Summary: Kim is torturing Shego in the worst Possible way. Post-Graduation. Humour/Romance. Very mild adult content warning. K/R and D/S.
Warmonga: She is the blue impostor's battle mate.
Shego: Whoa, time out! Yeah, the two teens are a thing, but there is nothing going on with me and Dr. D!
Warmonga: Then why were you so threatened by my arrival?
Shego: I dunno— maybe 'cause you're nine feet tall!
Warhok: Denial. It's more than just a river on the planet that we now control.
Drakken and Ron zoom past with an out-of-control jetpack.
Shego: Come on, we better go help.
Kim: See? You do care!
Kim Possible, Graduation, Part 2.
Typical Ron, Kim thought. They'd been on the plane for all of four minutes, and he was already dozing off on her shoulder, Rufus sleeping soundly in his pocket.
Of course, she wasn't exactly going to complain. The more casual they got when it came to intimacy, the better, and this particular thing was making her feel all nice and fuzzy inside. His head felt warm, his soft, blond hair was brushing against her neck and his breath was tickling the skin of her arm.
It also felt very reassuring yet somehow just a little overwhelming that this was a thing he would do now, in a natural kind of way. Every day, he was getting less and less nervous about touching her, and every day he would surprise her with the little things he did, like kissing her mouth more often than her cheek now— and it didn't feel like a friend, not at all. Sometimes he'd even kiss her neck, and it would give her shivers down her spine.
A year or two ago, she'd thought the only way Ron Stoppable would ever give her shivers down her spine would be if he pulled the old 'See Food' trick on an unsuspecting kid for the umpteenth time since kindergarten.
Now, whenever he was being childish in front of children, he couldn't help but think how good he was with kids. And it kind of scared her how her way of thinking about him had changed...and yet it felt safe, in a way. Like she'd been promised a future where she would never be alone.
Now she definitely wouldn't be alone, though; she sighed heavily as she remembered that she and Ron would be sharing the flight. And not just with anybody, either.
And speak of the devil, she thought, groaning a little as the two last passengers boarded the plane, a string of annoyed chatter following them as they shouldered through the entrance, their carryon luggage thumping against the seats as they walked, which they were not even noticing as they were too busy arguing.
"This was a stupid idea, Dr. D." Shego said unwaveringly, as if there was no debate about it.
Drakken certainly seemed to think there was something to talk about, however, as he drew a deep, pre-lecture kind of breath. "We get a free plane ride and we do get paid for this interview, Shego! Fuel for the hover car doesn't grow on trees, you know!"
Oh, boy, Kim thought. Maybe offering to share a plane to the TV interview they'd all be attending tomorrow— the whole world wanted to know the details of the tale of their saviours, and not just in magazines or papers— hadn't been such a hot idea, after all. Kim had only done it since they had after all helped save the world, and because her father had hinted very strongly that perhaps it wouldn't be such a bad idea to show a little goodwill towards Drakken and Shego so they might feel less inclined to take up the world domination kind of villainy again. It was clear to Kim that her dad was probably still feeling a little guilty over the part he'd played in making Drew Lipsky what he was today.
Besides, they were still having the Possible house built anew, and didn't want it to be destroyed again so soon by giant robots or something. Ron's parents had been kind enough to let them stay at the Stoppable house, but with nine people living there now, it was pretty cramped, and everybody was eager to have their living conditions back to normal.
"Ugh, you're such a cheapskate." Shego sighed in disgust.
"Oh, stop complaining!" Drakken chided, starting to sound fed up. "It's only three hours, anyway!"
Shego sent him a dark look. "You just want more publicity and attention."
"I didn't hear you object when Cosmo put you on the cover in that fancy dress."He pointed out in a self-satisfied kind of tone.
"Hey, I can't help it if they have good taste." She said, tossing her hair; Kim couldn't help but think that Shego looked like she was preening but trying to seem nonchalant about it. "Besides, I got paid for that, too."
"Oh, you like the attention, you know you do."Drakken coaxed, sounding partly annoyed and partly amused. "Every member of the press wants a piece of the so-called heroine-turned-villainess-turned-heroine-again."
"Maybe because it's the only attention I get."Shego muttered, looking away. "You're always too busy ranting about yourself to even listen to me."
Whoa, Kim thought. Her eyebrows were some place up at her hairline as she watched the unfolding conversation. Now this was just...different. She'd never really heard Drakken and Shego talk about anything but their evil intentions to take over the world. She'd never heard them quite this personal or private, and that last comment from Shego sounded almost...intimate.
Suddenly, Drakken seemed a little upset. "That's not true! If you want attention, you can just ask for it!"
"When?" Shego spat."You hardly even stop for breath nowadays, you're so excited about yourself!"
"Well, is it any wonder? You know how long I've waited to be recognized for my genius!" Drakken exclaimed defensively.
"Oh, great. The genius spiel again."
