Disclaimer: Pshh, girl. (snaps fingers) Don' you know I don own this shizzle by now. Gawd. You need yo earsss checked. Gangster impersonation… or how I really speak? You decide.
Oh. Wow. Sure feels odd to be posting on here again. I just decided I'd post some outtakes. Stuff that I wrote before I actually got there, but then decided to tornado-change the direction of the plot, and well, it was ditched. Thundercats ago! Once again, thank you, and a septillion rounds of applause to all my reviewers. 1481! Jesus, that's a lot. No really Jesus. I did not use your name in vain. I'm honestly thanking you right now, and of course all yu'uns who clicked that little blue button. Anyway, enjoy the show. Now presenting…
Rose Thorn Outtakes – Cut, Scene 1
Kay. In the first story I had planned, Edward took Bella on a honeymoon in Chille, and then told her that he was going to war there, before hopping on a plane, without her, back to Forks.
He ran – and ran and ran. Wherever we were going, he was either taking the long way, or I was going to get a first hand account of what Argentina looked like. I didn't mind, though. It was thrilling. The wind rushing past me woke every cell in my body.
The world around danced by in blurs and smudges. I could have sworn we had passed several smudges at least twice.
Now, I could feel Edward's pace slowing. I lifted my face from his shoulder, eager to see this mystery destination.
When I did though, my brows furrowed and I tilted my head to the side. "Edward, why are we at an airport?"
He didn't answer. That was worrisome. I didn't like airports at the moment. They had the potential to separate me from this slice of honeymoon heaven we had created here, but as long as Edward was with me, I guess that was okay.
We had reached the runway now. He lowered me from his back and turned to look at me. My ears rang when a small plane started its propellers and lifted off.
An unacceptable emotion was playing in Edward's eyes. Unfathomable sorrow.
I didn't understand. Or maybe I did, but I just didn't want to accept it yet. Skillfully, I blocked the rational side of my mind. The roar of the plane was just a dim buzz now.
"Edward?" I questioned, reaching up to brush my fingers across his face.
Swiftly, faster than my eyes could catch, he captured my hand and gently kissed each of my fingertips, one-by-one.
I narrowed my eyes at him skeptically. "What's going on?"
"I want you to have this," he replied. Then, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small wooden box. A crimson ribbon was tied around it, holding a note securely in place on the lid.
"You brought me to an airport so you could give me a gift?" I asked. "You know I hate…"
I was planning on reminding him for the umpteenth time on how much I hated presents exactly, but that same despair I saw in his orbs earlier increased tenfold, and I stopped.
"What's wrong?" I demanded. "What are you doing?"
"Bella, I love you. I love you so much." His eyes bored into mine. The way he had said that. It wasn't like the way he normally told me. There was a different meaning tacked on to his words. Between the lines, he was saying goodbye.
"You're scaring me," I told him. And he was, more than he ever had, in fact. Because he was frightened…of me.
"Bella…" he started hesitantly, "I can't sit this one out." As the words fell from his lips, he cringed. Like they had pained him to say.
The pain I felt was overwhelming. It was the kind of pain that knocks the ground underneath your feet clean away. The kind that punches you in the gut and cuts your knees out from under you. The kind that shatters your heart.
Edward was going to war.
Rose Thorn Outtakes – Cut, Scene 2
This next bit is a part where Bella explains her love for Edward to her mom when Renee tries to talk her out of matrimony.
"He's my drug. I need him more than anything else," I yelled at her.
Renee just shook her head, "That's what they all say. It ends up in ruin, and anyways, it sounds unhealthy." A worried look rested in her eyes.
Aggravated, I groaned. Then, the lightning struck, and a smile touched my lips. "It's true love. It's not supposed to be healthy," I retorted, then paced back and forth the length of the couch, "I think that real, true love…isn't the pure, white, frilly stuff you see in the movies. I think it consumes you. Owns you. Controls you." My mom looked startled. I turned my desperate eyes on her and continued, "It isn't supposed to be healthy. I'd give my life for him in a second," I told her, throwing my hands in the air, "Surely, that isn't healthy, but it is love."
Renee was sitting on the edge of the couch, probably ready to rise and knock some sense in my head. Her mouth was open for a response, but I spoke first.
"We are each other. Without him, I'm lost…I don't know, like part of me was missing, but I didn't know it till he came into my life." Renee was telling me something, but I didn't heed her, caught up in the bliss of my epiphany. "With him, I can do anything. Move mountains, all that other clichéd stuff. It's like we're the same soul. If he left me, I'd always want him to the point where I'd eventually go mad." I laughed a little.
