Here it is everyone. The concluding chapter of It's Elementary, My Dear Ed
Disclaimer: I don't own Ed, Edd n Eddy
Eddy paced 10 feet away from the trailer park, afraid that the Kankers might get a whiff of his cheap cologne if he stood too close.
"How can we get in there and bust those Kankers?" Eddy muttered, rubbing his chin. Ed was sitting down on the ground and fiddling with the dirt underneath his nails. Ed shrugged and continued to pick out some unknown substances from under the nails. Eddy groaned a bit and looked up into the sky. Eddy smirked and then looked over at Ed. "It looks like it's your time to shine, Lumpy"
"It's time for a little disguise work" Eddy said proudly and grinned a big grin.
Eddy began to open the drawers of each and every cabinet he had in his room. It wasn't difficult to try and fine something that would make him look good, well then again, in Eddy's mind, everything looks good on him. The real challenge was finding something that he wouldn't care if Ed wore and wouldn't need to wash 578 times. Ed was standing near Eddy's mirror, sticking his yellow fingers in Eddy's hairgel. Finally, Eddy found the perfect outfit. A tacky orange sweater that his grandmother has sewn for him and a pair of golf pants with grass stains on them. "Perfect"
Eddy tossed the clothes at Ed and began to get dressed himself, a black tuxedo with a small red flower. Eddy looked in a mirror and pushed back the three strands of hair and drew a small pencil mustache on his upper lip and a small goatee. He slapped a bushy fake beard made out of carpet on Ed's face and smirked. "Let's go bust some Kankers"
"Hey May! Get me some more chips!" Lee ordered the blonde. Marie and Lee were lazily laying on the couch staring at the t.v. May stood defensively.
"I got them last time! It's Marie's turn" she pointed at the blue haired girl. Marie looked up and sneered.
"What are you talking about?! I brought them in the last time!" Marie shouted back.
"No! I did!"
"No, I did!"
"Yes I did!"
Lee began to snarl through her teeth. She grabbed both of her sister's by the collar of their shirts.
"Shut up and get me the chips!" she shouted and tossed both of them into the kitchen, making a crash. There was suddenly knocks at the door and Lee grumbled. "Who is it now?". She dragged her feet to the screen door and opened it to find a trembling, disguised Ed. She raised a clump of red hair out of one of her eyes to get a good look at him. "What do you want?"
Ed began to make nervous gaggling sounds as Lee continued to stand at the doorway. Eddy poked his head out of the box he was hiding in near the trailer.
"Ed, convince her to get out of the house" he whispered and the Ed boy nodded a bit.
"Uh, the sky is falling!" Ed shouted and pointed upwards. Eddy smacked himself in the face. Lee raised an eyebrow.
"What are you talking about? I don't hear anything " she said with a frown and Eddy began to look around until he spotted a small pile of rocks. He picked up a small one and threw it at Lee, making it bounce right off her head. She covered her head and began to look around. "What the heck was that?!"
Eddy smirked and began to throw more rocks at Lee and also some at the trailer too. The other two Kankers ran out over to their sister with chips in their hands. "The sky is falling!" Lee shouted and began to run inside the house but Ed outstretched his hand.
"You cannot go in for these rocks are space asteroids that will melt right through the roof and when it hits you, it'll burn right through your skull and into your brain!" Ed exclaimed and Lee stood in shock.
"I'm getting out of here!" she screamed and Marie and May followed with their heads covered by their arms. Eddy smirked and beckoned Ed to come inside the trailer.
"Alright Ed, you'll be the lookout. When the Kankers come back around, begin to shout so we can get out of here" Eddy said and Ed saluted.
"Got it Detective Eddy"
"It's Detective Eddy!" Eddy shouted and then paused. "Agh, forget it"
Eddy made his way upstairs into the Kanker's bedroom. Pictures of all the Eds were lined along the walls and some home made drawings of the Kanker's fantasy weddings. Eddy was making himself sick just looking at all of this but shook his head. Must focus on the mission. He began to open up all the cupboards in the vanity set to find those small Ed dolls with Kanker dolls right next to them. Eddy felt his eyebrow twitch. He snatched up his doll and threw it in the trash can.
"These girls need to get another hobby" he muttered and continued to search for evidence. He stuck his hand underneath Lee's bed and began to feel around until he felt something tangle around his wrist. He smirked, thinking he found some rope and pulled it out from underneath and then stared at the item hanging from his wrist.
It wasn't a piece of rope that he could use as evidence that the Kankers tied up Double D. It was a bra and the strap was wrapped all around the pink boy's wrist. Eddy stared at it with wide-eyes and began to scream like crazy. He began to run all around the room, shaking his wrists and trying to get the piece of undergarments off without touching it. He rushed down the stairs with the clothing trailing right behind him. "ED! GET IT OFF!" Eddy screamed and ran all over the walls until someone removed the piece of clothing off of the wrist. "Ah, thanks Lumpy" he said and looked up. Lee was holding the bra tightly in her hands and Eddy gulped. He glanced around for Ed, finding him cowering in a corner.
