Title: Comedy of Errors
Category: Flame of Recca
A/N: For this story, I will be heavily borrowing from Jennifer Crusie's Manhunting and Cyndi Haynes & Dale Edwards' 2002 Things To Do On A Date. I'm looking forward to hearing from you!
Summary: Alternate Universe. Fuuko Kirisawa braves the dating scene and finds out just how many frogs a girl have to kiss before she can find her prince.
Standard disclaimers apply (there is a reason this is called fanfiction).
Beta-Reader: None (yikes!)
Comedy of Errors
Things to do on a date # 1550: Visit with your family.
After countless years of communing with Mother Nature, survival became second-nature to Fuuko Kirisawa. In the dog-eat-dog world of the wild, one learns to adjust to one's environment, or one simply ceases to exist.
That is why, upon arrival at the jungle, Fuuko's survival instincts kicked in. She knew she was out of her element, and her highest change of survival would depend on her ability to hide.
"Do I even want to know why you are hiding behind the potted plant, Kirisawa?" Mikagami asked dryly.
Rats. Foiled by a predator in a tuxedo. Fuuko stood up from her crouching position and faced her captor. Fuuko looked at her alleged date critically. Well, if she was going to get caught, she might as well be caught by a cute-looking wolf and not the She-Vulture she was hiding from. But she planned to milk the situation for all it was worth.
"You Judas Iscariot!" She accused him vehemently. "How can you abandon me?"
"Can you blame me?" Mikagami's teeth flashed in a grin. He glanced around the crowded ballroom and noted that some people, namely the press invited to cover the fund-raiser, were glancing their way with speculation.
"No." Fuuko admitted. "If the situation was reversed, I would have done the same thing."
"I'm sorry to have unleashed that upon you. But it was either you or me, Kirisawa."
"And you would rather it to be me." Fuuko concluded glumly.
"Of course." He replied. "That's why you are here in the first place."
"There you are, Kirisawa-san." A cool, sophisticated voice entered the duo's conversation. "I was looking everywhere for you. What are you doing behind that potted plant?"
Fuuko gave Mikagami an anguished glance before facing the new-comer, the reason he abandoned her within thirty minutes of arriving at the fund-raiser. Fuuko's She-Vulture. "Mikagami-san," she greeted Mikagami's mother. "I was just getting some fresh air."
Amaya Mikagami, a renowned socialite, was in her element at her daughter's fund-raising party. Her deep blue dress hugged her curves and highlighted her icy-blue eyes. Her pale blond hair, which was piled atop her head, was discreetly colored to hide its silver streaks. Fuuko had to admit that the woman in front of her did not look like she already had a fully-grown son.
Unfortunately, for all her beauty, Amaya Mikagami was a dominating force of nature, whose only wish now was to see her children married so that she may have grandchildren to mold into her image and likeness.
That being told, Mikagami (the bastard!) dropped quite a few obvious hints to his mother that things were getting pretty serious between him and his date.
"Very vell, Kirisawa-san, break time is over." Amaya frowned in disapproval. "Do stand up straight. Slouching will not do if you plan on becoming a Mikagami. Come on. There is someone you absolutely have to meet."
A steel grip latched on Fuuko's arm. Help me! The younger woman begged her date as she was dragged away by her elder.
Mikagami, being smart and well-versed in survival techniques himself, pretended not to notice.
"Your mother likes your date."
"How can you tell?" Tokiya Mikagami asked with a smirk as he turned to look at his father.
"She's introducing Kirisawa-san to your grandfather." Yuki Mikagami smiled indulgently.
Ah, crap. Tokiya winced. If Ayama was bad, his grandfather was worse!
It was, however, Tokiya's turn to be surprised. He didn't know that Kirisawa had it in her. With a intimate smile or two, she was able to charm her way into the Mikagami patriarch's good graces.
Father and son watched in amazement as the crusty senior took hold of Fuuko's hand and started to lead her to the dance floor.
"Lecherous old geezer." Tokiya muttered as he watched his grandfather's arms encircle Fuuko's waist. Unfortunately, he was heard by his father.
Yuki Mikagami chuckled. "A woman like that comes only once in a lifetime, son." He said. "A smart man wouldn't let her get away." With that parting shot, Yuki walked away.
The secret to surviving in the jungle is stealth. Especially if one had just escaped the clutches of a predator.
In her haste to escape the clutches of the She-Vulture, Fuuko almost missed the flash of brown that may may spell the difference between life and death.
In the wild where might makes right, the weak protect themselves by going out in groups. Safety in numbers.
"Yanagi-chan!" Fuuko called out. "You don't know how glad I am to see you!" From her hiding place behind the buffet table, she hurriedly made her way to a table occupied by the brunette and an unfamiliar male.
Of course Yanagi was going to be here. She was, after all, a distant relative of the Mikagamis. Silly Fuuko for not making the connection earlier.
"So where's that idiot you call your husband?" Fuuko asked.
The conversation at the table suddenly halted. Both its occupants stared at the newcomer.
"I'm sorry," Yanagi told Fuuko with a frown. "I think you may have mistaken me for someone else."
