before him. Quatre Winner was smiling at him in that unsure way that made him all the more gorgeous.
"I've been waiting for this chance for ages," he said next.
Wufei smirked as Trowa approached Quatre and kissed him on the lips in a not-so chaste smooch. All their co-workers stood from their position, clapped, cheered and howled at the success of that afternoon's mission. Wufei thought it was a job well done. He even prepared the broom closet if need be.
"You're my hero," Sally said from beside him.
Wufei did not protest as he accepted the congratulatory kiss from the result of Quatre's unintentional but successful match-making. Quatre Winner, he thought, really was one romantic genius.