Glancing over to the couch, I noted that my mother was not sitting on it.
No, for she was standing right in front of me. Her hands grabbed my arms and spun me around.
Immediately, the blood rushed to my cheeks. There he was, my drug, leaning against the door frame, one hand above his head gripping the wood. He looked glorious. The depth in his topaz eyes was unfathomable. And intense. And loving. And full to the brim with countless other emotions that made me weak in the knees.
He pushed himself off and slowly began walking towards me, approaching with the calm, measured pace of a predator. I wanted this to speed up. I wanted to throw myself at him, but my temporarily crippled joints prevented it.
When he was near enough, he reached up and placed both his palms on my cheeks. "I'll never leave you," he said, placing one kiss on my forehead.
The words singed, and I burned – in a good way.
:"Ever." He kissed my nose.
"Ever." His lips fell to both my eyelids.
"Ever!" he finished, tilting my head down so that he could kiss the crown of my head.
"You, Isabella Swan," he said, giving me a shake, "are my soul."
His frigid arms wrapped around me, and he crushed me to him, and yet, I was smoldering.
Rose Thorns Outtakes – Cut, Scene 3
I wrote the part where Bella said goodbye to Charlie WAYYY back in the day. Originally, the potion DID work and Charlie came back to life. However, the Fates came back insisting that someone die in his place. Bella tried to take his place, but then Edward and Jacob vied for it. Anyway, Charlie eventually dies again for them, but not before saying "I'll see you again." It's pretty much the same except for the Charlie bit. Roll film.
I'd hung around Immortality for so long that I'd nearly forgotten death existed for other people, that it would go on without me after I changed. For all my efforts, I couldn't stop it. And I was about to become frozen in the middle of its interminable flow, like a concrete island in the middle of the river, ever to remain as I was. Or was that really the truth…
I'll see you again. Charlie's words still hung in the air. He'd acted like he had known Edward's secret, and still he'd said that. So, maybe we weren't freezing. Maybe we were just slowing, putting on the breaks.
But it was a downhill journey. The breaks couldn't hold out forever.
"Bella." A cold hand squeezed my shoulder.
I'd see Charlie and Renee. I'd reunite with my grandparents, Angela, Ben, Jessica, Mike…
"We should go."
Edward would see his family in the very end. An inexplicable smile alit on my lips.
"We really should be leaving, love…"
So what if it took a few millennia to get there. I glanced at Edward's worried orbs for once. The wait would be incredible.
And I supposed that the inbetween, the meanwhile, the twilight time between the day and the night – that was what really mattered.
"Edward?" I addressed him at last, "Could you type something for me?"
Rose Thorns Outtakes - Cut, Scene 4
I did write this one little bit about Bella winning a tequila drinking contest in Mexico. Here's what she told Edward later: "I won a tequila drinking contest in mexico. Do you even know how drunk you have to be to win those things. They're really rigged. If you do win, you're either too washed up to recognize a 5 from a 50 or out cold. I don't remember. I don't remember anything at all actually, and I didn't ask questions."
Rose Thorns Outtakes – Cut, Scene 5
I had the Bella's-letter-to-herself idea long before I started writing any of this. Here is the original version.
It's done. Over…and at the same time, it's the beginning. I'm terrified that I might forget my human years, the years I fell in love with Edward. Now, I can't. I've been writing day and night for months, nearly flunking out of college, only stopping when Edward's cold hands pried my fingers from the keys.
I told him that it was almost finished. We moved to Alaska a few weeks ago in preparation for the change. It's strange to think, that this is the last thing I will type as a human. Every ounce of sweat, blood, and tears was worth it, though. I'll never forget now. I made Edward promise me that he would read it to me if I did.
I can hear him pacing now, in the other room. Today's the day.
I'm not afraid. I love him, and this is proof. In the bargain, I just happen to receive eternal bliss.
Rose Thorns Outtakes – Cut, Scene 6
The way I first wrote Bella finding Edward, dying, on the bed. Alice is involved. Not Carlisle. And Bella thinks he's dead. Over. Gone. Kind of sad, but we all know what happened.
Edward appeared to be sleeping.
It was gorgeous, earth-shattering. I collapsed onto the floor, and noted that sleep and death were cruelly similar.
