I Saw Daddy…
Summary: While taking his seven year old daughter out for a shopping trip, Harry ends up mortified when little Lily Potter reveals something he would rather keep private. SS/HP
Rice-Ball247: Hey there. I'm supposed to be doing my homework but I can't be arsed at the moment because I had the urge to write again. And what do you know, another Papa-Daddy oneshot involving Harry, Severus and little Lily. In 'A Simple Misunderstanding', you saw Severus being embarrassed, now it's Harry's turn!
Harry sighed for the umpteenth time as he scanned over his shopping list, mentally checking off the necessities before he went into the health aisle. Things were running rather dry in the pantry of the Potter-Snape household and Harry was doing the shopping while Severus was having a staff meeting at Hogwarts. Right now, he and his biological daughter (via Ginny) could be located at a Muggle shopping centre in London. "Yes, I know honey, but daddy needs to get some stuff that we need before we can go have lunch, okay, pumpkin?"
Obviously not satisfied, the seven-year-old Lily Potter huffed where she stood and crossed her arms over her chest in a rendition that gave Harry a rather frightening reminder of Draco Malfoy when he didn't get his way.
"No, I'm hungry now. I want chocolate. Papa said that growing girls need to eat."
"Papa said that growing boys need to eat when he tried to feed me his--" Harry cut himself short and flushed as he glared down at his daughter. "I hate it when you do that! Have you been spying again?"
She gave him an innocent smile, "Do what?"
"What am I doing?" she asked in a singsong voice as she strolled into the health aisle, pushing past her father as she went.
"Stop that! Never mind," Harry grumbled quietly to himself as he glanced around the shelves, eye open for something in particular. "I can't believe I'm arguing with a brat."
Harry was broken from his thoughts when Lily chortled out loud, "Daddy, I found my chocolate."
"In the health aisle?" Harry's eyebrow rose at his daughter's statement, before his eyes widened in a comical gesture when they sighted what young Lily proudly raised in her hands. "Lily! Put that down!"
"I can read it!" Lily squinted at the words, "Choc'lit flay-flavoured co… con… condo…"
"Stop that!" Harry snatched up the small box from her hands, his cheeks flushed as he nodded to a passing couple (the male winked at him). "Why don't you go look for some toothpaste, darling?"
"Kay!" Lily gave him a toothy grin and scampered off down the end of the aisle, feeling as if it were her duty to be on the lookout for said toiletries. When her attention had been successfully averted, Harry surreptitiously slipped the small box into his shopping basket.
He debated for roughly two seconds before he also dropped a new bottle of lubricant into the basket. Merlin knows they needed more. Severus liked to—
Argh. Enough. Shopping. Not sex. Shopping.
"Daddy, I gots the toothpaste!" Lily announced as she practically threw the long box into the bright red shopping basket.
"Got, Lily, not gots," Harry corrected absently as he ushered her out of the health aisle and towards the party snacks. In his pocket, his mobile phone began to ring and vibrate.
'Speaking of vibrate…' Harry thought as he answered it. He kept a close eye on Lily, who seemed to be quite taken with the Muggle version of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans (which, of course, were only available in the normal flavours).
"'Lo?" Harry mumbled, reaching over to tug Lily's hand away from reaching out to the tempting looking packet of beans.
"Speak up, Potter. How do you expect me to use these dratted Muggle devices if you yourself refuse to use them properly?"
Harry pulled his ear away from the phone and grimaced, signaling to Lily in their 'code' that it was Papa on the other line. She grinned up excitedly and tried to speak over Harry's voice.
"Sorry darling," Harry replied, grinning down at her daughter while he squatted to bring the phone to her ear.
"Hi Papa!" Lily chirped cheerfully as Harry straightened himself and went to search for some of that dark chocolate that Severus enjoyed. It put him in a really good mood and when he was, Severus tended to be a bit more possessive and—
Right. Shopping. Not sex. Shopping.
He drowned out the sounds of Lily's chattering as he found his goal and placed it over the bottle of lubricant and chocolate flavoured condoms. Damn.
Shopping. Not sex. Right.