"Have some understanding, Shego!" Drakken chided; yet there was a strangely pleading note in his voice. "You know what this means to me! You should be happy for me!"
"I'm just tired of listening to you rave about it." Shego mumbled dismissively. "I got it already."
There was a moment of silence as Shego found a seat and sat down.
Drakken didn't join her by taking the seat she'd left open. "You know, I thought I would share this with you."
Shego didn't answer, and Kim heard Drakken sigh.
"I thought I'd be sharing it with you when I— no, when we were victorious." His voice softened. "I couldn't have done this without you, you know."
"Damn straight you couldn't have." Shego said firmly.
"I'm trying to be serious here, Shego!"
"Dr. D, this is so not the time for—"
"NACOS! It's BLUEBERRY NACOS! It's so sick and wrong!"
Kim froze as she realized that Ron was sleep talking; or more like sleep screaming. Blushing as the two villains were alerted to her and her boyfriend's presence, she cringed down in the seat, shaking Ron's arm to wake him up.
"Ron!" She hissed, finally managing to get him up. Ron yawned as he popped his head up over the seat— that boy just got taller every day, it seemed— peering blearily at the two new arrivals.
"Oh, um...hello," he greeted as he yawned again, waving vaguely at them.
"Oooh, look who's here already!" Shego said with falsely sugary tones. "Miss Priss and Monkey Man."
"Shego," Drakken whispered in that non-quiet kind of way that certain people without a single surreptitious bone in their bodies used, "do we have to make this flight even more awkward than it has to be?"
A quirky smile worked its way across Shego's lips. "Well, Doc, if you're offering to keep me entertained instead, I'm sure we can work something out..."
Drakken looked at her suspiciously. "What's that supposed to mean...?"
"Oh, don't worry, people, the Ron Man's got enough entertainment for everybody!" Ron enthused as he got up from his seat.
"Uh, no offence, junior, but if my choices are between being entertained by you or the Doc here, I'll take my chances with him." Shego said flatly. "I've seen you drop your pants enough times already, anyway."
Ron turned slightly green. "Ugh, wrongsick."
"Very funny joke, Shego!" Drakken barked, his blue face going faintly red.
"Hey, maybe it wasn't that hilarious, but at least I'm trying to keep from dying out of sheer boredom." Shego rolled her eyes, shrugging. "I can already tell this flight is gonna be about as fun as a barrel of monkeys."
"No monkeys!" Ron blurted.
"Ron, I thought you were over that by now!" Kim cringed slightly; things like that were okay when they were alone, but not in front of people like Drakken— and especially Shego.
Ron cracked a brief, embarrassed grin. "I am, it's just, you know...a reflex reaction."
Kim sighed and smiled a little. "You'll get it out of your system eventually."
Ron smiled back at her. "Thanks, KP."
"If you two lovebirds are just about done...you were saying something about entertainment?" Shego commented with an impatient and somewhat condescending sigh.
"Well," Ron said, either not caring about or not noticing Shego's mocking, "I think we still have some movies lying around here from the last time we were on this plane. You know, Japan, long flight, nothing to do, yadda yadda."
"Oh, great, now I'll be stuck watching Happy Bunny Adventures or something for three hours." Shego gave a heart-felt groan. "Why did I have to forget my magazines at home?"
"Oh...uh, Shego?" Drakken said as he started rummaging around in his bag.
"Here," he grinned as he held out a stack of magazines to her. "I saw them on the living room table just as we were about to leave, so I grabbed them."
Kim waited for the sarcastic comment, but there was none.
In fact, Shego sounded...particularly un-Shegoish when she answered.
"Really?" Her voice sounded...less harsh. There just wasn't that edge to it anymore; it sounded soft, a little befuddled and even pleased. "I mean, great, I mean...thanks, Dr. D."
Drakken smiled. "No problem."
Kim blinked in surprise. From what Shego had said earlier, Kim could gather that what she seemed to want was from Drakken was for him to consider her more often, give her more attention...and as she thought about it, Kim could imagine that someone like Drakken wasn't too good at that. He always seemed too preoccupied and scatterbrained and full of evil ambition to take notice. So even something little, like him actually thinking of her and bringing those magazines, probably touched Shego a lot more than any amount of money could. It sounded sappy— or simply human— and not like the Shego she knew at all, but there it was, and all evidence pointed towards it.
This could get interesting, Kim thought. Or it could turn into the most awkweird flight in history.
"Let's see, movies, movies, movies..." Ron mumbled as he looked for the DVDs they'd left here the last time. "We have...uh oh."
"What?" Kim asked, leaning forward as she was pulled from her reverie. "Nothing good?"
Ron grimaced. "I think these are from the time we brought Jim and Tim. We have a choice between Hercules and a documentary about engine malfunctions in air planes."
Kim's expression matched Ron's, but with an added touch of that special brand of big sister exasperation. "Ugh, the tweebs have such a rotten sense of humour!"
