Title: Without You

Rating: Mature

Author: darkalbino, illi, me (me, myself, and I)

Well. It's official. I've had my taste of Angst/Drama/Darkness, and now, ideas are popping in like there's no fucking tomorrow. But HUMOR is still my forte! and it always shall be damnit!

but not this story. this was inspired after a sad documentary I saw and I really hope everyone enjoys it!

Summary: It's only in the face of loss that we realize what we have, "What am I supposed to do without you?"

Warnings: SasuNaruSasu (yes, Naru gets a little dominant), attempted suicide, language, fighting (slightly), heated kissing and some adult content

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, then I wouldn't be sitting here writing this would I now? That's right, no, I wouldn't. I would be whipping animators and forcing them to work unreasonable hours drawing SasuNaru smut while I hang over them, breathing down their necks and drooling all over their shoulders.

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xxxWithout Youxxx

The sun was bright and heavy during lunch break at Konoha high. Its rays hot, beating down upon the rooftop of the south building, upon the two seniors who sat there.

To anyone else but themselves, the boys would seem an odd pair.

One with brilliant, sun-kissed blonde hair that spiked out every which way. Deeply tanned skin and eyes so blue, they could be reflecting the clear sky itself. His lips were stretched out into a dazzling smile, and six curious lines marred his rounded face, three on each cheek.

He had shed his school jacket in an effort to cool himself from the unusually hot day. The top two buttons of his shirt parted, revealing the smooth skin of his chest. He had undone his cuffs and rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, his tie lay abandoned next to his knee.

Right beside him sat the other boy, a polar opposite. His eyes and hair were a cool black, gelled and set to perfection, not a strand out of place. While the blonde sat slouched and relaxed, this boy had an air of elegance about him as he sat erect but showed no signs of discomfort. And though it was unlike him to mess with his uniform during school hours, the heat had coaxed him to copy the other boy and rid himself of his jacket as well, sleeves rolled up just the same. His lips were pressed in a thin line, showing no real form of emotion. And his own tie hung loosely about his neck.

They couldn't be more different. A stranger would never guess that these two boys were in reality, best friends.

Though they looked nothing like it. A clumsy, smiling, goof of a blonde with one serious, stoic, genius of a raven. One would be led to think these two would want to be at least three planets away from each other at all times. Not that they had been obsessed and inseparable from each other since third grade.

Perhaps, at first, things had been a bit tense. Their adverse personalities drawing them into insults and quarrels until punches were thrown and skin was broken.

Not to say that hadn't continued over the years.

But what people saw as a formula for trouble, the boys eventually found to be one of completion. They complemented each other. Each carried something that the other didn't, couldn't have. And this brought them closer. From hated enemies, to reluctant acquaintances, to rival friendship.

Violent words or actions became routine and playful, no longer holding the seriousness they once did. And they'd been in so many fights with one another, verbal and physical, that the number had simply become a meaningless blur.

They trusted each other, possessed a bond that went deeper than any connection they had with anything or anyone else.

They couldn't picture one of them without the other. Two halves of a whole.

"Dobe." Sasuke drawled.

Naruto jumped, his friend's voice slicing through his thoughts with easy precision.

A perfect, pale nose scrunched up, "What's wrong with you, dobe? You're very quiet today."

Naruto blinked owlishly before letting out his hundred watt smile again. He wiped an arm across his brow, to sweep up the sweat that had collected there, "Nothing's wrong, teme. It's just hot is all." he reached down and untucked his shirt from the hem of his blue pants, undoing two more buttons from the tail.

He leaned back on his hands, drawing one leg up and leaving the other to lay on the roof, angled towards Sasuke.

"Hn."

Naruto pouted at his friend's signature response, shifting slightly when Sasuke turned to him with a smirk, "If I didn't know you better, I'd say you were actually thinking about something."

Naruto frowned, sensing that there was an insult somewhere in there.

But Sasuke was right on the money, as always. He had been reminiscing about their relationship, because he had something he desperately wanted to ask the raven. But...he was afraid it might have an affect on their friendship, a bad one.

So he snorted softly, "C'mon Sasuke" he played, "we both know I don't think."

Sasuke stared at him. The twitch in the blonde's mouth, his finger tapping repeatedly against the cement beneath them, the way his blue, blue eyes were shifting and glancing at everything but him.

Signals the idiot probably wasn't even aware he was sending, "You're nervous about something."

Naruto paused, his gaze trailing down to his foot, "What makes you say that?"

"Well for one thing,"

Naruto flinched as fingers grabbed his chin, jerking his head to Sasuke's direction. Their eyes locked, "you're not looking at me." he finished.

Naruto stayed silent, searching the other's features before grabbing his hand and pulling it away, "Well sorry if I don't want to stare and drool at you like everyone else." he muttered sarcastically. A light flush rising to his cheeks as he remembered what he wanted to ask the boy.

Sasuke smiled, "And now we're blushing." he stated teasingly. "You have something you want to tell me, eh Naruto?"

