"How could this happen!?" Tayuya demanded, walking to the window and then back to the desk in what Tsunade assumed would become a promising pace.
"Well," the older woman leaned further back in her leather chair, "I didn't think I'd have to explain 'the birds and the bees' to someone who's pregnant, but-" She pulled out a drawer of her desk and dug out a pair of rather crude sock puppets, slipping one onto each hand, "When something happens between a man and a woman – or occasionally, a woman and a turkey baser-"
"STOP, DAMN YOU!" Tayuya, who had frozen when the words 'birds and bees' came out of Tsunade's mouth, instantly jumped back about a foot, holding up an index finger to silence the talking woman. She sunk into the nearest chair when Tsunade closed her mouth and jammed her elbows into the arm rests, "I know about that. I meant, why me? Why not the pink-haired weirdo?"
Tsunade folded her still-sock incased hands on top of her stomach and leaned back as far as the chair would allow, "Well, I had absolutely no idea you were sexually active…"
Tayuya make this microscopic tooth-sucking noise, propping her chin on her left palm.
"So, who, exactly, is the father?" Tsunade prodded, obviously amused, "Shikamaru Nara or Neji Hyuuga or maybe Kiba-"
"The pineapple head is married to the Sand bitch who tried to kill me, I'm pretty sure the transvestite is in love with his cousin, and don't even think I'd go anywhere near the dog," Tayuya ticked the reasons off on her fingers, "So, no."
"Who does that leave?" Tsunade scanned over her mental list. Most of the names led to disturbing mental pictures. She shook her head as an image of Tayuya and Chouji entered her mind, "Come on, if you don't tell me, I could just do a gene test to see for myself."
Tayuya groaned loudly, "Here's a hint, I put him in the hospital about six weeks ago…"
"Naru-Naruto?" Tsunade choked for a second and then burst out giggling, "The idiot k-knocked you up?"
Tayuya shrugged her shoulders, "I'm just as surprised as you are. Do I have to tell the retard?"
Tsunade pulled the socks off her hands and hit a button on the intercom, "Hey, Yuki, can you send up Naruto Uzimaki?"
Tayuya crossed her arms. "I don't have a choice?"
"Yeah, didn't think so," Tayuya turned her head to face the wallpaper just as Naruto walked in the door.
He sat in the other chair with a tense posture, "Why'd you want me to come up here, Granny?"
Tayuya didn't not like the way this would go.
I wrote this as a compainion to 'hangover', or, Tayuya's talk with Tsunade. I haven't posted on this story for almost a month (which I apologize for) and I want to say that the child will be a girl. I'm still looking for names, if you have any ideas, contact me. (anyway you want, either pm or reveiw).