Ron shuddered. "Yeah, some little important dohickey going ker-ploink in the engine while we're at 30, 000 feet isn't exactly what I wanna think about right now."
"No worries, I brought my new super compact parachutes in my suitcase. Just in case, you know." Drakken said unexpectedly.
Ron and Kim stared at him.
"Really?" Ron said in a slow, skeptical tone."That's kind of...um, thoughtful of you."
"I brought parachutes for me and Shego, I mean," Drakken added cheerfully with a positively nasty grin.
Behind him, Shego snorted, trying to suppress an evil chuckle.
"Thanks a lot." Ron muttered. "We have our own."
Kim sighed. "Okay, so I guess it's gonna be Hercules unless somebody wants to start a game of charades. No? Yeah, didn't think so," Kim said brightly as she plucked the DVD from Ron's hand and loaded the movie. She'd be so grateful when this trip was over. She was definitely making up some excuse to stay there for a few more days so they didn't have to share a plane on the way back.
"Hercules? As in 'the greatest hero ever' etcetera?" Drakken wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Ugh, no more heroism! I'm going to go and ask the pilot if I can steer the plane."
Ron brightened. "Oooh, hey, I wanna try that, too!"
"I said it first!" Drakken insisted.
"Hey, ever heard of sharing?" Ron objected. "It's not even your plane!"
"It's not yours, either! And villains don't share!"Drakken scowled.
"Hey, we're only here at all because Kim and me called in a favour! I know the owner!"
"I don't care!"
Kim and Shego sighed and rolled their eyes in unison as they watched the boys run off, elbowing each other and bickering.
It only took about three minutes before Shego got impatient.
"Why are we even watching this?"
"You don't have to watch it, you know." Kim said, trying to keep the irritation out of her voice. "Just stick to your magazines."
There was a pause.
"We all know what's gonna happen. The actually interesting people are gonna lose because they're villains, Blond Jock Junior's gonna win, and the femme fatale is gonna turn out to be a giggling goody goody who just wants to be loved beneath her tough exterior." As she was ranting, Shego got up from her seat, strolled towards Kim and finally plopped absentmindedly into a seat opposite from her, magazines and all. "Hades gets punished and Hero Boy and Miss Attitude are gonna be all with the big self-sacrifice and tear-jerking scenes."
It seemed that for some reason, Shego wanted to talk.
Kim lifted an eyebrow. "You've seen this before?"
Shego shrugged. "I had to take my annoying little brothers to see it when it first came out back in ninety-seven, and even if I hadn't, it's not exactly hard to guess the outcome of this flick. You, on the other hand, probably went with your daddy and mommy, right?"
Kim smirked. "Well, some of us are still young."
Shego didn't take the bait, only looking unimpressed. "Some of us are actually old enough to vote and drink."
Kim frowned. "I can vote."
"Yeah, just barely." Shego snorted. "You'll have to wait until next year, anyway."
"Oh, and as if you voted the last time." Kim commented dryly. "You're a villain bent on ruling the world, what do you care who's president?"
"The point is that I could if I'd wanted to, not if I did it or not." Shego retorted. "Besides," here she gave a delicate little cough, "I think we're out of the world domination business for now."
"Really?" Kim asked in a flat, disbelieving tone.
Shego looked down, flipping idly through her magazine. "Yeah, you know, we just saved it and all. Dr. D thinks we should...rethink our motives."
Kim clucked her tongue. "Oh, I see. And wherever Drakken goes, you'll follow, right?"
Again, Shego looked unmoved. "I work for him. I have to follow him around if I wanna keep my job. Villainy is a very mobile, flexible business. It has to be, for obvious reasons. As long as he pays my salary, why should I care? At least it keeps the job from getting boring. I'm sure you wouldn't argue with your employer at your measly little Bueno Nacho or Club Banana job."
"Whatever you say." Kim sighed, turning her attention back to the movie. Shego shrugged again and continued reading her magazines.
Five minutes later, Kim heard Shego give a derisive chuckle, and realized with a certain amount of humiliation that she'd actually been giggling at the screen.
"Aww, somebody thinks the hero boy's a cutie, don't they?" Shego cooed patronizingly.
"Hmmphh," Kim scoffed. "Well, he's all beefy. Should be your type, anyway."
"Oh, please. He's a dorky little teenager. Doesn't matter if he has the beef." Shego gestured with the magazine in her hand. "There's no substance, no weight to him, no style, no depth, no sense of humour, no craziness, no...dark side."
Kim's eyebrow rose in challenge. "Oh, so you'd prefer Hades?"
"Anything is better than this goofball!" Shego said, making a face. "This other guy has the looks and the substance."
"Looks?" Kim wrinkled her nose. "Well, he's built, I'll give you that, but he looks like some kinda evil, snakey, sharp-toothed—"
Shego gave Kim a look as if the younger woman didn't have the first clue about anything. "I don't go for the wholesome farm boy innocence, Princess. I need something more interesting."
