A/N: I hope you'll all enjoy it!! It's going to have both Zoro x Sanji and Sanji x Zoro. That's right, they both get to be uke and seme. There's even some Luffy x Nami hints/implications, too. It's chalk full 'o lovin'! But it's primarily Zoro and Sanji.
To a sweet person and awesome friend …This story is dedicated to MaiAkemi.
Disclaimer: One Piece and its characters all belong to Eiichiro Oda.
Rating: T (Probably will go up in the future)
He lost. And he couldn't believe it. He didn't even understand it himself why he took the bet in the first place. It could have been the look in Sanji's eyes; the determination that drove him to accepting the bet; that annoying sneer reserved especially for him whenever Sanji wanted to fight. Or maybe it was due to the fact that the bet itself was so ridiculously absurd.
Whatever the case, Roronoa Zoro was mentally slapping himself for getting involved.
Rolling over in his hammock, Zoro was having trouble going to sleep. Usually, this was never an issue. But tonight was different. Tonight was the end of his freedom forever … well, at least for a week.
"A week that will last forever," Zoro grumbled, shifting uncomfortably. Closing his eyes and sighing, Zoro replayed the day's events in his head.
The day had started off normal enough. They had just departed from a large island and had stocked up enough for months. Usually, they never would have gotten so much, but Nami informed them that the next island was considerably farther away from their current position, so stocking up would be beneficial.
And just like every other time before, everyone was assigned to get certain items while Sanji took care of the food.
When everyone regrouped at the Going Merry, it was the late afternoon.
Everything was still going smoothly: Luffy was ordering Sanji for meat, Sanji was yelling at Luffy to shut the hell up and wait for dinner, Usopp dashed madly off to a corner of the ship to tinker with some gadgets he'd bought in town, Chopper was watching Usopp in awe, Nami was sitting comfortably in her chair watching the sun set, Robin was reading a book, and Zoro decided he'd go have a nap before dinner.
And when Sanji called that dinner was ready, no one could have imagined that this slowly ending day would take a most unexpected turn.
As usual, Luffy was stretching everywhere and taking anything he could whether it was on the table or on someone's plate. The dinner progressed silently and quickly. And as soon as he was done, Luffy went flying out on deck and demanded that Usopp go fishing with him. Shoving a few more pieces of food in his mouth, Usopp followed Luffy out on deck and proclaimed, "We'll use the new fishing rods I just invented! They catch anything and everything!"
"Wai! Cool!" Luffy exclaimed, following Usopp.
Eventually, Nami and Robin excused themselves as well for the night. "Dinner was delicious, Sanji!" Nami remarked, smiling.
"Oh! Thank you for such a gracious compliment, Nami-san!" Sanji swooned. "You, Marimo," Sanji retracted, face hardening, "Help me with the dishes."
Zoro grumbled and stood up, "Why not have Chopper help you?"
"Cause I asked you," Sanji said turning from him and turned on the sink.
"Whatever," was all Zoro could grumble as he made his way over to the sink next to Sanji.
The washing and drying of the dishes was going extremely slow tonight. It could be due to the fact that Zoro didn't put his full effort into it and was constantly being scolded by Sanji that he was doing a shitty job. Of course, it could also be due to the sheer amount of dishes that needed to be cleaned in the first place.
Whatever it was, the agonizing repetitiveness of washing and drying was driving both men up a wall. The sounds of laugher due to Usopp and Luffy would occasionally drift through the window, dulling the severity of the experience.
And while Zoro was washing what seemed to be his 900th dish, Sanji suddenly thought aloud, "You think Luffy's ever had sex before?"
Almost dropping the dish, Zoro stared at Sanji with wide eyes. "Wh-what?!" Zoro asked, shocked.
"I'm just wondering," Sanji said, continuing to clean the dishes like he hadn't said something totally insane, "He's gotta have urges just like the rest of us."
"Doubt it," Zoro answered gruffly, reaching for another plate, "He probably doesn't even think sexual thoughts."
"You can't be serious," Sanji replied, turning the sink off, "He is an adolescent man, after all."
"Not everyone is a perverted sexual deviant like you."
"So, you don't think Luffy is capable of having sexual fantasies?"
"I didn't say that. He can fantasize about whatever the hell he wants."
"But he can't act on them?"
Zoro glared at Sanji, and shouted, "What the hell should it matter anyway? I'm sure Luffy's naturally potent enough to have sex and enjoy it. Why are you asking me all this anyway?"
"Just curious," Sanji mumbled, "I bet he's already had sex."
"Meh," Zoro replied, tossing the washing rag over his shoulder.
"I bet he's had sex on the ship too."
Zoro turned suddenly and started laughing. "Ha! No he hasn't."
"Well, I bet he has."
"No, he hasn't."
"Yes, idiot, he has."
Zoro was about to retort when Sanji thrust a hand out. "Bet on it," he declared, excitement gleaming in his eye.
Zoro merely stared at Sanji's open hand. He glanced from it to Sanji's face and back again. "Or are you afraid you'll lose," Sanji smirked.
Zoro's hand shot out before he could grasp the concept of what he was agreeing to. Okay, so they were betting on whether or not Luffy has had sex or not, but there had to be a catch. "How does the winner benefit in all this?"
Sanji's smirk grew into a smile. "Let's just say that the loser has to be the other's slave for a week."
Slave for a week? Sanji couldn't be serious. He was throwing his freedom away so easily. There was no way Luffy had had sex yet. Sanji couldn't be that dumb, could he?
Smiling evilly, Zoro tightened his grip on Sanji's hand and proclaimed, "Deal. It's your loss anyway, you perverted cook."