Naruto started and looked down, bangs shadowing his eyes. Sometimes, it was frustrating how easily Sasuke could read him, "Shut up Sasuke-teme! It's not that easy!"

Sasuke cocked his head to the side, wondering what Naruto could want to say that can make him so flustered. He sighed, "Dobe, you know you can tell me anything."

Naruto made an unsure whine, "Yeah...but..."

"Why are you being such a woman? I won't laugh, if that's what you're afraid of."

Naruto's head shot up, pissed at having his gender insulted, "You asshole! I'm not a girl and I'm not afraid you'll laugh at me! You always laugh at me!"

His smile widened as he stared at the tan teen, expectant.

Naruto blushed harder under the gaze, his bottom lip coming out in a pout, "It's..." he began. But he stopped, relaxing and licking his lips, "It's just...I wanted to ask you something." he murmured quietly.

Sasuke raised a fine brow, "Ask me something?"

Naruto opened his mouth but closed it again, nodding instead.

"Well, spit it out dobe, we don't have all day."

Naruto bit his lip, flush going deeper.

Sasuke was growing frustrated. What could Naruto possibly want to say that he couldn't just come right out and say it?

He stilled suddenly, a thought occurring to him.

What if...Naruto...could he...

"What the hell are you afraid of?"

Naruto scowled, "I just don't want you to get pissed at me, geez."

Sasuke could only think of one thing the blonde would be this hesitant about telling him...confessing to him. And if that was the case, then Sasuke was going to draw it out, if it was the last damn thing he did, "I get pissed at half the things that come out of your mouth, one more won't hurt."

He waited for the other's response, but the boy seemed to be thinking again. Fisting and unfisting his shirt, fidgeting and blushing, eyes unfocused.

Another command bubbled up in Sasuke's throat, ready to scream at the blonde to get the fuck on with it.

But Naruto spoke first, "What do you think..."

Sasuke flinched just the slightest bit. Think? His stomach flipped, "About what?" he asked softly.

Naruto's blush came back full force, a stray wind ruffling his hair and shirt. A pink tongue darted out to moisten his lips, "About...me..."

Sasuke's heart began hammering in his chest, his palms grew warm and a light flush rose to his cheeks. He couldn't help the stupid smile that stretched his features, "Naruto, I-"

"and Sakura."

Pause.

Nothing.

Blue eyes flicked up to the other, who's lips were parted in what seemed like shock...and some other emotion that Naruto, had it not been that he was looking at Sasuke, would label as hurt.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, his jaw tightening, "What?" he seethed.

Naruto started and looked away. He KNEW it had been a bad idea to ask. "Well, I mean...do you...like her?"

"No." Sasuke snapped, not liking where this conversation was headed.

Naruto seemed to brighten considerably at this response, "Oh man! What a relief! That's GREAT Sasuke! So you wouldn't mind if I asked her out, right? I mean, I was kinda scared cuz, you know, she's always around you and I thought maybe you liked her too. I didn't want to mess up our friendship over a girl, but if you don't like her like that, then I should ask, right? I should-"

"Naruto shut up!" Sasuke yelled out, cutting off Naruto's rambling.

Naruto jerked, surprised by the outburst.

Sasuke growled and began dressing himself again, rolling down his sleeves and setting the cuffs. His anger so prominent, that his often stoic face could not hold it's usual indifference.

Naruto blinked and sat straight, watching his friend dress, "What's wrong?"

"You." Sasuke muttered, straightening his tie.

"Me?" Naruto frowned, brows knitting, "What the hell did I do?"

Sasuke snorted and stood up, jacket fisted his hand. He turned and began walking towards the stairwell.

Naruto's jaw dropped, "Sasuke? Sasuke!" he scrambled to his feet, trailing after the other and placing a hand on his shoulder.

Sasuke almost reflexively whirled around and shoved the blonde away with a rough push.

Naruto stumbled, "The fuck is your problem?!" he yelled before shoving the other back with a hand against his shoulder.

Sasuke sneered and harshly pushed Naruto back with both hands, "YOU dobe! You're my fucking problem!"

Naruto threw his arms up, "Christ Sasuke! If you like Sakura just tell me-"

He didn't get to finish as a fist connected painfully with his cheek, sending him a few steps back.

Cobalt eyes were wide with shock for a moment before burning with fire, he lunged for the boy.

Naruto tackled Sasuke to the ground and closed a fist, bringing it down against Sasuke's jaw and hearing the satisfying clink of teeth.

He grinned. But his victory didn't last long, smile falling away when another fist dug itself into his stomach, causing him to double over.

He tasted blood at the corner of his mouth before suddenly being flung onto his back, Sasuke straddling him quickly.

Naruto coughed and reached up, yanking Sasuke's tie to pull him close to his face.

Sasuke mirrored him, bunching the blonde's shirt and holding him closer as well.

With his free hand, Naruto wiped the blood from his lip and glared, "What the fuck is the matter with you?!" he asked again, voice hoarse.

