The Soldier's Boy -
It was really awkard the day I came to the battlefield; I remember the entire team looming over me like dark giants, none with an ounce of pity on the new guy. The first day was merely getting there and listening to everyone tell me how scarred I was going to be after the first battle I saw. It wasn't that big of a deal, was it? I mean, at home, I always saw people getting murdered and stuff on television and it just rolled off everyone's shoulders. What a tragedy, big whoop.
The room I was given was roughly the size of my closet, but I was glad not to have to share with the other guys at this point. Especially since there was something obviously wrong with all of them, like the one guy who was always in the gas mask, even during off-times. I didn't trust anyone, nor did they trust me to do anything right. So, for the most part, I decided to hang on the sidelines and try to blend in with my surroundings.
I put my things away in my room, which seemed to be of odd fascination to our Demoman- as if he was looking for things he could swipe later. Probably, since I could smell it on him from a mile away, booze of an almost lethal acohol content. I said nothing and tried to act like I wasn't nervous. After, I pushed my way out and glanced around. Before I could do much else, the Soldier who assumed he was in charge was in my face and lecturing me as if I had accidentally blown up half of the place.
If I hadn't any more sense, I would have interrupted him and told him it was none of his damn business. Knowing it was for the better I kept my lips shut, as he belittled me and called me names. 'Yearling.' 'Weakling.' 'Spoiled Brat.' Apparently my upbringing in the city was also a mark of shame.
"The day I entered the service they whipped me like a dog and I didn't get a single meal until after I had completed my training!"
Yea right. He finally left, apparently out of hot air, leaving the both of us probably feeling very bitter for no reason. I could have never understood why he did it that early; I only learned when I went through the experience myself.
Within a day or two, without much warning, we were tossed in the fray. Apparently the opposing side had some critical intelligence that the world depended on; didn't matter to me, this was all a game. While my team began hazing out the front lines, I skirted effortlessly through the weapons and bodies right into base. It was just like at home, really, getting through the crowds, just these ones packed serious heat. Like the wind itself I rushed down the halls, and promptly knocked the heads off anyone in my way with no care. Soon I had found their control room and my target- I hoisted the heavy case over a shoulder and began dashing back out.
The trip out was much more difficult. Suddenly I was the center of attention, so the entire opposing team was on my ass. But I just kept going as fast as I could, only willing to stop when I had made it to freedom. It was my poor luck when I was hit.
A bullet went straight through my lower leg, and soon I met the ground and could feel the thunder of the army's feet behind me. All I could do was close my eyes and cringe, a few embarassing tears rolling down my face. I barely remember, but I was roughly grabbed up and run back to base.
I sat in the Medic's place, who told me I was pretty lucky that it was a clean shot. I needed some work, but it wasn't like, losing a limb or something. Just like I thought, though, it wasn't too tramuatizing. Just a bit of pain, right? Well... that and I had probably let the entire team down. I could imagine a letter sent back home detailing how my mother's son had doomed the entire planet because he tripped. It made my stomach churn, so I told the Doc I felt pretty bad off and stayed in a hospital bed for awhile.
Of course, it was boring as hell, even after I found a stack of magazines. The titles were mostly about, of course, guns and war, and the odd gardening title or two. Plus, they were all two years old. But it was better than nothing. That's when I got a visitor.
That damn Soldier again. I instantly frowned and looked up at him and just spit it out: "Yeah, I failed, you can send me home or whatever."
He studied me for a moment critically. "We recovered the intelligence in record time."
"I doubt that."
"It was only a matter of culling the herd when you had returned," he muttered, as if this was completely unimportant news, "You're pretty lucky to have been hit so close to base, and only sustain a minor injury."
I shrugged. The man frowned a bit.
"You better be on your feet by tomorrow."
I was again alone. I wondered, mostly, what the hell that was all about. I pushed it aside and tried to untie the knots in my stomach.
Getting up the next day was alot harder than I ever expected, since the painkillers had worn off and the pain had a chance to really sink in. I found myself barely able to stay on my feet. The crew took one look at my sorry state and immediately sent me to my room like a bad child while they fought. I was secretly glad, and spent most of the rest of the day putting together a model my mother had snuck along.
About a month. Then I was rolling along with the crew like I had always been there. Finally, I wasn't a complete outsider, but I still seemed to receive scorn for being the youngest. While it quietly hurt, I never let it show and put my best into it. But as I began to witness the true hell of fighting, it felt like bits of my mind were being knocked loose. At night, I often found myself shaking and sweating, in an unexplained fear. I found myself... really wanting my mommy.
That's when I guess I began to understand the Soldier. He would hunt me down and give me a scolding, mostly to let off the stress. While it simply put it on my shoulders, it did seem to help the guy. Finally in the middle of one of his rants I interrupted, "You know, dude, if you're having a problem, just tell me. Don't spray it all over my face."
"Don't you dare talk back to me!"
"Well, who died and gave you the right to make -my- life hell???"
