Updated A/N: For the sake of all those who reviewed/favorited while this story was being written, I tried to keep the diction and the narrative as close to the original as possible, while revising what I needed to for enhanced readability. I corrected spacing issues, bolded Risa and Satoshi's names when a change in narrative occurred, corrected grammatical errors, which were cringingly abundant, and reworded awkward sentences. I also changed the tense to past, since in my mediocrity I jumped from present to past with no knowledge of the confusion I was creating. Lastly, I took out most of the lyrics from the song I put in Satoshi's part of the chapter, since it was largely unneeded. I hope it reads better for you guys as a result.
Chapter 1: Hurting
I stared at him from the opposite side of the classroom. He never seemed to notice. During class he always used to sit straight in his desk, scribbling things in his little black book. But that was when Dark was still around.
I always wondered what he wrote. Top secret plans to capture the elusive Dark, most likely.
Satoshi Hikari was slouched back in his seat, staring at the window. He wasn't even paying attention to the teacher. He was more withdrawn than he'd ever been before. I wondered what he was thinking about.
Now that Dark had been sealed along with his other half (I think his name was Krad), Satoshi hasn't quite been himself. It was like a part of him died the day Dark and Krad left his life forever.
I guess he finally realized he had nothing to live for anymore.
I wanted to go over to his desk and say, "Hi," but something kept me from approaching him. A stinging pain in my chest made me grunt. I clenched the aching part, hoping it would help alleviate the pain. But it wasn't going away. Lately I felt a strong pain in me. I wasn't sure what it was yet, but whenever I thought of Satoshi, it came back. A mixture of anxiety and fear... maybe even heartbreak.
But why should I be heartbroken? It wasn't like he ever hurt me.
"Don't lie to yourself, Risa. He hurts you every day."
No, he didn't. He never hurt me.
"But he does, and you can't deny it. He may not do it on purpose...but he's the reason. He's always been the reason."
Two hours later, I was at home, sitting on my bed. That pain hit me again. I resisted the urge to cry. It had been like this for a while now. This pain inside.
Why did I feel this pain inside? Like my heart was breaking?
Laughter erupted from downstairs. I could hear it echo through the walls of my room.
Daisuke and Riku. The happy couple I was so envious of. I wanted to hurl every time I heard them laugh or saw them smile. I couldn't stand their happiness.
"It's because you're not happy, Risa."
No; I was perfectly fine. I'd just get jealous sometimes!
"Are you sure?"
I tried not to think of him. Or that hurt I felt whenever I did. I shook my head and fought with my own emotions. I placed a hand to my forehead and rocked back and forth. "Don't cry..." I whispered as my voice started to break. "Don't cry."
I could feel my body betraying me. My face felt hot I felt it well up, rimming in my eyes, just waiting to spill over. I couldn't fight my own despair, and I realized that when I felt a stream down my cheek.
Damn it! Why couldn't I just hold it in?
Footsteps creaked on the stairs, advancing towards my room. Panic swept through me. Whoever it could be—Daisuke or Riku—they couldn't see me like this!
I wiped my face to lessen my blurry vision. Then I grabbed the nearest form of protection—a blanket. The only thing I felt could truly conceal me from everything until I want to come out. Pulling it over my head, I sat still and quiet and tried to ignore my beating heart. Sometimes not even that worked. A certain nosy Riku would still pull back the covers and ask me what was wrong when it clearly wasn't her business.
The door opened and closed. My stomach dropped. Don't look at me. Don't look at me, I pleaded.
Slender fingers wrapped themselves around the covers, attempting to reveal my red, blotchy face. I grabbed the hand subconsciously, saying without a word that I wanted to be left alone. The hand stilled from the sudden contact and pulled free from my grip.
"Jeez, Risa! Don't scare me like that!"
"Leave me alone, Riku."
She paused. "Something's wrong, isn't it?"
"Who asked you? Go away!"
A few moments of silence passed. All I heard was the ticking of the clock that sat on the table by my bedside.
"Show me your face."
It was foolish not to answer, because whenever I didn't answer a question, it only confirmed the fact. She knew that.
"Risa—" she reached for the covers again.
"I said leave me alone!" I emerged from my blanket with the distressed face she prepared herself to see. "Get out!"
My shouts echoed through the walls of my room and traveled downstairs, probably startling Daisuke. I knew he must have heard me, because Riku shot me an incredulous look and glimpsed at the door and back to me.
"What the heck's your problem?" she whispered hastily, "Daisuke's going to think—"
"I don't care what Daisuke thinks." I interrupted. "I wanted you to leave me alone, but of course you had to be nosy and try and pull off the blanket. You saw what you wanted to see. Now get out of my sight."
Again, that same incredulity. The kind of look that asked me, "What happened to Risa? Who are you?"
When I expected her to say something, she solemnly walked out the door instead, with only her lonely footsteps giving her company.
After she left I thought: what was wrong with me?
"I don't understand, Dark." I whispered into the darkness. Look at me, awake at two in the morning and talking to myself. This had been happening for a while. Talking to myself, imagining someone was there. This was the consequence of being alone for the majority of my life. This was the proof that humans aren't meant to be alone. Excluding the Hikari family.
The angel from my nightmare
Despite the fact that I was alone, I still saw the Phantom Thief sitting near my open window. I'd been having rather peculiar conversations with him lately. It only happened at night, when I was alone in my room. I must have been going crazy. But I guess it was what you'd expect of someone who just realized his only reason for living just sealed himself along with his evil twin, leaving him purposeless. They wouldn't come out until long after I was dead, of course. But if he was sealed, then why did I keep seeing him? If there was an explanation for it, I certainly hadn't found it yet.
"You know exactly what I mean. You just don't want to admit it to yourself."
"I don't know what you mean. No one's waiting for me."
"Yes she is. She's waiting. But you have to hurry." Dark's black wings expanded, shaking off loose feathers as he prepared to take flight. The discarded plumes wafted around me and into the wind, carrying Dark with them. I shouted out the window for him to come back. At the time I didn't consider the possibility that someone could have heard me, that I'd only embarrass myself if I yelled out the window like that. Answers were the only thing that mattered to me.
"Time's running out..." was the last thing he said as he disappeared into the night, leaving me questioning myself. Questioning what I hoped was a surreal dream.
The next morning, the sky was too bright to bear. The orange rays of the sun seeped through the window blinds and rested on my tired figure. Despite my low blood pressure, I woke up earlier than normal. My thoughts were too jumbled, my mind too excited. It was quite a trying task to get myself to rest at all last night – much less stay asleep.
A black feather rested on my pillow.
But it couldn't be. It wasn't real.