Disclaimer: Harry should have died, enough said.


I Know You Want To Sleep With My Boyfriend


Summary: "It's just, what bloke hasn't had fantasies about shagging the hot transfer student?—Especially the French one, they're almost as bad as Swedish girls."

A sequel to I Know That You Sleep with My Boyfriend, but can be read as a one-shot.


challenge: "the torn clichés"

Assigned cliché: the transfer student

(link at the bottom of the page)


Every morning I pull on them pants
Mmm but I don't get out so much since I acquired St. Vitus dance
I turn the news on a while
I practice my scene
You think things are straight but they're not what they seem
Til you know the two sides of Monsieur Valentine
In his coat and his boots and his blackheart machine
No, no one knows the two sides of Monsieur Valentine

-"the two sides of Monsieur Valentine" by Spoon


"Pfft," Lily scoffed abruptly, sitting back slightly as she glared at a nondescript point.

Elle's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "what's with you?"

Alice smirked knowingly, "I'm going to guess that she's staring at the French whore whose been hanging off her boyfriend ever since she transferred in."

Lily's eyebrows shot up in surprise as she straightened in her seat, "how did you know? Bloody hell, you weren't even looking in that direction, I can't possibly be that obvious," she pouted.

"Oh stop it; you look like a petulant little child. And, besides, I knew because, as much as you try to hide it and deny it, you get jealous easily Evans."

"Wait, wait, wait—why didn't I know about Adèle hitting on James?" Elle asked with a quizzical look.

"More like Slut-Elle," Alice muttered under her breath.

"Translation: she slut, have to admit that I like it, works very well for me," Lily admitted with a smile.

Elle let out an outraged scoff, "Lily, you can't possibly be condoning that, you usually hate it when she comes up with nicknames!"

"You used to use the name Fen-Prick, who are you to act all holier than thou Poirot?" Alice asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Oi, that was different, my nickname wasn't part of it then!"

"Damn, forgot about that," Alice cursed slightly.

Lily visibly sagged at the realization, "well she did add the slut in there Elle—and you're definitely not one…"

"Lily," Elle groaned.

"Oh come on Elle, turn around, look at the whore!"

Both Alice and Elle turned around to see the French transfer student sitting between James and Sirius, effectively interrupting their "blokes only day" by rubbing herself up against a clearly uncomfortable James.

"Well at least he doesn't look like he's enjoying it; seriously though, you have no reason to worry about that one Lils."

"Which one?" Lily asked with a slightly sardonic smile.

"either, James loves you too much to do that to you—at the very least he'd dump you before going out with another girl-"

"Gee, thanks Alice, you always do know how to make a girl feel better!" Lily sarcastically quipped.

Elle rolled her eyes, putting a hand on Alice's mouth before she could further ruin things by saying something more, "what Alice means to say is that it's James, he know you—respect you enough not to cheat on you. He's not Benjy, Lily."

Lily stiffened at the mention of her former boyfriend, begrudgingly admitting "I don't want to be jealous."

Alice smiled at her, placing a hand upon Lily's, which was gripping her butterbeer's cup with such fervor that it was a wonder it didn't break under the pressure, "I know you don't love, but really what good is it going to do for you, sitting here and moping over the slag's whorishness?"

Lily smiled, "what do you say we go and get some sweets, I hear that's always the best way to get over any bouts of sadness."

Elle grabbed her hand, pulling her up with her, "let's go then, honeydukes awaits us."


All these people drinking lover's spit
They sit around and clean their face with it
And they listen to teeth to learn how to quit
tied to a night they never met

- "Lover's Spit" by Broken Social Scene


"Looks like your boyfriend there seems to be enjoying the attention of that little French girl that just transferred in," Rachel commented with a smirk as she and Lily sat together in divination.

Lily glared at her at the mention of the very thing that had just been bothering her, the bitch was far too intuitive for her own good, and at that moment Lily really just wished that she was a brainless slag. "Listen, just because you and I were forced to work together in this class doesn't mean you have any right to comment on my life, you lost that privilege the moment you shagged my Benjy—while I was dating him."

"Just warning you, I mean what bloke doesn't have fantasies about the sexy vela French girl…"

"Go to hell Rachel."

"Hey I only wanted to help; it'd be a shame if you lost another boyfriend to another girl, two in a row—must say that that's not very good for your reputation Evans."

