Disclaimer: I don't own anything Kishimoto does! Well maybe a tv, bathroom, some towels, dishes, computer, couch, stereo, chairs...ect. But Not Naruto:)

Sorry this is late I was stuck babysitting for a friend for two nights. So I will post as soon as possible! Well duh? Right? Not that any of you can read this right now and be like 'okay then' ! Yes I was up too late fro the past two nights (Fri and Sat). This is for Jen who wrote her ass off for those V-Day reply cards from the Akatsuki. Because I'm sure she now has Carpal tunnel Syndrome or Arthritis from all that writing! lol :)

NOTE: I know alot of others use the word Tentacles or what ever else. But I use the word threads. Octopus have tentacles so do jelly fish. My Kakuzu does not. He's too hot for that! Besides those animals gross me out so I prefer not to think of them when I think of Kakuzu. I think there more thread like, like a tape worm or shoelace. Thread can be thick too without being called rope. Plus he uses thread to sew his face up and the rest of the body. I got a couple of e-mails before (3) that said they thought they were called 'Tentacles'. But I use 'Thread' just a personal choice. To me it sounds better not to mention sexier:)

Warning: This may cause sever nose bleeds that you may pass out from and sever drooling so you might want to grab a bucket! Shark on Stitches Yaoi! Sharky smexy badness and Stitches butt virginity lost! Alot of naughty word and action used! And I mean alot! So enjoy:)

For The Love of Money!

Kakuzu was heading to the Akatsuki office, with coffee and bagel in each hand and an envelope tucked under his arm. If you could only see him now in his leisure wear. When at the lair most of the Akatsuki took to their lounging clothes to be comfortable, when of course not on a mission. He wore jogging pants cargo style and a white wife beater that did in fact have a back in it that showed off his well formed rippling muscles and just bare feet. He also abandoned the mask when he was at the lair, they all knew what he looked like anyways and he felt comfortable around them. Well it's not like the rest were much different form him anyways, they all had their unusual talents and deformities to them all. But together they looked over the mutations and rather saw them as great strengths above other people. So when he was in the office there was no need to have his extra hearts so close to him. There were how ever really close to him at all times when not attached. He had a physical and mental connection to all of them. They stood guard in many different places that hid them well. This did freak out alot of the others at first, but they had got used to it over time. As long as they stayed away from the masks, ignoring their existence.

Kakuzu unlocked the door which looked more like a bank vault and went inside closing the door behind him. He turned on the dim over head light and sat down at his desk in the corner, he put down his coffee and bagel so that he could unlock the cabinet beside him. He pulled out files and tax calculator, he set them down and took the envelope that contained receipts, adding them to the work pile. This was like a daily ritual for the Stitched man. Wake up, get ready for the day, get some coffee and breakfast and head to the office to do the daily accounting. He really didn't have to do it each day, well on missions he wasn't able to do it, but he insisted and Pein wasn't going to complain as long as it was done by the end of every month. Kakuzu strong obsession with money and keeping track of every penny he owned made the ideal person for the job.

Kakuzu usually worked alone, which was what he liked to do, but there was the odd day where he would have to work along side someone. Kakuzu usually had alot of patients for a man his size and strength level. But sometimes he didn't have any patients at all, especially if they were getting in his way of his accounting. Well anything to do with money. Today he was working alone when Kisame banged on the door. He had just finished his bagel and was in mid sip of his coffee.

"Hey, Kakuzu let me in I have to fill out a report from two days ago!"

Kakuzu rolled his eyes and got up to go open the door.

"Kisame, this can't wait until later?"

"No! I need to do it now, because I will be leaving with Itachi tomorrow and we still have to go to the Village to get more supplies."

"Fine just stay out of my way and keep quiet!"

"Sure what ever!"

