Disclaimer: I own neither buffy nor stargate. They were both created by their respective peeps who are far above me in so many ways! Also, I stole a line from Monty Python and the holy grail...

Setting: Post-chosen Buffy-wise, and probably in season5 of stargate, altho at the moment the stargate season doesn't matter too much. We'll see how that goes...

Oh, and this chapter is very much a Stargate chapter, but don't worry - our buffster will appear way more soon. Please read and review!

Chapter One

SG-1 had only been on P3X-738 for three minutes before they were captured. Jack O'Neill knew that they should be more than used to this occurring by now. When the MALP had been sent through the images they had received back were the usual – trees, grass, trees and more trees. It was a seemingly safe environment. However, when they had stepped through the gate they had immediately been fired upon by a contingent of Jaffa. Jack had to admit that while he loved Teal'c, and was all for Jaffa freedom, sometimes these guys were pains in the ass! It didn't take long for them to realize that they were supremely out numbered. After laying down their weapons, SG-1 was led away, presumably to meet the reigning Goa'uld 'God'.

Walking through the forest, they came upon a clearing where a swamp could be seen. By this swamp was a temple evidently built by whatever materials could be scavenged from the area.

"One day lad, all this'll be yours…" Jack quipped.

"Perhaps you could save your witticisms until we have the upper hand?" requested Daniel.

After rolling his eyes at Daniel, he turned to Teal'c. "So Teal'c, recognized these guys?" indicating towards their captors.

"I do not." answered Teal'c.

The Jaffa leading them turned towards Jack. He hit him behind the knees with his staff weapon. "Ha'shak kree!"

"Ow! What was that for?"

"Ah sir," cut in Carter "I think it might have been a hint to not – " before Carter could finish, she too was hit behind the knees with the staff.

"…talk." she concluded.

"Thanks for the demonstration, Carter," Jack said smugly as he helped her to her feet as best as he could with his hand tied behind his back.

The group continued on in silence as they were led through the path in the swamp towards the makeshift temple. As they approached, Jack could make out details of the temple. It was mostly made out of a combination of wood, tree bark and mud brick and was admittedly quite dismal in comparison to the usual Goa'uld abode. Outside what was presumably the main entrance there stood two wooden statues of crocodiles. Jack looked in Daniel's direction, where he noted recognition in the archaeologist's eyes. With a slight nod of his head, Daniel indicated he would share his new knowledge as soon as he could.

They entered the temple, arriving at the foot of an unoccupied throne.

"Ke'i!" instructed the Jaffa.

"He wants us to kneel," translated Daniel, complying as he did so. The other three knelt also, Teal'c somewhat reluctantly. Once down they moved into a semi-circle.

"So, who are we expecting?" Jack queried.

When they all turned to Daniel expectantly, he obliged. "Judging from the statues at the outside, and a cartouche I noted above the entrance we appear to be in the territory of Sobek, the ancient Egyptian crocodile deity."

Jack turned to Teal'c. "What do you know about him, T?"

"That he has largely been presumed dead by the System Lords. The Goa'ulds Bastet and Kali supposedly turned on him while forming an alliance. This occurred many a generation ago. His head is still rumoured to adorn Bastet's wall."

As Teal'c finished speaking the Goa'uld himself entered the room.

"Well, as dead guys go, he seems more lively than most…" Jack whispered.

"Silence!" commanded Sobek. "Who are you?"

Jack got up from his knees and took the floor. "I'm sorry, did you want us to be silent or…"

"Jaffa!" Sobek called, signalling to them to shoot him.

"Woah, woah, woah, what happened to the Q&A??"

"Then speak slave. Who are you?"

"My name's Vader. Darth Vader. Friends call me Gary." At this remark, Teal'c's trademark eyebrow rose and Sam chuckled quietly to herself.

"Which god do you serve?"