Lily rolled her eyes as she emptied her tea cup to examine the leaves. "Oh quit it with the dramatics Rachel, you sound like you're part of a soap opera or something," she said, effectively silencing her.


Regular exposure to insecticide has caused me to break out in hives
I'm losing weight, I cannot wait till Saturday
'Cause Saturday, my tax deductions make me function like a blue collar
White collar? I don't know, so I gotta holler

"Oh! Oh, Goddamnit! I think I've lost it!
Oh God! Goddamnit, I think I've lost you!"

-"Oh, Godamnit" by Hot Hot Heat


"I hate Rachel," Lily muttered, quickly bypassing Alice and Elle as she exited the room while tightly gripping her books to her chest

Alice and Elle looked at one another, rolling their eyes in understanding, before running to catch up to Lily. Alice threw an arm around her mate as she led her to the Heads' dorms, "well of course you do, that usually happens when a slag shags your boyfriend. I must say, however, I'm quite intuitive, I mean I was telling you she was just a worthless whore from the beginning, before we even knew about her and Benjy."

"Can we get through one day without your ego making an appearance?" Elle asked her in disbelief.

"We can, but what would be the fun in that?" Alice winked at her.

"Oi, Lily!" they heard a familiar voice yell after them. "Bloody hell Evans, I thought that as the dutiful girlfriend you're supposed to wait for me after class."

Lily laughed at James as he took Alice's arm off her shoulder and replaced it with his own, waving off her two mates. "James! I was going to spend some time with them."

"I'm sure they'll understand if I want some personal time with my girlfriend, won't you girls?" he asked them, wagging his eyebrows at the innuendo.

Elle raised her hands in defeat, "I'd hate to get in the way of a love struck couple, wouldn't you Alice?"

Alice shrugged, "We have our own boy toys; I'd say we can be thoroughly amused without Lily being present…"

Lily nodded in understanding as she watched her two best friends walk off, "nice to know I have such caring friends."

"They were only looking out for your best interests love, didn't want you to go into Potter withdrawal."

She smiled as he pushed her into their common room, turning around in his arms so that she was facing him, "and tell me, what do you plan on doing to fix that little dilemma?"

"It's show, not tell Evans, hasn't anyone ever taught you that?" he huskily told her as he cupped her face in his hands.

"Why don't you take on that particular challenge?"

"With pleasure love."


You're a lovely fade out
You're the last part of a now
Only when I
'm sleeping do I see

Oh I want for nothing
It's the hardest part of all
What can keep me up and let me fall

-"rear moth" by Psapp


"Okay, so what I say now, you have to promise not to tell anyone," Lily announced to Alice and Elle as she took a seat by them at breakfast the next morning.

Alice scoffed, "what can possibly be so huge that you have to be so serious? Serious is boring Lils, not a pretty color on you, I prefer fun Lily."

"Me too," Elle announced.

Lily rolled her eyes as she fixed herself a cup of coffee. "Adèle constantly hitting on James like that, it's bothering me. And I mean I know he wouldn't do anything, but it's just—seeing her like that, it scares me," Lily shyly admitted, keeping her eyes trained on her cup of coffee in a feeble attempt to avoid looking at her two best friends.

"Well of course it bothers you; we don't call her Slut-Elle for nothing. But come on Lils, as if we didn't know that, you're always glaring at her."

"Well in my defense I did complain about it less than I usually would—and I never actually vocalized the fact that it bothered me, you two commented on it."

Elle nodded, taking a bite of her crêpe, "it's true—very sad, but true nonetheless. Listen, just go talk to her, maybe she doesn't know about you two."

"Yeah, maybe, right? I'll go and talk to her…" Lily announced before leaving the pair in search of Bonnet.

"That's total bull," Alice told Elle as soon as Lily was out of ear shot.

"Yeah, I know, but you know how insecure Lily gets, may as well give her some hope, right?"

"And what do you do when Bonnet keep son hitting on James even after Lily talks to her."

"Damn," Elle cursed under her breath, "didn't really think of that one."



You talk about life, you talk about death,

And everything in between,

Like it's nothing, and the words are easy.

You talk about me, and you talk about you,

And everything I do,

Like it's something, that needs repeating.

I don't need an alibi or for you to realize,

The things we left unsaid,

Are only taking space up in our head.

Make it my fault, win the game

Point the finger, place the blame

It does me up and down,

It doesn't matter now.

