He saw raindrops running down the window. They sat in the dinner. Neil wasn't really on the ball, instead he was thinking about a survival plan for the possibility his Dad might come back next days. Okay, there wasn't any evidence that he would do so. After his wife has died in his arms, he had changed what made Neil a bit anxious. He hadn't heard from him since weeks. Sometimes he asked himself, if his Dad was okay, maybe he should have gone with him, and maybe he should have tried harder to hinder him from telling his mum about the seeker, it might have prevent an ending like that. His Dad was the reason why he had come home. After he had finished his second semester at Harvard University he got a call from Kurt who asked him to come back, because his father was freaking out again. Now here he was and his Dad somewhere in Arizona. He hadn't been able to change his father's mind.
"Hey earth to Neil!" Sarah dragged him out of his thoughts.
"Yeah?" okay, he hasn't listen to what Kurt was telling them and yes, again he wished he had, because when he looked at Kurt he was glad that glances couldn't kill.
"What was that important that you missed my wonderful lecture about the development of new sentients which could be able to destroy the world?" Neil could hear thatKurt lost patience with him.
"Nothing, I'm sorry." he answered with a subdued voice.
"Neil, we don't have much time, you know that and despite this, Angela still is missing and your Dad is on a holyday trip, so could you please pull yourself together?" Kurt asked sarcastically.
This was the last straw. "Okay Kurt, if you think this whole situation is easy for me, you thought wrong, I have as well problems to deal with it as anyone else. Despite, I don't think that I would consider my Dad's situation as holiday trip and I just would like to remind you that there is a lot other fucking shit I have to concern about despite the lives of 6 billion people I give a shit about in the moment." he spoke these words, hard and cold into Kurt's face, stood up and wanted to go. Again he felt the huge weight of the burden his Mum left with her death. Holding everything upright alone wasn't that easy, as well as all his attempts to bring his father back to normal or the thing with Marc. After he went to Harvard everything become more complicated as it had been before, because now he wasn't home everyday to watch his Dad or to help him, what gave him a bad feeling, but he had decided that his life couldn't only turn round his Dad's. If he thought honestly he had to live two lives, one in Harvard and one in Texas, both meant a lot of hard work, and both took everything from him, everyday. When he was in Harvard he had to take charge that here everything was going its normal ways and when he was here, he had to work for his studies. Sometimes he only felt, as if he was running out and today was one of those days.
Sarah held him back; although she had enough problems on her own she tried to help him. Sometimes Neil felt miserable when he thought about what hell Sarah had to go through and the fact the he wasn't even able to cope with his own life, while Sarah even had the strength to help others. He just was weak and he wasn't more than a child, he was sure about that now.
"Can't we help you in somehow?" she asked him.
"No, thanks, but it's something between my Dad and me." he took his jacket and went out the door. Kurt and Sarah were following him.
"You know that it could last sometime until Chuck comes back, so you have to put up with us." there was no trade of charge, as it had been a few minutes before.
"No." Neil didn't want to talk to someone else about family problems. He was fed up enough with the thought that he has to tell his Dad, as soon as possible.
"Just give us a few words?" Sarah encouraged him.
Neil knew, about her curiosity, must me something like an occupational disease.
"It's a potential motive of murder." he answered short. He was sure that they didn't know what to do with it, but he hadn't count on Sarah.
"Marc?" she asked carefully.
Neil was shocked, when she spoke this name aloud. How did she know about it? He had no answer for this, no idea how he could come out of this catch. Kurt looked with an Is-It-True glance at him. It seemed as if hours passed, until he found his speech again and another hour to think about what he can answer.
"Neil?" Kurt asked him keeping on.
"Yeah, Sarah is right. Satisfied?" There was no reason to lie, he wasn't good at it, and so he better omitted an attempt to do so. Yes, he was pissed off and he was sure, that the other two were able to see it. He wasn't pissed off that Sarah had looked through him. He was pissed of because he had allowed her to do so.
"Okay sounds as if we go for a drink to mine and remember, I know were you live, you'd better don't even try to drive away." Kurt tried to threaten him. Neil hated it, when he developed taste for something, especially when it was about Neil himself.
He sat on Kurt's sofa, not really in the mood for talking. Kurt offered him a drink, but he rejected.
"What's about your brother?" Kurt began. Neil still was thinking about a way to by-pass this topic. Then he looked at Sarah and realized that she would figure out if he lied. He had to admit defeated, if he wanted to or not.
"Okay I have evidence to think that he had something crooked running, before he went off." he hoped that would be enough information. On the other hand, how could he be naïve like a child and think he could feed them up with one sentence?
"And what do you mean with something crooked?" Sarah went on with the interrogation.
"I don't know." Honestly, that was only the half of the truth. He could think about, what the things he had found could mean, but he didn't give this thought space to develop. In somehow, he was afraid that this thought could become true.
"Don't you know or don't you want to tell us?" Sarah again asked, but carefully.
"I really don't know." he just wanted this situation to come to an end. He didn't like such situations, when someone tried to talk with him about family. They were just not supposed to know about it, nobody.
"Then you can tell us, what gives you evidence to think so." Kurt began to become inpatient.
"Don't you think that you go too far sometimes?" Neil asked him in a harsh voice. It wasn't Kurt's business to judge about his brother or him, and Neil didn't want to give him any reason to do so.