Title: 101 Questions
Rating: PG 13
Warnings: Language, Violence, Nudity
Summary: Sakura tugged at Sasuke's pants, and peered at him curiously. "Hey mister, what's an ass?" At the end of the day he'll be lucky if he wanted to restore his clan.
Disclaimer: I neither hold now ownership to Naruto nor am I affiliated with the anime, manga or mangaka of this series. The only thing I own is the plot and whatever made up characters of my own designs. Whatever lyrics used belong to their respectable owners as well.
Author's Note: I thought this idea would be rather cute. I think trying to keep Sasuke in character kind of led to the opposite in Sakura's case. However, she is just a little kid for the majority of the fanfiction. It's probably noticeable that Sasuke does not go to Orochimaru for power, so this makes things semi alternate universe. His clothing is the same, open shirt, except he wears black pants similar to Kakashi's. Major good-natured Sasuke torture, my first, and maybe only. Please refer to the additional author's note at the end of the story.
Chapter One: The Mission
Kakashi popped into the room an hour late, a book in hand, and a lie on his tongue. "I'm sorry there was this—"
"Save it, Kakashi. This isn't time for one of your long, bullshit stories." Tsunade said, cutting off the excuse, and Naruto's "liar" accusation. Clearly, this was serious for usually she'd enjoy the small entertainment.
Well,someone is in a bad mood. The silver haired jounin silently retorted.
Clearly no one knew how much effort it took to create such wonderful tales especially when he was cut off before getting to the good part. Perhaps they believed he just pulled each and every one out of his ass. But it was simply an art, quite misunderstood, and ignored to boot.
Naruto glanced around, and noticed a particular member of their team was missing. "Hey, where's Sakura?"
Tsunade cleared her throat, and appeared slightly uncomfortable, yet pleased by his observation. "Well, I'm glad someone noticed."
Sasuke gave her a look that clearly stated he noticed, but god forbids he be the one to open his mouth, and voice the obvious. The hokage continued, "This meeting is about Sakura."
Naruto's eyes widened as he rushed up to her desk, and exclaimed like a overly worried parent, "What happened? Is she okay? Does she need my help? I'll kick whoever's ass—"
"Calm down, you idiot! I can't hear myself think!"
Naruto slumped. So it wasn't as serious as he thought. But could she blame him for actually caring?
"As I was saying…" Tsunade cleared her throat again, more forcefully this time, and inclined her head to Shizune who just left through the back door. "I think a visual would give you a better idea."
Shizune reentered the room holding hands with a pink haired, green eyed girl no older than six. It didn't take a brain surgeon to put two, and two together.
"S-Sakura?" Naruto stared, or rather gawked along with Sasuke, and Kakashi. "You're so…tiny."
"What happened?" The Uchiha questioned, directing this to the hokage.
Tsunade sighed. "Well, as an apprentice, and a young lady I thought it was only right to teach her the anti aging justsu. It's far better than those anti wrinkling creams, and those face lifting surgeries. It's a rather complicated technique, and one incorrect hand signal can have uhm…undesirable results."
"Uhm Ms. Shizune…?" Sakura whispered and, still hiding behind Shizune, tugged at the woman's skirt bottom. "Who are these people and why are they staring at me like that?"
Shizune smiled warmly at the now miniature medic, and gestured to the three men before them. "Well, these are your friends. Naruto Uzumaki is over there in the black, and orange."
"Hey Sakura!" Naruto replied trying to make her not feel nervous, or weird about this, and opened his arms as if inviting her in for a hug.
The mini medic sweat-dropped in response and offered a weak, nervous smile, but didn't take him up on the offer. He was kind of loud, and weird.
"That is Kakashi-sensei. He's your teacher." Shizune pointed to the silver haired jounin who was concentrating rather hard on his novel again, much to the displeasure of everyone else in the room.
Sakura curiously tilted her head to the side. "What is he reading?"
"What kind of book?"
"It's just a boring book. In fact, it doesn't even have any pictures."
"I beg to differ." Kakashi interrupted, and tried not to be intimidated by the glare that he knew would be directed at him.
This sparked Sakura's interest much to Shizune's dismay. "I wanna read it."
The older woman laughed slightly while sweat-dropping. "That's enough questions for today, sweetheart."
"But that wasn't a question."
"Well, the thing is, you can't read it until you're grown up. It's a…very adult book."
"Oh." She seemed to accept that answer, thankfully, but continued to stare at the man.
"Now where were we? Ah yes, introduction. You've already met, Naruto," who was still waiting for a hug, "And Kakashi-sensei," she glared slightly at the perverted jounin, but he didn't care. "And last, but not least is Sasuke Uchiha."
Sasuke grunted in response, his expression remained impassive as usual.
Would it kill him to at least smile? Tsunade wondered irritably.
But the idea of him forcing a smile probably would scare the poor girl, and half of Konoha instead of charming them. The thought alone made her shudder.
