Hola Motherhopers! CJzilla here shellin' out with another "Kappa Mikey" fiction! The idea for this fic ain't mine. Earthbender7KM and friends shot the concept to me and ask that I bring their ideas to life, since I apparently got mad Kappa Mikey writing skills! (CJzilla whips out samurai sword and sliced up a grilled cheese sandwich)
IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE!
So please, most honorable Kappa Mikey fans... read. (CJzilla bows honorably)
As I tower over this city, alls CJzilla has to roar is this: R&R MOTHERHOPERS. Flame, fluff, love me, hate me... don't care.
Disclaimer: CJzilla does not own anything to do with "Kappa Mikey". I do own reviews.
The LilyMu Action Team's hover jet soared through the air, the roar of its engines echoing through the city of Tokyo. Weaving through the web of tall buildings the jet slowed as four costumed crime-fighters jumped out of the aircraft. Falling to the paved jungle below the superhero team raced down an empty street.
"There's Gonard! Our scanners were right!" the blue-haired tough girl Mitsuki pointed. "He is trying to plunge Tokyo into another dimension!"
In the distance, there was a tall foreboding figure of a ray gun draining reality from the sky in the form of a black hole. And a laugh from the ray gun's owner, the evil villain Gonard.
"Run, run, run as fast as you can Lily-Flops!" Gonard jeered. "Can you stop me and my evil plan?"
More maniacal laughter from the LilyMu Team's archenemy.
"Faster team!" the LilyMu leader extraordinaire, the American Mikey Simon called out to his team. "We can't let Gonard destroy our dimension!"
"Guano Guano!" Guano the team's plushy one-line wonder replied.
The rift in reality was growing bigger and bigger.
"We'll never make it!" LilyMu sweetheart Lily cried out.
"We have to! Reality depends on it!" Mikey returned and poured on more steam.
The whole LilyMu team went into a full-on sprint, racing to save our dimension.
……. And running… and running… and runnin'.
Winded Guano tripped and fell and the rest of the LilyMu team tripped on the fuzzy purple dude, falling flat on their faces. They were rocketed off of the prop treadmill and smashed against the studio's wall.
"CUT!" Guano shouted, the plushy director being at the bottom of the pile of actors.
The sound of a bell cut through the air and the cameras stopped filming. There was a chorus of pain-laced "Ow"s and "Oooh"s from Lily, Mitsuki, Mikey and Guano who were still tangled in a heap. Gonard, out of concern, came walking over to his fellow actors/friends/co-workers.
"MY HAIR!!" Lily screeched, sitting up from sitting on Mitsuki's back.
Mitsuki groaned, her feet over her head.
"My head, neck, chest, toe, and knee," the blue-haired actress complained.
"All right!" Guano snarled angrily as he tried to wriggle out from under Mikey's armpit. "Who's the wise guy who messed with the set's treadmill?!"
"That was me," Mikey groaned out of pain as he peeling himself from under Lily and Mitsuki. "Yeah, me and Gonard didn't have a clay pigeon launcher for our spitball firing range so we cranked up the treadmill on the highest setting."
Cut to last night. Mikey Simon and Gonard were armed with malt straws and their paper scripts for ammo. Setting dinner plates on LilyMu Studio's prop treadmill and setting the machine for "maximum overdrive", the American actor and his best friend shot spitballs at the dinnerware.
Back to the here and now… Guano's eyebrow twitched in annoyance.
"I was the best spitballer!" Gonard cheered, head inflating with happy.
"You realize you just confessed to TWO bad things Mikey?" Guano held up two of his plushy fingers. "First, messing with the treadmill and second, you two just destroyed three whole sets of dishes! MY DISHES!"
Mikey and Gonard glanced at each other, before nodding and giving Guano a mischievous look. Gonard zipped up to Guano and seized him by the back of his purple, fuzzy, plushy costume.
"Catch the director!" the big actor called into the air. "GO LONG MIKEY!"
"PUT ME DOWN GONARD!" Guano snarled.
