Summary: Iggy and Ella create a list of '10 ways Fang can irritate Max' and blackmail Fang into doing the things on the list.

Rated for: Language and suggestive themes.

Disclaimer: In no way, in no universe, on no planet do I own Maximum Ride and the characters.

Note: The entire story is from Fangs POV.




Ever had those moments where you would give absolutely anything to go back in time, just a little? Yeah? Well unfortunately, no matter how hard you try to undo something, it never works. I knew that. I knew I'd regret opening my mouth at the wrong time.

Alright, maybe I should start from the beginning.

Basically, I said something I really shouldn't have and now Iggy and Ella are blackmailing me. If I back out, not only are they going to tell the flock (and Max's mom and dad) what I had said, but they're going to alter it a bit to make it worse. I suppose I could deny it, but who do you think they would rather believe; Sweet, perfect Ella and poor blind Iggy or dark, mysterious Fang? Yeah, I thought so…

So anyway, they're blackmailing me into annoying Max. Usually, I'd enjoy that, but wait 'til you hear what they want me to do, and I've got to do all of them:

'1. Back her up against a wall, put your face close to hers and remind her about the beach and/or the bat cave.' Apparently Gazzy told Iggy about the beach incident, but how the hell did they know about what happened the cave?!

'2. Tell Jeb about the kiss(es) and blame it on Max when she's in the room.' I am not going to make it through this unharmed.

'3. Refer to her as "Baby" "Sweetheart" "Honey" etc…'

'4. Carve "M" and "F" into a nearby tree and border the letters with a heart.' That's… not so bad…

'5. Gush over her and kiss her on the cheek as often as possible.'

'6. Stare at her for a while, then tell her that she's got the most beautiful eyes ever and that anyone could get lost in them.'

'7. When alone with her, smirk, growl at her, give her a sexy look and tell her, "I'm about to make you the happiest girl on the planet!"'

'8. Remind her that Angel sees you two as parent figures and that just proves that you were meant to be together.'

'9. Wet your hair, take your shirt off and deliberately bump into Max. Look at her, grin and lick your lips.'

'10. Announce, in front of everyone (including Jeb and Dr. M), that in ten years, Max is going to be Mrs. Fang.' Are these two trying to kill me?! If I don't die of embarrassment then Max is going to kill me and if Max doesn't kill me, Jeb is going to kill me… either way, I lose.

I sighed. Alright, let the humiliation begin.


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