Chapter One
Heart Palpitations

It was actually funny if you thought about it- her love life that is. When she was in high school all the boys passed her by without a second glance. They were on to prettier and less complicated beings. Lulu remembered the day when she had accepted the fact that she just wasn't the "dating" type. She was sixteen and a sophomore in high school.

Brett Becker.

He was on the baseball team and had the most swoon worthy smile she had ever seen. And he sat right next to her in Biology. The moment he would walk into the room she began asking herself questions like "is my hair okay?" and "do I have anything in my teeth?" And he would slide in beside her and say "hey". That one word made the butterflies in her stomach go on a rampage.

He would always ask to borrow a pen when they took notes because he liked how her pen wrote. It was stupid, she knew, but she couldn't bring herself to care. All he had to do was flash that Hollywood smile and Lulu would find herself handing every pen she owned over to him.

He would look over her shoulder during quizzes and goose bumps would break out along her neck where his hot breath hit. She still wondered if he had ever noticed that. Probably not.

"Hey," Brett said, taking his seat next to her.

"Hey Brett," Lulu said back. God, was she twirling her hair? "Good game last night. You guys really brought it home."

"Thanks." Brett looked over his shoulder and then back to Lulu. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure. What's up?"

"You're friends with Danielle right?"

Wait. Wait. Wait. What did Danielle have to do with Brett and Lulu?

"Danielle Gavan?" Lulu asked. Brett nodded. "Yeah, we're friends."

"Cool!" His whole face lit up as he turned his whole body towards Lulu. "Is she seeing somebody or . . ."

You're a good person, Lesley Spencer. You're a good person. You are a good person.

"No," Lulu said, smile fading. "No she's not."

"Awesome," Brett breathed, smile widening.

Ick. The memory still brought a bad taste to her mouth. Well, in the end she was a good person. If she recalled correctly Brett and Danielle were still going strong and attending UCSD together.

"Happy freaking couples and their happy freaking endings," Lulu muttered, resting her chin on her knee.

After Bret she had decided to take the safe route and date Elvis. You can't really go wrong with an imaginary boyfriend, can you? They always say the right thing and never call at a bad time. It was the perfect relationship . . .

And then along came Dillon.

So he really wasn't her most shining moment. She did some stupid things, determined to not let what happened with Brett and Danielle happen again. She had promised herself that if she had ever found a guy that gave her heart palpitations like Brett did she wasn't going to let him go.

Now that she looked back she wasn't sure what Dillon gave was heart palpitations. Maybe he was just a way to rebel and prove the demon inside that said she wasn't meant to be loved wrong. Maybe she just wanted to prove to Brett and Danielle that she could have a happily ever after too.


Look how that turned out for her. A web full of lies and a pregnancy. So she swore off men and the stupid love that they had to offer. It seemed like the best solution.

And then along came Logan.

Now there was a head trip for Lulu. He was the most obnoxious, self-righteous, arrogant, annoying, rude, excuse for a man she had ever met. And yet somehow he had carved a special place for himself in her heart. Him and his stupid pool, s'mores and thumb wrestling. She had stomped Brett and Dillon down and let those scars go- for Logan. She had let him in and practically placed her heart right in his hand. Just in time for him to squeeze it to death.

Lulu remembered the sharp betrayal that had sliced through her when he didn't deny that he had slept with Maxie Jones. Of all the women in the world, he had to sleep with her. Ugh, it still made her shudder in disgust.

She had to thank Logan, though. If he hadn't have done what he did, no matter how vomit inducing it was, it had led her to Johnny.

Oh, Johnny

Now there was a boy with a smile. She remembered thinking he should have been in a toothpaste commercial after she had gotten off the side of the road and into his car.

Yeah- hitchhiking. Another not so shining moment.

There were so many sides to Johnny. He tried to act like nothing in the world mattered, but she knew better. She had seen him talk about his mother and watched as the love and warmth glazed over his eyes and his voice. She remembered the look he held in his eye right before he kissed her.

God. His kisses.

They gave her some serious heart palpitations.

His lips were always soft and demanding against hers. He was dominating but sensitive. Never about himself, but always for her. His hands were rough against her skin, but always gently caressing. He left her lips tingling and her mind only focused on wanting more. He made her feel like a drug addict and he was the most expensive drug there was and she just couldn't afford it.

He really confused her. Kissing her. Saying those things that made her breathing speed up.

The rest of my life is garbage, but when you're around . . .

If love did look like anything- you're right. I should shut up.

I want you, Lulu. What guy in his right mind wouldn't it?

But no he had to be noble and step aside to respect a relationship she wasn't so sure she wanted.

Sometimes, while Lulu was drifting off to sleep she would imagine a universe where it was December of '06 and Johnny decided to go into Kelly's for some coffee and- BAM. There they could have their instant connection and there would be no other obstacles, well besides his crazy father, but whatever- this was her alternate universe and he didn't have to exist, and they could just be Johnny and Lulu.

But then again everything that had happened to her made her who she was. It all shaped the person that was sitting here, throwing herself a pity party- the person that Johnny obviously cared for.

Just like Johnny's mother dying and his father's mental illness shaped the person that kissed her until her insides melted.

If only their lives weren't one big damn soap opera they could be happy.

A/N: So I whipped this up in an hour after the muse struck me. Nothing special, but for some reason I just had to write it. Take pity and comment?