"Well, well, well" Lee said and smeared Eddy's pencil mustache with her thumb. Marie and May poked their heads out from behind and smiled eagerly.
"It's Eddy Bond" Marie said slyly and Eddy pointed a finger at the Kankers.
"You kidnaped Double D!" he said with a little tremble in his voice. All three of the Kankers cocked their heads to the side.
"What are you talking about? Double D is missing?!" Marie said with a gasp and then she shrugged. "Aw well, I guess I'll just share" she replied and grabbed Eddy by the arm. Lee quickly grabbed Eddy's other arm.
"Oh no you don't! Eddy's mine!" Lee shouted and tugged on Eddy.
"But we're sisters! We should share!" Marie said and tugged on Eddy too.
"Ha! I bet Double D ran away to get from you" Lee replied and Marie snarled. She grabbed Lee by her red hair and began to pull and tug. Soon it turned into a wrestling match between the two sisters while May watched. Eddy and Ed slowly began to make their way to the back door until Lee's head popped out through the cloud of dust. "Hey! They're getting away!"
"Run Ed!" Eddy shouted and quickly used Ed as a battering ram on the door and dashed out of the trailer park.
Ed sniffled as he sat in front of Double D's house.
"We'll never going to see him again" he whined with his lower lip trembling. This time, Eddy had an umbrella with him just in case Ed turns into a fountain of tears. "I'm going to miss him. His hat. His shirt. His suitcase"
"Suitcase?" Eddy questioned and turned to see Ed sobbing on a deep red suitcase. Double D looked down at the two Ed's sitting in front of his house.
"Um Ed, may I ask why are you feeling so glum? I wasn't gone for that long" he said, bending down so he was at eye level with the yellow kid. Ed's frown turned upside down and he began to squeeze the life out of Double D.
"Double D! We found you!" Ed said happily as he spun his friend around. Double D was beginning to turn a deep color from either his lungs being crushed or the odor coming from Ed. He finally managed to break free from Ed and regained his breath.
"Oh! I almost forgot, I brought you back gifts from Washington" Double D said and began to dig into his suitcase. Eddy stood up abruptly.
"Washington? Since when did you go to Washington?!" Eddy asked and Double D looked up.
"Since five days ago, of course. Remember, I told you and Ed about a class trip I was taking to Washington D.C. while we were at lunch"
"I don't remember you saying anything about Washington!"
"That's because everything I say to you either goes in one ear and out the other or you just tune out my voice altogether"
"Hey did you brought anything for me?" Eddy asked and Double D hung his head in defeat. He continued to look through his suitcase and pulled out a stack of books. "You have got to be kidding"
"These books are from the Folger Shakespeare Library. There's 'Romeo & Juliet', 'Hamlet', 'The Tempest'..."
"Snores-ville" Eddy said and knocked the books out of Double D's hands. Double D frowned and began to pick up the books.
"Well excuse me for trying to enlighten you and Ed on the arts of Shakespeare" Double D said and began to walk inside his house with Ed following right behind.
"All this time we were looking for him, he'd been in Washington! What a jip of a good story!" Eddy grumbled and began to stomp off to his house.
Eddy slipped inside of his room but what he found on his bed frightened him. It was Kevin, the flies were still buzzing around his head and the now car-free bumper was still chained to his wrist.
"Well, well, well. If it isn't Dorktective Eddy" he said with a sneer and Eddy gulped.
"Kevin, I can explain. It was all Ed's fault and Double D's too!" Eddy shouted but Kevin drew nearer with the bumper armed for a beating.
"Well, look at the bright side. I won't be hitting you with my fists" he said and raised the bumper high. Eddy flinched and covered his head. Ed perked his ears up at the sounds of screams coming from Eddy's house.
"Shouldn't we help Eddy?" he asked Double D as he was unpacking.
"A good detective never jumps to conclusions and pay attention to information given to him, Ed. Eddy must learn his lessons the hard way"
Well everyone. There's the chapter for ya. Sorry if the ending sucked and you're all pissed and everything but I didn't really wanted it to be a dynamic ending anyways, just something like the actual series would be. And to kind of make it up for you, here's a sneek peek of my next Ed, Edd n Eddy story, 'Anything Your Ed Could Do, Mine Can Do Better'.
The sky was clearer than ever over the suburbs of Peach Creek. Well, it would have been if that cloud of smoke wasn't rising higher and higher. It was apparently coming from in the middle of the street and three beings were lying near the burnt object. The thing that had caught on fire was a stand and also a sign with the remaining words 'Get Ed Popcorn'. Ed was lying on the ground, staring at the smokey sky, covered in soot along with Double D, who was trying to get himself cleaned of the ash falling all around him. Eddy growled and hit his forehead.
"Great idea, Sock Head" Eddy grumbled.
Expect the story to come out somewhere in late June or early July. Hopefully I'll see you all reviewing for it as well. See ya soon!