Kim scowled at her. "Nothing wrong with looking sweet and innocent as long as they actually are. I like my men nice and decent and honest. Somebody I can trust."
"You mean nice and boring?"
Kim raised both eyebrows in an incredulous look. "Trust me— if it's one thing Ron isn't, it's boring! I never have a boring moment when he's around."
Shego leaned back, smirking at her over her magazine. "Well, some of us have higher standards of what's entertaining than watching our boyfriends have junk food eating contests with their hairless rodent pets."
Kim felt herself flush, but held her chin high. "Ron's a good boyfriend. It's about caring about each other, not about 'being entertained', and even if it was, he's more than entertaining enough! We're always busy!"
"Oh, really?" Shego leered at her. "Keeping you 'busy' now, is he? Do mama and papa Possible know about this?"
Again, Kim tried very hard not to flush, but failed. "It's none of your business what we are and aren't doing!"
"Aww! I'm hurt, Kimmie!" Shego gave a jarringly fake pout. "We're pals here, aren't we? You can tell good old auntie Shego if Naco Boy rocks your world or not!"
Kim turned wide, shocked eyes towards Shego before her expression was replaced by a severe frown. "Shego! You— you just have no class!"
Shego feigned innocence as she shrugged. "As I thought. You two kids probably haven't even gotten to second base yet."
Kim fumed as she glared at the older woman. "Does it really matter?" She asked through gritted teeth.
Shego stifled a yawn. "Don't worry, your pent-up little teenage hormones will get you there soon enough."
"You know, you're talking about a guy I've known since kindergarten. We used to be best friends, and we still are. This is very special to us," Kim said, even if she knew that it was a stupid thing to say, and that it would only give Shego more reasons to mock her 'weaknesses'. She didn't care; she just wanted to defend her boyfriend and be honest about it, and maybe some of her words would pierce through Shego's thick, cynical hide even if she'd never admit it.
"Hey, if you wanna save yourself for marriage, that's fine." Shego said carelessly, her attention on what seemed to be the latest issue of Villainess. "Just hope you're not gonna wait around for your sidekick to pop the question— then you'll never get laid."
"It's not about 'getting laid', but I'm sure you'll never understand that." Kim's brows knitted as she glowered at the older woman's rudeness. "And for your information, I wasn't going to wait until we're married or some other set time, I was going to wait until we both feel like we're ready, whenever that will be. And if it just happens to be after we're married, that's fine, too. I have lots of time."
"Gasp, is that a hint of rebellion I hear?" Shego teased in an irritatingly bright voice. "What will your parents say?"
"Fine, be crude." Kim muttered. "It's no wonder you're still single."
There was a brief glare from Shego before her features relaxed once more. "Just because I don't wanna be tied down at eighteen like a good little girl doesn't mean I'll end up an old maid."
"Yeah, right." Kim huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "You're mocking me for not getting past second base, but you can't even get your head out of the sand and get to first base with Drakken!"
Kim had never seen Shego blush before, but she was seeing it now, and it looked totally weird. Her face went a strange shade of pale red and green, her mouth became a tight, defiant line and her eyes went big and almost scared for a second before they narrowed with contempt.
Oh, yes, Kim had hit the bull's eye there. Shego was all bluster; either too nervous or most likely too stubborn to do something about her own love life, so she had to give Kim a hard time about hers.
"You're still not gonna let that go?" Shego almost hissed. "You think you're being clever now? I told you there's nothing going on between—"
Kim shifted languidly in her seat, getting more comfortable as she saw that she was finally starting to gain the upper hand. "Yeah, see...I get why you like Hades."
"Oh, jeez, you think I can't see where this is going?" Shego groaned. "You should quit trying to be sneaky, Kimmie. Your brain's gonna overload any second now."
Kim tilted her chin up. "You know why you like that character better than the 'farm boy'."
"Doy, he's evil, he's older, he's—"
"Blue?" Kim interrupted, not even bothering to hide her smugness.
Shego's eyes narrowed. "You think you're funny, don't you?"
Kim grinned lopsidedly. "A little bit, maybe."
"Oy, and now she's going for comedy...!" Shego grunted in exasperation. "This is gonna be one long flight. Unless I 'accidentally' let you off without a parachute, of course."
"You know, Shego," Kim said almost casually, ignoring her idle threat, "Everybody has a weakness, so I knew I'd find yours one day."
Shego scoffed and looked out the window. "Yeah, right. Good luck."
"We all do, and I knew I'd find yours one day," Kim repeated in a deliberately slow voice, again as if Shego had never even spoken. "I just never figured it would be Drakken!"
Kim heard an odd and rather ominous noise, and realized it was the unpleasant sound of teeth grinding together. That was her last thought before Shego suddenly lunged at her, fingers curled into claws, and a growl in her throat.