And Sasuke growled again, jerked the boy until their noses touched, "How could you ask me such a stupid question? Why do you want to be with her?"

"Sasuke! If you like her-"

"I don't LIKE her baka! Why do you?!"

Naruto shook his head, the situation confusing him, "I don't know! She's pretty? She's nice? What the hell do you want me to say?"

Sasuke shook him, eyes burning, "She doesn't like you."

Naruto gaped at him, a pang in his chest, "How do you know?"

"She doesn't Naruto! She doesn't care about you!"

"How the fuck would you know who does and doesn't care about me?!"

"I just DO dumbass!"

"How?! Tell me how!"

"Because I care about you!"

"Well you don't matter!"

As soon as the words were out, Naruto regretted them. He didn't know...why had he said that? Of course Sasuke mattered. Sasuke was the only one who mattered. How could he say something like that?

His hand slowly slid away from the tie, falling loosely around Sasuke's wrist instead.

The raven was utterly still, his face twisted and struggling between emotions he was not used to showing.

Naruto wanted to kick himself. He wanted to grab the words and shove them back down his throat until he choked on them. He tightened his hold, "Sasuke...I...I didn't mean it-"

"Shut up." Sasuke whispered.

Naruto flinched. He felt Sasuke slowly pull him forward until he was harshly forced to the ground, head bouncing once painfully on the cement, "Just shut up Uzumaki!"

The blonde stayed silent at the treatment, despite the throbbing pain that now assaulted his head. He deserved that. That and so much more for what he had said.

He opened his eyes, which had closed at the impact, and looked up into two black voids centimeters from his own.

Sasuke continued to glare at him, "She doesn't care about you Naruto." he muttered.

Naruto let out a shaky breath, for some reason very aware of how close their bodies were pressing, and the warm words that swept over his face.

Sasuke's lips parted to say something, but closed, his eyes revealing nothing. Then he seemed to reconsider, like coming to a decision, and opened again, "Not like I do." he said.

Naruto stared at him with a light blush, not so sure that this conversation was still centered on Sakura. It seemed to have begun circling around themselves.

Sasuke picked him up again by his shirt, so his upper back arched off the ground, "And I don't give one damn" he slammed him back down, "whether or not I matter to you."

Naruto felt himself take an involuntary gasp of air, his stomach plunged.

But Sasuke wasn't finished, "Because that doesn't change the fact that you" he yanked the blonde up again, "matter to me."

And before Naruto could let the words sink in, he realized, that they were kissing.

Well, more like Sasuke was pressing insistently against him with his mouth and Naruto was too stunned to do anything about it.

Once more, Naruto felt himself pushed to the ground, Sasuke's lips still mashed against his own. The pain in his skull erupted again, causing a quick breath that opened his mouth.

Sasuke's tongue dove in. And when it slowly slid against Naruto's with one slow, devastating caress, the blonde could no longer tell if his heart was still beating.

He'd never been kissed like this before. Despite that this was a boy on top of him, he wanted to respond. But aside from his eyes being shut, his mind wasn't connected to his body. Sasuke continued to kiss him, even though he lay there like a lifeless corpse.

Naruto didn't know how long they'd been this way. It couldn't have been more than a few seconds, yet, it felt like hours. Sasuke's actions ignited a flame. His body began to burn at the fingertips and eat away at his veins, and he knew it couldn't be the sun's heat, because the fire was coursing from inside of him. Flowing down his legs and curling his toes within his shoes.

Sasuke was breathing heavily through his nose, the exhaled heat dancing over their lips.

Hot. Naruto could feel the sweat trickling down his cheek. It was far too hot. His chest was heaving from it, from Sasuke's weight, from his own internal fire, from their mingling breathes.

When Sasuke's tongue slid down the inside of his cheek, Naruto's eyes snapped open. He pushed back the shock and urged himself to kiss back, or at least respond in some way to what was happening.

But all that managed to fall from his mouth was a small, pathetic whimper.

He felt Sasuke stop, and, after a moment, pull away.

Naruto's eyes were wide, his face hot and flushed as he stared up at the other boy. The fire receded to his mouth, where it had originated from, every other part of him suddenly overcome by cold.

Sasuke seemed so calm. Like he had just asked about the weather instead of kissing his best friend, who was also a boy.

Naruto still wasn't sure what the hell was going on, but judging by the way Sasuke was staring back at him, it looked as if he was expected to say something.

He swallowed. The moisture doing nothing to help quench his dry throat.

Sasuke sat back up, still straddling him, still expecting a reaction.

Naruto inwardly panicked. What was he supposed to say? What do you say in a situation like this? He didn't know. But if he didn't answer, Sasuke would get mad, and that was the last thing he wanted right now.

Naruto groaned softly, his mind reeling within his pounding head. He licked his lips, "Uh" he began.

'Say something!' his mind screamed, "Um...thanks?"

Naruto blinked twice.

Thanks?

