Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! (I know- I can't believe it either)
"Ah... well that's what I get for being a man that knows everything." Kaiba sighed contently, gazing at the award he'd been given by the Mayor for being-well, let's put it in obvious terms- himself.
The teen-genius smirked as he placed the award for 'Japan's Cleverest Businessman" down on the desk, and- still smirking- leaned back in his office chair. As he gazed round his home-office, Kaiba contemplated how there was no better place to polish one's ego than in one's home. And in this case, a seven-storey, one hundred and twenty-roomed mansion was definitely quite the home to boost one's ego.
Looking extremely smug, kaiba straightened up to carry on with the sales report he'd been drafting earlier that afternoon, when-
NO! Kaiba thought frantically. Don't tell me ANOTHER damned kidnapper is trying to take Mokuba! Leaping out of his chair, kaiba raced out of the office, collecting as many 'vital' items as he could.
Where the hell is that machete?! Kaiba thought, frantically checking his pockets as he raced down the halls. In true action-hero style, kaiba leaped over banisters, skidded through his mansions' many hidden passageways, dived over furniture obstacles and- CRACK…ran head-first into a wall.
Dazed and sprawled on the floor, he realised he had some unwanted attention. Kaiba leaped up from his resting place
"You didn't see anything," kaiba snarled at the unsuspecting maid. "Except me elegantly striding in my cool-and-composed way- right?"
"I-oh-yes…of-of course Mr Kaiba- and very composed you were too!" the maid replied timidly.
"Yes… yes, I was, wasn't I?" kaiba mused happily. Yes, I am the most elegant of them all, the most powerful- amazing- BRILLIANT- oh right-Mokuba.
Snatching the cleaning-broom from the maid's hand, Kaiba once again started running down another corridor, whilst he could still hear Mokuba screaming for him.
"Mr Kaiba?" the maid called after him, "You're going the wrong way…"
Kaiba immediately made a U-turn and raced back the other way, on purposely hitting the maid on the head with the broom as he raced past. Hm, kaiba smirked, no one gets away with saying Seto kaiba is incorrect- I'M PERFECT!
"I'M COMING MOKUBA!" Dammit- no one gets away with kidnapping MY brother.
Finally producing the knife out of his coat-pocket, Kaiba raced through the kitchen, towards the back-doors, where he could hear Mokuba screaming. Glancing around the around the kitchen, however, he stopped. These utensils should come in handy, Kaiba thought, picking up a butcher's knife, kitchen scissors- and a hand-whisk.
I'm sure I could put this to great use- kaiba thought as he turned the lever and made the blades turn. Round and round…imagine Wheeler being mashed up with this- hehehehe! Who knew a kitchen utensil could get rid all your problems eh, Whisky? Will you help daddy Seto crush the mutt?
CRAP- dropping 'Whisky,' Kaiba raced out the kitchen, swearing to tear out the eyes of the pathetic moron who thought he would get away with going near HIS mokuba.
Mokuba, laying in a deck-chair outside and gazing at the sunset, looked round to see his brother come crashing out of the back-doors and onto the veranda, screaming "DIEEEEE, YOU SON OF A- Mokuba?"
"Hey Seto," Mokuba grinned, drinking from his 'sippy' cup as he lay in his deck-chair.
"What-where- you…" Kaiba panted, staring at the lazing form of his younger brother.
"I wanted to ask you a question," Mokuba said, indifferent to his brother's furious stare.
"A-a question? A QUESTION?!" kaiba snarled- he'd made a fool of himself to answer a question?!
"There's something I want to know, you see- and I was wondering if you could tell me the answer. Here, come sit," Mokuba pointed to the deck-chair next to his own and offered Kaiba another 'sippy' cup, just like his own. "It's mango, your favourite!" Mokuba smiled pleasantly.
Kaiba, on the other hand, was contemplating whether attacking his brother with 'Whisky' still counted as murder.
"I mean, you know everything- don't you big brother?" Mokuba pressed on, indifferent to the froth coming out of Kaiba's mouth. Wait til I get my hands on you- wait- no- what are you doing?!
