Disclaimer: Characters belong to J K Rowling.
A/N: Well, here's the epilogue. This is my first multi-chaptered fic that I have finished. Basically, I had the idea to write from this particular perspective as an epilogue first, way back when I finished reading DH last year.
20/04/2008- I've (finally) edited the Epilogue, as I hadn't done that in my hurry to complete the fic.
How It Came To Be
Epilogue- Severus Snape
It pained me to see her with the scum. The one that had everything from birth. Everything I wanted- would sacrifice myself for.
Just like his foolish friend, he had thrown away the gifts that were so precious, that were bestowed upon himself simply because he had been born.
And they are to be married.
The spectacle that was the proposal, this very morning, before we were to leave Hogwarts forever. The world which I had introduced to Lily.
To finally see his smirk thwarted in realisation of who had real dominion and power.
So long as I do not allow him to discover my one weakness, I know my loyalty will be rewarded.
I have done all I can to ensure Li… her safety.
I risked my very existence, though pitiable in comparison to what he could- did- provide, for her.
And her family.
If only she had listened to me.
If only she had seen which side had more power - could promise more, could provide more.
If only she hadn't been so foolish in marrying Potter.
If only she was mine, I could have kept her safe.
Could she not see I loved her first, knew her better than anyone else?
With me, she could be great. She would have been an asset, with her skill in potions and charms.
But now they are in hiding.
I hope that fool- the great Dumbledore- can keep them safe. I would kill him if he doesn't keep his word.
I should not- cannot – think of her again.
I cannot show the Dark Lord my shameful weakness. He has already humiliated my love for L… once.
However, sitting in this pit which once inspired a happy future with Her, I know that I could never give her what she deserved materially. A dinghy, cramped home which had remained the same for over a decade. Much like my feelings…
It has been little over a year since I last saw her. The last day of assumed innocence, although many amongst us despised all that was innocent, and had paraded ideals that would lead to a glorious gratification- to power.
As lonely as I am now, as cold as the bed is next to me, I glory in the knowledge that the Dark Lord trusts me the most. I, who am like him in circumstance than even Malfoy, the self-righteous, pretentious, simpering, self-loving fool.
I cannot believe it.
She is dead.
The only one that had touched my heart.
I can imagine the fear in her emerald eyes as she faced him.
The Dark Lord promised me he would not touch him.
How could I have ever thought him so great in comparison to her.
And yet, her son lives.
I somehow have allowed myself to place my alliance in the boy, who by all accounts, is a mirror image of the man that took my Lily away. Protect the spawn of the one who took my Lily from me.
Foolishly, I have learnt the hard way that no one can be trusted, and the only person that can be trusted is yourself- the worst judge in the world.
To think that the Potters' trusted Black. The man that had claimed to be loyal to the very end.
Blood will always be thicker, more attractive, more alluring, then any friendship.
Seeing the boy at the feast, an innocent first year, brought back the bitter memories I had so successfully suppressed for almost a decade.
He was the one my allegiance was tied to, as Dumbledore and I were convinced that the Dark Lord was not truly gone, and would return to destroy the one that unknowingly defied Him.
At first, I saw Potter, the arrogant, spoilt schoolboy, who had tormented my life at school, both intentionally and unintentionally.
Then the eyes.
But they were on his face.
I am determined not to treat him with any affection- like I had for his mother- but I would keep my promise to Dumbledore, who saw me, and knew me, as I am.
A selfish man who suffered... still suffers... from a chronic case of unrequited love.
A/N: I know it is a bit rushed- uni has just begun and I just had to finish this, otherwise I knew I never would. Please drop a line (ie leave a review), as this is my first published multi-chapter fic. I'm not sure if I'll write another James/Lily story in a long while (as I have another story in the works for a Jane Austen novel).