Chapter 10: Confusing
Bold: Scene Change
Bold Italic: O'Malley talking
Disclaimer: I do not own Rooster Teeth productions or any of its characters.
Inside Caboose's Mind... Michael's POV
Caboose's struggled to suppress the bubble of excitement that was rising in his chest over the Real Church's arrival in his internal world. He wanted to be serious and show the blue Leader that he wasn't the idiot he always thought he was. But more importantly, it was hard to tell how much Leonard had discovered about - as O'Malley like to call it - 'their little secret.' It was probably best to remain vague and reserved should Church start asking questions. After the initial introduction, Caboose remained silent and allowed Tex to explain how they had managed to get inside his mind from the real world. An explanation he didn't really need but decided to go along for their sakes. With any luck, the real Tex and Church would get rid of O'Malley without knowing the more intimate details.
"I see. So you're from the outside. That's where the 'other' is from as well," Caboose murmured quietly. Too quietly for Church's liking. Almost as though he didn't trust his voice to... But then the thought vanished when Church realized what he just said.
"The other... wait, you mean O'Malley? Have you seen him?" Church asked, eager to confront the bastard who had dared lay his hands on the younger spartan. Horrified, the self-procliamed captain instantly regretted his words when caboose visibly flinched at the name of his 'torturer.' But, before he could apologize, a light-blue armoured blur knocked him off balance and it ran past him to stand in the way of Caboose protectively.
"Of course he's seen him you idiot! You think Mister Caboose would miss something like that you skeezy douchebag fuck?" said the blur in a high-pitched angry voice, who was quite clearly a man now that he was standing still. Unbeknown to either Church or Tex, 'mental Church' had been incredibly reluctant to let him leave the base until Caboose had allowed him to come along as well on the condition that he would stay out of sight and remain silent. So much for that plan.
"I-" Caboose began, in an attempt to explain the rude intrusion in front of him.
"Hold on a second. Who the hell are you?" Church interrupted, his eyes fixed on the new-comer in irritation.
"My name is Church, buttwiping assmunch." the mental image of himself snapped back, making the real Leonard Church blink and turn to Tex.
"This guy's kind of an asshole," he said to her.
"Yeah, we've met," she agreed with a slight smile at the memory.
"And I'm Caboose's best friend, so don't get any ideas about kissing up you limp licking fuck sock!" Mental Church continued to rant as he squared up against the real Church threateningly.
"Okay. There's a lot of stuff in that sentence, that I didn't like," the self-proclaimed captain growled back and narrowed his eyes beneath his visor.
"Just play along, Church. We're gonna need these guys if we're gonna find O'Malley," Tex whispered giving him a warning glance before he did something stupid. Like fight himself.
"I'm gonna go look for girls," the forgotten mental image of Tucker said cheerfully and ran off in the opposite direction.
"Fine, whatever," Church sighed. These idiots were more exhausting than there real-life counterparts.
"If you want to find O'Malley, I suggest we talk to the reds first. He tried to recruit them against me early on," Caboose tried to keep his voice neutral when he spoke. Especially, when he said 'O'Malley.' He wasn't sure if his act was very convincing as 'fake Church look over to him with his head cocked in concern.
"The reds... the reds are in here?" The real Church's ignorant question made him sigh in relief. Perhaps, he could pretend to smile just a little bit long after all.
INSIDE CABOOSE'S MIND, REAL Church's POV
If Caboose thought he was fooling anyone with that 'cute I'll-just-keep-smiling-even-though-i'm-dying-inside act, then he was probably more delusional in here then he was in real life. However, given what he'd seen of this place already, that seemed a fair assumption. It was so friggin' obvious! As if the bruise across his face wasn't enough, then the way he was speaking to them was practically screaming 'Emotional Wreck.' Church wanted so badly to grab and shake him and then just hold him in his arms and let him cry all the pain away. But Tex had made him promise before they went in, not to cause more trauma to the boy's already fragile instability.
So now here they were. Standing on another elevated slab of rock in a place that looked absolutely nothing like blood gulch at all, with an alternate version of himself constantly glaring at him whilst at the same time, trying to stand between him and Caboose.