Kakuzu went and opened the door, Kisame made his way to Pein's desk and pulled out some report papers, laying down Samehada as he did so. He had just gotten back from morning sparring, so he was only clad in jogging bottoms. He obviously shed his shirt earlier from being sweat filled from the rigorous activity. His chiseled chest and well muscled arms were defiantly a sight for any Fan Girls dream, not to mention the musky sweet smell that men get when they sweat alot from a workout. (yum! Oh where was I?)There were only two desk in the office one Pein shared with everyone else and Kakuzu's had to share with Konan. He didn't mind at all she rarely had a need to use it. Despite them not looking very unorganized they were really beyond organized. The main ones who kept that order in the lair were Pein, Konan, Kakuzu and Sasori. One of them had to be left behind at the lair to make sure the order was kept. They are S-class criminals for a reason. Kakuzu got back to his work of punching in numbers and filling out forms that he had made himself for easier book keeping. Kisame was busy filling out the form obviously getting very bored from doing so. He started to hum to him self.

"Do you have to do that? It's distracting me!" Kakuzu whispered through clenched teeth at the shark.

"Yah, whatever. I'll quit."

A few seconds later Kakuzu heard a foot tapping. He looked behind him and yes indeed Kisame started to tap his foot fast against his chair.

"Kisame stop tapping your foot!"

"Sure" The Shark said as he just continued to fill out the form.

Things were quiet for about three minutes when Kakuzu started to hear Pen tapping.

"For the love of money! Kisame can't you just be friggin' quiet while you fill out your form!"

"Do you know what Kakuzu? You really need to get some music in here or something that has noise to it! It's just two freakin' quiet in here! I can't concentrate with out noise!"

"Well why don't you come back later?"

"I told you, I have to go to the Village with Itachi!"

"Well you don't have to leave until the morning, and the Village is on the way to where your going!"

"We won't have time to stop on the way out! Why can't you just come back later?"

"I have to get this done before Pein gets back!"

"Sure you do. You do this everyday! Your always in here doing the accounting! And others have to get their work done too you know! Your not the only one who needs to use this office, so quit acting like you own it!" The big blue, well muscled man growled through sharp jagged teeth.

"Well you don't have to do all that annoying tapping!"

"Well you don't have to do all that annoying bitching!"

Both men grumble and glared at each other but went back to there work eventually. Kakuzu was the first one to break the glare, knowing that the younger Akatsuki had too much attitude for his own good.

There was silence for the time being. Just until Kisame needed a calculator to do the financial part of the form. He opened the top drawer and started to push everything around to see if he could find one. When he didn't, he opened the other smaller top drawer and shuffled things around in there also.

"For fuck sakes Kisame that's it!" Kakuzu turned around and grabbed the shark by the throat and pinned him against the wall. Kakuzu towered over him by only an inch and a half. Both men were the tallest men and most powerfully built men in the organization. Kisame was surprised by his actions and didn't really have time to react properly.

"WTF are you doing you thread monkey!"

"I told you to not interrupt my accounting! I gave you one more chance then I should of! You ruined it for yourself!"

Both men started to struggle against each other trying to gain the upper hand. Both were equal in strength and almost equal size. Things started to get knocked off of the desks the light from above was hit and was now swaying back and forth. This had turned into a full blown wrestling match between the both large men.They were both swearing under their breath and growling at each other. They more looked like two gorillas fight over a banana, or an in heat female, but I prefer banana, mostly because guys do stupid stuff like this all the time! (roll of the eyes).

Kakuzu gained the upper hand when he pinned Kisame's back to the desk and held him down with the help of his thick black threads. both men were panting hard and sweating a bit from the wrestling match. Kakuzu stood in his victory in between Kisame's legs as he held him down. Both were now glaring into each others eyes and has snarls on their faces. Despite that Kisame was still struggling hard beneath the stitched man. Their muscular chests and groins rubbed together hard as Kakuzu tried to keep hold of the shark as he struggled to get loose.

"Screw you Stitches!" Kisame spat.

"You started this Jaws!"Kakuzu shot back.

"You did you old fagot!"

"What did you just call me?!?!"

"You heard me you butt loving psycho!"

"Are you meaning what went on at the hotel?!?"

"What do you think I fucking mean? You old fairy!"

"I see you still didn't see the lesson behind it?"

"What lesson? You raped my butt and I had to walk like a friggin cowboy for two days!"

