Disclaimer: I do not own the Scarecrow. Amazing.
This story is part of the CATverse. (www. freewebs. com/ catverse) It follows the CATfight story arc, and comes after the girls' return to their Squishykins, but before anyone does any real sharing about what they've been up to. Expect some eggshell-walking. But the most important thing to know is that this is a direct sequel to BiteMeTechie's "Tourist Trap."
And I'd like to extend my apologies for my long absence from writing. IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
I hate writing in diaries. Hate it, hate it, hate it. But my therapist says it's good for me because I have to face my fears and all that, which is also why I'm in Gotham after successfully avoiding it for all these years and I really don't want to be here, I don't, I don't. I hate this place. I mean, sure, it's beautiful, but I can't even look at the architecture anymore, I can't enjoy it. I don't want to be here. I want to go home, I want to go home, I want to go home.
Okay. Breathing. Breathing just fine. I'm okay. I'm not having a panic attack. I'm sitting by an open window. This room has two exits. I'm going to be just fine.
I am NOT fine.
It was bad enough back in Iowa, when just about anything could set me off but at least I could look around and see that I was home, I still had the big blue sky and the wide open spaces and my comfy little house that was bigger on the inside than the outside. I was home and I could calm myself down most of the time, and if not there was always Mom, and then Peter, and I miss him so much. I wish he could have come with me. I think I could survive Gotham if he were with me. Of course he had to work, he always has to work, but I wish he could have come. Our anniversary is coming up so soon, and I haven't told him about the baby yet. I had planned to tell him when he took me to dinner, I guess I still will, and I know he'll be happy. He wouldn't have let me come here alone if he had known I was pregnant. I shouldn't have come.
If I go home right now, will it really make any difference? I mean, I've faced my fear. I came here. And look, ma, no Scary villains chasing after me in the night although it hasn't actually been night yet but still, I'm here and everything's fine. Right?
Last time I was here I was stupid, but this time I'll do better. If I stay. I mean, there's no reason why I should stay the whole three days. Why should I? There's facing your fear and then there's tempting fate.
I don't want to see him again, okay? Him or the girls who worked for him. I don't know why Dr. Wyndham should think there's anything wrong with that. It's not like I'm crazy for wanting to stay away from him. I would be crazy if I thought it would be a good idea to seek him out. I'M NOT CRAZY. I'm just high-strung. And I have a good reason, so I don't know why everyone thinks there's something wrong with me.
Isn't it just barely possible that someone could live through a traumatic event and be affected by it without automatically turning out to be some kind of nutcase?
I hate writing in diaries.