"Why the hell did they pair me up with you?" Leonard finally asked out of annoyance of being shielded away from the rookie he was here to save.
"I want to keep my eye on you! I don't trust gigantic turds to try and steal my best friend you rimjob!" His high-pitched counterpart huffed in reply, and gave him a shove backwards to empathize his point. Church clenched both his fist and his teeth before answering sarcastically: "Well... This is going to be a great trip..."
Mental Church ignored him and looked down to the rocky valley below. Cupping his hands around his mouth, the light-blue spartan drew in a deep breath. "Attention reds! The great Caboose demands an audience with you! So listen up ya blowjobbing cocksuckers!" he shouted so loud in that shrill voice of his, that the real church could of sworn his ear was bleeding.
To his surprise, Church spotted movement down in the canyon and watched amazement as the Red Team actually responded to his fake counterpart's demands and appeared from behind the stony pillars of the rocky maze below.
"Caboose? Oh, no, he's come to kill us!" A maroon armoured figure with a voice just as annoying as 'fake Church' walked forwards from his hiding place.
"Will someone please help me, I don't wanna die," moaned one dressed in bright yellow armour.
"I love Caboose, and yet I'm still afraid of him," A pink-armoured person Church instantly recognized as the Red Team's new recruit Donut popped out of the rock he was hiding behind. Unfortunately, this version of donut was just as weird as everyone else in this damn place, as 'he' spoke in a cute little girl's voice. 'Oh my God, it's worse than I thought. O'Malley must have really, really messed with his head,' Church thought to himself as he slapped his forehead with his hand; earning him a nudge from Tex.
"Play it cool," she hissed almost inaudibly. Church was about to nod when-
"Arrrr! ... I be havin' a southern accent, yor'll!" Upon hearing this, the self-proclaimed captain groaned under his breath, not bringing himself to look at the Mental Sergeant of the Red Team gathered beneath them.
"He's so scary," Female Donut squeaked excitedly. Beside him, Church felt Caboose stir and move forwards to address the fake Red Team.
"Fear not reds, I come here not to destroy. But instead to ask for your assistance on this day," the younger Spartan declared confidently to his awe-struck crowd. Shaking his head in disbelief, Church temporarily forgot his reason for coming here in the first place and moved forwards as well to intercept this- this atrocity playing out before him. 'No way am I gonna let this insanity go on. Jesus, O'Malley really drove Caboose over the edge if this is what he truly sees real life as. I've got to put a stop to this and snap that Rookie out of this some how. I can't let that sonovabitch A.I. manipulate him like this.' Church thought to himself before interrupting the mental image of his 'best friend.'
"Okay whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. I gotta correct a couple things I'm hearin' here. First of all you?" Church rounded on the 'Fake Church' as he said it. "You're not Caboose's best friend, okay? You don't have a best friend. You know why? You don't need one! You're Church! Knowing other people just waters down the experience. Live the dream buddy!" He exclaimed desperately.
"Shove it, dicksniffer!" His counterpart snapped back irritably. Church ignored him and continued his rant.
"And Caboose? Come on dude, seriously? Have you paid attention to our enemies for one second?" He asked imploringly.
"I beg your pardon?" Without his helmet on, Caboose quite clearly blinked and frowned.
"First of all, that guy?" Church pointed down towards the 'fake Grif.' "He's not yellow. He's orange. And since when is there a girl on the red team?"
"My favorite thing is pretty dresses," Fake female Donut giggled in oblivious delight at also being pointed out by this newcomer.
"Arrr, I got termites in me leg," Fake Sarge burst out, feeling slightly left out.
"And that is not a southern accent," Church grounded out in response.
"Arrr..." The 'Mental Red Sergeant' said dejectedly.
"Do you have any tampons?" The 'Mental Pink-armoured Soldier' inquired.
"Seriously what is the matter with you people?" Church yelled, as his anger re-emerged over his common sense.
"Calm down, Church," Tex stepped in, placing a restraining, and also, warning hand on her ex-boyfriend's shoulder.