Before she knew what was happening, Kim was dragged out of her seat by her hair and knocked flat on her back. Somehow, though, Shego's flustered, angry face and violent behaviour only made her laugh.
Shego thought she was so blasé and uncaring and mysterious, but Kim had finally been able to see right through her! And Shego hated it! That was her weakness! She couldn't stand to have people see that she felt affectionate towards somebody— and especially not towards Drakken!
When Shego clocked her on the jaw, Kim found herself just laughing harder. Oh boy, this woman had issues! She almost felt sorry for her! Of course, that didn't stop her from teasing her further.
"You keep on denying who you are and how you're feeling," Kim sang in a breathy, sugary voice, making fun of her arch foe as she rolled them around, holding her down. "Baby, we're not buying! Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling!" She panted, talk-singing as Shego struggled, her face frozen in a terrible, angered grimace as she snarled up at the younger woman.
Kim only laughed again as Shego rolled them back around and pinned her to the floor, slapping her face. Yep, Shego had a big weakness indeed, and now Kim was finally getting Shego back for all the cracks she'd made about her outfits, her looks and her Ron all these years. "Face it like a grown-up!" Kim sang, trying to imitate the singers from the movie, but not really caring how well she was doing it as long as she was annoying Shego. "When ya gonna own up that ya got, got, got it bad!"
"Shut up!" Shego barked before she punched Kim right in the eye.
"Oww!" Kim howled, clutching her face. It seemed as if she'd gone too far. Drawing a deep breath, she kicked out with her legs, throwing the other woman off of her.
Walking somewhat unsteadily to her seat, Kim couldn't help but laugh again as she saw Shego glaring at her from the floor. "Fine, have it your way. So you don't like-like Drakken," she said, sighing.
"Glad you realize it," Shego muttered as she picked herself up from the floor.
"You love him," Kim added, showing a wide, split pumpkin grin.
Shego roared with outrage as she charged at her teenage foe, fists cocked—
"Hey, what's going on out here, KP?"
"Yes, what's all this noise about, Shego?
Shego froze in the aisle, lowering her arms. Suddenly, she looked completely cool and composed. "Me and the cheerleader here were just having a small disagreement."
"Yeah, I was just saying how sad it is when some people are living in complete denial, that's all." Kim said brightly.
"And I was just saying how annoying it is for some people when they have to deal with some teeny bopper's romantic delusions." Shego's voice was strained.
"Kim! You're hurt!" Ron exclaimed then, and Kim realized that she was probably developing a juicy black eye. At Ron's distressed voice, Rufus woke up and popped his little head out of Ron's pocket, looking concerned.
"No big, I've had worse." Kim shrugged, but couldn't help basking in the attention when Ron hurried over and sat her down, patted her hand and kissed her better before rushing to get her some ice for her eye, glaring at Shego as he passed her. Kim tried not to giggle when he stuck out his tongue at Shego behind her back when she couldn't see.
Clearing her throat in an irritated kind of way, Shego snatched up her magazine and went to sit at the front of the plane, many seats away from Kim.
Drakken hovered uncertainly in the aisle for a second or two before he frowned at Kim, who only shrugged innocently. Giving a suspicious grunt, Drakken turned and walked away, elbowing past Ron, who was coming back with a small towel full of ice for her eye. Kim smiled gratefully at him as he applied it, but couldn't turn her good eye away from the scene before her.
Kim saw Drakken walk tentatively up to Shego, murmuring something Kim couldn't hear. She couldn't hear Shego's mumbled response, either, but could tell that it was dismissive. Even so, Drakken started asking her a millions questions and fussing over her in a way that Kim couldn't remember having ever seen him do before. Shego sounded mildly annoyed, but for some reason she put up with it. When Drakken seemed satisfied that she was all right, he leaned down in a conspiratorial kind of way, squeezing her shoulder.
"By the way, that was excellent, Shego!" Drakken exclaimed in a giddy half-whisper, giving Shego an approving thumbs up as he looked at her admiringly, probably thinking he was being all secretive and they couldn't hear him.
Kim smirked; it seemed that even though he'd just saved the world, Dr. Drakken still held a grudge over Team Possible, and couldn't help feeling some evil satisfaction at the sight of his partner-in-crime beating up his arch foe. It didn't surprise her at all; old habits died hard, apparently.
What did kind of surprise her, however, was the way Shego gave a brief, embarrassed kind of chuckle as Drakken grinned down at her. "You're such a geek, Dr. D," she complained, but there was no real ill intent behind the insult.
"I am not a geek!" Drakken objected. "The pilot let me fly the plane and everything!"
"And thank you for only further proving my point," Shego said bluntly.
Drakken snapped for air. "Shego, why must you always— that's it, I'm never paying you another compliment again!"