He sneered at me and promptly hit me across the head. I staggered, but stood back up and gave my best stoic face. I wasn't going to let this bastard rule me; I only flinched when he suddenly put his hand on my shoulder.
I blinked, in awe. He simply walked off. He actually apologized? I left rather numb both physically and mentally. A quick visit to the medicine cabinet helped some, then I went to bed right away, my mind twisted around itself.
Apparently the event was some sort of breaking point, because after that, he didn't find me to berate me. Finally, he just talked; at first I was too stubborn to listen, but eventually... I began to learn about how, with all his experience, terrible fighting really was. He mentioned he had no real idea why we were at war with these people, just that he became so used to war it was habit. I began to feel comfort in the fact I wasn't completely alone in my nightly anguish, that he still had chills whenever he had time to pause and reflect.
I guess we sort of became partners, because from that point on he'd cover me, or get me out of situations that were over my head. I began to hear praise as well, like somehow I'd become a shining star in the dark night. The rest of the team just rolled their eyes, but I glowed under it. I found my place!
But then it started to get pretty weird. When I was taking time off in my room, he'd simply wander in and ask me how I was doing. I just found myself saying 'Alright' each time and just letting him stay. I think it was when I had gotten the flu and stayed in that the depth of his affection showed itself.
While I was ready to die, he made his usual round in. When I complained about my situation, he took a moment to think, then he came up and kissed my forehead. He said he hoped I felt better soon and took off, leaving me stunned. Woah, what the hell was going on here?
His future visits were often marked with him sitting right next to me and trying to cheer me up. When he noticed my few models, he began to bring them in on a regular basis, and even helped me with a few. Before long even this sort of contact felt natural, and I really didn't have much issue with it.
"I think if you position it like this..." He took my hand, which was holding a delicate plastic part, and moved it into place. Without a second thought I nodded and affixed it with the ever potent glue that stunk up the entire place and probably made us both a little high.
"Thanks," I was grinning like a little kid, moving right onto the next part. He mentioned that this little model looked like a plane he had shot down by hand- I let out an unbelieving laugh, which made him respond with a wave of real ones. We didn't even finish the damn thing that night because we started joking around and laughing too hard.
Apparently the glue won the battle because I woke up the next morning with a few parts glued firmly to my fingers, lying on the floor. Right next to me was the Soldier, looking completely gone. After removing the plastic pieces from my digits, I struggled but managed to get him out of the room and into fresh air, eventually leaving to wash my hands in vain. Damn glue.
I finally felt things were going a bit far, though, when I had gone in to take a shower. It was a damn public washroom, but I managed to slip in while everyone else was doing their own things. There was nothing more I hated than being watched when I was trying to attend to my hygeine that required my clothes to be off.
When someone stepped in I rolled my eyes and grumbled. I never turned to look, because man, that was just awkward. But suddenly there he was, standing next to me and using the shower, the Soldier, sans clothing. For some reason, I felt incredibly embarassed and tried to hide it by promptly washing my face.
"I can already see you missed a spot. Can't you even do that properly?"
"Hey man, be cool." I laughed nervously. Suddenly the dude was scrubbing down my back. I shivered, "Okay, that's enough, man!"
"I've been putting up with alot..." I muttered, wrapping my arms around myself, "But this is just freaky."
"..." He seemed very disappointed. "When at war, it's important to trust your comrades in any situation. Being jumpy gets people on your side accidentally killed."
"I doubt that applies to this!" I started to quickly finish, "Just... just lay off, it's creeping me out!"
"Yet you're blushing."
I flinched a bit.
"It's alright to admit you're lonely. And that you want some attention." He spoke softly and reassuringly. "Everyone out here misses being loved. I was hoping... you of anyone, would understand..."
"But... this is just..." I continued to blush, even to the point where my ears were blood-red. He gently reached around and patted at my bony shoulder, and I had to admit it was a little comforting. I let out a sigh.
"I'm sorry." He spoke so apologetically.
I couldn't say anything. I just turned and left. I didn't understand my emotions anymore. I wasn't suppose to enjoy this; this wasn't natural. But then why did I feel a little longing? Maybe I really had go crazy like everyone said I would.
I figured I had probably hurt his feelings and, for once, visited -him-. I tried to go in cheerfully, grinning and all that. "Hey Cap'n!"
He looked up from his desk and nodded with a grin. He was apparently working on something, so I walked over and peered over his shoulder. He proudly explained, "I am finished using our Spy's information and have made an almost complete map of the enemy base."
"Aw, sweet, dude!" I really was pretty excited, "This'll make all of our lives easier."
"I would think you most of all, since you're always the first in!"
I laughed a bit, then quieted. "Hey, about earlier... I'm... uh... sorry if I... hurt your feelings or something..."
"I'm sorry I overstepped my bounds."
I sat down on his bed, the springs complaining underneath me. I shrugged. "Er... well... you know... ahaha..."
