CHAPTER ONE

Author's Note: Wrote this one night because my other story, At Heaven's Gate, got too depressing, and like, yeah. If I ever write another really depressing story, I'll probably write a few chapters on this... Anyways, on to the randomness!!! This is meant to be random, sorry if it doesn't make ANY sense at all, if it's funny, then, yay, I wrote a funny story!!! Yay!!! Also, this story is like, plot-less; imagine those TV shows where the episodes have nothing to do with each other. Wow, long author's note! Ooh, and all the characters beside Edward are going to be a bit OOC


?!Biology!?

Bella: I'm getting bored to death... save me Eddie!!!

Edward: And what have I said about that name...?

Bella: Um...

Bella: You didn't say anything

Edward: Oh

Bella: CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES!!!

Edward: -silence-

Alice: Hey guys!

Bella: Kiwis are sparkly

Edward: This is why I don't let you have caffeine

Alice: Oh yeah?! Watermelons are round!

Bella: -giggles- did you know that oranges are –giggles- ORANGE?!

Edward: Bella, love, the teacher's getting suspicious

Bella: Mister Pumpkin-Head is big!

Edward: Oh... kay...?

Alice: The teacher's falling asleep

Mike: Hey, what are you guys doing?

Bella: Ahh!!! It's the vile Mike Newton! –runs away-

Mike: You're still there

Alice: And Newton states the obvious! Gasp... we said something intelligent! Congratz, Bella!

Bella: Everybody do the MACARENA!!!

Edward: If you start always acting like this in the morning... maybe I shouldn't come over every night... but you're so cute when you sleep...

Bella: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU MUST!!!

Edward: At least stop drinking all that coffee... I think you may need therapy soon, Bella

Mike: AHH!!!! CULLEN'S A STALKER!!!

Bella: He's my stalker! You cannot have my stalker! GRR...

Mike: Okay... like, ew... not EVEN

Bella: GABAFALAGOOGERLEEFOOBERS!!!

Alice: Quit writing in capitals, Bella, you're taking up all the space on the page! You are wasting paper... cutting down trees! You are contributing to global warming! Ahh!

Edward: Bella can write however she wants!

Mike: Bella can defend herself, shut up Cullen

Bella: Number one, I don't want to, Eddie trying to defend me against the wrath of the Alice is so cute... number two... uh...

Alice: We'll get back to you. Now, do you guys want to go shopping after school?

Mike: Ooh, ooh! I do! I do! Pick me! Pick me! –waves hand around in midair—

Alice: Shut up Newton I wasn't asking you, and in case you think of asking, I'm going out with Jazzy

Mike: Jazzy? Ew... you have pet names for each other too?!

Alice: Yep! I'm Bob!

Bella: Eddie, they keep stealing the paper! That makes me sad!

Edward: Bella...

Bella: Edward...

Alice: Jazzy...

Mike: uh...

Bella: GASP! I know! Let's go rubber duck-ing!

Edward: Rubber duck-ing?

Bella: Doi, Eddie

Alice: I don't get it

Mike: Join the club

Bella: You guys have a club?!

Edward: That is it, Bella, I am hereby forbidding you to buy, drink, look at, stare at, utter the word, and breathe in coffee!

Bella: I want a muffin

Edward: I'll get you one at lunch

Bella: But I want a muffin NOW!

Alice: Ooh! I want a muffin, too!

Edward: You don't even eat muffins, Alice!

Mike: Oh my god!!! How can you survive without the almighty MUFFIN?!

-silence-

Bella: uh...

Mike: What? I like muffins

Alice: That I can tell

Edward: Are we all done and finished now? Again, I repeat, the teacher is getting suspicious

Bella: Fine, be a spoil potato, Eddie!

Edward: Don't you mean a spoilsport?

Bella: Potato... that's funny word!

Alice: Oh. My. God. You're right! Potato is a funny word!

Bella: Doi


"Mr. Cullen, may I ask what that is?" the teacher asked.

Luckily, in super duper vampire speed, Edward had written down the entire contents of the teacher's lecture. I was SHOCKED. I mean, I knew Edward could write fast, but the ability to write down such a boring speech... I am still wordless.

"These?" Edward asked, gesturing to the piece of paper.

Mike, being the weasel he is, snuck up behind me, and very subtly asked, "Do you want to go out with me Friday night?"

"No I do no! Ugh! Like, French fries are crispy! Gah!"