Valentine's Day part Two: Aftermath
Author's note: Well it's no longer a one shot! I really hope you like this second part as much as y'all liked the first. Anyone willing to beta for me, I've got a longer Bella/Edward story that could use someones loving touch.
Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, Jacob's howl of pain wouldn't have ruined my favorite scene in eclipse.
Part Two: Aftermath
Edward felt almost giddy as he ran towards his home. Bella wanted the gift that he'd given her anonymously to be from him! That must mean that she liked him right? Despite being able to read the mind of every woman but Bella, Edward still had difficulty understanding them.
But she thought that he hated her. How he longed to tell her that it wasn't so. He longed to talk to her, to share his secrets with her, to take her to his meadow, to kiss her. Edward let his mind drift to a place where he could be with Bella with no threats to her or to his family's secret. Where he could be near her without battling his demonic desire to drink her life's essence dry.
His euphoria wore off as he began to dwell on just how unworthy of her love he was. He wasn't even worthy enough to be her friend. He doubted he was even worthy enough to be in her presence. He didn't want to stay away from her, he wanted to watch her, to solve the puzzle that was her mind.
He wanted to hear her laughter, to see her smile, to smell her scent, to feel the electricity that raced between them when his hands accidentally brushed her smaller ones in biology, to taste the venom that pooled in the back of his throat as the monster within him roared at him to take her. The idea of her dead and cold, chilled him, made him feel grief and sorrow like he hadn't felt ever before. The world without Bella Swan, he didn't want to think of it.
She'd ensnared him with her innocent charms succeeding where so many other women had failed to besot him in the past. Other women had been vain or shallow whereas Bella seemed refreshing, selfless and thoughtful. She seemed so caring and always seemed to go out of the way to be kind to her friends. He was trapped. He was besotted. He was in love?
The thought would have stopped him dead in his tracks, but he'd stopped running home a while ago so that he could stand in the woods alone with his own thoughts.
In love? He was an imbecile, an idiot, a fool. It was lunacy. She was a human. Innocent, sweet, beautiful, breakable Bella. He wanted to drink her blood for crying out loud! A vampire shouldn't love a human girl, shouldn't taint her with his dark desires.
Indecision ate away at his mind, he'd sworn to himself and to his family after saving her from the van, that he would stay away from her. He'd never told anyone that even if it had exposed their secret he would have done it without regret, because his mind had been screaming, "Not her!"
He had to stay away. His family demanded it, his honor demanded it, her very safety demanded it.
It was excruciating to stay away from her. He watched her constantly, at first under the pretense of making sure that she didn't tell anyone the truth about what he'd done when he'd saved her that day, and now he watched her because he couldn't look away. She always did the opposite of what he expected. Was he drawn to her because of her mystery? Because for the first time in is existence he had to puzzle out what someone was thinking rather than relying on his ability to read her very thoughts?
What was it about Bella Swan that drew him in so helplessly?
He began to run once more, unaware of deciding to do so. He was running towards her house, towards the enchantress that had him so throughly under her spell.
He climbed up to the trees, longing to be closer. She was asleep, her breathing even as she slept. How he envied her the joy of being in dreams, the joy of being away from concious thoughts.
He wanted to be closer, he opened her window and stood in her bedroom. He shouldn't do this, it was wrong. He stared at her, longing to run his fingers through her brown hair. The stuffed animal was clutched in her hands, as she shifted, murmuring, "Edward," as she did so.
Was she awake? Had he been caught? To his relief, she was still sleeping. He wasn't caught. Was she dreaming about him? Or was it another Edward that haunted her dreams.
"Edward why do you hate me?" she asked in a sleep garbled voice. Her question struck him with a sorrowful force. It hurt him to know, even though he'd already heard her say it earlier, that she thought he hated her. He didn't want her to think that he hated her. He wanted her to know that he loved her. That he worshipped her.
He made up his mind. He would stay away no longer. Tomorrow he'd walk up to her, apologize and spend time with her. He'd date her, and he'd tell her how he really felt. His secret and rules be damned he was tired of being alone.
Warm hands against his arm, startled him out of his thoughts, causing him to jump. Her voice was confused and thick with sleep, as she asked him, "Edward, what are you doing in my room?"
Her confused brown eyes met his stunned golden ones. He hadn't heard her wake up, he'd thought that he was safe, as he'd gotten lost in his plans to talk to her tomorrow and hadn't been paying the proper amount of attention to her.
"I, um, that is..." he ran suddenly nervous fingers through his bronze hair, tousling it further. What was he going to say to her.
Her brown eyes were inquisitive as she waited for him to stop garbling his explanation. Why didn't she scream? Why didn't she seem afraid by his presence in her room? Why did she seem to feel safe in his presence? Her hair was messy. She was exquisite, in baggy sweats with her hair an unruly mass of brown on the top of her head. How was he supposed to speak when she looked at him with those eyes?
Never in his existence had he been so flustered.
"I don't hate you Bella," he whispered. He leaned in closer to her, mere inches away from those beautiful eyes. The man within him yearned to kiss her, his first kiss, he just knew it would be magical. The monster within him wanted to bite her neck and make her his.
He kissed her softly, gently and briefly. The warmth and softness of her lips against his icy hard ones, the confused joy of her expression, would stay in his mind forever as one of his most cherished memories. He pulled away much to soon, shoving the monster within him deep inside. He would not ever drink the blood that pulsated through the veins of the woman staring at him with red cheeks.
"I don't understand," she said finally.
"Will you come with me? I'll explain everything," Edward asked. His mind was certain, his path was clear. He would tell her the truth about who and what he was, hopefully she wouldn't reject him. He wasn't certain if he could take it as she did.
She nodded her head, making her scent hit him even more strongly. He resisted the urge to attack her, and took her into his arms.
"Don't be afraid, I won't hurt you and I won't allow anything else to hurt you either." he said as he jumped out of the window and began to run to his meadow.
"I trust you," she whispered before she slammed her eyes shut before she made herself sick.
Edward smiled and hoped her trust was enough.