But the purple dude was put into traction.
"It's Mikey Simon in the clear!" the American actor said like a sports anchor as he went running. "And Gonard is boxed in!"
Being the lovable spaz Gonard is, he took Mikey for real.
"SAVE YOURSELF GUANO!" Gonard screamed and tossed the purple like a football.
Screaming as he was thrown like some sorry pigskin, Guano flew through the air. As the boys had a less than mature moment, the girls stood by, watching with a sweat-drop.
"Ugh," Lily scoffed rolling her eyes as Guano flew through the air. "Spazzes."
Mikey ran around the studio with Guano under his arm and Gonard chasing him. Just then Ozu and Yes Man came walking into the studio. The all-powerful producer sweat-dropped as he watched Mikey, Guano and Gonard running around. Then the American leading-man came running up to Ozu.
"Hold this!" Mikey said, dropping the purple Guano into Ozu's arms.
Blinking at Guano in his hands, Ozu didn't see Gonard until it was too late. The LilyMu producer was tackled by two-hundred-twenty pounds of Gonard. In a cloud of dust, purple fur and sneakers, the director, producer and actor went tumbling. Mikey, Lily, Yes Man and Mitsuki watched what happened.
"Fumble at the Ozu yard-line!" Gonard cheered. "That's one for the boys back home!"
The actor had the plushy director in his hand and he spiked Guano onto Ozu. Both Ozu and Guano groaned, their limbs twitching. Lily was the first to break the surprised silence with a gut busting guffaw.
"Ozu!" Yes Man cried, running to his boss's side.
Mikey walked up to Gonard, Guano and Ozu.
"Nice play! By yours truly!" Mikey beamed, giving Lily a suave wink.
The blond, temperamental actress winced and scoffed as she barfed a little.
"MIKEY SIMON!" producer Ozu hopped to his feet, an anime bandage on his head. "GONARD!"
The American actor and the Japanese actor gulped.
"How many times must I tell you?!" Ozu blasted, his head inflating with annoyance, before he poofed down to his normal size. "Throwing your fellow actor is dangerous."
"NEVER RUN WITH SISSORS!" Yes Man cried somehow holding a pair of scissors.
Gonard sweat-dropped as Mikey breathed a sigh in relief. But in his normal fashion, Ozu had just begun their rake over the coals.
"And look what you've done to my studio!!" Ozu fumed, his head inflating to the size of the room. "I can't leave you alone for five minuets!"
"PROBLEM CHILD!" Yes Man wagged his finger at the two actors.
As the girls watched the boys get chewed out and Ozu's blood pressure shoot through the air, Mitsuki turned to Lily.
"Hey Lily! It's Wednesday night!" the blue-haired actor cheered. "What do you have planned?"
Lily anime froze her eyes wide.
"Did you just say "Wednesday night"?!" the blond actress gasped.
Mitsuki sweat-dropped, her green eyes wide.
"Y-yeah," she answered poofing down to a small chibi. "What's wrong?"'
Lily smacked her forehead.
"I've got community service to do," Lily silently anime cried.
"Ooo," she tried to sound perky at her friend's predicament. "Well… at least you'll be… busy!"
Lily huffed, a shadow hanging over her pretty features.
"Yeah, well, there's one perk to my anger management classes," she groaned, then grabbed handfuls of her hair. "This wouldn't have happened if those little kids were better behaved!"
Cut to last Tuesday.
Lily was in the park with her friends when a Frisbee flew through the air and hit her in the butt. It caught Lily off guard and it made her lose her balance. Falling on her face, in a mud puddle, the actress was now filthy. To add to her embarrassment and rage, the little kids that had thrown the flying toy stomped over to her. They accused her of having a big butt. The LilyMu sweetheart jumped to her feet and began chasing the kids, screaming that she's tear off their arms, put them through a meat-grinder, make meatloaf out of their dismembered arms and make them eat it.
Back to the studio.
Mitsuki held in a laugh.