"Don't tell me you forgot about me, Yanagi-chan." Fuuko moaned. "I know we haven't seen each other for years when I was abroad, but I was just in your house, like, three weeks ago. And you were eight months pregnant." Fuuko's eyes then trailed down to the other woman's flat stomach. "You are not Yanagi-chan, are you?"
The Yanagi-lookalike shook her head almost apologetically.
"And the floor's not going to open up to swallow me whole, isn't it?" Fuuko felt her face getting red.
"I'm afraid not."
An awkward silence fell at the table.
"I'll just—" Fuuko began the same time the man at the table stated, "Don't worry about it."
"I'm Mifuyu Mikagami." The brown-haired woman smiled. "I get mistaken for Yanagi-chan a lot."
"Oh." Realization dawned on the younger girl's face. Mifuyu. Mikagami's nee-chan. "Oh! You probably don't remember me, but we went to the same high school together. I'm Fuuko Kirisawa."
"Fuuko Kirisawa?" The guy at the table butted in. "The Fuuko Kirisawa?"
"As far as I know, I'm the only Fuuko Kirisawa there." She told the guy.
"Don't you remember me?" The big guy asked as he stood up from the table. "Me? My sugar-pie? My honey? My love?"
Fuuko's eyes widened in shock.
"It's me, Domon Ishijima."
"Nice hiding place." Came a sardonic voice. "Mother's been looking everywhere for you."
"Toki-chan, you know each other?" Mifuyu asked in amazement while motioning for her brother to have a seat.
"She's my date, nee-chan." He smirked as he seated himself beside his absentee date.
Fuuko resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Mikagami, you do remember Domon Ishijima, don't you?"
"Of course." He replied as he turned to the younger man. "This benefit dinner is for you, correct? I always research my sister's causes before I pour money into them."
"It's for my kids, actually." Domon smiled. The reason Fuuko did not recognize his high school friend was because he not only shaved off his Mohawk and was now completely bald, facial hair had covered almost half his face.
"Your kids?" Fuuko raised an eyebrow.
"I'm a P.E. teacher for a school at the wrong side of town." Domon clarified. "Because of the recent recession, there were cuts to the school's budget, especially in its athletic and music department. I heard about Mifuyu-san's philanthropic projects so I took a chance and approached her." He motioned to the sparking ballroom. "And the rest, as they say, is history."
"Who would've thought that you would turn out to be a teacher, Domon?" Fuuko grinned. "You've certainly come a long way."
"And who would've thought that you and Mikagami-san would turn up together?" Domon grinned.
"Oh no," Fuuko started to deny the allegation, but she was interrupted by her pseudo-date.
"Who would've thought indeed?" Tokiya smirked as he wrapped an arm around Fuuko's shoulders.
Fuuko gave the blue-eyed man a sneaky elbow which merely earned her a chuckle.
"So here you all are!" A familiar voice which made Fuuko's skin crawl joined in.
Activity suddenly erupted from their table.
"I hear one of the kids calling me."
"I just remembered that I promised one dance with Dad before the night is over."
"Excuse me a moment, I got a phone call."
Fuuko opened her mouth to manufacture an excuse, but Ayama beat her to it. "It looks like it'll be just the two of us again, ne, Fuuko-chan?"
Fuuko barely suppressed a groan.
"Thanks, Kirisawa, I owe you one."
The ride back to Fuuko's house was made in silence after the woman admitted that she was suffering a headache. Hence, Mikagami broke the silence only when he was parked in the driveway of her rented house.
"It's more like you owe me a million." Came the terse reply.
"It wasn't that bad, was it?"
"Your dad was such a gentleman, your nee-chan was charming and your grandfather was a dear," Fuuko said. "But your mother!" She shuddered. "I can't believe you abandoned me thrice—thrice!—alone with her."
"What's wrong with my mother?"
"She's controlling, domineering, meddling, and—and," Fuuko deflated as she ran out of adjectives.
"She reminded you of your own mother?" Mikagami supplied.
"Yes!" Came the frustrated reply. "It's almost eerie. If ever those two decide to join forces, I daresay they could take over the world! The world, Mikagami!"
Seeing how overwrought his so-called date was, Mikagami decided that to laugh was tantamount to signing his death sentence. "I'll walk you to your door." He said instead. He alighted the vehicle, walked to Fuuko's side and gallantly opened the car door and walked her to apartment.
"But you're right, Mikagami." Fuuko admitted as the man took her house key and opened her door. "It wasn't that bad. There were parts I actually enjoyed."
"I enjoyed tonight, too." Mikagami handed back her house key and stepped closer to Fuuko.
Fuuko's eyes widened.
"Thanks, again." Mikagami suddenly swooped down and feathered quick butterfly kisses at Fuuko's forehead, cheeks, and finally at her lips.
Fuuko froze in shock.
"Sweet dreams, Kirisawa." Mikagami gave her his trademark smirk and stepped back, but not before he tucked an errant strand of purple hair behind Fuuko's ears.
Fuuko gave Mikagami a horrified look, before making a hasty retreat inside her house.
to be continued . . .