Ron sighed irritably as he pressed the icepack to his girlfriend's eye, smoothing down her dishevelled hair. "Won't those two ever stop?"
"Probably not even when they're dead, Ron." Kim said, looking up at him with an affectionate grin. Rufus nodded sadly in agreement.
The next evening, when the interviewer asked Kim how she'd gotten the black eye, Kim replied that she'd been injured while fighting a big, green crocodile on a trip down the Nile.
For a moment, Shego turned red as Drakken sent her a puzzled glance, and Kim could tell that it took all of Shego's willpower not to melt the microphone in anger when it was finally handed to her.
Who ever said revenge was just for villains?
A month or so after they'd last seen Team Possible, Drakken and Shego got a sudden morning visit.
"Drakken!" Kim shouted as she and Ron entered the lair dramatically through the ceiling.
"You won't get away with this!" Added Ron triumphantly.
"Nnk, yeah!" Rufus piped up from Ron's pocket.
"…get away with what?" Drakken asked, sounded utterly confused as he halted in reaching for the coffee pot. Shego was simply looking at them as if a couple of vaguely intriguing but disturbing mental patients had just come for a visit.
"We got an anonymous tip that you were planning a big surprise today!" Kim challenged, scowling."Bigger than the Little Diablo Project!"
"Okay…?" Drakken grabbed the coffee pot after all and poured himself and Shego a cup each.
Kim and Ron stared at the two villains as Drakken handed Shego a cup of coffee, which she accepted while calmly taking another bite out of her pancakes.
There was a stretch of uncomfortable silence for Team Possible.
"Um," Kim cleared her throat, "aren't you going to try and stop me or something?"
Shego looked up sharply, finally seeming provoked. "You'fe goffa loffa nerbe, you know fhaf? Bweaking in hebe and jusf— I'b nof gonna fighf you!" She objected loudly around a mouthful of pancake. "I'b eafing bweakfasf!"
Ron gave an exaggerated sigh. "See, KP? I told you! Villains don't do villainy things before breakfast time!"
Kim rolled her eyes. "Ron! That's exactly what they want us to think! A surprise attack would have to be done at a time when we wouldn't expect it, right?"
Ron pouted. "Yeah, but we skipped our own breakfast to be here! So not cool! I'm getting hungry!"
Rufus nodded and whimpered, rubbing his empty belly. "Hungry!"
Ignoring her boyfriend and his pet's objections, Kim stepped forward, pointing squarely at her arch-nemesis' blue face. "Don't act so innocent. You're up to something, aren't you?"
"Yes, I'm planning on taking over a series of small European countries using an army of genetically altered scrambled eggs," Drakken told them with heavy duty sarcasm, holding up a forkful of eggs. "This is going to be my next in command, General Whitey Starch."
Shego snorted delicately next to him, almost choking on her coffee as she tried not to laugh.
Ron's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Which small European countries? 'Cause word of advice here— you don't wanna invade Norway." He looked puzzled for a second. "I don't really know why I said that, but...don't."
Drakken sent Shego a mildly despairing look. "They just don't give me any credit at all, do they?"
Shego grinned as she shook her head. "Yeah, well, your T-shirt's probably not helping any."
He looked down, blinking at the words 'Mad Scientists Have More Fun' in bold, white lettering on his chest. "Probably not," he sighed before eating the eggs on his fork.
Looking like that in front of an arch foe really was kind of shameful, Kim considered, but then they'd already seen him making 'evil pâté' in green Speedos and a cape. This certainly wasn't any worse.
"You just killed Whitey!" Ron gasped, pointing accusingly at Drakken. "How could you eat your own general?"
"Ron!" Kim hissed at him to keep quiet, looking embarrassed; unlike him, she'd understood that Drakken was just making fun of them now. Besides, something felt kinda…off. Drakken and Shego were acting differently than usual. For one, Shego had barely made more than a single sarcastic remark about something stupid that Drakken had said— could it be that he really didn't have a plan this time? "Listen, Drakken," she said tightly, "Someone called me, claiming you're going ahead with the world domination scheme of the century today! So fess up!"
"Oh, please!" Drakken sighed heavily. "As much as I might wish that were true, does it look like I'm in the middle of taking over the world? And besides, it's a Sunday and Shego's not even on the clock! If you think it's possible to get her to work on a Sunday, think again!"
"Damn straight!" Shego chimed in, looking self-satisfied.
"It was probably just a prank call or something." Drakken shrugged.
"A prank call?" Kim repeated slowly, narrowing her eyes at Drakken. "Riiiight. And who would do that?"
"I dunno, how about your annoying twin brothers?" Shego suggested with a smirk.
Drakken nodded. "Yes, yes— or what about your annoying brothers, Shego?" He said, turning to Shego for confirmation.
Shego nodded too, taking a sip of coffee. "Mm-hmm, they would do something like that, especially Mego. He's definitely been jealous after I helped save the world. It's a big step up from saving Go City, after all." She added smugly.