"Well, you are a little… easy to infuriate, Lily," she stated carefully.
Lily scoffed like it wasn't true.
"Excuse me?" the blond put her hands on her hips, head inflating as she pouted. "I am in complete control of my temper!"
Just then Yoshi came walking by and accidentally stepped on her boot. Lily's head inflated with fury at seeing a big black scuff on her favorite costume boots.
"Sorry Lil-" Yoshi sweat-dropped before he was grabbed by the shirt and hurled across the room by the angered actress.
The cameraman screamed and was thrown out a window. They heard several car tires lock up, more screams from Yoshi and then the sound of a vehicle pile-up. Mitsuki watched the whole ordeal with a sweat-drop hanging on her face.
"That'll teach that klutzy cameraman to step on my personage!" Lily stuck her nose in the air as she walked over to her friend.
Then the LilyMu actress caught the look on her best friend's face. Then she sweat-dropped.
"All right, maybe there's room for some improvement," Lily admitted, stressing the word "some" as her face heated with anime blush lines.
"People will warm up to you more Lily, if you just watch how mad you get," Mitsuki voiced innocently. "It works for me!"
Mitsuki's head inflated with joy as a random bird chirp sounded through the conversation. Lily scoffed.
"Yeah right," she rolled her eyes, the sound of a cougar filling the air. "You let people walk all over you. Maybe you should take some anger classes so you don't become as spineless as Guano."
Enforcing her point, Lily motioned for the purple actor/director/writer/fuzzy dude who Ozu was still standing on. Mitsuki's eyes teared up before she got annoyed.
"I can too be firm!" the blue-haired actress's eyebrow twitched in irritation.
Lily gave her a jeering smile.
"How long has it been since that little friend-ship bracelet escapade Mitsuki?" the LilyMu sweetheart inquired. "Two weeks? And you still haven't asserted yourself."
"Lily!" Mitsuki gasped, now offended.
"Maybe you should take like, a self-defense class or something," she went on. "It'll help with your… "gentle" problem."
"There's nothing wrong with being gentle!" Mitsuki returned, her head ever so slightly inflating with anger.
Lily quirked a skeptical eyebrow as she folded her arms.
"You're TOO gentle Mitsuki," the blond returned. "You let people walk all over you."
"No way! I do not-!" she began before she was cut off by Ozu.
"BLUE-HAIRED WOMAN THAT IS NEXT TO LILY!" the all-powerful LilyMu producer blasted.
Mitsuki jumped five feet in the air before looking timidly at Ozu.
"Get a mop," he glowered. "And clean up this pigsty! NOW!"
Giving a frightened yelp, Mitsuki ran to the cleaning closet as Lily's "I-told-you-so" stare heated up her back.
"Atta girl!" Lily sarcastically called after her friend. "Way to be firm!"
Lily gave a small giggle as Mitsuki frantically ran around cleaning.
Cue dancing sushi….
As everyone dissipated since everyone was done filming for the day, it was only Mitsuki left in the studio as she cleaned. On her tired feet, mop in hand and pail of warm sudsy water at her side, the blue-haired actress continued to clean. But she really wasn't too happy. What Lily had just said was still ringing in Mitsuki's ears.
"I do not need to stop being gentle," she huffed to herself. "Gentle is what makes me who I am! If I start being aggressive, I'll probably become as nasty as Lily."
Mitsuki glanced at the Yoshi-shaped hole in the window Lily had thrown the cameraman out of.
"Seriously," the blue-haired actress rinsed her scrub brush. "Lily can be as mean as a monster trashing Tokyo."
And that got a giggle out of Mitsuki visualizing a giant, scaly, fire-breathing Lily monster destroying Tokyo.
"Well, at least I have something to do tonight," she continued talking to herself, making the mice in the studio sweat-drop. "With Lily gone and the boys doing their thing, I'd be bored."
