"Dude, you know that Marui means round, right?" Niou asked, smirking.
Marui glared at him. "Shut up about my name!"
"So your full name means 'ball of fat'," Niou continued. "Which makes sense because you're always eating sweet things. Seriously, once you're forty I bet you're going to be 600 pounds."
"I know what we can do!!" Kirihara exclaimed, bouncing up and down. "We can stick a hose into his mouth and inflate him!!"
"Why?" Marui asked.
"So you can become round!" Kirihara said impatiently, as if it was the most obvious and natural thing in the world to stick a hose into someone's mouth.
"But I don't want to be round! Just because my name means ball of fat doesn't mean I actually have to be one!"
"Your parents have issues. I bet when you were a baby you were like, a ball of fat or something. I bet that's why your parents named you that way," Niou said.
"I was not! I was absolutely normal!"
"Niou, all babies are huge for their age. It's called baby fat, and 98.9 percent of babies have that when they're about five to six months old," Renji stated, eyes never leaving his notebook.
"I have another great idea! We should fill the hose up with animal fat and then put it in Marui-senpai's mouth!" Kirihara exclaimed.
"Here's a better idea," Niou began. "We can give him lots and lots of snacks so he'll eat all of them and then become a ball of fat."
"But the hose is quicker!!" Kirihara wailed.
"But if you stick a hose into his mouth he'll die, so making him eat tons of snacks is better."
"But then I won't be able to play tennis anymore!" Marui screamed. "I WANT TO PLAY TENNIS! WHY DO I HAVE TO BE A BALL OF FAT?! IT'S JUST A NAME!"
"It's your name."
"BUT, I WANT TO PLAY TENNIS, NOT BECOME A BALL OF FAT!"
"You can still play tennis, Marui-senpai!" Kirihara argued. "You'll just be rolling around the tennis court instead of running!"
I totally learned that Marui meant round during Japanese class. And then Demon Brat 2000 told me this and that and blah. XD