HI HI HI

I'm really really busy in schooling, dealing with my toddler son, etc. so I've been not able to write much...as you can see.

If I had my druthers I'd post a chapter every day.

But I don't..have my druthers OR post a chapter every day.

I'm taking classes for prep for a hospital transcriptionist, which is typing up doctors' and nurses' ,psychologists', etc. notes in plain english--which means I have to learn LATIN (kill me please!) on top of anatomy, medicenes, the bones, the muscles, major nerves, ...and etc etc.

I'm also taking basic classes (reading, writng, 'rithmatic too much home work makes me sick...and gives me migraines) .

PLUS I'm seperately-but-at-the-same-time (ish) working on basic medical assistant courses which is a tuffy. Especially mentally (In one of my English courses we're talking about "analogs". I have GOT to stop giggling every time I hear th word "analog").

After this mess is over (4 months! Woot!) I'l l be starting fitness/physical therapy training...I'm working from the bottom up, the shorter (well, it takes 4 years but the classes I'm taking an how I'm taking them will shorten it down to 2 ) way

(AND cheaper ) way to be a proper nurse, BSN , to work at nursing homes, doing physical therapy and etc.

Sorry for the delay !!!!!!!

Love you lots !!!!

"CASTLE MAD"

Wednesday,November 20th

10am

Well, my life has certainly took a funny turn. Or ,rather, it's had a F.T. and in all the confusion, I ended up here..in America.

Dad and Mum got invited by some distant uncle or something to America for Thanksgiving Dinner.

11am

Mum has forced me to go with them to the store for food. Also, they forgot to bring Libby's training knickers.

Mum remembered she had forgotten to pack them when we were halfway to America ,and after she peed on MY lap.

11:01am

Libby did, not Mum.

11:15am

Dad can't find the grocery store.

He stopped at a gas station to ask, but he just told them about a place that sells walls.

11:30am

Still driving around. We just passed a sign that said "Welcome to Oklahoma".

Now we are most defiently lost.

Mum said "Bob, maybe we should try WallMart."

Dad said "I am not lost and I am not going to made an arse of again .Real men don't need to ask diretions."

11:45am

Oklahoma Tourist Center

Turns out, Wall Mart doesn't sell just walls. It has EVERYTHING.

I turned to Dad "Don't worry, you may not be a man, but you're still my dad."

Mum laughed.

12:30pm

Walmart (in Missouri again)

Wandering around.Mum and Dad let me go around alone , as long as I meet them by the front doors at 1pm.

I'm tempted not to.Dad's wearing black trousers and a "clown car convention 2004" t-shirt and Mum is wearing a red,leather skirt that's literally only two inches long (I measured it when she was asleep on the plane, her legs in the air so EVERYONE could see what she had for dinner'as Grandad says) and a LOW low cut black sequiny top. They look rediculous. I told them that and they said " We happen to look very fashionable for our age."

Good Lord.

12:40pm

Wall Mart really does have everything. I just saw knickers that say "Hot Stuff" cross the front, and a dog pager, that beeps when the dog is trying to escape from his leash.

Maybe I should get that for Angus. Ever since we've got here Angus has been trying to eat the fish in the aquarium up in the front of the hotel.

The snobby girl at the front desk told me the fish are worth $2,000 each. To, me that's an exspensive bill. To Angus, it's a gourmet dinner. And he's not ate since before the airplane .

1pm

I can't find Mum and Dad. all I see is a bunch of old-age pensioners wearing the american flag for shirts. I'd kill myself if that was MY mother or father.

1:01pm

Wait a tick...

1:02pm

Oh god, it is.

1:10pm

I tried to duck behind a cart of singing drunk santa claus toys (don't ask...I was afraid to) but they saw me.

Libby,I noticed, was wearing American flag knickers and little else.

"Oh, Gee, isn't it fantastic? We've been invited to a dinner tomorrow evening!"

"No way am I going to watch Libby by myself. I'd have to get paid to even consider it.And I really doubt that the hotel has a good enough insurance plan to cover the damage that she can, and probably will, do.

'The whole family's invited, including you."

"And Angus?"

Mum and Dad said together "NO"

"I promise he won't bite anyone."

One of the OAPs that Dad and Mum and Dad were talking to came over ."Who's Angus?"

"A bloody menace."

I gave my dad a Look. "My cat." I said .

"OOOh--what kind?"

"A Scottish short-haired cat, I think."

At the word cat about a hundred more old people appeared out of nowhere "I have a cat!" "I love cats!" "I have ten ,myself."

"--yes,two blue ribbons" "---four cans of tuna a day"

The first old lady said "You HAVE to bring your cat. He sounds beautiful."

I said "yeah, Mum, we've Just gotta!" In my best Americanese accent.

Dad drove 80 all the way back to the hotel.

7pm

Dad has grounded me to the hotel room while they go to an Elvis concert.

I said as they were leaving "Elvis is dead,you know!" and Mum slammed the door shut.

It's not like I wanted to go anyways.

Unlike Mum, I don't fancy fat guys with sideburns in leather jumpsuits.

The first and last one I saw was when we had gone to New York,New York.Dad had been invited to a clown car coverntion. That should tell you how crap that trip was.

Anyways, the New York,New York Elvis had uneven sideburns and weighed about 500 pounds...And his pants had disco lights on them.

That reminds me, I wonder if Rosie and Sven had set the date yet.

7:10pm

That's strange. The phone must have rung about a hundred times, but no one picked up.

7:12pm

Jas' phone,too.

Hm...maybe I dialed it wrong.

7:15pm

It rang five times before I heard someone pick up the reciever.

"WHAT?"