"But you smiled as you did."

"No I didn't, it was a smile of pain you masochist!"

"Still you smiled"

Kisame managed to get a arm free and punched the old fruitcake back a bit, but the delivery was not hard enough to loosen the hold on him. Kakuzu's head shot back and he could feel the tingle in his face and taste the blood at the corner of his mouth. He strengthened his grip on Kisame's body. Causing Kisame to wince in pain. Kakuzu suddenly brought his head down fast and his mouth landed right on Kisame's. At first Kisame struggled with that too, but had stopped when he gave into the sweet sensation. He was forced to taste the blood that he caused from the punch he threw. Kakuzu ground his hips hard between Kisame's legs and made their groins rub together by Kakuzu's set pace. Besides it has been a while since Kisame had a woman or any intimate touch from another. And once you feel what you wanted to feel for a while, you begin to loose yourself. And loose himself for a couple of minutes is what he did! Hey who can resist a giant hot stitched man forcing you to kiss him huh?

Kisame pulled away when Kakuzu had loosed his grip during the kiss. And managed to get his arm free once more. This time he shoved him backwards and we able to free himself a bit.

"Back off you old fruit cake! I'm not going for round two with you! I have a mission tomorrow!"

"Well Kisame it looks like your body once more is telling you different." Kakuzu's eyes trailed down to Kisame's half erected pole that was causing a tent effect in his jogging pants. Kisame looked down and coved him self with one of his hands.

"Fuck you!"

"If that's what you want then so be it."

"No not this time Stitches!"

Kisame lunged at Kakuzu and they were once again wrestling for dominance over each other. Kisame was beaten once more held to the other table this time with the threads that once more aided the Stitches! Kisame was at a disadvantage. Kakuzu waisted no time and had his mouth once more covering Kisame's in a hard passionate kiss. Kisame gave in and kissed back just as hard when he felt Kakuzu's hips grind hard once more against him, he could feel the other mans arousal was hard as his. Kakuzu reached down with one hand and grabbed Kisame's crotch hard, receiving a groan of pleasure and pain, the hand started to massage roughly as Kisame kissed back with fury forcing Kakuzu's mouth to open and taste the shark.

Kakuzu's hand then pulled down Kisame's jogging pants. Kakuzu pulled his mouth back for a second.

"What?!? No underwear?" He asked actually confused.

"I find them to constricting for my size." (spyder drool)

"Have you tried boxers?"

"Yah but free is what nature intended" He moaned as Kakuzu's hand stroked back and forth hard along his length.

His arms clung to Kakuzu's shoulders and he moved his hips along to the hard strokes of the other man's hand. Kakuzu stopped the kiss and knelt down to his knees, he wrapped his mouth around the large organ and began to make a strong suction that made Kisame throw his head back swearing loudly His breath turned into a slow pant as Kakuzu hand held the base of his cock. Stitches started to move up and down the shaft taking half of the large pole in his mouth letting it hit the back of his throat. Kisame put one of his hands in his hair and put his hand over the stitched mans hand, to add more pressure to his hold and to start a stroke from base to half way up his erection to where the mouth could only reach too. He broke out into a light sweat that dripped down his well muscled chest. With Kakuzu's free hand he began to massage Kisame's balls, stroking and gently squeezing them giving Kisame triple the pleasure. Kakuzu worked his mouth expertly over Kisame until Kisame's hips started to buck and the hand in Kakuzu's hair tightened and started to force his large pole to go deeper in the stitched man's mouth going deeper then before. Kakuzu's gag reflex at first tightened but relaxed after the fourth thrust, allowing Kisame to go deeper.

The pace picked up once more and Kisame was on the edge of release, Kakuzu could tell by the way his balls tightened and his lower muscles started to tense up. Kakuzu released his grip on the balls and pushed his hand further back to the hole and shoved two fingers inside Kisame. Kisame's teeth gritted together as he swore and bucked his hips harder, as the fingers came out only to be roughly shoved back in at a fast pace. Kisame through his head back as his release hit him harder then ever. He creamed inside of Kakuzu's mouth in hard jerking movements. Kakuzu licked up all the cum that had escaped out of his mouth. Causing Kisame's hips to jerk every time his tongue hit the very sensitive tip of him. Kakuzu stood up and Kissed the shark holding his head, Kisame's arms went around his waist . Kisame could taste him self in Kakuzu's mouth causing him to grow hard once more.