Thanks?! What the hell kind of answer is that?! That's not what you say after someone kisses you! Stupid! STUPID STUPID STUPID! How could something so stupid come out of his mouth?! Why was he saying so much stupid crap today?!

Sasuke's brows knitted, and Naruto waited. For a punch in the face, for a yell at his utter stupidity. Surprisingly, he actually found himself hoping for another kiss, a second chance.

But none of the three came. In fact, Sasuke's reaction was worse than if he would've grabbed Naruto and tossed him over the roof.

Sasuke stood up stiffly, and then calmly began to walk away, picking up his jacket that he'd dropped when Naruto tackled him.

Naruto watched him go and felt his heart pick up speed. He forced himself again to speak, "Sasuke?"

Sasuke didn't turn back. He began his descent down the stairwell, while Naruto lay there on the ground like an idiot.

When only half of the raven was visible, Naruto felt himself get over shock and quickly pushed to his feet, "Sasuke!" he called again. He ran after him, leaving his tie and jacket behind.

He had to clear this up with Sasuke, they couldn't leave things like this.

Sasuke was already out of sight when he reached the stairwell, and he hurried down the steps, hand skimming along the rail, "Sasuke wait!"

He jumped the last three steps and turned into the hallway, breath coming in pants, and bumped into something that made him stumble back.

"Sas-"

"Naruto."

Naruto started and looked up, right into the face of one of his teachers, "I-Iruka-sensei!"

The man sighed, "Naruto..." he looked behind the student, "I'm assuming Sasuke is with you too?"

The blonde shook his head, "No, I have to find-"

"Naruto, what have I told you two about cutting classes?"

"It's lunch!"

"Lunch ended a half-hour ago."

Naruto was only vaguely listening, too busy looking beyond the teacher and seeing that Sasuke was nowhere to be found.

Iruka raised a brow, "What are you looking for?"

"Sasuke."

The man blinked, glancing all around them for the stoic teen, "He isn't with you?" they were often together, Naruto and Sasuke.

"No, he-"

Iruka smiled approvingly, "So he's in class, like you should be."

"I don't know, I have to find him Sensei!"

Iruka ignored his urgency, "What class do you have now?"

"Eh- Anatomy, but-"

He grabbed Naruto's elbow, leading him opposite of the direction Sasuke had gone, "Ahhh, with Kakashi-sensei, right? Well, let's get you to class."

"No! Iruka-"

"Now that's enough Naruto. I will not condone you cutting classes."

"But! Sasuke-"

"Is in his class where he should be."

"Sensei please! I have to look for him!" he cried desperately.

Iruka paused and looked back at the boy, his eyes suddenly widening, "Naruto...what on earth happened to your uniform?"

Naruto flinched, looking down at his unbuttoned shirt and overall ruffled appearance, "Uh...it- it was hot."

"Where's your jacket? And your tie?"

Naruto laughed and scratched his cheek with a sheepish smile, "Aha...the roof." he confessed, knowing full and well that the roofs of the school buildings were off limits to students.

"The roof?" Iruka asked, incredulous. He sighed again, giving Naruto a you-know-better-than-that look, "Naruto...I'll give you a pass to get you through the rest of the day. But from now on you make sure you're appropriately dressed for school and you stay out of restricted areas."

Naruto grunted as Iruka tugged at him again, "Gah! Sasuke!"

"That's enough talking Naruto, be glad I'm letting you off the hook so easily...again."

"But-"

"Ne!"

"He-"

"Nuh!"

"I-"

"Nope!"

Naruto groaned and bit his lip, realizing that he wasn't getting out of this. He looked back longingly down the hallway, wishing that Sasuke would come back so they could talk.

He sighed softly. It wasn't so bad, he supposed. He needed a little time to sort out how he felt about...kissing Sasuke. Or really, Sasuke kissing him. Then he would find his friend later.

And everything would be fine.

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Everything. Everything and everywhere.

It wasn't enough.

Naruto tugged at Sasuke's hair, forcing him to drag his tongue further up his chest.

Naruto wanted Sasuke to do everything to him, and he wanted him to do it anywhere he could. But fucking Sasuke, the asshole was such a goddamn tease.

Naruto wanted more.

Coal eyes looked up at him, pink lips curled into a smirk, "You're impatient, Uzumaki."

"You're a bastard."

"And you're greedy." Sasuke chuckled, slowly wrapping his fingers around Naruto's pulsing penis, pressing his thumb into the tip and causing Naruto to arch and tug again.

He let out a heavy breath, "I'm not."

"Oh but dobe, you are. You're a very greedy person." he stated before squeezing the organ in his grasp.

Naruto growled and jerked Sasuke's head to the side harshly by the hair, eliciting a pained gasp that made him smirk, "Get on with it, Uchiha."

Sasuke ignored his command and let go, pulling himself up until he was straddling the blonde, brushing his backside teasingly along the tan boy's member. He smiled, "You want me to fuck you, Naruto. And I know you wanna fuck me too. You don't want to share me."

