Reality

Lily Evans has told you all about me already, hasn't she? I'm a horrible, nasty womanizer. I stalk her. I'm rude to my girlfriends. I'm a good-for-nothing, a boor, a bastard, a jerk. I hurt my girlfriends emotionally. I break hearts. I'm a player.

I guess it's true.

Mostly.

I've always loved Lily Evans. I guess I don't show it too good though. She was the only girl who ever returned my insults. The only girl who didn't fawn over me because I'm rich. The only girl I ever fell in love with. She's perfect in every way. And she hates me.

Yes, I've had multiple girlfriends at Hogwarts.

Yes, I've broken up with every one of them.

Yes, I've asked Lily out every day for years.

No, I'm not proud of my reputation.

I'm not a womanizer, you know. You have to believe me. I never slept with one of those girls, not one. I'm still a virgin, believe it or not. You can laugh, it's all right. I just don't see the point in sleeping with someone you don't love. Hell, I never even really liked one of those girls. They came after me. I don't even think they really like me. Not the real me, at least; those girls just went after the tall, rich, Quidditch champion they thought they knew. I tried to tell Lily. I didn't ask them out. I didn't sleep with them. I didn't love them.

She never believed me, though.

She probably thought I was some kind of nymphomaniac. I'm sure all those girls talked about our sex life. I'm sure they spread rumours to everyone. But they're not even close to the truth, I swear!

She never believed me, though.

All I was trying to do was forget about her. That's all those girls were-a way to replace Lily. None of them matched up though. They all bothered me in some way. Some of them were too giggly. Some were too rude. None of them were Lily. I didn't want to hurt them, but I couldn't stay with someone who wasn't Lily. Lily Evans was the girl for me.

She never believed me, though.

She believed what she saw; she believed what she heard. She never gave me a chance to tell her the truth. That it was always her, always. That I loved her more than anything else. That if she would just give me a chance, I would change for her in a heartbeat. But she won't listen. She won't listen to the truth, the reality. I guess I just have to wait until she does. I just have to wait until she realizes I've grown up.

I guess I'll be waiting awhile, huh?