Disclaimer I think that if I owned Naruto, I would've already created the spin-off show, Sasuke In Charge. Oh wait - isn't that Shuppiden? My bad.
A/N Auuuugh. N'stuff. Born from my own restless afternoon and the fact that I adore writing dialogue between these two.
Pink strands of hair fluttered before her eyes, briefly and only partially interrupting her view of the window. She wasn't even looking out of the window. Rather, she was looking at the window itself. The only things to be seen outside were people. People doing something. And as she was not doing anything, she certainly wasn't going to watch anyone else enjoy themselves. That was masochistic.
Although one could argue that lying around her apartment staring at a glorified hole in the wall wasn't much better.
Sakura sighed, scratching her forearm even though it didn't really itch. Her bangs whirled into her eyes again. Damned ceiling fan she thought caustically. It was terrible how quickly this day had been reduced to nothing. Lolling her head to the other side, she glimpsed her alarm clock. 4:42 PM.
"It still feels like noon," she muttered. "I hate Sund--"
The shrill ring of the telephone was almost so foreign it startled her. Who used a telephone anymore? Sometimes Naruto did, just to annoy her.
Sakura sat up with a groan and rolled off her bed, stumbling as her feet hit the floor. "I'm coming! God." Relishing the hope that it was indeed her former teammate, she grabbed the phone from its cradle and hit the Talk button. "Hello?"
"Hello! This is an automated greeting from... Kaname Fushiro's office... reminding... Sakuya Haruto... of her previously scheduled appointment on the... twenty-third of January... If you would like to confirm this appointment, press 1. If you would like to reschedule this appo---"
What kind of psychiatrist didn't even get your name right? Was that supposed to be a mind-game? A little pre-visit excitement for her synapses?
Sakura selected 1 and dropped the phone onto her sofa, staring around the room and contemplating suicide. It was days like these that really tested her patience with humanity. God, what she wouldn't give for a mission right now. But they were few and far between, and hardly any of them were more than B-rank. The whole point of being a ninja was so that she didn't have to get a day job.
Yet there she was, day-in and day-out, removing tonsils or delivering babies at the hospital with Tsunade. Especially with Shizune running off and getting herself knocked-up. Ohh, if she ever got her hands on that troublesome ex-sensei of hers. What had they been thinking, anyway? Shizune had admitted it was slightly pre-meditated. Heaven only knew how much tequila went into that one.
Sakura smiled despite herself. That was a vice she and Shizune had both picked up from Tsunade. Working long hours? Have a shot of tequila. Finished filing all of your medical reports? Celebrate with some tequila! Stubbed your toe? Tequila!
It was a crying shame that Naruto and Sasuke had finished the rest of hers off four days ago in some egofest version of Halo III. At least it had been something remotely legitimate as a contest. Nothing like, 'Who-can-eat-the-most-rice-balls-in-five-minutes?' or the more famous 'Who-can-make-it-across-Konoha-and-back-the-fastest?'. The latter had ended with Naruto belly-up in the Nara family pool. Poor Shikamaru hadn't seen it coming and that inflatable raft never stood a chance.
Nothing to do and no tequila to do nothing with.
The pink-haired kunoichi sat on the edge of a sofa cushion next to her phone, arms crossed, eyes glued to nothing and everything at the same time. The shelves needed dusting on the entertainment console. She was out of more than tequila in the kitchen, and whatever was in the fridge had taken up growling when she suggested dinner to it. The boys had finished all of that off, too.
"Who the hell do they think they are, anyway?" she muttered, glaring at her shoe-shorn, sockless feet. "Jacking up my apartment and leaving it that way every other night... If they were home, I'd..." Suddenly clarity hit her thoughts like a live wire to a synchronized swimming team: one of them was home, as of today, ETA of 4:30 PM .
Sakura grabbed the phone beside her and punched in the number for Tsunade's office. Twice. The first time she got a little hasty and hit the eight instead of the five. Seldom usage of the communication device was obviously to blame. Not excitement. Certainly not.
"Hello, Tsuande's office, Shizune speaking."
"Shizune, it's Sakura."
"Oh, hi Sakura! Oh my gosh, the baby has been kicking non-stop for the past twenty minutes! And I just can't stop throwing up! I have never felt so damned ill in my life, and do you know what else?"
