It's silent on the field. I stand with my hands in my pockets, staring around at the bleachers and more. My breath comes out as white smoke, face flushed and tear stained. I look around silently, the wind whipping at me gently, the sky faded white. I stare down at the grass, wiping my left sole across the blades. My blank stare looks up. My attention is at the middle of the field. I can imagine him talking to the rest of his team mates, huddled in a large group as they discuss the next plan. Every time, before they preform it, he flashes a smile. That smile I love. But now I hate it. I hate him. I hate everything about him, especially his mixed emotions and the fact he can't make up his god damn mind. Well fuck Stan. He's a fucking bitch.
Wait... what am I saying? I can never hate Stan. I just simply hate his thoughts. I hate how he can't make up his mind. It's tearing me apart, and I wish he would just make a decision and stick with it. But no. Stan has to be so god damn difficult. He has to make me sit in suspense and depression while he shoots the shit and does who knows what with Wendy, while he secretly shows his love for me. I don't understand how Stan can turn around at one moment and confess his love for me, then turn his back to me and mack with Wendy. And of course when he realizes I saw the scene, he tries to call me back. There's nothing he can do that will make me feel any better. There's nothing he can do that will make me forgive him. Nothing will let me fall for his little games again.
But then why do I always find myself forgiving him every time? Maybe it's because whenever I look at him, his bright eyes staring back at me, a smile upon his soft lips, I can't help but want to forgive him. He makes me so happy. The thought makes a grin spread on my mouth.
Talking causes me to jump. I turn on my heel, seeing the football team walk towards the middle of the field. Stan doesn't look at me, holding onto his helmet between the crook of his elbow. He eventually pulls it on, now huddling with the team, his back facing me. Like I always had done, I sit on the bottom bleacher and watch as they discuss, waiting for the practice game to begin. It seems Stan cleared things up with the other classmates on his team, for they don't seem to shun him out of playing. While I watch, I don't remove my eyes from Stan. Every girl in the school always complimented on how... er... 'well fitted' his uniform was. I couldn't agree more. I fold my arms on my lap, watching the game in progress.
Then my attention is broken, a familiar voice calling my name. My head is turned and I see Clyde at the end of the bleacher, gesturing to follow him. A sigh escapes my parted lips, standing up. Once I reach him, I simply say "What?"
A hand grabs the back of my jacket, whipping me back and around. Cartman holds me by the collar now, our faces inches apart. A scowl is plastered upon his face. "'Sup, jew." he growls.
My eyes narrow. "What do you want Cartman?"
"Your ass kicked." he responds.
I roll my eyes. "Right. Because a fatty like you can kick my ass?" I mutter. "I'm surprised you can even stand."
"He's right." a voice sighs. It's Craig. I look over my shoulder to him. They're all there. Craig, Thomas, Clyde and Tweek. "Your fat ass can't beat the shit out of him." Clyde snickers. Thomas tics a 'SHIT'.
"'Ay! Fuck you guys!" Cartman yelps. Craig shrugs, the others silent.
"I agree with Craig." Tweek murmurs, his body trembling as always.
"Well you wanna do it?!"
I gasp, thrown against Tweek. The others laugh, Tweek pushing me away and into the middle, surrounded by my once 'somewhat' friends. "AGH, too much pressure!" he exclaims, putting his fists to his mouth and staring, still shaking.
"That's what you always-FUCK- say." Thomas hisses.
"None of that matters!" Cartman declares. "Let's just kick his ass."
I gaze at them all, a terrified look on my face. I try to remove it, but I can't help it. I bet I could take them on, just not all at the same time.
"Why do you want to kick my ass?" I snarl. "I didn't do anything to you."
"You tried turning our quarterback gay," Cartman says. "and you're gay yourself."
I glare. "So your homophobic?"
"I wouldn't say that." he sighs. "Just against you!"
My heart races. Then my back hits against the metal bleaches, the knot on my back pulsating once it hits the steel. I gasp in pain. I'm struck again though, stumbling. I catch balance, shooting a scowl up at Cartman who had punched me. I lift my fist, swinging it at his cheek. It hits him successfully and he hits the ground with a thud. Craig is the one with the big enough balls to come at me next. It's a blur of motion as I dodge two punches. But as I raise, he manages to sock me straight in the chin, my head swinging back, and I fall. I sit myself up, but he pounces on me like a tiger, forced to hit the floor once again. Clyde cheers in the background while Craig takes hits at my face. I try to push him off several times. "Shit!" Thomas yelps. Craig stops, looking up. Stan is racing this way, throwing the helmet off his head.