"Jas ? You don't sound too good."

"It's 2 o'clock in the bloody morning."

"Really?

"Yes."

"Then why are you awake? Don't you have school tomorrow?"

She slammed down the phone on me.

Geez, she needs to start going to bed aLOT earlier.

7:45pm

That means, if it's 7pm here and 2am there, that they are 7 hours ahead.

So I have to add 7 to whatever time it is here.

7:50pm

Does that mean on New Year's Eve, if I'm here that it's next year there already ?

8pm

Hey,I can have two birthdays!

8:05pm

And two Christmases.

8:15pm

Well, as long as I can catch the fastest airplane there is.

Or leave at 3am to make it back home before all the clubs and such close.

Either way, I have no one to talk to.

8:30pm

Called room service and ordered a bowl of icecream and some chips. And some bubblebath.

Maybe it'll be a cute boy to entice.

Ever since this whole Masimo and Robbie and Dave fandango I've made up my mind--boys are only good for snogging and going to clubs with, so that's what I'm only going to use them for. Everything will only be platonic, which Madonna does, and look hopw happy she is, always surround younger guys...and very fit ones, at that.

8:35pm

That means for now on, to be like Madonna I have to be like Madonna. I always have to look my best and eat healthyly (I think she's a vegetablearian) and always have plenty of lipstick on hand, for all the extra snogging I'll be doing.

I am NOT going to be wearing cone bras though. I don't like the viking look.

8:37pm

And putting plastic icecream cones in your bra hurts.

8:40pm

Trying to pull on my tights when someone knocked on the door. I fell over the couch trying to get to it.

I readjusted my bra like Mum does (mainly because there's no bra in the world that could hold one, let alone both, of her ginormous basoomers), re-applied lippy and checked my hair before opening the door.

But it was just some old lady.

What a waste of black fishnets.

8:42pm

Uhm, I was wearing the fishnets...not her...she looked like she could have used a pair of them though.Her feet over flowed down her legs and over her shoes just like Slim's does back home...

Home...I miss home.

8:45pm

I do NOT miss Slim.

Nor Dave the Un-Laugh.He's been acting strange around me ever since the "the bigger the pants, the harder they fall" incident.

Boys are sooooooooooooo useless.

9:15pm

In the bath. I had to eventually cut the tights off.They were cutting into my skin, so the hot water feels good on my legs.

I think I grabbed Liubby's tights by mistake.Mum bought her some at the Wall Store so we'll look like "twinsies".I wanted to strangle Mum with my tights but it would have been a waste of nylon.

I'm tired. Being Madoona is exhasuting.

Thursday,November 21st,"Thanksgiving".

6am

Why? Why do I hzve to get up at 6am when I'm on holiday?

I bet Madonna doesn't have to get up at 6am.

6:05am

I pointed this out to Mum (she was trying to put regualr kinkcers on Libby but she didn't want to)and she said "Yes,well, you're not Madonna."

Over the screaming she also said "We have a long drive ahead so bring a lunch."

Whatever happened to Mums staying at home,cooking and loving and caring for their family ?

11:20 am

Only just on our way. Angus hd one of his "Call of the Wild" momnts and attacked Dad's beard.

3pm

Still driving. Iasked Mum "Where is this place,France?"

She replied "He likes to be secluded."

Oh great--he sounds just as mad as Grandad.

5pm

After about a hundred years in the back of the clown car, we've funally arrived.

About bloody tme too---my head is aching like mad.Libby wanted to play "I spy" and everytime I got it wrong, or she got one wrong, se biffed me on the head with her shoe.

5:05pm

Jumped out of the car for a stretch and nearly fell over. My legs are locked up!

I had tograb the side of the car as to stay stable.

"Mum--I can't walk!"

"Shut up Georgia.It's your own fault. If you hadn't crouched on the floor the whole trip you wouldn't be stiff."

And this is the woman teaching parenting classes !!!!

5:15pm

Did some yoga with a bit of snog exercising --I'm having horrid snog withdrawal pains--.

Dad saw me and raised his eybrows. I stopped.

"Right, we only have a few minutes' drive left.So I'm going to say this now You better be on your best behavior Georgia. No fires, no rudeness. And if your cat even thinks about ttacking ANYONE it's the vet for him."

He clapped his hads tgether and looked round at us, grinning like a loon. Which he is.

"Wait untill you see the gates. You'll b amazed anyone like this could be related to me."

"Not really."

He stopped and though a moment."Yu know what I mean."

"Not really."

He shot me a Look.I jumped back in the car.

5:25pm

Ate a quick bit of lunch (herring and mayo sandwhiches -ergghhh) and backon our way.

Dad keeps saying "It's only a miunte further." but he's been saying that for 10 minutes now.

I hope we get there soon--those sandwhiches are gving me lurgy.

5:35pm

Dad stopped the car and I jumped out. I think I'm going to chunk.

1/2 a minute later

Why have e stopped? All I see is hedges and bloody great gate.

5:40pm

Dad's brainhas fallen out --he's talking to the gate.

5:41pm

Still talking to the gate.

5:45pm

Dad is finally back in the back, looking all important and naff.

Finally ...on our way.

5:47pm

Why are we just sitting here?

Asked Mum and she just said "Shhhhh"

5:50pm

After a hundred hours of pain and agony (Libby wanted to play barbie ,which consisted of whaking my upside the head with scuba-diving barbie) the gates opened.

The raod is really long, and eveything is closed of by big hedges towering over the garden.

It's like a courtyard in a castle. Or the grounds at an asylum.

5:56pm

We're finally there.

Jumped out of the car--and nearly fell over.

We ARE at a castle !!!!!