"Please big brother?" Mokuba pouted, his eyes beginning to water. "I thought we could spend some time together!" once again indicating the vacant deck-chair and the 'sippy' cup.
"What-oh- oh, fine." Kaiba inwardly huffed as he collapsed into the empty deck chair. "But no WAY am I drinking from a 'sippy' cup," he snarled, glaring at the cup in his brother's hands.
"But…" Mokuba's pout started all over again.
"Oh great (!) Yes, yes, just start the pout again (!) why even bother to take a moment to think about MY reputation (!). Oh alright then- as long as you're happy (!)." Kaiba snarled sarcastically, grabbing the 'Sippy' cup, and taking a furious gulp.
"YAY!" Mokuba cheered, hurrying out of his chair and onto his brother's lap. As the two sat there, gazing out over the grounds, at the waning sun and the first signs of a starry night, Kaiba felt his annoyance with his brother edge away, as the smaller boy snuggled down deeper. In truth, he actually enjoyed what little time he could spend with his brother and with this in mind, he got into a more comfortable position and gazed up at the sky. As it happens, he was rather tired… missing a few hours of work wouldn't hurt…
"Big brother?" Mokuba asked.
"How many stars are there in the sky?"
Kaiba yawned and ruffled his little brother's hair. It really was such a warm evening...
"As many as the hairs on your head, Mokie."
Mokuba looked up at his sleepy brother in astonishment- Seto had called him 'Mokie'! Smiling happily, Mokuba settled deeper in his brother's lap.
"Hey Seto?" Mokuba piped up again, gazing curiously at the setting sun. "Why does the sun go down at night?"
"Because he needs his sleep," Kaiba replied lazily.
Mokuba straightened up and looked up at his brother inquisitively.
"But- but Seto- how big IS the sky?"
"I don't know," Kaiba murmured sleepily, attempting to put his arms round Mokuba.
Mokuba, however, stared at his brother with his mouth wide-open. Suddenly, he jumped of Kaiba's lap, startling the elder and causing him to crash to the floor.
"GUESS WHAT?!" Mokuba screeched at the top of his lungs, running inside.
What the hell is wrong with that kid?! Kaiba thought furiously, as he picked himself up off the ground and rubbed his head. There'd better not be some flaming paparazzi hiding round here, Kaiba thought furiously. The last thing he needed was it getting out to the world that he was a klutz.
Grumbling to himself, Kaiba trailed inside, just in time to see Mokuba in front of Roland- Kaiba's right-hand man.
"Guess what Roland- guess what?!" Mokuba yelled at the nervous-looking Roland.
Kaiba moved forward, confused.
"There's actually something Seto doesn't know!"
Kaiba could have fallen to the floor in exasperation.
"Very good, Master Mokuba," Roland said, blinking uncertainly, aware that his temperamental boss was in the room, and hurried off.
"No-wait- Mokuba," Kaiba interrupted, aware that his reputation was truly about to go down the toilet. Mokuba was officially 'Biggy McBigmouth' himself.
"No, you didn't understand me!" he carried on worriedly- of course there wasn't something he didn't know! He knew everything!
"Wait til I tell Yugi and the others!" Mokuba excitedly ran upstairs to get his cell-phone.
"Wait-no! I do know the answer!" Kaiba yelled after him. "It's erm- an amount measured to the nearest cubic centimetre consisting of-er…MOKUBA!!!"
Kaiba chased after him.
"It's-er- about 3 million cubic feet of-"
"WOW! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! SOMETHING YOU DON'T KNOW, SETO!" mokuba cheerfully called over his shoulder.
"NO-wait- I do know the answer- wait-"
"You know, this is gonna make your award kinda awkward." Mokuba called over his shoulder, running into his room, and locking the door before Kaiba could get in. "If you want, I could call the Mayor and tell him the bad news!" he yelled through the door at his older brother.
"NO- I DO KNOW THE ANSWER-Mokuba- MOKUBA- OPEN THE DOOR!" Kaiba yelled, banging his fists on the locked door.
"Hello?" came Mokuba's voice through the door. "Can I speak to the Mayor please? Yes, it's about my big brother's award…"
Dammit, thought Kaiba. The prospect of murder via "Whisky" was looking better and better.