"Papa said I can have my chocolate," Lily smiled innocently up at Harry, holding the phone up to him as if it would give him proof that Severus had, indeed, given permission for their daughter to have her treat.
"Did he now?" Harry asked as he placed the phone by his ear. "Did you Sev?"
"I said she could have a little, as in two blocks. I don't want her pigging out like that cousin of yours," Severus grouched, causing Harry to giggle as a mental image came to mind.
"Two blocks, papa said," Harry held up two fingers to the now pouting girl. She stomped her foot and huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.
"No! I want my chocolate! All of it! Papa said I could!"
"Papa said you could only have two blocks," Harry argued back, feeling his cheeks flush when people began to stop and pretend to shop, when really, they were staring to their hearts content. Harry couldn't figure out why but really, watching children throw a tantrum in a shopping centre was extremely funny to him, especially when Lily did this with Severus.
Although, that rarely happened, and when it did, Lily would accept Severus' decision and pipe down.
"Is she throwing a tantrum?" Severus sounded mildly amused.
"Yes," Harry grumbled into the phone. "When we get home, you need to set her straight."
"Straight. Asking a gay man such as myself-"
"Can it, Sev," Harry snapped, grabbing Lily's shoulder before she could run off to get some chocolate anyway. "And I said no, Lily. Two blocks is all you're getting. I'll buy you some now but you can't eat the rest until later."
"NO! I WANT MY CHOCOLATE NOW!" Lily huffed and puffed and tried to disentangle herself from Harry's grip. Harry had to admit, despite the fact that she was so small, she had the energy of a spitfire and it probably came from Ginny.
"Lily Luna Potter, you behave yourself right now or you will not be receiving any chocolate, do you understand?" Harry used his stern tone of voice without raising it any higher than necessary. It was obvious to those around them what was going on, however.
Lily's face grew red with anger until she opened her mouth. Harry wished she didn't.
In fact, Harry wished he'd just gotten her the damned chocolate and be done with it.
But no, Harry Potter always found a way of being mortified and today seemed to be no exception.
"If you don't get my chocolate now, I'll tell Grandma that I saw you eating Papa's pee-pee last night!" Lily screamed as loud as her little lungs could. The results were instantaneous. Harry's face flushed red with embarrassment and anger. Lily seemed confused, but then satiated, when Harry grabbed the biggest block of chocolate he could find and shoved it unceremoniously into her small hands.
"We're leaving now," he announced, more to himself than to any one in particular, clearing his throat. They paid and left, hearing the ringing sounds of laughter behind them being cut off abruptly as the sliding doors closed.
"I see you caved in," Severus stated as Lily rushed into the kitchen with chocolate smeared over her face and hands. "Lily, make sure you wash up before dinner. Don't touch anything with your hands dirty!"
"How come she listens to you and never listens to me?" Harry grumbled as he enlarged their shopping and dropped them onto the counter.
Severus smirked as he took the exhausted young man into his arms, kissing his forehead gently, "Because I'm a teacher. We have ears that can hear for miles, eyes that can see through walls and sharp tongues that can make even the toughest bully cry for their mommy."
"In other words, discipline is the key," Harry grinned as he snuggled into Severus' chest. "Speaking of sharp tongue…"
Severus smirked as he pulled Harry towards their bedroom, "Yes. I'll show you a sharp tongue…"
Harry happily followed Severus into the bedroom and closed the door behind him, but stopped short when the man suddenly spun around and pinned him to the door. "Did you know that Lily's been spying at us again? Those retched Weasley twins have been testing out their X-ray vision goggles on her."
Harry's mouth dropped open as they heard a loud, poorly muffled giggle from behind the closed door.
"How did you…?"
"I figured it out when I heard her blasting out our private business at the top of her lungs through the phone," Severus sighed as he rubbed the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb. "And how do you turn off that wretched loudspeaker?!"
Harry's mouth dropped open in horror before the humour finally set in and they both laughed, long and hard.
Rice-Ball247: Please review. Inspiration for this little oneshot came from: http:// snopes (dot) com / risque / kinky /peepee (dot) asp
Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!