Title: Fallen Angel
Author: dani meows
Author's Notes: Angsty... I need to write some purifying fluff next.
Disclaimer: I do not own, and I make no money off of this little piece of writing.
Thanks to: LilythxCullen for the beta job, and to everyone who's reviewed or added this story to their favorites pages!
Fallen Angel: Chapter Two: Awakenings
Bella opened her eyes and stared at everything. She didn't make a sound as she observed the people looking at her, and the way everything seemed vivid, brighter than ever before. It was like the world had always been dim before, but now her eyes could see everything clearer, with more focus than ever before.
The faces looking at her with concerned, curious expressions looked familiar; did she know them from somewhere?
"Bella?" the girl with short inky black hair asked in an excited tone. She knew that face. Alice, it was Alice. She began to remember things now as Alice launched herself full force at her friend, shoving her back down onto the mattress.
Bella and Alice hugged for a long time as Alice explained what had happened in a fast voice. The painful memories that her mind had suppressed came rushing back, almost too much pain at once for her mind to handle. Bella began to cry, dry sobs racking her frame as she clung to Alice.
Edward flinched at the sound of Bella's pain and couldn't bare to watch her like that any longer; unable to take her pain, he fled the room like the hounds of hell were nipping at his heels.
Alice continued to whisper soothing words and rubbed her friend's back as months of sorrow made its way out of her system. She knew that Bella would be fine.
'Edward! Get back here!' she screamed out in her head, 'she thinks you hate her!' Silence was the only response, and he didn't come back. Jasper was trying to calm Bella's raging emotions, but he was being assaulted by to many emotions at once to control the tempest of them. He was also of the belief that she really needed to work this out… without his input. She'd suppressed her emotions for so long, that if she didn't release them all now, she'd never heal.
Rubbing his new sister's back, feeling a certain amount of delight that he could touch and get close to the girl he'd regarded as a little sister without hurting her, he told them he'd be back in a little while.
He had a brother to hunt down and knock some sense into. After living with someone for so long, it was easy to find them, even when they were running. After a while, it became even easier for Jasper to hunt down Edward because he could feel the guilt, pain, doubt and love that he was radiating. As he got closer, still screaming in his head for his brother to stop, he could hear his dry sobs as he ran through the woods.
Like most conversations with Edward, it was a conversation that was half mental. When Edward was upset, he didn't wait for you to voice what you wanted to say, but would just pull it from your thoughts.
She thinks you hate her you know.
"I don't know what to do," Edward said, looking at him.
She just needs to get months worth of suppressed emotion out of her systemShe was purging all that she'd felt,because she kept it locked up inside in order to keep herself from breaking all the way down. When it comes to emotion, trust me-- I know. I'm not saying it will be easy, she will probably have trust issues and need reassurance of your love for a while… but if you don't come back now, you will likely not have another to chance to earn her forgivenessYou still have her love now but it could soon turn to hate.
Edward said nothing, but Jasper could feel some of the pain that he'd been radiating into to determination.
Don't stay lost in your thoughts too long, brother.
Jasper turned back to leave for the house once more; he didn't want to take the chance that Bella needed him to calm the storm, in case he was wrong, and it did turn to madness.
"Jasper, thank you," Edward said as he ran his fingers through his hair.
Turning, they both made their way back to the house; Edward launched himself up the stairs and back towards his mate.
He was being selfish again, he needed to stop focusing on himself, but focus on her and her needs. When would he learn to put her first? So many years of being alone had definitely left him unprepared for a relationship.
Her sobs had quieted as she talked to Alice. Her words were worse than any torture he'd ever faced in his life. "He hates me for this doesn't he? He told me that he didn't want me anymore, and that I was nothing but a distraction. He has to hate me now, for forcing myself back into your life."
He could feel the rage in Alice's thoughts, in Carlisle's thoughts, in Esme's thoughts. Emmett was past rage and was vowing to hunt him down and beat him senseless if he didn't make his little sister feel better. Rosalie's thoughts shocked him: she was angry at him for hurting Bella so thoroughly when she'd never liked Bella in the first place!
He opened the door, Jasper behind him, sending him enough confidence to face his mate. She didn't look at him, she was still crying in Alice's arms. Her every tearless cry was like a burning acid; it was like enduring an eternity of the pain he'd felt while being changed in 1918. He wrapped his arms around Bella, pulling her from Alice to his arms.
Jasper flinched and curled into him as a wave of pain, confusion, doubt, shame and love radiated off of the two. Alice rubbed Bella's back once more and then went to her husband. Then, she dragged him out of the room. He needed to be away from Bella and Edward's emotions for a while, and she'd only be a fast run away if her visions alerted her to anything gone wrong. She hoped that this time the two soul mates had finally gotten it together. If they were back together, she could go back to planning the wedding that she'd been planning almost since the first time they'd met each other in Biology.
Edward felt happiness war with his sorrow as he held her in his arms. How he'd longed every day and every long night since he'd left her on that awful day to hold her in his arms once more. Now she was there. Unless she wanted him to, he'd never let her out of his arms again. She still smelled wonderful: a blend of freesias and strawberries, only now she didn't cause the venom to pool in the back of his throat. He knew that she was confused, and that he had to speak soon, but he just wanted to hold her, to memorize the feel of her, the smell of her. When she rejected him, he could always have those memories to draw on.
"Forgive me, I lied. I've always loved you... I just thought-"
She interrupted him by putting a finger on his lips. He was vaguely aware of his family leaving them alone as angst ripped him into tiny little pieces. She wouldn't let him finish. She would never forgive him. His soul mate hated him. He wanted to curl up and die.
She removed her finger and gazed into his black eyes, which were full of the pain and despair that he felt. Her crimson eyes were loving and sparkling, her earlier sorrow and confusion replaced by his words.
He felt hope stirring within; with her face looking showing that surely he wasn't being rejected.
"Words lie," she whispered as she kissed him. Unlike the chaste kisses that they'd shared before, this kiss was full of long suppressed longing, love, and forgiveness. Edward felt like he was drowning in her love. It was almost like he could see into her soul while she gazed into his. Through the kiss they exchanged reassurances that they were both here and whole, and that their love was still intact, still incredible. Suddenly all of those months of separation didn't matter anymore. The pain began to be healed by the reaffirmation of their love.
She wasn't whole yet, and probably wouldn't be for some time. But he was here and real. He loved her.
For now, he loved her. She was certain that he would stay, that it wasn't guilt at the state that she'd been in before being turned that made him love her. But she would enjoy his presence for as long as he blessed her with it.
Seeming to read her thoughts, he held her tighter, as both of them worked on maintaining unnecessary breaths, "I'm not leaving."
She tried to keep the doubt out of her voice when she whispered, "I'll try to believe in that for now."
She didn't succeed.