Look at the stars

Look how they shine for you

And everything you do

Yeah, they were all yellow

I'm nervous. I'm not quite sure why, but I just have these nervous feelings coursing through my veins, and they just won't quit. Why am I nervous? After all, I've had long enough to decide whether I want to do this. And I know that I do. It's not like I feel like I have to; that I'm being pressured into it. I want to. I do. Plus, nobody else knows I've even been thinking about it. Not my brother. Not my parents. Not her. Nobody. Only me. Who could have pressurized me?

Okay, not helping. Just... don't think about the fact that you're nervous. She isn't even here yet; why worry? You have plenty of time to figure out what you're going to say to make it sound appealing. Not that... it shouldn't be appealing already. Because really, it should be. Well, it's appealing to me, isn't it? So why wouldn't it appeal to her? It should. It will. Hopefully.

The sea slides up the beach and barely reaches my feet, merely tickling the tips of my shoes with water, and then retreating. Usually the sea calms me, but I have a feeling that nothing is going to calm me right now. Not taking deep breaths, or closing my eyes, or doing any of that whacko meditating stuff that my boss is always trying to encourage. I wonder if being this nervous is normal. I can't really ask anyone about it right now anyway, can I? This beach is deserted. Nobody here whatsoever.


She's here.

I hadn't even heard her car pull up, nor heard her walking down the stony upper half of the beach. Funny really, I notice her while she's walking down the quietest part of the beach.

The nerves subsided for a few seconds as I admired her, just like I did every time she stepped into my line of vision. And sometimes even when she wasn't in my line of vision. When I thought about her, which I did quite a lot...

She smiled at me as she walked down the beach, her smile lighting up her face and (but probably not literally, though it seemed that way) the dark night. Just like stars do. Break up the black canvas that is the night sky, and decorate it with little glowing orbs. She was my star. Not that I'd ever say that to her, because chances are, I'd get a punch in the arm and an accusation of being overly cheesy thrown my way.

I came along,

I wrote a song for you,

And all the things you do,

And it was called "Yellow"

Sometimes I wonder what the hell she sees in me. Once I actually asked her, just to see what she'd say. She rolled her eyes and told me to stop being so modest. After that I didn't ask her again, though I still wonder it sometimes. When I look at her and she completely takes my breath away, the thought will enter into my head. And then I'll tell myself to stop thinking about why, and just be grateful that she is.

She's closer to me now, and I can see her eyes sparkling - out of curiosity maybe? All I told her was to meet me at the beach because I wanted to talk to her. If I didn't know what I wanted to talk to her about, then I'd be curious with me too. But I do, so I'm not curious at all. Just nervous as hell.

I knew that the nerves were finally getting to me when I realised that it looked like she was walking toward me in slow motion. That was when I knew that the nerves were beyond control, and that I was either going to have to do this really soon and get it over with, or I was going to have to chicken out and leave it for another day. Another time. Another place.

So then I took my turn,

Oh what a thing to have done,

And it was all yellow


The word was monosyllabic, but it stretched out in the darkness in front of me like it was so much longer. Another symptom of the nerves? I don't know, but I had to remind myself to reply.


I hadn't meant for this moment to be so incredibly awkward. Onlookers would have assumed that we were old friends who hadn't seen each other in years, or that we had been through something terrible and that this meeting was part of the aftermath.

Obviously she sensed my awkwardness too, because a flicker of worry appeared in those eyes that I had lost myself in many a time. And I guess that flicker of worry kick-started me into action, temporarily dispensing the nerves so that I could make this situation better.

Your skin,

Oh yeah your skin and bones,

Turn into something beautiful,

You know, you know I love you so,

You know I love you so

"How was work?"

It was lame, and she didn't buy my sudden chatty attitude, but at least it got rid of the worry. The fear was replaced with suspicion. But that was okay. Suspicion I could deal with.

She shrugged slightly. "Same old, same old. Nothing out of the ordinary occurred, and as always, I'm extremely grateful that tomorrow is Friday..." The rest of her sentence trailed off as she watched me, and I could tell that she was wondering why she was here. Why I'd asked her to meet me here. Usually I would have just gone to her work to pick her up, or gone to her house.

But today wasn't like usual. In fact, it was anything but.

"What about your day?" she asked, probably wanting to unpick my answer for any clues as to what was wrong with me.

Nonchalantly, I shrugged and put my hands in my jacket pockets; my fingers clasping around the contents of one of them. "Like yours really. Not much happened."