"Its no-good, stupid-ass father can't even be bothered to go and buy some salmon. I have wanted salmon all day, and all he can say is, 'But you're allergic to fish and you don't even know what it tastes like!' What kind of excuse is th--"
Shizune's voice became somewhat farther away as said "stupid-ass" took over the phone. "Sakura? Did you need something?"
"I was just wondering if Sasuke was back from his mission yet. Any idea?"
"I was talking to her firsssttt!!" Shizune wailed in the background. "You are so cruel!"
"Yes, I believe the Hokage's finishing up with his injuries right now." Kakashi sounded oblivious to the hormonally-charged woman ranting beside him.
Injuries? Sasuke? "Were they severe?"
A beat of silence passed followed by a hiccupping sob.
"I really need to go, Sakura."
"I can tell. Buy her imitation crab meat, Kakashi-sensei. It's in the same taste spectrum."
He sighed. "It's made of various types of actual fish. Otherwise, I would've done so already."
"Try the whole foods market? Organic? Tofu?"
"Maybe I'll drag--err, escort her down there. See if we can find something else that suits her fancy."
Shizune sobbed a "Really? I love you so much, I really really do and I--"
Sakura hung up and stared at the phone in her hands for a minute. If it wasn't so awkward that her former sensei was shacking up with her current sensei's other apprentice, it would've been cute.
Pushing herself off the couch and running through her one-bedroom apartment, Sakura grabbed a fresh shirt and pants, ran a brush through her hair and another over her teeth, and hopped into a pair of shoes without tying them. Scooping up her keys from the table, she slipped on a jacket and walked out into the chill. The sky was cloudy and the wind was only moderate, but the temperature was also hovering around the 45 degree mark.
Sasuke was either at his apartment or en route by now. Sakura shivered and hugged herself, laughing a little at her hastiness. Despite all the years of childhood daydreams about being Mrs. Sasuke Uchiha, the tribulations surrounding his defection to - and return from - Sound, she still got a little jumpy at the thought of seeing him. It had been two years already since he and Naruto had quietly walked across the border into Fire, beginning what was shaping up to be some of the best times of her life.
It wasn't as if he'd changed more than either she or Naruto; it was just that he'd dropped a few thousand pounds of weight from his shoulders. At the very least, when he glared off into the distance, they knew he wasn't contemplating revenge or reliving nightmares from his past.
Fueled by the desire to beat him there, she leapt onto a balcony, carefully avoiding the lines of drying clothes. From there, she traipsed across the rooftops until she reached his apartment. Sakura grabbed the edge of the roof and swung down to his breezeway. There she paused, listening for sounds of movement within. After a moment, she heard what sounded like a drawer closing.
"Hey, Sasuke!" She rapped on his door until he opened it, shirtless and annoyed. "Hey, I just wanted to see you."
"Sakura... I just got back."
"I know, I called up Tsunade. I got a very pissed Shizune instead. She's gonna rip Kakashi a new one soon, you know that?"
Sasuke stared at her as if he wasn't catching a thing she was saying. Sakura made a face and shifted her weight back and forth.
"C'mon, Sasuke. It's freezing. I've been losing my mind all day. I need company."
He wasn't relenting. "Go see Ino."
"I hate her."
"No, you don't."
"How do you know? She could've totally murdered my mom last night."
With a subdued growl, the Uchiha turned and stalked back into his apartment, leaving the door wide open. Sakura grinned and followed him inside, closing the door by resting all of her weight on it. He was already back in his room, going through more drawers. She made herself busy ransacking the fridge until she heard something that sounded more like the dresser being slammed into the wall than a drawer into the dresser.
Sakura walked quickly to his room, only pausing for a second by the door before peeking around the frame. Sasuke was propped up against the wall, clutching his upper right arm and glaring at her.
"What?" he snapped.
"What yourself!" She crossed the ground between them and knelt, reaching out to take his arm. "Did Tsunade miss something? Let me see? Oh, don't give me that look! For Christ's sake, Sasuke, I'm a medic."
"You're so damn nosy," he muttered as he reluctantly let her examine him. "I just pulled it."
"Which totally explains the blood."