"Don't kill us mister sidekick," the orange one moaned in a terrified voice that made Church wince at how pathetic he sounded. Fortunately, he was spared the agony of answering when his fake counterpart pushed him furiously out of the way and stood in front of him to better shout at 'Fake Grif'.
"Hey buttbrunch! I'm Caboose's sidekick, not him! So shut your piehole!" He shrieked; completely pissed off over being disregarded in favor of this 'impostor'. All of a sudden, a shot rang out, causing Church to jump back in alarm and checked himself for injury out of self-preservation. With a sigh of relief, Church had enough time to look up and watch his now bleeding counterpart fall off the 'cliff' they were on. Horrified, the self-proclaimed blue leader, moved closer to the edge and peered down. To his surprise, 'fake Church,' although bleeding heavily from the bullet-punctured hole in his chest-plate, was actually trying to stand back up. And succeeding.
"Leonard, are you okay?" Church asked, unsure whether or not he was truly inquiring over the well-being of another or himself. With one last shove, 'Mental Church' was now standing upright and turned to glare up at his counterpart.
"Oh please, that fudgefinger couldn't hit me," he sneered cockily, before grasping the wound over his chest in a moment of pain. "No wait, I'm gonna die. Hergh! Blow me." He cursed one final time before, spewing what was probably blood into his helmet, and collapsing on the floor, where this time, he did not move from.
"There he is!" Tex's voice pulled Church's attention away from his dead 'fake self,' long enough to look where Tex was gesturing to. Hiding behind a pillar; all the way on the other side of 'fake Blood Gulch,' and clutching a sniper Rifle to his eye was the one person who could now make his blood boil with unbridled hatred.
O'Malley had at last made his presence known.
"Muhahahaha!" The A.I's trademark laughter echoed around the canyon, instilling a desire for revenge in the hearts of Tex and Church, against the program that had done them a thousand person wrongs. Neither one of the noticed, the tremour of fearful agony that shook Caboose's still frail frame. The young Spartan's blue eyes widen like a kicked puppy's when he stared across the way at the creature that had brutalized him for the last month. Although, O'Malley's visor was down, Caboose still felt that those inhuman red eyes were no doubt trained upon him, and him alone.
"Let's go get him," Tex hissed, a feral grin spread over her face.
"Alright, come on Caboose, let's go," Church said eager to end this once and for all. Caboose backed away slightly, terrified at the prospect of facing O'Malley again. 'No. I won't go back their, even with Tex and Church with me, I just can't face him,' the blue private thought, upset by his own weakness. Glancing over, the edge of the cliff at his dead 'best friend,' and aware that Church was watching him, an idea suddenly hit him.
"I am sorry, have we met?" Caboose cocked his head to the side in an effort to look confused. 'Maybe if Church believes that with his 'Mental Self' gone, I will have forgotten about him, then he might just stop pressuring me to go with him to fight O'Malley.'
"What? It's me, Church," the self-proclaimed leader said, frowning at this new turn of events.
"I don't seem to have any memory of you. My name is Michael J. Caboose. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance," Caboose stuck out his hand with a polite smile, as though he was truly meeting someone for the first time. 'I'm Sorry Church,' he said mentally.
"Oh you gotta be freaking kidding me," Church exclaimed, having falling for Caboose's ploy hook, line and sinker. "I just hope Tucker's doing a better job out there gettin' the reds to turn off their radios." Huffing in annoyance, the older Spartan ran past Caboose to follow the path of his ex-girlfriend in her pursuit of the A.I, leaving Caboose standing on the cliff to watch his progress with a hopeful smile.
"Good Luck Church," he said in a voice that only the 'Fake Red Team' below could here.
Authoress' Note: For those of you who checked my profile, I'm sorry I didn't upload this chapter on the 31st of January like I said I would. Hope you enjoy this latest Chapter. Plz review! And check out my Poll too. Chapter 11, will be up march to April and could well be my final chapter. I haven't decided yet if I want to shorten Chapter 11 and make a Chapter 12. We'll see.
Anyways. Stay tuned for Chapter 11, where the confrontation we've all being waiting for comes to life: O'MALLEY VS. CHURCH AND TEX!