"Or it could be Dementor," Drakken supplied, rubbing his large chin. "Even though we're on speaking terms again, I wouldn't put it past him to do something like this just to remind me that I haven't been an active player in the global domination field as of late..."
A somewhat sheepish grin dawned on Ron's face then. "Um, now that I think about it, the guy who called might've had...kind of, y'know...a Germanic type accent..."
Rufus cringed. "Uh oh..."
Drakken threw his hands up, groaning. "See? There you go! I knew it had to be that little Bavarian weasel...! Ruining my Sunday breakfast!"
"I don't believe you, Drakken," Kim said defiantly, but her resolve was clearly weakening. If the teen had a weakness, it was her very low tolerance for embarrassment.
"Listen, Kimmie," Shego said pointedly, standing up and coming around the kitchen counter. "I know what the Doc was doing last night, and it was anything but making evil plans, if you get my drift," she added with a saucy grin as she leaned on Drakken's shoulder; Drakken looked shocked, a rampant blush erupting on his face.
"Sh-Shego!" He blurted.
Kim's jaw dropped. No wonder she'd sensed that something was different!
"What do you mean?" Ron piped up, walking up to his partner. "If he wasn't doing that, what was he doi— whoa, she's not wearing any pants!" He exclaimed, covering his eyes. "KP, no pants!"
What looked to be Drakken's pajama jacket— it was blue, anyway— was so big on Shego that it was more of a mini dress than a shirt, but it was still very obvious that she wasn't wearing anything underneath it except probably underwear, and the two teens froze solid as the implications of that began to sink in.
"Eww!" Ron complained, shaking himself as if to physically get rid of the mental image. Rufus made a face and hid in Ron's pocket, closing the flap after him.
"Uh, I…I kinda think they're busy for now, Ron," Kim said in a feeble, shell-shocked kind of voice.
Ron nodded. "Let's just go clean our brains with some chlorine before we head to breakfast, okay?"
"Okay…" Kim said faintly, letting herself simply be dragged off out of the lair by Ron, who was an expert of running like the wind from things he deemed wrongsick.
They could hear Drakken yelling at the top of his lungs after them as they left. "Oh, right! All that and not even an apology! Nice! I'll have you know that I'll be billing you if you've broken anything while you were sneaking around in the air ducts! Which is so fifteen minutes ago, by the way! Try something new, will you?"
"Shego!" Drakken reprimanded as he turned to his sidekick, radiating acute embarrassment."Why did you tell them that?"
Shego shrugged, still acting casual. "Call it payback."
Shego finished the last bite of her pancake before she grinned. "Oh, I just wanted Kimmie to realize that even if she thinks she's so darn clever, she's still just a kid."
Drakken shook his head, flabbergasted. "I don't understand you at all. And I mean, why did you say that when we haven't..." He paused, clearing his throat, his voice dropping in volume. "I mean, we haven't...done that yet."
"They don't know that."
"Yes, and now they'll think that—"
Shego put her chin in her hand and leaned forward, looking at him closely. "Does it really matter what they think?"
He blinked at her uncertainly before shaking his head. "No, I guess not."
Shego gave a satisfied little sound and leaned back again. "Exactly."
"Hmm," Drakken mused as he took a leisurely sip of his coffee, "they were kind of easier to get rid of than usual, weren't they?"
"Teenagers." Shego flapped a hand in dismissal. "You know how they are, they can never handle the discovery that people who are almost old enough to be their parents might actually be doing things like having sex." She chuckled. "And especially not villains. They'll have squicky mental videos rolling in their heads for days."
"That's pretty evil," Drakken said, sounding pleased as he sat down across from her at the counter, chin in hand as he looked at her fondly.
"You're right, it is," she said, rubbing her chin in thought, "should I charge you for it?"
"Do you accept...other forms of payment?" He asked in a husky sort of voice, smirking as he leaned forward to stroke her hand on the counter.
She simply stared at him for a beat or two before practically falling off of her stool, wheezing for air as she laughed uncontrollably. "G-good grief!" She gasped, trying to keep down the belly laugh, but failing, "D-don't try to be sexy! It's t-too funny!"
Drakken blinked at her before crossing his arms over his chest in a huff, "Fine, be that way— you won't be laughing when I won't let you get horizontal with me!" He threatened sulkily.
"Oh! Oh, please stop!" She laughed even harder, desperate for oxygen. "I, I need to breathe, I— 'get horizontal'? Did you just call it— ahahahahh!"
"Fine," he growled, growing seriously annoyed, "you can't have any more pancakes, then," He said as he pulled the plate away from her.
Her laughter gradually came to halt, then, and she grinned up at him as she climbed back onto her stool. "Now that's a threat, Dr. D." She said flippantly, sliding the pancakes over to her side again; he really was a very good cook. He let her take them, grumbling.