-"My Interpretation" by Mika


"Hi, Adèle?" Lily nervously interrupted the French transfer student from her conversation with two infamous gossiping Hufflepuffs, quickly beginning to regret ever having come over.

"Yes?" the girl asked.

"Do you mind if we talk… alone?"

"Oh, sure; I'll talk to you two later, okay?" she said, waving off her two mates. "So you wanted to talk about something?"

"It's about James… I noticed that you've been spending a lot of time with him recently, and I was just hoping to warn you… he's not exactly single, he's kind of dating me…" she nervously rambled, hating having to be the jealous girlfriend that told a girl to stay away from her boyfriend. That was just a role she had never expected to have to take on.

"Well maybe if you knew how to keep your boyfriend satisfied other girls wouldn't have to intervene. You see, it's really your fault, if anyone's," she told her with a false sugary sweet tone, patting her on the head before leaving.

Alice and Elle let out shocked scoffs, each putting a comforting arm around her. "And here I thought girls like that only existed in movies," Elle commented with a laugh.

"Oh please Elle, it's girls, they're conniving bitches, capable of anything really," Alice retorted.

"What am I going to do?" Lily asked, taking a seat on the bench as she threw her head into her hands desperately.

"James is a big boy Lils, he can handle himself, just trust him," Alice told her, taking Lily's hands into her own, forcing her friend to look at her.

"It's not that-"

"We know," Elle interrupted, "but this is something that you're just going to have to let go unless you want to ruin your relationship. Don't make it even easier for her."

"Okay, you two are right; I'll do it your way."

"Good girl, now why don't you go wake James up while we go get Sirius and Remus."

"Sure, I'll see you two in class."


I've got a secret, I cannot say
Blame all the movement to give it away
You've got somethin, I understand
Holding it tightly, caught on command
Leap of faith, do you doubt?
Cut you in, I just cut you out

-"the lost art of keeping a secret" by Queens of the Stone Age


two weeks later, as James and Lily sat together at Hogsmeade talking about the latest quidditch match between Germany and Austria, Lily suddenly interrupted the conversation by tactlessly blurting out, "I don't like you talking to Adèle—well actually I prefer calling her Slut-Elle, but you don't really need to know about that nickname… but yeah," she finished lamely, shying away from the incredulous look he was giving her.

"Um… what?" he asked with a dumbfounded look.

"Adèle, she's always flirting with you James."

"Yeah, so? Only reason I even put up with her is because Sirius worshiping to have a chance at shagging her, she's not exactly the Virgin Mary," James shrugged.

"And how does it help that she's always hitting on you? I just—I get scared James, I get jealous."

She noted how he stiffened at her words; how he clenched his when she told him she got jealous. "I'm not Benjy, Lily," he brusquely told her.

"I know you're not, but-"

"No buts about it Lils, I mean I thought we got past this. Bloody hell, I'm not him, and you know—maybe if you still can't get over what happened—get over him, we're just wasting our time here," he dejectedly told her, taking out some money and dropping it on the table before briskly making his way out of the Three Broomsticks, ignoring all of her calls as he rushed back to the castle.


Too low to find my way
Too high to wonder why
I've touched this place before
Somewhere in another time
Now I can hear the sun
The clouds drifting through the blinds
A half a million thoughts
Are flowing through my mind

-"Lebanese Blonde" by Thievery Corporation


"I screwed up," Lily announced as she walked into Alice and Elle's dormitory, tears and a frown marring her face as she threw herself onto the bed, sobbing uncontrollably as she gripped the nearest pillow to her chest.

"Sweetie, what happened?" Elle asked, as she comfortingly pulled Lily into her arms.

"I told James-"

"Damn," Alice muttered under her breath at that revelation.

"I know it was a mistake, okay? But I just can't do it Alice—I can't pretend that it doesn't bother me… I just can't."

Alice smiled sadly at her, "I know love, it's just that I also know James, and I can only imagine what his reaction to that must have been."

"He got so angry, thought I was accusing him of being like Benjy and that that's why I was so worried."

Alice visibly winced at those words, but, for once, didn't make any comments.

"I know he's not like Benjy—I know that. It's just, what bloke hasn't had fantasies about shagging the hot transfer student?—Especially the French one, they're almost as bad as Swedish girls."