He didn't reply. Instead he rested his head back against the wall and scowled. Sakura crawled closer and wedged herself between him and the dresser, pushing him forward enough for her to see his shoulder as well. The lights were off, but the gray illumination from the window was sufficient.
"You did pull it, but it looks like someone was trying to sever your arm... I can see where Tsunade worked on it, but this looks like she only gave you a temporary fix. Or she half-assed it." Her green eyes floated up to his, inquiring.
"It wasn't life-threatening, but her damned assistant is. Kakashi shoved in there with her and started demanding synthetic seafood. I wasn't in the mood for it, so I left."
"And then you came home and decided to slam stuff around so you could undo any possible healing you got?"
He rolled his eyes.
"You men, I swear. You wouldn't live a day without us," she chided, running her palms and fingertips alternatingly over his arm. For the first time that day, her hands were warm, both from chakra and his skin. Sakura smiled. "So do you think it's going to be a boy or a girl?"
Sasuke watched her work. He'd admitted to her once that he couldn't fathom ever doing such a tedious job on other human beings, but he'd always wanted some basic medic skills for himself. "Who cares?"
"Well, think about it. Imagine Kakashi with a daughter equally as neurotic as Shizune."
He snorted quietly.
Sakura slid her thumb over a bruise on his neck, wiping it off as if it were merely dirt. "Like I said, though, all of you strong, stupid-ass men would be dead without us around."
She paused to shoot him a dry look. "Oh, really? How so?"
"No one would ever be in Shizune's position. You'd die out."
"Pshaw! We'd find a way. We'd just preserve a bunch of DNA from you men before we sent you into exile, and then we'd make test-tube babies. Simple."
"And that's preferable?"
Sakura laughed, wondering if it was easier to focus on his skin or his eyes now that they were talking about sex. Brilliant. "Now, I didn't say that. I was just saying that if we ever decided to claim our throne as your superiors, we women would definitely survive. I mean, hell, there were lesbians making out at the laundromat yesterday and no one even said anything. It's come such a long wa--"
"So are you telling me you're a lesbian?"
She looked at him sharply, "No! I wasn't... saying... ugh." Sakura narrowed her eyes at his smirk. How could she possibly be interested in other women when it was all she could do to keep from jumping him right then? Propped up against the wall, lean and muscular, that perfectly masculine jaw contrasted to his defined cheekbones. Messy, black hair. Wickedly amused eyes...
The pink-haired kunoichi made a sound more akin to a dog whining for a treat than to a human girl. Sasuke had the audacity to almost know why.
"You've already fixed that," he stated quietly, indicating his arm with his words but never breaking their eye contact.
"Is that..." Sakura swallowed, finding herself sinking further into his side. "Is that all you, uhm... that you sustained?"
Sasuke wasn't moving away. Or answering, but neither of them could even remember what she'd just asked. He wasn't moving forward, but he wasn't backing down. The sudden change in the atmosphere was a little disorienting. Sure, they'd had their moments in the past two years. It was only natural. Just three months ago on a misson, he'd shoved her up against a wall and kissed her senseless, all because he'd momentraily mistaken the dead girl in the other room for her.
But that was different. There were no dead bodies here, and no excuses for it other than blatant attraction. Naruto wasn't exactly going to burst in at any moment and stop them, either.
Her forehead met his shyly and he finally moved, angling his face slightly as hers moved down his. She brushed the tip of her nose over the bridge of his own, over his cheek. Her hands slid from his arm to his chest... Sasuke closed his eyes and the distance between them, kissing her bottom lip briefly before she parted her own and sank completely against him.
One of Sasuke's hands slid suddenly up her left arm, the other to the left side of her ribcage, as he lifted her up and braced her against the dresser with enough force to rattle the hardware. Sakura groaned in slight pain and pulled away, tilting her head back until the crown touched the dresser. He didn't seem to mind as he began trailing kisses down her jaw, exploring her neck with his mouth.
That had hurt, dammit, and he couldn't even bother to care... if... Sakura laughed breathlessly as his warm attentions to her ear rendered her thought process useless. "What is it with you and violent displays of affect--"
Sasuke lifted her, pressing their lips together again as he sat her on top of the dresser, her face just a few inches higher than his now. With her limbs finally free, Sakura ran her hands down his bare front and then back up to his face; she held his head still as she took control of the kiss. Sakura slid her fingertips slowly into his hairline, relishing the complete command she had over the soft noises he kept making into her mouth.
