The words had squeezed my heart making it impossible to breathe. "You need w-what?" I was completely breathless.
He sighed a deep sigh. "I need you. You have no idea how I have suffered." My eyes met his and I could see he wasn't lying. He had felt miserable.
"I have suffered too. I was numb. Except for when the depression attacks came." Something seemed to have caught his interest because he was completely at ears.
"Depression attacks?" I was right; something had caught his attention.
"What were they like?"
I bit my lower lip. "The most excruciating feeling I have ever encountered."
Brian's eyes widened. "You can also feel me."
I heaved an eyebrow. "What?"
His lips made a perfect O; his eyes were still wide open. "Ella Mae, remember we are connected?"
I nodded perplexed. "How can I forget?"
He took a deep breath as if he was comforted. "That's why I didn't feel anything," he whispered almost inaudibly. I scowled at him and made a 'hurry up' face. "Those depression feelings were mine. You felt them because of the connection."
I ran my fingers through my hair. "So what you're saying is, that these attacks were never mine?"
He nodded cautiously making sure I wasn't angry. His face was so flawless and porcelain like.
"What about the anger attacks from before? Were they yours too?" His eyes widened ever bigger than before making his almond shape look round.
He blinked a few times in disbelief. "You felt that too?" He stroked his face trying to think. "I'm so sorry Ella Mae. I was always so angry, whenever Gifford touched you or anything."
I pursed my lips. "How did you know he was touching me?"
He lowered his head. "I never stopped watching over you. I was just being cautious to keep an adequate distance for Gifford not to pick up my scent."
I couldn't help but smile. Brian noticed this, and froze. "I haven't seen your smile in so long." He stroked my face carefully with his supple fingers.
"Neither have I." I wasn't lying; I hadn't even seen it in months. He looked disappointed at what I had said.
"I d-don't know what to do" he simply said. I stared at him in bewilderment.
"What do you mean?"
He groaned. "I don't know what I should do regarding us Ella Mae. I want to be with you but I don't know how."
He put one cold supple hand on mine. "Change me." I looked up to see his expression indignant.
He removed his hand from mine and stood up. I stood up trying to follow him but he was quick. I was inside his house now, in the middle of the hall. The room in front of me was the room full of paintings of 'Mina'.
The room was the only one that was light. The colors were a light yellow, and white. There was nothing in it. There were only paintings of Mina and a table in the middle. The room was very comfortable. That was actually my favorite room in the house, other than Brian's.
"I would never do that to you" Brian whispered in my ear from behind. I turned to see him with a very stern expression.
"Why not? I'm asking you to do it." He shook his head in disbelief. His eyes were solemn.
"You will not belong to me Ella Mae. What about your mother? Dakota? Sebastian? Did you think of that?" He was turning to leave his eyes had been piercing and enraged. I placed my hand on his cold shoulder. I could feel him breathing unevenly beneath my hand.
I sighed. "Brian all I want is to be with you. What's so bad about being vampire?" My voice was low and careful.
He turned to face me. His eyes were penetrating and his expression still somber. He grabbed my hand in his, and began to walk. He was walking down the hall and for the first time we went upstairs. The upstairs was even more solitary than the downstairs.
Brian entered an open room. It faced the backyard and the whole wall facing the backyard was made of glass. It was a gigantic window. There was a table in the middle of the room and he gestured me to sit.
He sat in front of me with his hands on the table still touching mine. "Ella Mae, everybody wants to be immortal. Being immortal doesn't come free. People believe we are lucky to be what we are, but I see it as a burden. We are the worst kind of monster because we possess what everyone desires and still manage to be killers. We have to kill to live, you see?"
My hands were shaking in fear of how malevolent being vampire had begun to sound the way Brian put it.
"You are shaking. I should take you home." I grabbed his hand quickly signaling him I wasn't ready to leave yet. He assembled himself in his seat and focused on me.
I bit my lip. "Brian, I understand what you're saying. Let me explain myself." He nodded in response still keeping our hands intertwined. "I lost my dad, and it was the most terrible moment of my entire life. It was the most terrible moment until you left me. I can't lose you Brian. I can't live without you, I would lose myself."
He tightened his lips. "I understand love. I can't live without you either." The words escaped his luscious lips and my heart fluttered. "I won't do it though. I won't turn you into a monster."
My eyes narrowed instinctively. I removed my hand from his. "Brian, what do you need me to say?"
"I don't want you to say anything. I want you to understand that being human is best for you."
I rocked my head from side to side. "I want to be with you forever."
He growled. "Then I'll stay."
I shook my head furiously. "No! I want to be with you for all eternity." He was completely incensed. My anger was burning up my insides.
"Do you want to be a killer?" I stood up from my seat as he did following me. We stood face to face both of our expression infuriated.
I took a deep breath. "I'm willing to take my chances." I grabbed his beautiful face in my tiny hands and our lips met. His cold lips were less gentle this time. His anger probably took over his sense and he was kissing me as if there was no tomorrow. Our lips moved as one in perfect harmony. His taste was completely luscious. This time unlike the other, he opened his mouth and made the kiss even more passionate.
Soon enough the wonderful kiss had to end. He pulled me away, his eyes flaring with desire. "Well, I'm not."
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