Disclaimer: Phoenix Wright belongs to Capcom and Nintendo, not me.
Written for the infamous kink meme.
Apologies if this isn't written too smoothly - I'm not a yaoi fan but I found myself writing this before I knew it. The kink meme does that to you XD.
Reviews and constructive criticism is greatly appreciated, as usual.
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Phoenix stared at the two prosecutors standing for him; both tall, dark and handsome with secret (well, not so much anymore), dark, tormented pasts that drove them both to success, wisdom and that sexy-as-hell mysteriousness about them.

To the left, was the elegant genius Miles Edgeworth; dignified, proper, arrogant and although sometimes cold, he had that sweet and caring deposition underneath all the walls he kept up to protect himself from the pains of the world. He often pushed people away, but through all the tough times it was proven that he was there for those he cared about. The efforts he displayed when Maya was kidnapped by De Killer, or when he chartered the first jet over when he believed the attorney was on his deathbed, proved to the world that being cared about by Miles Edgeworth was truly a blessing.

To his right, was Godot. Even more mysterious and confusing than Edgeworth himself (Phoenix was never able to understand his metaphors), he exposed to the world a cocky, often condescending demeanor. But under that glowing visor was loyalty and passion. Extremely so, in fact, he would dedicate his job, safety and even life to bringing justice upon the villain that separated him from his past beloved; and protecting the one who meant the most to that lover. He had loved before, but that meant experience and confidence combining with his passion; a man that was definitely one in a million.

The soft clink of ceramic tinted in Phoenix's ears. In the right hand of both prosecutors, was a drink. Edgeworth grasped between his fingers a sophisticated china cup and saucer; a soft, sweet, yet perfectly balanced aroma emerging in soft puffs of steam. Faintly, Phoenix was able to smell the soothing and undeniably exquisite Earl Grey; relaxing, calming, romantic.

Deeply contrasting, was the empowering scent of Godot's black coffee. Blend #107, his personal creation. Dark as a moonless night and more bitter than hell itself, it was a strong, powerful and vigorous beverage. Instead of being relaxing, calm and romantic, it was exhilarating and addictive. It gave energy and adrenaline instead of soothing and its rush was unlike any other experience.

Phoenix continued to stare in his spot. Making no move to the right, nor the left.

"Come on Trite, make you decision." Godot chugged back a gulp, his Adam's apple bobbing with the swallow. Edgeworth, staying dignified, took a small sip of his tea.

"Yes, I do believe you've wasted enough time, Wright. This isn't unlike you, but even I didn't think you'd take this long." They were both tapping their expensive Italian shoes in impatience. Phoenix didn't know what to do. Right? Or left?

"Come on Trite. Stop wasting time. You know you want the dark, rich hell that is coffee."

"Preposterous. That bitter junk will do no good for you. Tea, relaxes you. It eases your pain, and brings you peace."

"Ha!! Trite doesn't want relaxation with mommy. He wants excitement! Adventure! Only coffee can bring him that. Just come with me, Trite."

"Tea can be sweet to your liking. And it won't brandish your breath like death itself. You know which one you want, Wright."

Phoenix felt himself sweating. Left? Or right? He didn't know.

"Coffee...helps you get through your problems. It gives you the energy to face the world, not the soothing relaxation of pretending this land is made of milk and honey."

"Milk and honey, in fact. Go very well with tea. And it's good for you. Antioxidants. It's needed to maintain a healthy lifestyle."

"Trite doesn't want what he needs. He needs what he wants . And that's me, Miles."

"On the contrary, Diego." The right glared at left. The left glared at right.

"This imbecile doesn't even call you by your proper name, Wright!" They were pointing fingers now. The only thing they were missing was the judge.

"Well at least I don't wear pink in a house of law, Trite!"

Seriously. Why couldn't they just both call him Phoenix? And Phoenix quite liked his own pink tie, thank you very much.

"Just come with me, Wright. We were much happier without this pompous idiot in our lives!"

"The eagle flies over a majestic canyon. Although beautiful down below, it fails to see its front is never changing."

Wait. What? What the hell did that even mean? Phoenix started rubbing his temples.

"At least I wasn't the one who killed his mentor's mother!"

"Well according to the records, you were suspected of murder for your own father! And I don't wear a stinkin' cravat!"

"Well I have 20/20 vision!"

"Well I don't wear a stinkin' cravat!!"

"Tea! Is better than coffee."

"In your dreams. Coffee."

"Tea!"

"Coffee!"

"Tea!!"

"Coffee!!"

"ENOUGH!!!" Phoenix finally spoke, rendering the two other lawyers speechless for a second. "I've made my decision." Both Edgeworth and Godot gave confident smirks.

"Yes, you prefer the sweet heaven that's only found in tea. Correct, Wright?"

"Ha! Heaven is boring. Hell is exhilarating, unpredictable. It'll be fun, Trite. What'd you say?"

"I say," Phoenix took a step forward, teetering to neither sides. The prosecutors clenched their drink in their shaking hands, awaiting the decision.

"I say….I find someone who wants to offer sex instead of a couple of beverages I have plenty of back at my office. Good day." With that, he turned, and left.

And two cups, one containing hell, one containing heaven, shattered to the floor in shock.