Naruto quickly grabbed at pale hips, "No." Sasuke was his.

Sasuke snickered, "And that, baka," he leaned forward, moving one finger behind him to probe at Naruto's hole, "that makes you greedy."

"Yes." he moaned at the invading finger, and placed one of his own at Sasuke's entrance, which made the raven grab his arm with his free hand and force it against the bed.

"Hn. You want me, don't you, usuratonkachi."

"Yes."

"Ah, but you see, I'm greedy too." he brushed his lips across Naruto's, "And I'll have you first."

Naruto gasped sharply and shoved Sasuke back with a hard push. He didn't give one fuck who had who first. He spread his legs as far as he could, presenting himself obscenely for Sasuke. "Aishiteru!" he yelled, desperate. And there was an undertone in the word, so strong, like the emotion in it could not be held back.

Naruto began panting heavily as Sasuke crawled back and hovered over him, arms on either side of his body. Sasuke stared down at him, "And you want me to love you back, don't you Naruto?" he teased.

Naruto shook violently with anticipation as the head of Sasuke's penis pressed into his heat, "Yes." he confessed, "I want you to."

Sasuke smirked and slowly began to lean down, until their lips touched lightly.

Naruto's body tightened at the proximity, and Sasuke reared back slightly.

And dove in...

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Naruto's eyes snapped open with a huge gasp of air, his body cold and sweating.

The blonde lay there, panting softly, quickly, his hands fisting the pillow beneath his head as he stared at the ceiling.

Holy...God...

He licked his lips and slowly trailed his gaze to his waist, finding a rather large tent down there.

Naruto let his head fall back against the pillow, "Fuck" he muttered, forcing his breathing to even out and his muscles to relax. His fingers hesitantly released the pillow, sliding down the mattress and under the sheets to clench at his sides.

He took a deep breath and began to will away his erection, still slightly shocked at the dream he'd just had.

With a small shudder, Naruto closed his eyes and opened them again, the blue orbs less foggy now.

He would admit, that that hadn't been the first dream about his friend where they had been...a little more than friends. He usually brushed off those dreams though, labeling them as the physical form to how deeply he cared about Sasuke.

But this one had definitely been the most...vivid...hot...emotional one so far. Probably fueled from that little smooch (understatement of the year) on the rooftop. And it got Naruto thinking. He'd learned once in his psychology class, when he was actually paying attention, that dreams were what lied and revealed themselves in your subconscious because you couldn't face them in reality.

So did that mean...that in reality...Naruto really wanted something more than just friendship with Sasuke?

He sighed softly, remembering that he still hadn't had a chance to talk to Sasuke about what was going on.

But damn, he had tried.

Everything. Everything and everywhere.

Naruto could not think of one thing he hadn't done or one place he hadn't looked that might have led him to Sasuke.

All through last period, Naruto had tried again and again to call Sasuke's cell. He'd left about- no joke- twenty six messages. At least. Sasuke hadn't returned one. And the only reason he hadn't kept calling was because his cell battery had died.

So then he'd opted to look for Sasuke. He tried the boy's house first. And it turned out to be completely empty, with his family being on a trip and him not being there.

Then Naruto tried back at school. He tried the rooftop, the classrooms, hell, the bathrooms. He tried the mall and their spot; a secluded portion of the park by a broken statue of the city's founder.

No luck.

He couldn't think of anywhere else the raven could be. So he'd have to wait until school tomorrow to talk to him.

He came home around seven something, thoughts and feelings still a jumbled mess when he finally managed to fall asleep.

And then, you know...some stuff happened. Along the dirty dreams and cold sweats line.

Naruto's bottom lip came out, his features taking on a pensive look.

On the one hand, him and Sasuke had been friends for years, and known each other since before Naruto could even remember. And for Sasuke to just...go and do that, it confused Naruto.

Yet, that wasn't to say that Naruto hadn't like it. Despite that:

a) Sasuke was...well, Sasuke.

b) Sasuke was a boy.

and c) Naruto had been totally unresponsive.

that kiss was one of the most, if not THE most, amazing things he'd ever experienced. It was also painfully obvious that there was an undeniable physical attraction between them as well.

And if by some God given miracle Sasuke tried to kiss him again, Naruto would by no means push him away or sit like a limp doll.

No.

He would kiss Sasuke back.

Naruto gasped, catching himself. His fingers grasped the sheets, eyes slowly trailing to the window to settle on the night sky.

The decision...it seemed so clear, so simple and...corny as it may sound, so right. It seemed right. He would kiss Sasuke back.

But this led to another question that Naruto had been too self-involved to really consider:

Why had Sasuke kissed him at all in the first place?

He took his bottom lip between his teeth, frustrated, and jerked his gaze from the window to roam over his small apartment.

Oh yes, the Uchiha was in for an earful tomorrow.

To his surprise, "Sasuke" suddenly tumbled from his lips. Fingers flew up to touch them lightly, and he found them trying to imitate the feel of Sasuke's.