"How do you expect me to get any better at flirting if you never let me try?" He muttered.
"I can't help it if I laugh." Her grin was crooked. "You're a very funny guy when you're trying to get me all hot and bothered."
"I'm so glad this amuses you so much." He said in a deadpan voice.
The grin widened and an upbeat note turned up in her voice. "Hey, it could be worse, you could be boring me to tears!"
He glowered at her. "I'm sure you'll accuse me of that soon enough, too."
She rolled her eyes. "Oh, lighten up, Doc!"
He just scoffed, frowning down at his breakfast, his jaw tightening. It was only then that it occurred to her that she might honestly be wounding his ego.
Dropping the piece of toast she'd just picked up to put some butter on, she moved closer to him, leaning over his arm on the counter, her gaze turning soft. She wasn't used to having to be caring or supportive, but little by little, she'd come to understand how Drakken worked in a different setting than where she was used to dealing with him. And one of the things she'd learned was that he'd become a little more sensitive about her mocking after they'd gotten involved. Or maybe he was just daring to show it more. She'd also noticed that she often wasn't able to drop the wise cracks before it was too late.
She didn't know what to say, but let the soft, non-intrusive kiss she gave his lips speak for her. She felt his arms lift from the counter and embrace her almost grudgingly as he eventually kissed her back.
His slender fingers moved lightly, yet somehow possessively up and down her back through the pajama jacket she'd borrowed from him, and that combined with a sudden, soft, appreciative growl he let loose as he deepened the kiss, surprised her as she shivered, her body tingling and a warm rush of wetness heading down south.
When he wasn't trying to be sexy, she decided, that's when he was. When it wasn't forced, when he did it with no intention of doing it, when he was just being natural and responding to her, that's when it could have this kind of effect on her. She wasn't sure if she was going to tell him that, though.
"Mmm," He hummed in his throat, looking somewhat dazed and just about ready to forgive all of her past behaviour, and she placed a moist, lingering kiss on his cheek.
"Maybe we won't wait very long, maybe I'm ready," She said in a tingly half-whisper. "Maybe you're ready. Maybe it could already be tonight. Maybe even now."They'd already shared a bed for a week or two without going further than a little petting, and she knew they were both starting to want more now that they were finally getting comfortable around each other's bodies.
"Really?" He asked hesitantly, his eyes widening with the way she was looking at him.
"Well," she let go of him, grinning cheerfully, the sultry mood breaking, "that all depends if you're going to keep making me laugh when you're trying to turn me on!"
"Shego!" He spluttered at her blatant choice of words.
She laughed a little as she took a sip of her coffee. "Hey, whenever you're ready, Dr. D."
"Hmmphh!" He pouted, turning his nose up in defiance, clearly insulted. "Keep that up, and we'll be waiting for a very long time. That teasing isn't exactly attractive to me."
She looked up at him, then, and his facial expression and voice hit her square in the chest; sometimes he could be unintentionally adorable. Maybe it was because he could have such a strangely innocent face for a blue-skinned villain, maybe it was how easily his moods and his expressions changed with however she acted, almost like she had a personal remote control for them, or maybe it was how he could have such a big, broad-shouldered body and such an evil-looking appearance, yet somehow become so...so cute (even though she kind of hated that word) and look at her like it hurt him if she wasn't approving of him...
She didn't quite know what it was yet, maybe it was many things, but something about him made her heart swell in an embarrassing way, and her fingers itch to touch him; that pouty lip didn't make him any less appealing, either.
Within seconds, she was kissing him again as they tumbled to the floor together.
Drakken agreed to not wait any longer, but insisted on at least carrying her back to bed first.
Author's note: Yeah, I know. The Shego/Megara thing has been done by other people before, in fan art and fan videos. I still wanted to do it. I just loved her denial in Graduation.
I don't have a beta on these stories.
EDIT: The last half of the story, when they're in the lair, was cut from the very first version of Maslow, way back when.
Drakken and Shego got together a week or so after the plane ride and have been together for about a couple of weeks or three when this chapter occurs. Yeah...of course most of the stuff Shego said to Kim earlier was all hot air. Shego wants love, too, not just sex.
It was a real break to be able to play with the fresh, kind of innocent views of Kim, who's mostly (!) honest about her own feelings and has true and good intentions. Drakken and Shego are older, more cynical, evil, selfish, crooked, in denial, clueless and very, very complicated. With them, I have to wrap everything up in twenty layers of their weird, weird issues first, hahaha. There seems to be nothing simple and straight-forward about them.
Don't expect me to be writing any big, epic K/R romances, though. I've written enough teenage romance to last me a lifetime already.
And gaahhh, writing Rufus...is a big waste of time. Sorry, but I feel like it is.
Shego's reaction to Drakken bringing her magazines is similar to how she behaved when Martin Smarty got her hydrangeas. She does have that side to her as well. She can be non-sarcastic when somebody's sweet to her.