Although it'd totally geek her out, being close to Mikey as he, Gonard and Guano watched wrestling tonight, Mitsuki felt as though she'd have a better conversation with her scrub brush than trying to shyly philander with the American. Mikey would probably never see more than the front of his nose and never really figure out that Mitsuki had it bad for him. The blue-haired actress figured that someday she'd tell him how she felt, but for now, she'd admire him from afar.
Suddenly a window was busted. Hearing the glass shatter Mitsuki whipped her head around only to have a cell phone bounce off of her head. She fell on her back and her mop went sailing into the air and smacking her head as well.
"Ow!" she yelped, two whelps now on her forehead.
She took the dirty mop from her head and sat up. Mitsuki saw the cell phone on her lap. Sweat-dropping, the actress had an anime question mark pop above her head.
"Who would throw a cell phone through the window?" she asked herself.
Then the phone rang. Mitsuki looked at the caller ID, but found no name or trace of who was calling. Timidly, not wanting to be rude and not answer the phone, Mitsuki flipped open the cell phone and pressed it to her ear.
"Hello?" Mitsuki meekly choked out.
There was a silky chuckle from the other line.
"Greetings Agent M," came a voice.
Mitsuki jerked her head back in surprise. But she regained her cool.
"I'm sorry," she returned. "I think you have the wrong number."
There was an aggravated sigh from the other line.
"No, I don't Agent M!" the man returned, groaning exasperatingly. "I recognize your voice! You can't bluff your old partner."
Mitsuki gritted her teeth as she stood.
"You've really crossed the line now Agent F!" she snarled in the cell phone's receiver. "Do yourself a favor… Mail yourself and that mail box disguise to Singapore and never contact me again!"
There was a confident laugh from Agent F, over the other line.
"I don't think that will work," the spy returned. "I don't think I'll clear customs."
Mitsuki rolled her eyes as her ex-partner laughed at his own joke.
"All right, enough funny stuff!" Agent F cleared the air. "We need you back Agent M."
The blue-haired super-spy turned actress growled.
"I thought I made it clear with our last meeting, that I don't want anything to do with you or the Agency!" Mitsuki snarled.
"We have a case that only you can complete Agent M," Agent F was ignoring her rant.
Mitsuki snarled again.
"I've heard this before F!" she returned, flailing her arms in the air. "Get someone else AND LEAVE ME OUT OF IT!"
She took the cell phone from her ear and was about to smash down the "End" button.
"Once an agent always an agent, Agent M," Agent F continued. "Whether or not you choose to do this assignment isn't your decision M. You WILL come back to us."
"Never," Mitsuki hissed.
There was a jeering laugh from Agent F.
"How's life for you Agent M?" he asked.
"Oh, just fine!" Mitsuki beamed. "I've got some complaints but nothing I can't-"
"That was a rhetorical question," Agent F snarled. "My real question is: How would your life be without Mikey Simon?"
Mitsuki held in a gasp.
"Here's your options M," Agent F stated. "You either come back to us or Mikey Simon will be bound, gagged, thrown into a small, dark, box, and dropped into a volcano. You're choice Agent M. Come back to us or the man you love will be smeared… and charred up like some sorry hotdog."
Mitsuki gulped and blushed at the same time.
"I don't love Mikey!" she objected.
Agent F groaned.
"Still in denial?!" the spy blurted out as Mitsuki could hear him slap his forehead over the phone. "A blind man can see you love him!"
No argument there.
"You harm one hair on his head and I'll-!" Mitsuki shook a fist at the phone.
"You can't be everywhere Mikey Simon is Agent M," Agent F stated. "It's only a matter of time. Do yourself a favor M… come back to the Agency and I'll completely forget about Mikey Simon."
"Forget it!" Mitsuki snarled. "I'll stop you! Just like last time!"
Agent F laughed manically.
"Fine, do this the hard way Agent M," he shrugged. "Oh, and um, good luck getting any sleep now. Too bad, you look tired."
And as Mitsuki craned her head around to the nearest windows, Agent F hung up his end of the phone.
R&R. LONG LIVE ROCK!