"Yeah." He shifted a bit and we both kind of stared at the floors for awhile in awkward silence. I slowly got back up and rocked on my feet a bit, before timidly asking, "Well... I would like a hug, to admit it... I miss 'em and all... you wouldn't...?"
I found myself instantly wrapped up in his strong arms. Though of course at first I was apprehensive, the feeling of being held so protectively made me simply melt. It was warm and loving... something I hadn't been since I left home. I guess I lost myself in it, because I didn't really know how long I stayed right in that embrace. Just until my feet began to ache.
"Not so bad, huh?" He spoke tenderly.
"Yeah..." I smiled just a touch.
"You can stay for a bit, if you like. Here..." He let go to my dismay, and sat on the bed. He held his arms open again, and I simply drifted back, unable to say no. It was indeed more comfortable sitting, and I was able to forget everything as he held me. I never did leave that night, falling asleep right there.
Hugs became sort of a regular request of mine, and alot of my free time was now spent in close contact and comfort with him. It really did feel nice to be loved, despite anything I had previously thought. I figured I might as well try it out, given there wasn't many other choices lying about. Like an anxious kid, I began to experiment a little here and there, embracing in different ways, and even moving to nervous, pointless little kisses. It all was a real thrill, and my heart would go faster than I could run. I found it quite entertaining, and it did make the bad days go by.
Finally, after one long day, I wound my way back to his room, and we both exchanged a few silly little kisses and talked about the shit that happened, making it lighter and simply float away. I was feeling a little more goofy than normal... and a little bit more lovey.
"Well... uh..." I spoke nervously, grinning like a damn fool, sitting on his bed.
"What? That look of yours means trouble." He laughed, and sat down next to me as usual, giving my shoulder a good rubbing, "I'm not sure if I should be afraid or not."
"Maybe..." I turned myself so I was facing him. "Actually... I was just... feeling adventurous..."
"Really now? How so?" I shivered just a touch when I felt his fingers barely touch my skin at the bottom of my shirt.
"Just... like that."
Like usual, I let the attention flow onto me, letting things happen as they did. His warm large hands moved so smoothly just under my shirt, making me nearly melt. Plenty of kisses were lavished on my neck and lips, and I began to tremble in sheer excitement. I placed one of my wrapped hands over his and urged his touch up farther in my shirt. He stroked my skin lovingly, and I felt his other hand just barely slip under my belt. I let out a loud, happy sigh.
He pushed off my shirt and let off a hot breath across the bare skin. I had to admit I was pretty excited... in more ways than one. So when his other hand came to rest, outside of my pants, on my crotch, I blushed a bit and bit my lip. He just grinned... his hand gave me a few firm rubs. I shakily reached my hands down to my belt and begun to undo it.
"You sure? If this is too fast..."
"No, I..." I gulped, "This is what I want."
He carefully assisted, reassuring me with soft whispers that if I wanted to stop, he would on command. But I never said a word, eventually completely undressed. I had to admit I felt a bit weird about some man I met at work suddenly playing with my dick, but... As one hand was busy making me squirm, his other tugged his own clothes off. Soon my back was against his bare chest, and I could feel the warmth...
His hand was soon firmly wrapped around my member and moving quickly. I moaned and gasped under the feelings. But even as I built up, I knew he would want something... he deserved it, having spoiled me so much and my never reciprocating. When I could, I suddenly forced myself to lean over, winding up on my hands and knees on his bed. With an unspoken go-ahead, I nearly died in surprise when I felt a tongue across my butt. Good lord! This guy was, well, basically, literally, kissing my ass. No wonder people used that phrase so much!
"I don't want to hurt you." He whispered breathlessly, taking a moment to pause as he dipped his arm into a drawer by the bed. The sudden and very cold application of a slightly mint-scented lube made my skin dot with goosebumps. Finally, I felt him rise up and suddenly push in.
My muscles, of course, instantly fought back and at first I thought that I had just made a massive mistake. But he began to rock gently, and the feeling was like nothing I ever could have imagined... just the feeling of being one was enough to make me yell in pleasure. He built up ever so nicely, in a brilliant rythymn I could feel through my entire body. We probably began to make enough noise to alert everyone to what was going on, but I didn't give a fuck. This was worth everything, and was rapidly getting better.
Eventually, he was thrusting into me at full speed. I could do nothing but groan and drool, lost in the intense rolls of pleasure. Finally I couldn't take any more and let out a sharp yell, cumming violently. He followed quickly, and before I knew it, it was all over and I was wrapped up again in his arms. Both of our hearts seemed to beat in unison as we slowly began to work our way down...
These days are the same as any other, really. I'm out there in the fray, heading in before everyone else and back out in three seconds. As always, my Soldier is protecting me and waiting for my return... I hardly expected I'd ever find love in such a place. Unfortunately, it has granted a huge amount of teasing, and a bit of a taunting name; 'Soldier's Boy.'
But, then again, somehow... I didn't mind it a bit.