"Fuck." Craig utters under his breath. This is my chance. I grunt as my fist punches Craig right in his nose, causing him to flip back. I pull myself away, watching him roll on the floor whispering words to himself as blood embraces his fingers. Stan is here by now, staring at them in outrage. Cartman, of course, had already left the scene. Tweek and Thomas had already begun to take off, running side by side back to the high school. He looks at Craig now, walking to the black haired boy and yanking his arm free from his nose. The look on Craig's face is priceless, a look of horror as his bloody nose is inches away from Stan's.
"Never fucking touch him again." he hisses. "If I ever see... or hear that you do this again, you'll be dead." Craig glances at me, but his attention is snapped back to Stan as the boy's grasp tightens on Craig's wrist. "Don't even look at him." Stan pushes him away now, Craig stumbling before catching balance an racing off into the distance with the other boys. I look up at Stan, letting out an exhale. He slowly turns to me. "What happened?" he whispers, crouching down next to me and stroking my red hair.
I slap his hand away, staring at him bitterly. "They decided to kick my ass because of us."
Stan frowns. "I knew this would happen."
"Yeah, well who gives a shit." I struggle as I stand to my feet, Stan following me as I begin walking towards the school. I hear his coach call him to get back. But he ignores him. "Stan, just leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you right now, let alone see you."
Stan grabs my wrist before I can walk any further, swinging me back in a rush. He presses me against him, hands traveling to the low of my black. I try to squirm away from him. "Maybe I can change your mind."
I gape, pushing him off of me angrily. "Shut the fuck up, Stan." I hiss. "It's already fucked me up enough."
"Whatever happened to not caring?"
"Maybe I don't keep my word much." I snap. "Just like you."
"What do you me-"
"I thought you loved me? Why did you kiss Wendy?!"
Stan rubs the back of his neck. "I couldn't stand to see her like that."
"So you let me suffer?" I turn away, beginning to storm off again.
He runs faster than I walk, stopping in front of me and grabbing me by the shoulders. "It's not like that, Kyle!" I don't look at him. "I don't want to see both of you like that, and you're a real dumb ass for thinking I'd want to see you upset, let alone be the one to cause it."
I sigh, my eyes averting the ground and looking to him. "You just don't get it, Stan. You don't know how to have a good, healthy relationship. You really know how to ruin them." the ending is hissed out, and I can tell it hurt him, for he flinched.
He wets his lips. "Give me a chance, Kyle."
"How?" I growl. "You're with Wendy, aren't you?" No response. "Exactly!" I shove past him, stalking off. I hear his foot steps behind me, but he remains silent. I don't say anything, I don't want to. There's nothing left to say, and I know Stan knows. I know he's lost this battle, and so does he.
He speaks: "What can I do to change this?"
"There's nothing you can do."
He stops walking, my foot steps leading me away from him slowly. The bell rings in my ears now, and I hear classes get out, everyone merging to the hall. I head towards the buzzing, people scrambling around inside. Then he catches up to me, trying to take hold of my hand. I slap his away, shooting an angered glare. Stan returns a frown. "Kyle, please."
"No, Stan." I mutter. I see Wendy and her friends talking by the door. Wendy turns her head and sees us, muttering something to Bebe. Then she begins to open the door. My eyes roll.
"Just give up." I whisper to him.
"Kyle." Stan breaths, grabbing my wrist. Wendy stops walking to us, staring in confusion. I twist my body to look at him. He shifts, making it so I no longer need to twist myself around. "Give me another chance." he whispers to me. "I can make this up to you. I promise."
"No, you don't promise." I utter. "You'll just turn around and do it all over again after screwing Wendy." I hear a gasp come from her, but I could care less. Wendy's a bitch anyway.
Stan's hand lifts, placing it upon my cheek. He lowers his head slightly, gazing at me. "Don't be so stubborn." he says, giving a disappointed sigh.
"Right. Me. Stubborn." I grumble bitterly. "Because I have no god damn right to be pissed at you."
Stan chuckles. How dare he laugh at this. His thumb strokes my face, then our faces are only an inch away. "Just shut up, Kyle." he says.
"Why should I?"
He beams. "How can I kiss you if you're talking?"
Wendy gasps again. I smile at this. "Are you telling me you are going to change?"
"Yep." he says, flashing his teeth with a crooked smile, a smile I love. "Anything for you."
"You say that a lot." I sigh.