"Oh, we're all kind of…freelance…"

As slight smile appeared on Sobek's face. "You may jest slave, but I'm afraid this situation is a little direr then you seem to understand. I have an ultimatum for you. You may accept me as your one true God, or…" He turned to a door on the other side of the room. It opened and a two of his Jaffa threw a person to the floor. It was a young woman, who had evidently been tortured in length. Her hair colour was barely recognisable under the stain of her blood and she was too weak to even kneel, lying slumped on the floor.

Sobek wandered over to her, while fastening his hand device.

"Good morning, and have we changed our mood today" Sobek asked as he stood over her. Jack saw a twitch of recognition in the woman's back, as she began to straighten it. She then put all of her remaining strength into kneeling up. Her eyes slowly moved up to meet Sobek's. She then surprised Jack by managing to force a slight smile on to her face as she began to speak.

"I'm afraid not, but let's just put this past week down to PMS and call the whole thing off." She then grabbed Sobek's arm containing the hand device and pulled him to the ground. Her hands moved towards his throat, but the Jaffa guards managed to Zat her in time to stop her. They then dragged her unconscious form away and Sobek turned back to SG-1. A scowl on his face, he no longer spoke to them, but indicated to his Jaffa to take them away.

They were thrown into a somewhat primitive cell with no advanced technology in sight. A number of Jaffa were standing watch by the door.

"Not exactly the 5-star comfort we're accustomed to, but it'll do. What's the room service like?" quipped Jack to the Jaffa. When none of them reacted he turned to his team. "So, what are we thinking?"

"I feel it would be a sensible move to escape, O'Neill" commented Teal'c..

"Thanks T, quick thinking. Carter?"

"Well sir, there certainly doesn't seem to be much hindering it other than a couple of Jaffa."

"Does anyone else find this whole thing a bit odd? I mean, where are the copious displays of wealth and technology? In my experience, Goa'ulds don't take the Low-tech approach."

"That is probably due to the fact that Sobek is in hiding," Daniel proposed. "I mean, he must be. As Teal'c said, the System Lords believe him to be dead. In order to stay 'undercover', as it were, he wouldn't be able to obtain any of the necessary materials without arousing suspicion."

"Ok, so hands up who wants out?"

Ten minutes later SG-1 were out of their cell. With newly acquired weapons in hand, they moved covertly through the corridors of Sobek's temple.

"You know, one of these days we should try out that whole Hansel and Gretel thing" Jack said as they tried to find the way out before the rest of the Jaffa were alerted to their escape.

After taking a further wrong turns they found themselves facing another cell similar to the one they had escaped from. However, in this cell sat the young woman that Sobek had brought out to show them.

"We have to help her!" Daniel demanded.

Jack, half resentfully but knowing it was right, moved up to the door and blasted the lock. The woman looked up with a combination of fear and defiance. However, this turned to confusion when he realised who her visitors were.

"If you want out, now's the time," Jack told her. After a moment it registered in her and she began getting up. Carter moved to help her, however once she stood up it became evident that she wouldn't be able to hold her own weight for long. Teal'c then took her in his arms and carried her as they made their way further down the corridors.

Once they were outside it seemed that they would be able to get away without retaliation. Of course, when does that ever happen?, Jack thought not a moment before they began to be fired upon. They trudged through the swamp as fast as they could, but unfortunately the Jaffa had the upper hand due to their knowledge of the landscape. The Jaffa began to converge on them from all angles and SG-1 looked almost as though they would have to surrender again when Jack heard a crackle over his radio.

"SG-1 this is Stargate Command. Come in."

"Stargate Command, this is O'Neill. Your timing is as impeccable as ever! Could we get some back-up here?"

"SG-12 is ready and waiting."

"Send 'em through!"

Moments later SG-12 appeared behind the encircling Jaffa. By taking them by surprise it gave SG-1 a chance to break through the Jaffa's line. Sg-12 covered them as they ran to the Stargate, Carter rushing towards the DHD to dial.

They soon arrived back at the SGC. Upon seeing the ailing woman in Teal'c's arms Dr Fraiser was called for. She lay the woman down on a stretcher and started asking her questions. First off the bat was, "Can you tell me your name?"

"Buffy. I'm Buffy," said the woman just before she fell unconscious.