He relaxed, heart thrumming in his chest, and fell back into sleep.

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The ringing of a phone caused Naruto to groan and blink groggily. He stared at his nightstand, the phone vibrating in it's hook.

His gaze switched to the clock, 2:55 am.

'Who the hell...' he questioned sleepily, before forcing himself to reach for the phone and pull it to his ear, simultaneously hitting the 'talk' button.

"Hello?" he muttered.

"Goodbye."

Naruto's brow crumpled. Goodbye?

...Why was some high asshole calling him at three in the goddamn morning?

"The fuck is this?" he grumbled.

"Dobe."

Naruto's eyes sprang open. His blood rushing and heart jumping to life, "Sasuke? Sasuke is that you?" he quickly rubbed his eyes and sat up to lean against the headboard of the bed.

"Yeah."

Naruto raked his fingers through his hair furiously, then fisted it, "God, I'm so glad you called. I've been really worried about you man, I looked everywhere for you after school. Where were you?"

"Nowhere."

Naruto felt his lips pull into a frown. Sasuke was never much of a talker, but these one word answers were beginning to sound a little cryptic. "Well...I really wanted to talk to you."

"About Sakura?" he bit out.

Naruto flinched at the tone, "No, teme, about...earlier...on the roof." he felt an involuntary blush rise to his cheeks.

"I'm not in a 'talkin' mood, Naruto."

Naruto slowly raised a brow. Was it just him or...did Sasuke's words sound a little slurred? ...No...no, he was probably just hearing things from lack of sleep, "Then what the hell did you call me for?"

Silence. Sasuke didn't answer. And after a while, Naruto thought he might have hung up, but when he moved to turn off the phone, Sasuke spoke, "To say goodbye."

Naruto blinked, again with the goodbye thing, "Why? You goin' somewhere?"

"...Sorta."

Naruto tilted his head, "Your family call?"

"No."

"Oh...then where are you going? Will you be away for long?"

"Naruto." Sasuke pressed.

The blonde jerked at his name. Not because it was said but rather...the way it was said. There was something about the way Sasuke had said his name. The dead seriousness, the...desperation it seemed to hold...

His lips tightened, "Sasuke? What's wrong? Tell me."

He could hear the other hesitate, "...I...Naruto, I...I took some...pills."

Naruto cocked his head. Pills? What, did he have a headache or something? But that's kind of strange, Sasuke never takes pills for pain. He's way too proud for that.

"Are you hurting? You took some Aspirin or something?"

"Yes...no...I..."

Naruto could hear a shaky breath. Was Sasuke...crying? What the fuck? Sasuke doesn't cry!

It took a moment, but realization finally dawned on him. Blue eyes grew impossibly wide, and his whole body stiffened, "What pills?" he asked quickly, "What do you mean? What the hell did you take Sasuke?!"

"..."

Naruto's blood ran cold, like ice shredding through his veins, "You fucking bastard!" he yelled, jumping off the bed and to his feet, "Where the fuck are you?! Your house?!" he tugged on a pair of jeans from the floor, leaving his undershirt on, gripping the phone with white knuckles, "Don't MOVE Sasuke! Do you hear me damn it?! Don't you fucking move!" he ordered before hanging up and tossing the phone on his bed.

Naruto stormed out of his apartment and made his way to Sasuke's house, not even realizing that he'd left his door wide open.

He dashed down the stairs and began running on the sidewalk, praying to any God that might hear him, that he wasn't too late.

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Naruto stopped right in front of Sasuke's door, not pausing to rest as he raised a fist and started banging repeatedly on the wood, "SASUKE!" bang! bang! bang! "SASUKE OPEN!"

He continued pounding, not getting any response, "SASUKE OPEN THIS GODDAMN DOOR!"

Nothing.

He stopped, panting heavily, "Kuso..." he muttered.

Naruto turned and hurriedly walked around the side of the house, peering up to Sasuke's bedroom window.

It was open.

Hope spread through his chest at this discovery. Without missing a beat, he jumped forward and grabbed onto the lattice that laid against the house, then began to climb.

His fingers poked through the holes of the gate and wrapped around the twining vines.

This was nothing new or difficult for him. They always did this. Sasuke used it to sneak out of his room so they could spend time together at night. And whenever Naruto felt a little too lonesome in his empty home, he came and snuck into Sasuke's room and spent the night here with him.

Naruto felt his face heat up, remembering that he and Sasuke had slept in the same bed, a tangle of limbs and breaths, on more than one occasion.

He pulled himself up, hand curling around the lip of the window until he was able to haul his body up and in half-way.

He raised a leg and used his foot to push himself into the room by jumping off the sill.

Naruto stumbled slightly but righted himself straight. And when his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he saw Sasuke lying motionless. His upper body on the bed and lower half on the floor. His eyes were closed, fingers wrapped loosely around the neck of a bottle that leaked clear liquid onto the carpet drip by drip.