Lying there on that bed, hands folded over his chest, he looked so much at peace, so relaxed. A small smile played on his lips. Stray hair that had framed his forehead was softly tickling the pillow. Finally, I thought, as the tears rolled down my cheeks, he had gotten that rest he had so longed for.
Alice came to my side and tried to heave me to my feet.
"Bella, you're jumping the gun," she said, giving me a shake. "He's not dead!"
I started. Not dead? Did she really just say that…no, she couldn't have. One look at his still form convinced me that my subconscious had summoned up Alice and her words to ease my pain.
"Bella, do you hear me?" she cried, "He's alive!"
Mirthless laughter escaped my lips. "Then why didn't he come for me."
"He was hurt…" she admitted, "but not fatally. He's, well, he's in some sort of coma."
Rose Thorns Outtakes – Cut, Scene 7
The first time I wrote that part about Bella going crazy, she realized the truth of the situation, that Edward really WAS Edward a lot sooner, and there was a lot of fluff and no sedatives involved. Have a look-see!
"You will not take yourself from me," he snarled in my ear.
Silent, angry tears rolled down my face. I clenched my hands to stop them from fighting. I wanted this over with.
"Don't be him," I pleaded with the monster, "Anybody but him. Just end it. Or if you're not going to end it, be anyone but Edward."
"Good God! What did he do to you?" said the thing that looked like my husband.
"Stop it!" I screamed. "You're not real!"
"I am real, Bella."
His hand rubbed my lower back. I twisted, trying to pry myself out of his grip. "I. Know. Now! Stop pretending!"
"But I am real."
I pulled back to look at him, his horrified ochre eyes urging me to believe him, and I did for a split second.
"Yes, sure you are," I said. "You're real right now, and then you'll disappear, and I'll fall onto needles again. Don't play tricks with me anymore!"
I was screaming at the top of my lungs and trembling violently.
"Bella?" someone called from the doorway.
"Not now, Alice," he told her.
I used his distraction to get away, and ran as far away from 'Edward' and 'Alice' as I could.
"She'll come through," Alice said.
Edward nodded solemnly before murmuring "Thank you".
I slunk down in the corner of the room, near what was illusioned to look like Edward's CD collection, and hugged my knees to my chest.
Alice threw me one pitying stare before dancing rather heavily out the door.
The imposter heaved a sigh and slowly approached me, caution written in his eyes, a look that reminded me of someone nearing a cornered wild animal. It was the look Edward would actually have on his face if I had acted this way in real life.
Maybe it was real… No. I shook my head and trembled harder. That was what he wanted me to think. After he had me, I'd just be hurt more, and I was sick of that.
"Stop," I said.
He did to my amazement…just like Edward really would do. Unfathomable grief practically oozed out of him.
"I don't know," he began, "how to begin to convince you that I am me. Maybe…"
He appeared to be struck with an idea, and then flew over to me. His lips came ever closer to mine. I shrunk away farther. "Not again," I muttered.
"He kissed you?"
"You kissed me."
I tried to remember the Fae's name again, but I couldn't dredge it up.
Edward pulled back. I didn't check his emotions. They would only push me further down into this trap.
I heard my husband's voice speak again. "Your favorite color changes from day to day. You love the way the sky melds with the land in Arizona. You stole my jacket so that you could smell me when I went hunting."
I shook harder and buried my head in my knees. A whole new torturous level had been added to the game. "Stop," I cried.
"You scrapbook sometimes, and you hate big parties and shopping." A note of hysteria had entered his voice. "Emmett bought you a stereo system for your Chevy truck on your eighteenth birthday, and you nearly got yourself electrocuted tearing it out because you find gifts of any sort absolutely insufferable."
I looked at him for the first time. He looked panicked and half-crazed. He fell to his knees and looked me square in the eye.
"Last night, Bella," he said, "I found you in the morgue. You have a gash across your right wrist and several other wounds. Carlisle and I arrived in time to stop the bleeding. Findabhair left moments before we got there, and try as Carlisle might, he couldn't summon him back. I'm so sorry for not being there to protect you. One second you were in my arms, and the next you weren't. Emmett called me, and we followed your scent to the morgue."
"Oh God…" I said. "You're really real."
Edward nodded slowly. I all but crawled over to where he was kneeling, wrapped my arms around his torso, and buried my face into his marble chest.
He picked me up and carried me over to the bed. Once he had arranged us to where we were both lying down on the white sheets, I covered him in kisses. I kissed him everywhere, his arms, his face, his neck, places I remember him groaning from. I practically worshiped him.