I swam across,

I jumped across for you,

Oh what a thing to do,

Cause you were all yellow

She wasn't satisfied with this answer, I could tell, and the nerves were slowly bubbling back up again. They wouldn't go away until I'd done it, I knew that much. Even if I chickened out and left it until a later date, the knowledge that I had to would forever be lingering in my mind.

Not that I did have to. I knew that. Nobody was telling me to do this. It had been my decision. I wanted to. But that didn't make me any less nervous. That didn't make me any less unsure of what would happen after I'd done it.

The waves swept up the sand again, this time brushing against two pairs of shoes instead of only one. Again, the water failed to calm me, and I knew that it was now or never.

I drew a line,

I drew a line for you,

Oh what a thing to do,

And it was all yellow

Crouching down to the ground, I tried to hold it off for a few more minutes, while I kept my cool. I could feel her gaze cutting into my skin as she asked herself what the hell I was doing. When she didn't come up with a logical answer, she cut into the atmosphere with the words. "What are you doing?"

"Writing our names. I always do that when I go to the beach," I said, as I took one hand out of my pocket and pressed my fingertip into the wet sand and began imprinting the letters into it.

"No you don't," she replied, but I could sense the smile on her face as she spoke.

Smiling was good. Smiling was definitely good. And it gave me a little bit of much-needed confidence. Okay.

Your skin,

Oh yeah your skin and bones,

Turn into something beautiful,

And you know,

For you I'd bleed myself dry,

For you I'd bleed myself dry

Looking up at her, I knew that it was now. Now was the time. "Actually, I wanted to ask you something. Which... is why you're here. Well, actually, you're here because you wanted to know why I'd asked you here, but that isn't the point. I asked you here because when you got here, I wanted to ask you something. And... you're here now."

I heard the words after they'd been released from my lips, and couldn't make myself stop rambling. It was as though my nerves were conspiring to ruin this for me, and had turned me into a rambling idiot. Not just an idiot. A rambling one.

Sensing that she just had to let me keep talking and that I'd get to the point eventually, she just looked down at me, waiting for me to ask what I'd been wanting to ask. At least, I think that's what she was waiting for. She could have been waiting for something else altogether.

"Okay. Well, I just want to let you know that you're amazing. And I wanted to tell you that I'd do absolutely anything for you. Anything."

Well it seemed that I was slowly getting to the point, so maybe the nerves were just making the moment last longer than it had to.

"You're just amazing. And I just watched you walking down that beach and - I know you're not the biggest fan of that cheesy crap - but I just noted how you seemed to light up the night. Like a star. You're my star. And I'm not sure what I'm saying anymore, so I'll just cut to the point, shall I?"

I could still see a hint of suspicion in her eye, along with curiosity and another emotion that I couldn't quite identify. God, I hope it isn't anger. Or amusement. But now that I've started... may as well carry on.

"Anyway. After all of that cheesy stuff, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love you. I love you. And even though I'm not sure of your reasoning behind it, you seem to love me too. Which brings me to..."

Breathe. Keep breathing. This is it. And then it's all over. Unless... no. Don't even entertain that possibility. Unless it happens. Don't even think about it unless it actually happens.

Taking the other hand out of my pocket, bringing the contents with it, I looked up at her. The suspicion was gone, as was the curiosity, and I knew that she knew what was coming next.

"Lilly Truscott... will you marry me?"

It's true,

Look how they shine for you,

Look how they shine for you,

Look how they shine for

Seconds passed like years. I'm not sure how long I looked at her and she looked back, but it couldn't have been more than ten seconds. Ten seconds in which my heart stopped beating totally, and I didn't breathe.

Her face was indecipherable, and I had no idea how she'd reply. At this point, it could go either way.

God, I hope it goes the right way.

I hope it goes the right way.

I hope to God it goes the right way.

Look how they shine for you,

Look how they shine for you,

Look how they shine...

Finally, she opened her mouth and made a sound that I can't even describe. Still it gave nothing away, and it was only when she dropped down on the wet sand beside me that her facial expression changed at all.

"Oliver..." Pulling me closer, and snaking her hands around my neck, she nodded. Just nodded.

It was all I needed to see.

She said yes. She'd said yes. Lilly was going to marry me.

Look at the stars,

Look how they shine for you,

And all the things that you do

My star.

So I'm still at my friend's house, but this took me less than 45 minutes to write and although it's not especially great, I feel like posting it. So I shall. Everyone who wanted the Miley/Oliver auditions for Teenage Kicks, I'll e-mail them to you as soon as I get home. Promise. :)