Alright, guys – I promised myself a series of 100 facts. This is the conclusion, then. I'm sorry – it's been an awesome time! TT I'm not dying, though – you will see more Inkheart humor from me, I feel certain! :D So stick with me. And dig this last chapter, folks – I must say, I've outdone myself. I give a lot of my reviewers shout-outs in here, just because you're all so awesome. Thanks for your help and ideas! :D
76. THE ULTIMATE FANGIRL XD should throw a party for the Inkheart characters. Seriously, have you read her reviews? I would totally go to one of her parties. And I have no idea who she is. Just to give you an idea, here's some pieces of her first review: "have you heard piece of me by britany spears (this was like bak when she was cool)i can imagine roxane singing that on stage and me barging in,kikin her off,and yelling F OFF HORE!!and the audience(including dusty) screamin OH YEA!! like the kool-aid pitcher... and then farid shooting her and orpheus with a machine gun and saying THATS RIGHT BITCHES!and then cartoon heroes will play and there'll be like a dance party thing with beer and porn fliks."
Don't worry, she assured me that she's drug-free.
77. I confess, I owe this one to Someone (a reviewer) – Michael Jackson should be the Piper. Hellz yeah. He sings and he has an artificial nose. How did we not all think of this sooner?
78. There were two 56 and 57 pairs in the last chapter. You got two extra facts – how cool is that? Well, okay, maybe you just got one, because I totally just wasted this one. Should I throw in a fact? I might as well. How about… Farid is a waste of space?
79. It occurred to me the other day that Meggie really never had any hobbies but hanging out and reading with her dad. That's kind of depressing. But then, suddenly, she has all these incredibly well-developed social skills. WTF?
80. It's oddly convenient that Fenoglio was still alive and writing in the same country nearby when Meggie and Mo needed him to sort out all the Inkheart business. Seriously, what are the odds of that? Let me tell you: LIKE ONE IN A ZILLION. ON A GOOD DAY.
81. Everybody in the Inkworld has nicknames. And we know that they don't just have super-weird real names, because the Adder tells Firefox to write his REAL name in the book of death, not just the nickname they gave him. Is it like a law that EVERYBODY has to have nicknames? Because they totally do.
82. Roxane never got a nickname, though. That's kinda bizarre. It's like, when you're introducing them: "This is Cloud Dancer, Dustfinger, Silvertongue, Inkweaver, and we call her Roxane." It's kind of like Jean Grey in the X-Men.
83. Brianna needs one too! I suggest IllegalSexChild. It has a ring to it, and nobody would ever wonder whose nickname it was. That sounds like my friend's AIM screen name, though, come to think of it…
84. How common is the ability to read stuff into new worlds, anyway? Because theoretically, if Basta was able to find Orpheus so easily, that must mean it's at least a 1/100 shot. I mean, I love Basta (as we all know) but he's not the sharpest tool in the shed. But seriously – if the 'gift' is that common, there should be a whole lot more evidence of it out there… like more faeries and shit.
85. How do you find somebody like that anyway – place an ad in the paper? "Hello, I need a reader who is capable of accessing a parallel universe… preferably one who works by the hour…"
86. My friend has this theory that Fenoglio is a pedophile. It's actually pretty viable when you give it some thought. He all goes up to the fire and says "Come, children, I have a story to tell you, gather
around…" and then Meggie has to stay with him in his little room. Can't you just see him going "Hey baby, there's plenty of room up here…" :O
87. Why did Dustfinger stay with all the losers in Capricornville all the time, anyway? Seems like every other flashback, we hear about him hanging around and being emo and angsty and talking to people in the village. Why didn't he like get the hell out of there right off the bat?
88. Hmmm. Capricornville. I like it. For some reason, it makes me think of that weird movie "Children of the Corn," from the SciFi channel back in the day. And you know, Capricorn's town never really had a name, specifically. Starting now, we're going with Capricornville.
89. Evidently Dustfinger "saved Resa's life" and all, but then Basta and the others found him and beat the crap out of him. Did he not have the sense to take her FAR AWAY from Capricornville? I just have these mental images of one of the black-jackets rounding a corner and finding Dusty and Resa hiding behind a bush. Sheesh, man. This isn't hide and freakin' go seek.
90. What exactly happens if Fenoglio just stops describing stuff past Ombra and Argenta? Is it just endless ocean or something? I mean, think about it. It can't just end, brick-wall, right there. Maybe they use those fake-looking horizons like in N64 games. Remember the trees in Legend of Zelda? Cheesiest thing ever.
91. Somebody just EXPLAIN the art on the cover of Inkheart, please. I see the marten, and the gold makes some sense too, but whose hand? It's like the friggin' Addams family with the little crawly disembodied hand that lives in the box. And moreover, what's with the lizard?
92. For that matter, whose snake on Inkspell? The only snakes in that book were the little crests on all the Adder's stuff. Personally, it makes me think of Indiana Jones. Harrison Ford should be somebody in my movie… he'd make a super-badass Adderhead. Oh yeah.
93. Cosimo just dies – too freaking much. He's dead to start off with. And they bring him back. And then he dies again. Is he like suicidal-emo? Because he doesn't give me the emo-vibe. But who knows. Either way, they need to get some kind of warranty going on this fool.
94. Elinor has about fifty million books, but we never see her read them. Note also that she goes out of her way to purchase the special edition ones with pretty pictures. I bet she can't read at all – illiterate poser! She just keeps them around to make her seem smart.
95. Dustfinger is evidently kinda lanky and so-so strong, right? This being the case, explain the scene in which he ties Basta up and leaves him in the abandoned house. Dusty had to carry him into the house (as was stated in the book) and Basta's gotta be a pretty hardcore guy to make a good assassin, so WTF? I would have selected a word more akin to "dragged" than "carried."
96. This is Duckweed's (a reviewer) and it's an excellent point: How on earth does a MUTE woman teach an ILLITERATE man how to read? It's not like she can write him instructions. That's a catch-22 right there. He has to know how to read in order to be able to learn how to read.
97. It just occurred to me to wonder if there is something like tobacco in the Inkworld. Random, I'm aware, but the fire-raisers just seem like the smoker-type to me. Super-slick, badass, you get it. If they just showed up in the real world and found it, it had to have been some kind of new, hella-cool thing.
98. There's some kind of bizarre irony in the fact that Roxie's first husband spoke to fire and her second husband was killed by it. It's just way too coincidental. Dusty HAD to have had something to do with Jehan's death. But how? Can he speak to fire over long-distance, like email or something? Or is that a retarded question to begin with? Haha – receives an email from Dusty: "Please comsume my cheating wife's new man in a very gory show of ashes and soot. Thanks muchly."
99. If Fenoglio is so into Roxane, why doesn't he just REWRITE the story so that she makes passionate love to the illustrious Inkweaver? I mean, don't get me wrong, it's totally gross and I'm glad he didn't, but it seems like the kind of think that creepy perv would do.
100. The whole peppermint leaf thing evidently began with Basta when some girl refused to kiss him. Of course, her excuse was his breath, but if she had been that into him do you think that something like his breath honestly would have stopped her? That's a great girl-excuse: "I don't want to kiss you. You have bad breath. It's not because you're a criminal or a sex-addict or anything else." She should have just told him that she didn't want to kiss him. But I wouldn't have been that mean either, I would have gone the easier route and just made him think that he had bad breath for the rest of his life too.