Finally, when my lips were skittering across his cheeks, he turned his head and grabbed my lips with his. Fingers laced. Legs intertwined. We couldn't get enough of each other.
I began to remove his shirt, wanting to do what my libido was virtually screaming for, but he stopped my hands with his.
"Not right now," he said.
"Why?" I moaned, pressing myself against him.
"Oh… way to kill a mood," I muttered.
"Later," he promised, "I'll make it up to you." The raw edge in his voice was hard to argue with.
I rolled off of him, and lay beside his cold body, my hand still gripping his for dear life. I saw the crown molding on his ceiling. It was something I'd never noticed before. Following the swirling patterns with my eyes put me into a sort of trance.
"Edward, why didn't you change me?" I asked after a while.
"When you found me, and I was bleeding to death. Why didn't you change me then?"
He shifted infinitesimally. I could tell he was nervous about the direction this conversation was headed.
"We still have a week left, Bella," he said soothingly.
"Too long," I replied, "The longer we wait, the more happens. My dad… died," I forced the word out, "and I nearly went crazy. That happened only yesterday. Change me now."
"No," he said.
I sat up in the bed, threw my legs over the side and walked away.
"Where are you going?" he asked.
"To get in a really, really, really bad car wreck," I explained, still walking towards the door. "Maybe wrap that Camaro around a tree or something."
As I expected, Edward moved with incredible speed to block my exit. He threw his arms out over the doorway and stood crouched.
"You'll do no such thing," he scolded. "Don't even joke about it."
"I wasn't joking," I said, although I'd never really do it. He just needed some incentive.
I put my hand on my hip and glared at him. His shirt was rumpled and his jeans were tight in his crouched position. I had to resist the urge to throw myself at him and say "Take me now".
Rose Thorns Outtakes – Cut, Scene 7
At one point, I decided to do snippets from Edward's point of view. This was as far as I got. Alice sees Bella get in a car wreck. Strange. I don't remember writing this at all, but I cleaned up my comp. and found it, so…
As I chased after her like a madman, for some reason, thoughts of angels kept swirling around in my mind.
Angels in bright, white robes singing or dancing or flying on wings with looks of pure freedom on their faces. There were no harps, no cherubs, no naked babies – just bright, beautiful people who cared. Against my better instincts, I zoomed my mind into focus on one lone angel standing perfectly, resolutely, still.
Unlike the others, her back was turned away from mine, her mahogany hair cascading down her shoulders. Her wings were folded and drooping behind her back, and I could tell by the curvature of her white neck that her eyes were downcast.
I stayed here.
This was how vampires dreamed. They thought until they let their subconscious take the better of them.
So, I stayed here, pushing down the accelerator harder.
I asked that angel why she was alone. She turned around.
Isabella Marie Swan turned around. She stood there in her white robe, her bare feet planted steady on the silver and pearl floor. She payed no mind to the clouds and the pure sapphire sky.
She didn't care an ounce for it. Her brown eyes were forever turned to the floor. Not even when talking to me would she raise them.
"Bella…" I said.
She fidgeted, but never removed her gaze from the ground, and never answered me.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Waiting," she said, and her voice was clearer and sweeter than bells.
I saw the eyelashes fringing her eyes dart back and forth a few times, before her bow mouth responded.
I shook my head violently, trying to rid myself of this daydream turned nightmare. My endeavors were successful, and I turned the Volvo's steering wheel just in time to avoid colliding with a tree.
Picking up the little silver device, I dialed Bella's number again, to tell her to pull over. She would not end up like she was in my daydream or in Alice's vision.
That was to say, dead.
I wouldn't allow it.
I sped along the winding highway, paying no mind to other cars. I passed them. I had to get to her in time.
Some time in the next few minutes, I ditched the car, and ran the rest of the way on foot.
A/N: That's all I could find so far. If I see anymore, I'll let you know.
OH, by the way. Update. My Twilight flame burned down after Breaking Dawn, and still isn't up to par with what it used to be. (No offense lovers. It wasn't bad. Just…unexpected.) Anyway, drum roll please.
IT'S SEQUEL TIME! The sequel, called 'Cold' (anyone guess why), should have the first chapter posted in December. (There's a lot on my plate right now.) Until then, kindly read and review Rio de Janeiro. Warning though: new chapters posted slow. I'm a busy girl.