A/n disclaimer… I do not own twilight

Ever sense Edward and the rest of the Cullens got back from their hunting trip they knew something was wrong with me. They asked, I said nothing. I couldn't. I was physically not able to and Edward had trusted me and I let him down.

What happened was, I went down to La Push to visit Jacob and he, well, raped me. Of course, Alice didn't see it, and Edward can't read my mind, so nobody knows, only me and Jacob. Charlie said that Billy said that Jacob has been in a 'daze' lately.

I had my face hidden against Edward's chest, crying quietly, though I'm sure he noticed. He ran his fingers along my cheek to sooth me.

"Bella." He whispered.

"Yeah?" My voice broke.

He put his finger under my chin and titled my chin up. "Honey, what's wrong?"

I couldn't tell him, I just couldn't. how do I tell my virgin boyfriend, that I was not a virgin. That the boy he hated took it away from him and me.

But I couldn't lie; I was an awful liar, so I said the part truth. "Me and Jacob got in a fight. It's nothing really."

And, of course, I didn't convince him.

He sat us both up in sitting position so that I was somewhat in his lap. "Would you like to tell me what the fight was about?" Of course he was curious.

"No, not really." I admitted. Tears were still rolling down my cheek "Please, just not now." That was the best I could do.

I told Edward everything all the time. He was a little taken aback, though he agreed. Obvious confusion could be seen his is warm eyes.

Edward's POV

I left Bella the moment she fell asleep to hurry up and talk to Alice. Something happened to make Bella cry like this, something big.

Why won't she tell me? Though I knew she wasn't lying about the fight with Jacob.

Oh! How it frustrated me that I couldn't read her mind. Frustrated me so much. I wish just once I could know what she was thinking.

I was finally home. "Alice!" I actually yelled.

She was already coming down the stairs. "No, I don't know what is wrong with Bella. She does seem upset but she hasn't told me anything or plan to. Sorry don't know what to tell ya."

"Damn it!"

"Wow, Edward calm down." Emmett walked in from behind Alice. "What's the matter with Bella, found out yet?

I just glared at him and then turned to Alice. "Something is really wrong with Bella. Will you keep and eye out, Alice?"


Sunday, Bella's POV

When I woke up, my eyes were puffy and red. Charlie had already left to go fishing, which meant I had the whole day with Edward.

I rolled over onto Edward. Him and his rules! He grabbed my shoulder and pushed me back where I was.

The previous day came back to me, with that simple shove. Jacob had done the same thing to me when I tried to get up, only harsher. I flew up and out of bed. I ended up standing next to the bed in all but one second.

Remembering. I hate to remember. I try to forget but it doesn't work. I can't forget.

All I could do was look at Edward, I was not sure what my expression was. After a few seconds Edward said, "Bella, are you alright?"

I still couldn't talk nevertheless move. The room was shaking.


Edward quickly got off my bed and put his arm around me. His sweet scent didn't do anything for the shaking of the room. Then I noticed that it was me shaking.

He just held me until the shaking stopped. His arm was rubbing against my arm, reassuringly.

Finally, when I stopped shaking he walked us over to the bed and sat me on the edge. "Are you sick? Are you felling well?" his arm was around my waist, but I didn't mind.

"No, I feel fine. Maybe a little cold, but I'm fine, really." I hopped up and grabbed my toiletries and towel. "I think I'm going to go take a shower."

"Bella, tell me what's wrong." This time it wasn't a request.

"Edward, I'm fine. Trust me." I touched his cheek with the ends of my fingertips. "I'll hurry up."

I walked to the shower at normal human pace. Once I got there I quickly grabbed my shampoo, conditioner, shaving cream, and razor.

When I put the shaving cream on the sink, the razor fell and broke . The little blades were spread out on the floor.

I wasn't thinking, I just grabbed a blade from the floor and brought it to the top of my forearm and wrote:





Edward's POV

I smelled blood, lots of it. I ran to the bathroom and pounded on the door. "Bella! Open the door."

My cell vibrated in my pocket. Alice. She must have seen something. The minute I opened it I heard Alice screaming to me on the other end. "Bella, get Bella! Bring her to the hospital!"

I hung up and barged through the door. I saw Bella lying on the tiled floor, blood flowing from her arm. A razor blade in her hand. I didn't see the cuts, for there was too much blood.

I dialed 911.

It rung twice.

I grabbed the towel from the counter and applied pressure to her arm. This wasn't something my Bella would do.

"Forks' emergency room. How may I help you?"

"Can you come to Chief Swan's house immediately, please."

"State your emergency."

I swallowed. "Blood. Lots of it."

"And the address is?"

I gave her the address.

After I hung up, I crouched down near Bella, not wanting to get to close. I held her face. She looked at me like she didn't recognize me. "Bella, why did you do this? Bella! Can you hear me?"

She didn't answer.

"Bella, what happened? Bella, talk to me."

She opened her mouth and let out a whimper. "Edward, my arm hurts. It really hurts." She let out another whimper.

"I know Bella. Shh."

The sirens got louder and louder till they were outside the house. I really needed some air, so I walked to the front door. There were two men who were about to ring the bell.

"In the bathroom. Up the stairs and, first door on the left." I said immediately and they rushed into the house.

I took a few deep breaths and waited on the door step for them to bring Bella down.

Alice was at my side in only a few minutes. "It's really bad Edward. I saw the cuts as she was writing them. I know what's bothering her." Alice was almost in tears herself, if that were possible.

I couldn't read her mind; it was just to jumbled with a bunch of random thoughts. Just as I was about to ask what happened, they brought Bella down in a stretcher. I heard her whimper my name as I got out of the way. The towel was still on her arm.

"I'm going to ahead to the hospital, Alice, see if you can stay with her." I didn't wait for her to respond. I just ran into the woods. I ran as fast as I could toward Carlisle and the hospital.