This is a one shot about Hugh Islands and Arthur Hellsing simply being together. I imgaine when drunk things go awry. They both regret their younger days I'm sure. No doubt that stain as well...

Disclaimer: Hellsing and related characters are property of their repected author.


Celebration. Arthur and Hugh were celebrating the return of their glorious men, er, boy and vampire girl. Arthur took his glass and knocked it against Hugh Islands' glass. It sloshed. Hugh adjusted his glasses, a bit drunk from the earlier drinking they had already done. Arthur had known, Hugh had not. Arthur had poured whiskey into the tea. Hugh, unfortunately, was celebrating without the consent of his own body.

Arthur downed his glass of beer, spilling it down his front and smiled huge at Islands. Hugh was not amused.

"You are disgusting. I guess you're lucky that Walter is coming home," Hugh smirked at Arthur and shook his head. "If he wasn't then you would die in this…in these conditions."

"Pfft," came Arthur's response to his friend. "I can survive without that boy."

"Wank," Hugh said and a silence descended upon the room. Even the mice eating their way through old food Arthur had left out went quiet. The clock may have even stopped. Arthur turned and looked at Hugh Islands.

"What did you call me?"

"A WANK," Hugh said louder than necessary.

"Yeah? Well, you're sloshing your beer everywhere," Arthur pointed to the carpet and the stain that was indeed forming on the floor before Hugh's feet. "STAIN!"

"Fuck, you're a wank! I am not sloshing," Hugh said and sloshed. "Most of it's yours."

"Fuck you, you bloody plonker. That's a fucking stain and it's your fault!" Arthur said and turned on his heel. He stepped into the hallway and shouted. "WALTER! WALTER! HUGH MADE A STAIN!"

No response came from Walter whom was somewhere in Warsaw at that moment. Arthur became disgruntled by the fact that his butler did not come running.

"He's out, remember?" Came Hugh from the room. "You sent him out to Warsaw."

"Fuck. Yes, I did," Arthur grumbled and came back into the room looking the stain. "Well, how do we clean up this?"

"A towel?"

"Yes," Arthur said and stepped out for only a moment, before returning with a towel. He threw it on the wet splotch and began scrubbing at it. Hugh stood up and started screaming.

"NO NO! NO!" He shouted at Arthur who only managed to look puzzled. "Don't rub it you wank!"

"For Christ's sake, Hugh," Arthur said and made a face. "Then you do it!"

Hugh showed Arthur very carefully how to properly clean a stain. When he looked up he found that Arthur had simply laid down on the couch and gone to sleep. Hugh looked at him, rage boiling up inside him but instead he climbed onto the couch as well and went to sleep.

In the morning, when Walter returned he saw the two men sleeping on the couch and rolled his eyes, deciding that they needed him more than anything and that he probably shouldn't leave again for a very long time.