"S-Sasuke…" Sakura whispered, her eyes sparkling with adoration. Hearts forming in her eyes, the boy seemed to shine like a god, and again the medic fell head over heels in love with him.
Sasuke's eyes slowly widened. He and everyone else should have seen it coming. But for a little six year old she was quick on her feet.
"Sasuke!" Sakura exclaimed, and grabbed hold onto the boy's left pants leg. She was now official joined to him by the hip…or rather leg.
Even as a kid she rejects me. Naruto sulked in the nearby corner, drawing little imaginary circles on the wall.
"Now isn't that cute." Tsunade snickered, ignoring how the black-haired prodigy's scowl seemed to say otherwise.
"Is this…permanent?" Sasuke questioned, trying unsuccessfully to get the little minx to remove herself from his pants, but she held on like super glue.
The hokage fanned his concern away with an amused smile on her face for the Uchiha acted as if the world was about to end. "Oh don't worry so much. She doesn't have enough chakara reserves to make this permanent. She'll be back to her old self in no time. The bad news is she has no memories of her other self, but it will come back as she ages. So basically she's the average six year old…sort of."
Shizune was just as relieved as everyone else in the room; it would be seen in Kakashi's eyes if he wasn't so focused upon the perverted pages of his novel. "But what do we do with her in the meantime? I don't think her parents will take this as easily as you are."
So Kakashi could concentrate on two things at the same time. What skill. "Hum…well you do have a point. They would be really upset. And it wouldn't look good for either of us."
Then the thoughtful expression on the hokage's face faded into a wicked little grin as she peered at the Uchiha and her apprentice. "Well, since she's so…'attached' to Sasuke, we'll let him take care of her until then."
"Me?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow.
"Him?" Naruto shrieked, and looked at the hokage as if she were crazy.
She merely winked. "Just think of it as preparation to restoring your clan."
Kakashi, for the first time since being in the meeting, raised his head above his flirting paradise novel. "I have to agree with Naruto. Sasuke is just a boy. Though he is one of the two responsible ones out of the set—"
"Hey! Whose side are you on?" Naruto exclaimed.
"I wouldn't leave a child in his care for an unpredicted amount of time. In fact, I'll be happy to take Sakura off his hands."
Everyone looked at him as if he were insane. Was he serious? The man was quite lazy, or rather showed no real interest when it came to anything short of fighting, and reading. Even so a few seconds later Sasuke opened his mouth, and looked as if he was going to take him up on the offer. But the hokage beat him to the punch.
Tsunade scoffed, and spared Kakashi a bark of laughter since she was being professional at the moment, and he was sort of looking out for the medic's best interest. "Yeah right, as if I'd trust you. She'd find herself in your book collection, and be scarred for life."
Some people might have been offended, but he wasn't and actually thought it over while rubbing his chin. "And it would intervene with the steady reading pace I've set myself for. And no one is too young for new responsibilities. I think it's a great suggestion, and will provide a good life lesson."
The only side he's on is his own. Naruto scoffed. Kakashi must've had a lapse of misjudgment.
Sasuke ignored the older man, and turned to look back at the hokage, clear annoyance emanated from him. "I don't have time to be shackled with some kid. I have missions to complete, training to do—"
"Well, we can just postpone your mission." Tsunade said in a matter-of-factly tone. "You're one ninja down, and it was just a B rank anyways."
"B as in bor-ing." Naruto stretched the single word. As always, he wanted "action" which spelled "A missions".
"Gai's team can take care of it. They were itching for a mission anyways. As for training you can bring her along. She may not have many memories of her 'other self' before all this, but she does still possess her common sense. I know she won't interfere. You just might have a mini cheering squad."
Oh great, a mini cheering squad. Just what he has always wanted. Not.
Sasuke wrinkled his nose thinking about the insufferable girls that would try to sneak a peek at him training, and adding another lovesick one would be nightmarish. "Why can't you take her?"
"Because I'm the hokage, and I'll be busy governing." Tsunade smiled quite sweetly at the boy, but her tone was anything but. "I never knew you were a whiner, Uchiha."
The hokage's smile widened in response to his threatening glare as she tilted her head to the side before adding, "Besides, it won't be so bad. Think of it as a bonding experience. Once you deal with a little girl you'll be ready for anything."
Naruto hated it whenever Sasuke seemed to get more attention, and that he was always overlooked when it came to certain missions. "Why can't I take care of Sakura? I'd do a better job!"
Tsunade merely raised an eyebrow, and everyone else looked at the teenager as if he told some weird, but humorous joke or just suddenly grew three heads. How rude. Their reaction was worse than the time Kakashi had volunteered.
"Have you looked at your apartment lately? She'd end up with a stomach ulcer by the time she gets back to herself. Besides, you're too irresponsible. With the free time you can get ahead of training—"
"And be able to kick Sasuke's ass in no time." Naruto proclaimed, and thrust his fist into the air. He could practically taste how sweet victory would be.