"It's true." he responds. "You may not think it, but it is." I look away from him, my anger calming down. But it's still there in the pit of my stomach. He takes hold of my face between both hands. "Calm down, dude." the boy commands. Then he leans in, our lips meeting. I can't help but melt into it, my hands reaching to his chest and resting there as he kisses me. While this happens, Wendy bursts into tears, also throwing a fit of anger. I hear her sobbing to Bebe, angry words about Stan and I. But I don't care what she has to say about us. Wendy comes to us now, hitting against Stan's shoulder. His eyes slam open, looking at her. He stops kissing me, causing me to inhale. We both look at her. "What?"
"What do you think you're doing, Stan?!" she snaps. "You're MY boyfriend!"
Stan rolls his eyes, lifting his middle finger to her. She scowls in outrage. "Exactly." he hisses. "You're a bitch, Wendy."
Wendy snarls, flipping around and running off to her friends. I look back at Stan, grinning. "Seriously?"
Stan lets out a low laugh. "How many times do I have to say this? Anything for you."
I smile at him, slamming against his chest as wrap my arms around his waist. He lowers his hands to my back. "You won't change your mind?"
"Good." I sigh, resting my head against his collar bone. He strokes the top of my head. "I didn't think I could have handled it any longer."
Stan continues stroking my hair. "Yeah," he agrees. "I should listen to you more often."
At least he finally listens to me.
I stare down at Kenny's tombstone, a single rose in my hand. My fingers are intertwined around it, trying to avoid the thorns. "Well, you were right Kenny." I whisper, crouching down. My hand rubs along the smoothly carved words. I shut my eyes for a minute before revealing them again. "You were right about everything. I should have told him a long time ago. And maybe if I just told him when I first realized it we wouldn't be in this situation. Fuck dude, maybe you'd still be with us. Or maybe it's just fate. Destiny." I allow a soft smile. "Just like Stan and I... Man. I wish you were here so much. I miss you, Kenny. You'd be happy, I know it. I also made sure that Cartman got hell of a beating. He deserved it for not helping you, that ass wipe... It's summer, Kenny. Your favorite season. It's really hot, believe it or not. It feels good though. It's like the sun is happy." I laugh. "I know what you'd say to that. You'd think it's gay. But whatever." my shoulders rise and lower. I fall silent as I stare at the picture that is carefully placed upon the dirt, a couple of flowers placed around it. I pick it up, staring at the glass and blowing some dirt off. I stare carefully at the picture, the blond boy smiling back at me. Tears begin to swell. I dab my eyes with my sleeve. "I wonder what you look like now. I hope you didn't let your hair grow out like you wanted too. You look better with it short like that. You're perfect the way you are." I place the frame back on the dirt, looking back up at the stone. I stand now, shoving my hands in the pockets of my black tux, my ska's kicking against the grass. "Stan and I are going to college together, did he tell you that? I'm really nervous. I wish you could be with us. He wants me to move in with him once his apartment is settled. I guess I'm up for it." I grow silent. The wind shifts against me, my hair blowing in my eyes. "Enough about me. How are you doing?" Like every time I visit him, like every time I ask him questions, there is no response. But I know. I know he's there, and I know he's listening. I know my friend is doing just fine and is in a much better place. But every bit of me wants him to come back home. I wipe at my eyes again, leaving water marks.
"Kyle!" I look over my shoulder. Stan is standing, one of his legs in the drivers seat of his car. He gestures to come. "Let's go, dude! We can visit him when we get back! Tell the bastard I love him and c'mon!" I flash a smile, watching as he sits back down. I turn myself back to the grave.
"Stan says he loves you. I love you too. We'll be back soon, I promise. Keep well." I let the rose drop in the middle of the dirt patch, the flower gently striking it. I give a salute like motion to Kenny's rock-engraved name. "See ya, dude." I smile at it, turning around and jogging to the car. Stan and I drive off, off to our future. Together.
I'm not afraid of what will come in my future. I know whatever will happen it'll be fine. Life has problems and you must deal with them. You learn from your mistakes and mistakes that others make. I'm still learning mine, and so is Stan. But we love each other, and that what makes us so strong, and that's what holds us together as one. And that will never change.
So I've finally completed GBW&D. I know it's a bit short (or at least I've seen longer) but whatever. I tried c: Yay, Stan finally made up his mind, after long and emotional torture for little emo Kyle. I hope you enjoy this, I know it was really fun writing it. A few times I wish I would have put more time into it, but well.. I don't have forever / At least I managed to get it done. And it didn't take as long as I expected either