Time seemed to stop, everything watering down to the steady push of Naruto's heart that came louder and louder as he continued to stare at his friend, coming like the tick of a clock.

"Kami-sama..." he whispered, eyes blurring with tears. He stepped forward, lips parted and dry, "You..."

Suddenly, Naruto sprinted to Sasuke's side, the tears streaming down as he quickly rolled him over, the bottle slipping from his hand.

Naruto didn't need to pick it up to determine if it was alcoholic, he could smell it on Sasuke as he pressed his ear to a pale chest.

He let out a sob as a heartbeat reached him.

Naruto stood up, hastily curling his arms under Sasuke and dragging him across the floor to the white-tiled bathroom. His heart jumped when Sasuke let out a soft moan.

Naruto sat him against the toilet and fisted dark locks in both his hands, shaking him violently, "You fucking bastard!" he yelled, the tears non-stop, "Wake up! What the fuck did you DO?!"

Sasuke's eyes parted slightly to black and white slits.

Naruto shook him once more and whirled to the sink, spotting a small bottle of sleeping pills. He grabbed it.

Half empty.

He bit his lip, "Mother fucker..."

He turned back to Sasuke, shaking him roughly and shoving the bottle in his face, "IS THIS WHAT YOU TOOK?! GODDAMN BASTARD! DID YOU TAKE THESE?! HUH?! ANSWER ME DAMNIT!"

Sasuke's head lolled and Naruto threw the bottle down, pills spilling out onto the floor.

Fuck! What should he do? Call an ambulance? No...no, there wasn't time for that.

His eyes widened.

Vomit.

He had to make Sasuke throw up.

Naruto hastily grabbed a cup from the sink and filled it with water, then bent and pushed it to Sasuke's lips, "Drink." he ordered.

Sasuke groaned and swatted the blonde's hand away, "No...let me..." he coughed and slouched.

Naruto growled and dropped to his knees. He pressed fully against Sasuke, grabbing a fistful of black hair and tilting his head back, he pressed the cup to Sasuke's mouth again, "I said drink it!" he yelled and tipped the cup, forcing the liquid past Sasuke's lips.

Coal eyes opened a little wider. The water forcing it's way down his throat as he swallowed reflexively and it mixed with the alcohol.

Not too long after, Naruto threw the cup down after hearing Sasuke gag. He grabbed the pale boy by bunching up the back of his black wife-beater and held him over the toilet bowl, allowing him to empty the contents of his stomach.

When he finished, Naruto looked and saw several small, white pills floating in the bowl. He pulled Sasuke back and sat him against the wall.

He reached down and grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulled it off and bunched it up in his hand, then used it to wipe Sasuke's mouth clean.

But Sasuke was awake now, and he shoved the blonde away, "What the hell are you" he coughed slightly, "doing here?"

Awake and apparently sober.

"What the fuck do you think I'm doing here?!" he threw the shirt down, "I'm saving your bastard ass! What the hell are you trying to do Sasuke?!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "What did it look like, dobe?" he grunted as Naruto abruptly grabbed him by his shirt, pulling him to his feet, "DON'T SIT HERE AND ACT LIKE THIS ISN'T A BIG DEAL YOU ASSHOLE! You just...you just tried to..."

"So what?" Sasuke snapped and pushed the blonde out of the bathroom, getting dragged along with him in the process.

Naruto forced him back against the wall of the dark room, tears falling again.

Sasuke snorted, "Tch, what's with the tears dobe? I thought I didn't matter." he sneered.

Naruto let out a loud sob and slowly slid down to the floor, pulling Sasuke down with him until he was straddling the pale boy, shirt still fisted in his hands, "You know...you know you matter to me Sasuke. Don't bullshit me." he murmured, before whispering, "You goddamn fucking bastard...How...how are you going to go and do some stupid shit like this? Huh? How the fuck could you think I would just let you leave me like that? Sasuke?"

He pressed his forehead against Sasuke's, "You fucking selfish bastard...what am I supposed to do without you? What the hell am I supposed to do?!" he cried through a desperate yell.

Sasuke stared at him with slightly widened eyes, listening intently to words that made his heart flutter.

Another sob broke past pink lips,"Bastard." Naruto muttered, pulling Sasuke to him, "Bastard." he repeated and slammed Sasuke against the wall, then pulled him back again.

"Bastard."

Slam. Pull.

"Bastard!"

Slam. Pull.

"Bastard!"

Slam!

"Naruto!" Sasuke yelled, the pain coming into effect, he grabbed the blonde's wrists to stop him.

Naruto was crying uncontrollably. He reached up and tangled his fingers in Sasuke's hair, pulled him close and began dropping kisses all over his face.

Sasuke felt a very un-Uchiha like blush flood his cheeks, letting go of Naruto's wrists when the boy wrapped his arms around his neck and continued to shower him with kisses. Treating him like a precious thing he'd almost lost.

Maybe because, that's exactly what Sasuke was to Naruto.