Sakura tugged at Sasuke's pants, and peered at him curiously. "Hey mister, what's an ass?"
Naruto froze, feeling several glares directed in his direction. He laughed nervously, and sheepishly replied, "Well, will you look at the time. I think I hear Kakashi-sensei calling me. Bye!"
Wisely Naruto left, but not without nearly running into the door in the process. Afterwards the meeting was abjured.
It seemed Sakura's shyness had worn off, and she began talking quickly and energetically like old times. Tsunade pulled Sasuke aside for a moment to discuss things further, Shizune went to inform Gai's team of their mission, thus leaving Sakura alone to successfully continue pestering Kakashi about his choice of reading materials.
"Just do whatever keeps her happy for now." The hokage ordered the annoyed and disinterested prodigy. "Gradually she'll begin to return back to her sixteen year old self. However, excessive stress and anger could prolong the justu further. This typically should last a week without the justsu being activated again, which is why I don't want her more emotional than she already is."
Sasuke listened, but didn't comment. He still couldn't believe he got saddled with such a task. It would've been easier if Sakura acted like him as a kid - quiet, obedient, and behaved. Not a sugar high, nosey, little imp.
"I'm bored." Sakura whined, walking away from Kakashi. She wasn't getting any attention, and wasn't being entertained at all since there was nothing fun in the room to keep her occupied.
The hokage's expression changed from somber to just plain sweet, and innocent with a happy little tone. "You'll be having a lot of fun soon. I promise. So why don't you grab your shoes from the doorway, and your bag?"
Sasuke raised his eyebrow. He never heard her use that sort of toning before. But it seemed baby talk was a genetic thing for the opposite sex.
"Okay." The little girl nodded, and happily went to fetch the two items.
And just as quickly the hokage's sweet smile turned into a menacing dark scowl as she whispered, "So what I'm trying to say is – don't screw up, Uchiha."
About half an hour later Sakura and Sasuke were walking in the park heading for the training grounds to meet Kakashi, and Naruto. Normally it took less than five minutes to achieve this task, but with his team mate having short little legs, it took more than he expected.
Oh what he would give for that would-be annoying teenage girl to be walking beside him chatting away, or letting him be as they walked would be sheer heaven compared to her little self. Already in the child's presence he was getting quickly annoyed.
"Wait for me. You're walking too fast," Sakura said, and when Sasuke slowed down, she groaned, "Oh, you're walking too slowly. That snail is beating us!"
After finding a perfect pace, Sakura became rather silent for a while. She was kept busy by the activities of children playing games, couples cuddling, and occasional joggers. But at this age her attention span was far worse than Naruto when it came to long, complex explanations. But unlike him, she wasn't prone to zoning out, but to ask questions such as the famous "are we there yet".
Sakura sighed when Sasuke didn't reply, and peered at him curiously. "Hey daddy, where are we going?"
Upon hearing that name coming from her mouth the Uchiha would've fallen forward by the shock, but he recovered quickly enough to stop himself and retorted, "Sasuke."
"What? Where's that?" The mini medic blinked. They were going to a place named after him? How weird was that?
"My name is Sasuke. I'm not your daddy."
"But that's what Kaka-sensei and the hokage said."
"Well, they lied."
"Oh." Her eyes were wide with understanding, and then she shook her head. "Daddy, why'd they lie to me?"
"Sasuke. I'm not your daddy. Your father. Your papa. Your pa. I'm your team mate, okay?"
"So that means I don't have a daddy?" Sakura was horrified. "But everyone's supposed to have one, right Daddy Sasuke?"
"I just told you—"
"I wanna be like everyone else." She looked like she was going to cry, and make a scene – something he could do without. "I don't wanna be alone. Say you're my daddy, Sasuke Daddy."
He swore she was doing it on purpose, saying that, and looking up at him all innocently. Why was it that someone who felt nothing was left paralyzed by tears? It was pathetic.
"I'm not…would you just…just…" He peered irritably at her curious gaze, and with some effort controlled his temper rather well. "Look, never mind. Be quiet."
It was then that Naruto came running towards the two, waving his hands wildly, and began jogging in place as he talked. "Hey what's taking you so long? We're supposed to meet Kakashi-sensei at the training grounds half an hour ago. And you're later than he is!"
Sasuke said nothing more than pointing at Sakura before Naruto put the pieces together, and nodded. "Idiot." The frustrated Uchiha grumbled.
"Come on, Sakura. Let's get going before we turn into old people." Naruto grabbed the small child, placed her on his back, and away they went.
"At that speed he'll probably drop her." Sasuke scowled. And he knew who'd end up with the blame. Not the moron that did the dropping, but the moron that allowed the event in the first place.
Upcoming Chapter: Rubber Ducky
In the shower still, Sasuke turned his head upon hearing her voice, and stared. The soap slipped from his hand, and clanked onto the floor as black eyes met green. And then suddenly the silence was broken with screams.