"Well of course he's probably had that fantasy, but that was before you Lils. Love, you're beautiful, smart, funny, and you call him on his crap. He adores you; you can't let yourself doubt that, it's always the little things that ruin the strongest relationships. You can't let all of those insecurities of yours get in the way like this," Alice told her.

"Talk to him Lils."

"And then have make up sex—that's always the best," Alice told her, wagging her eyebrows at Lily as she pulled her off the bed.

Lily laughed, "Well, I do really like that part."


I got a story, it's almost finished
All I need is someone to tell it to
Maybe that's you

-"the world you love" by Jimmy Eat World


Lily knocked on the door to the boys' dormitory only to be met with an extremely aggravated Sirius, "don't you think you've done enough today?"

Lily rolled her eyes, "cut the crap Sirius, you know I didn't mean it the way he interpreted it."

He pouted, "it's easier to be mad though, especially when your best mate is wallowing of all things—rather pathetic sight actually."

"Padfoot, who is it?" Remus asked, quickly appearing by Sirius' side. "Thank God, it's about time you got here, I don't know how much more of this I could take."

She laughed, "Think you two can leave so I can talk to him?"

"Sure, just don't make a sound until we leave, James is off in the loo, I'd rather not have to face his wrath when he sees that you're here right now, seeing as you're not exactly his favorite person at the moment."

"Thanks," she told Sirius and Remus as they snuck out of the room.

As she settled herself on Remus' bed she heard the door to the toilet unlocking. "So I was thinking, what I really need is to-" James, however, stopped speaking as his eyes settled upon the girl on his mate's bed.

"Hi," Lily shyly greeted him.

"What are you doing here Lils?" he stiffly asked her.

"We need to talk."

He let out a sigh, crossing his arms over his chest in an unwavering position that frightened her more than she would have liked. She hated the stoic James that sometimes made and appearance, it scared her that she might not be able to get through to him—that her insecurities may have finally ruined their relationship as they had almost done so many times in the past.

"You're not Benjy, I know that, and I guess—that's what scares me so much." She noted the quizzical look on his face, waited for him to comment, but, to her disappointment, he didn't. "Benjy—Benjy did break me when he cheated on me with Rachel, but that was more so with my self-confidence. You—you mean so much more to me James," she told him as she got up so that she was at level with him. "with you, it's break my heart, and that—I hate being weak, but I can't help but want to be with you, and that—that scares the hell out of me."

He nodded solemnly, as if still processing everything she had said, or at least that's what she prayed he was doing, rather than reconsidering their relationship.

"I'll go, you probably need to be alone," she told him with an understanding smile as she turned to make her way out of the room. She was stopped, however, by James' arm, which pulled her back so that she was facing him.

"James, wha-"

"I love you," he suddenly blurted out, taking her completely off guard with that somewhat tactless admission.

"What?" she asked, quickly feeling the shock settle in.

"I love you," he repeated, nervously running a hand through his hair. "I mean—I wanted to do this huge romantic thing when I told you, had it all panned out too. I mean this is my first time telling someone that, and you—well I'm sure you've had tons of blokes making a huge thing of it, and here I am totally buggering it all up, but yeah… I love you."

She let out a small laugh, "no—I'm pretty sure that was the best one yet."

He scoffed, "nice lie."

"Okay, so it wasn't the most romantic out there, but it was original, all the others are so trite, yours makes me feel far more special," she told him as she moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Oh, and just FYI, I love you too," she told him before bringing her lips to his.


Throw your arms around my neck

And whisper softly

Of a thing that we will get

I'm asking you

Let your diamond bracelet fall

Over the ice age

Over the ice age

-"Ice Age" by Pete Yorn


Lily groggily nudged James, whispering "hey did you hear something?"

James just groaned, pulling her tighter to his body, "forget it, whatever it is, I'm enjoying the moment."

Lily just giggled as she buried her face in his chest when, suddenly, the curtains to the bed opened. "Bloody hell, couldn't you two make it back to your dormitory. Why on my bed of all places?" Remus groaned, stomping out of the room in a huff.

"Told you I heard someone," Lily grinned.



author's note: sorry to any Swedish girls out there (on the off chance that I offended you with my comment) it's just that in Croatia, that's really what they're famous for when they come during breaks—actually that's what they're famous for in practically every European country I've been to lol.

Anyway, hope you liked this and please review.


challenge link: http://www. fictioncentral. net/hpforum/index. php?showtopic36087