He flinched when hot words swam across his ear, "Why did you do this Sasuke?"

Sasuke tilted his head, so their lips came into contact. His tongue darted out to moisten his, the tip tracing along Naruto's in the process, "I" he murmured, "I can't watch you...be with her."

"Who?"

"Her...Sakura..."

Naruto blinked. Sakura? This was about Sakura?

He tightened his hold on Sasuke's hair, "I don't need to go out with Sakura. Especially if you don't want me to, Sasuke-"

"No." Sasuke cut in, "Not her. Nobody. I can't watch you...with anyone."

Naruto went rigid, his dream playing across his mind as Sasuke swallowed, "I don't want you touching, Naruto." he slid his fingers up a bare, tan back, "And I...don't want anyone touching you, the way I can touch you." he wound his arms around him possessively, "Because only I can touch you."

Sasuke knew his words were coming out broken and unclear, but he was speaking straight from his emotions, something he'd never really done before. He knew he was being selfish, but honestly, he didn't give a shit. And he knew there was a chance that Naruto might not love him in the same way that he loved Naruto. The thought that drove Sasuke to do this stupid, desperate, weak thing in the first place.

He'd felt this way about the idiot blonde for years, and he'd stuck it out when Naruto had his one or two little girlfriends. But those girls, Sasuke never had to see them. He never had to watch Naruto kiss them or touch them in ways Sasuke yearned to be touched by him as well, he didn't have to face the fact that Naruto was with someone else.

But Sakura, she was a different story. She went to their school. He would see them in the hallways, see his dobe showing affection to someone other than him.

Sasuke couldn't handle that. And after Naruto's not so positive response on the rooftop...Sasuke hadn't really seen any other way of escaping the inevitable other than disappearing.

Yet, once again Naruto challenged his "genius" status. Did Sasuke honestly believe that Naruto would just let him get away with what he had planned to do?

Sasuke snapped out of his thoughts when Naruto let out a shaky breath. The blonde's heart flipping like a caged animal in his chest. He rubbed his cheek against Sasuke's, "Why did you kiss me?" he whispered.

Sasuke stayed quiet, eyes searching the other's face. He slowly reached up and tangled a hand in blonde hair, "Baka, don't ask me stupid questions." he bit out.

Naruto chuckled quietly, somehow expecting that Sasuke would be too proud to say it outright. But he might as well have screamed it into the tan boy's ear.

Naruto moved his hands to cup Sasuke's face, bringing it to his own and murmuring, "Yeah...I love you too."

Sasuke's breath hitched and he suddenly jerked the blonde closer.

Naruto shivered and placed a hand on the wall behind Sasuke's head, then pushed up slightly on his knees, hovering over him, "Don't ever do this shit again. Do you hear me, bastard? Never."

Sasuke's lips fell apart in a soft sigh. And despite the fact that he had just vomited in a toilet, Naruto found it incredible (and totally fucking unfair) that Sasuke's breath was still alluring, enticing, and reeled him in until their lips pressed in a deep kiss.

Sasuke moaned and dragged his nails down the blonde's back, stopping at his waist to yank him closer.

Naruto growled and pulled Sasuke's hair, forcing his head back as he shoved his tongue into the pale boy's mouth, groaning throatily.

He liked Sakura. She would have been a great girlfriend, one that Naruto would have been perfectly comfortable with. But comfort was not what he was after. Which was someone who made him burst with emotions, someone he'd take a bullet for...someone he'd had all along.

He wanted to punch himself for even considering a date with Sakura. He wanted to punch Sasuke for not kissing him sooner.

Sasuke bucked, causing Naruto to hiss into the kiss and jerk him closer.

He wished he could've figured out years ago, that his feelings for Sasuke went far past companionship or affection or friendship or whatever other bullshit excuse he'd been using to mask how he really felt.

Naruto pulled back and rested his forehead against Sasuke's, both panting softly into the other's smiling mouth. And the fear of losing one another to anything but themselves, faded away.

Because love isn't about finding someone you can live happily with.

No, love it about finding that one person, that you cannot live without.

-Owari-

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aww, I'm so sentimental when I wanna be! and hands down, longest damn one-shot I've ever written, took me about five hours. and sorry to disappoint those of you who were looking for a juicy lemon. but I really wanted this fic to be powerful with emotion instead of just the physical stuff and I felt a lemon at the end would kind of ruin it.

I know I ask for it all the time, but I REALLY REALLY REALLY would like reviews on this one! Pretty please? I worked so hard on it and I tried to make it really emotion driven, and I just want to know if whether or not I succeeded, so maybe I can continue writing similar ones in the future.

and the whole "ew sasuke vomitted and then they kissed" thing. c'mon now, be mature. if you really love someone, i don't think smelly breath is going to stop you from kissing them, especially if you're in such an emotional state as Naruto was. So please don't complain about it in a review because you won't change my mind.

anyway, I really hope you guys liked it! and I'm going to go start back up on my chapter stories now, kay?

ciao loves!