Tired of letting her lead, Sasuke slid her off the smooth edge of the dresser and fully into his arms. This time he laughed as she growled, frustrated at being forced to forfeit her control as she locked her legs around his waist. It didn't last long, however, as the absolute proximity of their bodies was starting to overwhlem the Uchiha. He pulled her tightly to him before transferring her weight to his bed.
Sakura opened her eyes and stared up at him breathlessly, one arm still around his neck and the other resting beside her head. His eyes were dark, a little apprehensive, and very apparently hungry. The dingy excuse for sunlight was only getting dimmer. And, gods, all he had on were his pants anyway. Sakura wound her hand into his hair and pulled his face down to hers for a kiss that erased any doubts either of them could have been having.
The last thing she registered with any clarity was her name being whispered into her ear.
"Sakura!" said Kunoichi turned halfway, staring at the very pregnant woman waddling down the hallway towards her. "Hold up!"
"You're waddling!" Sakura laughed, tucking some very pink hair behind her ear as she waited for Shizune.
"You can't run when you're with child, Sakura," the medic admonished once she'd reached her. "You'll find out soon enough."
Sakura blinked five times too many at her fellow apprentice. Shizune raised an eyebrow.
"You know... eventually... when you find the right guy..."
"OH. Oh! Yes, yes of course!" Sakura pulled down the hem of her tank top, noting how flat her stomach remained. Why in the hell would Shizune have meant anything else but that? No one knew what she and Sasuke had been up to last night. Christ.
"Sakura, is there something you aren't telling...?" the dark-haired woman inquired.
"No, not at--"
"Sakura's hiding what?" Tsunade came around the corner behind her. Naturally. She had just been on her way to get that stat chart from her.
"I'm not hiding anything!" Sakura said a little too loudly. Both women stared. "Look," she began again, quieter, "if I had a problem, I would definitely tell the both of you."
"So... it's not a problem." Tsunade stroked her chin. "But it's still a secret. What does your pregnant-woman's intuition tell you, Shizune?"
"Well," Shizune considered the past few minutes, "she did get a little defensive when I mentioned that she'd find a guy someday to settle down with."
"I did not get defensive!" Sakura knew she was digging herself deeper, but her mouth just wouldn't stop working. Her sensei was downright grinning now.
"Soooo, who's the stud, Sakura? Please tell me it isn't Naruto, because then I'd owe Hatake some money."
Sakura was momentarily thrown. "You bet Kakashi I wouldn't get involved with Naruto? Wait... Kakashi bet I would?!"
"I bet what?" The devil himself appeared in the hallway next to his girlfriend, instinctively placing a hand on her back.
"That Sakura would shack up with one of her former teammates."
"Oh, yes, that."
The youngest kunoichi present stared at the three of them incredulously. How long had they been putting money on her future relationships? "How long have you been putting money on my future relationships?!"
"Let's see... you're 19 now, so about... six years? Seven?" Shizune looked up at Kakashi for verification.
"Around that." He shrugged. "So are you seeing Naruto, Sakura?"
"No! I am certainly not! And it is none of your business who I am seeing!" She clapped a hand over her mouth.
Tsunade gleefully attacked her last statement. "So who is it---"
"Yes, Sakura, I do have money riding on this..."
"Are you pregnant, Sakura? Is that why you--"
"I slept with Sasuke last night, okay?" Sakura abruptly cut them off, unable to stand it anymore. "We had hot, amazing sex like that shit you read in those damned porn books, Kakshi. Only better! And not so... disgusting. And you know what? We're probably going to do it again tonight, if I have anything to say about it! So just... just give me that!" She wrenched the stat chart away from Tsuande and stormed around the corner.
After a few moments of listening to her fading footsteps, Kakashi turned to Tsuande and held out his hand. "I do believe you owe me a substantial amount of money, Lady Hokage."
End A/N I think that's about as close as I've ever gotten to writing something really dirty. xD I could think of worse ways to use my time.