Laughing, Sanji turned to Chopper who was still sitting in the kitchen reading a medical book. "And, Chopper, you're the witness to this bet. That means when the idiot over here tries to pry his way out this, you can back me up and guilt trip him."
"Um, ok," Chopper replied looking back and forth between the crazed smile on Sanji's face and the sinister grin on Zoro's face.
"Ahh! Crap!" Usopp shouting, throwing down his pole. He hadn't managed to catch anything in the last hour. "Usopp! These suck!" And, apparently, Luffy wasn't having any luck either.
Sighing, Usopp was about to give his Glorious Usopp Fishing Rod one more cast before throwing in the towel, when, suddenly, the door to the galley burst open and out came a very demented looking Zoro and Sanji as well as one horrified reindeer.
Marching past Usopp, the two men stood directly behind Luffy and shouted, "Luffy!"
Turning around, Luffy looked up into the faces of his swordsman and cook and smiled, "Hey guys! What's up!"
"Do you know what sex is?" Zoro asked quickly.
"You know, the birds and the bees talk?" Sanji added hastily.
"Sex?" Luffy asked, cocking his head to the side, "Sure I know about it. Why?"
"You see! I knew he'd know!" Sanji shouted excitedly, pointing at Luffy.
"That doesn't prove anything," Zoro snorted.
"Are you two … going to ask Luffy … about … sex advice?" Usopp question, slightly shocked.
"No!" they both shouted at once, turning on Usopp.
"Well, good," Usopp replied, "Cause, if you were, you were totally asking the wrong guy. Now, if you had asked me, the Great Captain Usopp, I could have told you everything there is to know about sex!"
"Really, Usopp?!" Luffy asked, excited.
"Of course!" Usopp proclaimed, pointing his noise in the air, "I've had sex countless times and know all the tricks!"
"Really?!" Chopper joined in, eyes gleaming, "That's so cool, Usopp!"
"Yes, I know," Usopp said, striking a pose. "That's the Great Captain Usopp for ya."
"Anyway," Zoro interrupted, pushing Usopp over, "We were just wondering, Luffy …"
"If you've ever had sex before!" Sanji finished.
Luffy just crossed his arms and looked at the two. "Huh? Yeah. Is that it?"
"Wait, what?!" Zoro stumbled, "Luffy? You've had sex?!"
"Yeah! Lots of times!"
"You can't be serious!" Usopp screeched, recovering from the fall, "You're just joking, right?"
"Nope," Luffy said, nodding his head, "Lots and lots of times."
"Lots and lots? Luffy, are you sure you know what sex is?"
"Yeah! That's what Nami called it!"
"Huh?! How does Nami-san know that you've had sex?" Sanji interrupted, grin leaving his face.
"Because that's what she told me we did."
"WHAT?!" Sanji, Zoro, Usopp, and Chopped stared at Luffy with wide eyes and mouths gaping.
"You and Nami-san … together?" Sanji whimpered slightly.
"Yeah!" Luffy laughed, noticing the looks on his crew members faces.
It was at this time that Nami and Robin decided to join the boys on deck to see what was going on and what all the screaming was about. But they barely took a few steps before Zoro screamed, "You had sex with Luffy?!"
Nami just blushed and looked around wildly, "Wh-what are you talking about, Zoro?" Nami laughed, glancing shiftily back and forth.
"Oh, Nami-san!" Sanji wailed, crying into his sleeve, "It is true!"
"Luffy already told us," Usopp replied, trying to sooth Sanji.
Nami, suddenly becoming extremely red in the face from embarrassment and anger, marched over to Luffy and proceeded to smack him around a couple hundred times.
"Ow, Nami! What the heck!" was all Luffy could cry.
Suddenly, demonic laughter rang out from the crew. Nami stopped beating up Luffy and turned to the source of the sound. "Sanji?"
Flinging himself from Usopp's side, Sanji bent his head low and continued to laugh. "Got you," he said, lifting his to gaze right to Zoro's eyes.
"Got you?" Usopp repeated, "What's that mean?"
The only answer to his question was Zoro shouting, "Ah, shit!"
And the crew couldn't have been more confused.
"Ok, they both finally lost it," Nami sighed, shaking her.
"Oh! That's right!" Chopper exclaimed, "Zoro has to be Sanji's slave for a week!"
"What? Why?" Robin said, joining the conversation.
"That was their bet," Chopper continued, "Sanji bet Zoro that Luffy has had sex before. Zoro didn't think that he had, and the loser had to be the other's slave for a week."
"Almost makes you feel sorry for Zoro," Nami laughed, looking at the cackling Sanji and hostile Zoro.
"What? Zoro's Sanji's slave? I want Zoro to be my slave!" Luffy shouted, not really grasping the concept of the whole situation.
Joining in the laughter, Usopp walked over to Sanji and bellowed, "Oh man, Sanji! That's hilarious! What are you gonna make him do?"
"Oh, I've got some things planned, my friend," Sanji smirked, finishing his laughter.
Walking over to Zoro, Sanji grabbed his face in one hand, inched his face extremely close to his, and hissed, "Sleep well, Marimo. Cause in the morning, your ass is mine."
"Bastard," Zoro muttered, glaring at Sanji's sleeping form across the room.
Shifting uncomfortably one final time before drifting off to sleep, Zoro cursed Sanji's name until his eyelids began to feel heavy.
Damn it; he knew he shouldn't have woken up this morning.
-End of Chapter One-
A/N: I hope you liked it so far! I have some wonderful things planned for Zoro, courtesy of Sanji. Reviews are always welcomed, and thanks for reading!