The kiss ended when Kakuzu tried to turn Kisame around.

"Not this time you fairy! I told you I have to leave on a mission!"

"You had your fun, now let me have mine."

"I didn't ask you to do anything! You did it on your own!"

"But you enjoyed it. Now your going to let me enjoy my self."

"Like hell you are!"

"We could wrestle over it a bit more. But you did see the results of that the past couple of times didn't you?"

"Yes, but his time it's going to be different."He said with a shark toothed grin.

Kisame threw him back and Kakuzu responded by lunging at him and taking a hold of his arms. He pinned him down on the first desk with his covered erection pressing hard into Kisame's naked butt. He gave Kisame a hard thrust and that dug his hips and erection into the desk, causing a groan of pain.

"The result was the same"

"Do you believe that?" Kisame groaned as his hips were still pressed hard against the desk edge.

"Does it look like your in a position to talk?" Kakuzu hissed as his hips gave Kisame a hard shove.

Threads started to emerge out of the stitched man as he dropped his pants and stepped out of them. Kisame did the same since they were around his ankles anyways. Just as his threads touched Kisame's skin, Kisame grabbed his chakra eating sword Samehada and swung it back at Kakuzu. Kakuzu sprung back but not far enough due to the size of the tiny room they were in. The sword landed on him from the side and rested on his shoulder. The greedy sword went to work immediately eating the stitched man's chakra at an alarming speed. Kakuzu had little time to react knowing that if Kisame should choose to pull back, the sword would shred his skin. Which could possibly mean more stitches to worry about. He kept still until Kisame raised his sword high into the air and placed it down. He was smirking, as Kakuzu was glaring deadly at him. Kakuzu was weakened with very little chakra left.

"Now what were you saying about the result being the same?"

"Your plan has worked to your advantage, good job Blue."

Kisame walked over to Kakuzu, well more like a sexy, sly, strut. Kakuzu didn't bother to move any as the shark grabbed his face roughly and forced a passionate kiss on the weakened stitched man. Kisame forced Kakuzu up on the desk and forced his legs apart and wrapped his arms around his waist in a tight hard grip. Forcing the two to be crushingly together, with both of their erections in between them rubbing hard as Kisame gave hard sharp hip jerking movement. Kakuzu forced his tongue into Kisame's mouth, and his hands went around Kisame's shoulders. The rubbing made Kakuzu moan into Kisame's mouth and he gripped his arms around his shoulders pulling his closer. He to began to move his hip in a rocking motion. Kisame pulled away and moved back a bit.

Kisame pulled Kakuzu off of the desk and turned him around, so he was now facing the wall with Kisame right behind him. Kakuzu steadied himself with his hands as Kisame forced his legs apart. Kakuzu grunted as Kisame's hand reached around and took hold of his enormous manhood with one hand, and started a slow tight pulling actions from base to end. Kakuzu grew more hard causing his the tip of his erection to hit the cold wall in front of him, sending a good tingling sensations through him. He braced him self as the sharks hand pulled his pole forward but not back down. Stitches started to move his hips to the pulling action, causing him to let precum drip from the tip of him. Kisame squeezed all of it on to his fingers and let go of the large, rock hard pole. Kisame brought his hand to the back and with his other hand he put on the stitched man's shoulder shoving him forward so his back end was out further. The shark kicked his legs further apart, as his hand with the cum in it spread it around the tight anus.

Kisame pushed two fingers inside hard and fast. Receiving a grunt of pain from Kakuzu. He did it a couple of more times, getting the same reaction each time from him. Kisame's hand wrapped around his swollen member as he placed the tip of his erection to the hole and pressed inwards. Kakuzu hissed in pain pushed his hips out further to meet Kisame's push. (I was going to put head but used tip, I couldn't stop laughing at that!) Once Kisame's tip was in he grabbed a hold of Stitches hips and thrust himself in half way before pulling out, only to do it so roughly again. Kisame could feel the man stretch and tear a bit trying to adjust to the shark man's large size. Kakuzu groaned as he was pounded hard into the stone wall. By the sixth thrust Kisame was able to fit all of him self inside and fresh blood from inside was a good lubricant. The Shark pounded hard as both men's breath became labored and glistening sweat broke from both of them and it rolled down their bodies. The sound of flesh slapping flesh was the only thing that was heard in the room. Kisame reached around once more and took hold of the nature blessed thickness of the other man and began to pump his hand back and forth. Kakuzu put his hand over Kisame's adding more strength and a faster pace to his hand job. Kisame suddenly thrust harder sending Kakuzu hard into the wall in front of him.

Stitches cursed" Kisame are you trying to kill me?"

"Maybe!"

"Why?"

"Payback is a bitch, especially if your being treated like one!"

Kakuzu just grunted in return, he placed his arm against the wall with his head resting on it as the other hand braced him. Kisame licked the back of his neck and placed hard kisses and love bites. Kakuzu took the pounding and jerked when Kisame hit the right spot, he moaned in pleasure. You could hear the smile in Kisame's voice.

"So that's the sweet spot huh?"

The only answer he got was another groan as he purposely hit it a couple of more times. Kisame let go of the man's cock and gripped both hands back on his hips so hard that it would leave bruises later. He pumped his hips and Kakuzu worked on his own erection moaning loudly and forcing himself on to the enormous erection impaling him. Hitting the sweet spot over and over, Kisame could tell that Kakuzu was reaching his end as he felt the stitched man's groin area tighten making his hole tighter around Kisame's erection. Kisame in complete ecstasy bite down hard on to Kakuzu's shoulder, drawing blood with his razor sharp teeth. Kakuzu came all over the wall in front of him in jerking movement as he squeezed the last drop of cum out of himself. Kisame pumped animalisticly into the stitched man, Kisame lost it when he felt Kakuzu's anus squeeze him when ever Stitches body jerked. Kisame pounded harder then ever as he released himself inside Kakuzu he swore out loud, filling the stitched man with so much cum it leaked down his legs. Kisame's hips twitched as he emptied the last of his cum inside. He then leaned himself against Kakuzu's well muscled stitched back as he licked up the blood from his love bite.

Both men were breathing hard and covered in sweat, and seemed to be weak kneed from the intimate hardcore experience. Kisame waited until some of his erection went down so he could ease out of Kakuzu's easily with less pain for him. How sweet huh? Kakuzu groaned as the large member left him feeling empty. Kisame's legs regained their strength back, so he went over and picked up his jogging pants and slipped them back on. He turned to Kakuzu who was still against the wall using it to hold him up. His legs still weak and shaky, Kisame came over with his pants and helped him into them. Pulling them up Kakuzu moved slowly back to his desk, feeling discomfort as he sat down, he bolted back up.

"Would you like some help?" Kisame smirked with his handsome shark toothed grin.

"Shut up and let me get my work done!" Kakuzu shot back angrily.

"If you walk like a cowboy it really helps!"

"Oh for the love of money!"Kakuzu yelled as he tried to chase Kisame from the room. :)

--------------------------------------------------------------------The End of My Pervy Yaoi!------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OMG! OMG! OMG! I did it! I made Kisame SEME! And Kakuzu UKE! That took along time in between babysitting and everyday life I did it! YAY! I turned Kakuzu into a man whore! His butt is no longer a Virgin! lol Well except for other peoples work like yours Jen and others! So in my FanFic world his butt is virgin no more! My Sharkman screwed Stitches! Go team Sharkman and Stitches! Make everyones Yaoi dreams come true! As you can tell I now need to get some sleep, for I might be going a bit insane. I hide it well huh? Please Review if you love Kisame and Kakuzu! Or I may never write one again! Hehehe! Bribery is my only option! lol :)